- Erotic Poetry
- Zealot
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Click hereI am a zealot.
Don't try to talk me out of it.
This place is too cold for you.
I'm going in
and you are coming out under my arm
or over my shoulder,
past nearsighted cowboys and blind plowboys
who can't see you,
to where it is green and warm,
where lovers lie
with the windows open
in January
and the neighbors wonder
who he has
with him tonight.
- COMMENTS
legerdemerover 9 years agoI don't have any more to add beyond what butters said... I like the doubt we're left with at the end - it adds reality and complexity to the poem.
Esperanza_Hidalgoover 13 years agoafter getting frustrated yesterday thinking my comments were vanishing, but I look to day and they are not. As others have said, this is fine verse with a nice little bang at the end.
vrosej10over 13 years agoHmm. I really like this one though I am not sure I get it completely. It has your rough, bronzy stamp on it and I am a fan of whatever I am getting through your work.
bogusagainover 13 years agoTakes one's imagination in many directions all at once while at the same time seeming like a narrative. Teases and delivers.
UnderYourSpellover 13 years agoI liked it up to the point of
'and the neighbors wonder
who he has
with him tonight' didn't sound so romantic then as if they see him with lots of women!
buttersover 13 years agothe under the arm or over the shoulder thing speaks volumes about rescuing, and the passion is implied throughout. the passion to rescue 'her' from a place where no-one sees her and to take her to the place she will be.
i like your line break with 'lovers lie', its duality, which is reinforced by the end ... maybe this guy's superman and makes a bit of a habit rescuing fair maidens ;)
Angelineover 13 years agothink this is the best I've seen from you thus far. Says a lot with very little and what you have is so well chosen. I'd maybe lose the first line as the title already says it but I think that's a nitpick. :-)
