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Click hereUnable to stop herself, despite her need to protect her own vulnerability, the words came pouring out, "I've never done it either. Not with Bradley, not with anyone. I've messed around before, but... going all the way just seemed... I don't know. Not right. Giving it away, even to a guy I really liked, I just..." She threw her hands in the air, struggling for the right words, "I just want it to be more than what everyone else is doing. I want it to be special, with the right guy."
Turning towards Luke, she said, "Someone I could fall in love with."
Waves of emotion crashed over her as she tried to form the right words in her head. "Luke, if you're not ready, then we're not ready. And that's ok. We can wait until we're ready. But I really want you to know something." Kaylee took in a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage she needed to confess the impossible. "I realized something last night. Luke Patton, I've been saving myself, my whole entire life, waiting for the right guy." She almost choked as she admitted, "Waiting for you."
Somewhere along the way, she must have said the right thing, because his shoulders relaxed and the tightness in his face melted away. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. The faint smile that appeared on his face spoke volumes.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous6 months ago"I can't violate you." Jeez, really Luke? It's consensual sex. You're not raping her against her will. That was pretty cringe, I won't lie. That scene was a massive disappointment. And the whole religious convictions and premarital sex thing is out of character. Not a single time has anything like that been hinted at with regards to his character. I call bullshit! Well I hope they stay together at least. Starting to think Luke isn't as intelligent as I was lead to believe.
Comefindmealmost 3 years agoAhh man, what a bummer. The 1930's level Christian misogyny killed the romance for me in this part. A girl takes a shot and you shoot her down and remind her she needs to stay pure for her future husband, like having sex somehow makes you filthy and not worth marrying.
Sucks, I was really enjoying this story until now.
dgfergieover 3 years agolove, sex, respect, values reminds me................................great story!
Boomerbillover 4 years agoA portmanteau of several other Lit stories: rich self-centered girl, brilliant nerdy guy, tutor, protective guy’s parents, indifferent girl’s parents...
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoVery entertaining and well done. The only thing I can say that might be considered a criticism is that it's a fantasy. In real life, nerds do not get the hottest, most popular, and wealthiest girl in school. It only happens in fiction... TV, the movies, or stories. But it's nice to imagine.
SonofCalliciousover 7 years agoI finally read your whole story. I've started and stopped it several times, thinking it was just another Nerd gets the Cheerleader tale, but you fooled me. Your characters had character. Real, genuine character, though masked by circumstance and backgrounds. You did an excellent job of weaving Luke's obvious love of Kaylee throughout the story, but you did so without all of the cloying cliches common on LitE.
I especially liked the way you ended the story without sex. I know that sounds strange on a porn site, but that would have violated the character within Luke and would have left the story as a tawdry cheap tale, just as Luke would have felt about Kaylee had he given in. Very well done.
Horseman68almost 8 years agoCannot stop reading this. Just gets better as it goes.
random_librarianabout 11 years agoAs editor, I'll take responsibility for missing the sling issue. Mea culpa, but I'm still blaming the previously-mentioned nasty surgery/heavy narcotics I was on... Still, good catch, y'all.
And, Spartan, you've read Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages? If you (and the married/involved readers) haven't read it, run to your local library. If I have a healthy marriage today (and I do), that book is one of the major reasons. Great way of explaining miscommunication within a relationship, and how to avoid it.
Yours,
Rusty
PS -- What'd y'all expect? I really *am* a librarian, after all...
Spartan22about 11 years agoAuthor@alkymist and anon: Thank you so much for catching my error! I changed it in my draft, should I ever publish this on e-book. If I have time I'd like to go back and update it here some day in the near future. It was easier to ditch the sling. Not sure how I missed that. As for the shopping, that's a little easier; the girl has money and is always buying stuff so it's not a stretch to have her do some last-minute shopping. Buying gifts is her love-language, if you will. To clarify (and I updated in my draft) I had her buying the gifts after the date was set with her and Luke, which was really how I intended it in the first place, I just never really said it anywhere. If you see any other errors please don't hesitate to let me know!
@Archangel: As always thanks for your great inputs! And yes, I didn't forget about Bradley. More to follow.
@Everyone: Thanks again for reading my story! Unfortunately I couldn't get one out this weekend, but will shoot for next Friday. Just as a reminder, Book One is coming towards and end. Book Two and Book Three are vastly different, so be warned. Some of you that specifically like the high school romance only might want to stop at the end of Book One. After all, (except for a flashback or two) they can't stay in high school forever...!
-Spartan22
Archangel_Mabout 11 years agoYay! New chapter! My question is simple: has Kaylee informed Bradley that he's dumped? Might be important. Might not. We'll see what happens, I suppose.
The interplay between Luke and Kaylee is so... right. They're both so lovable, but for very different reasons. For whatever it's worth, I applaud Luke for doing the right thing. They say that the mark of a proper upbringing is that you do the right thing, even at two in the morning and half asleep. I think the principle holds in terms of Luke's confusion level.
Well done, both to him and to you as the author. I'm looking forward to the next installment! :)
