10 Pound Bag Ch. 121-125

**** Chapter 121 -- The Auctioneers Song ****

By: Emmeran, 2 May 2021

Edited: nnpdad 3 May 2021

Published: 3 May 2021

There was a boy in Arkansas

who wouldn't listen to his ma

when she told him he should go to school.

He'd sneak away in the afternoon,

take a little walk then pretty soon,

you'd find him at the local auction barn.

25 dollar bid it now, 30 dollar 30

Will you gimmie 30 make it 30

Bid it on a 30 dollar will you gimmie 30.

Who'll bid a 30 dollar bid?

30 dollar bid it now, 35, will you gimmie 35

to make it 35 to bid at 35.

Who would a-bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

- Lee Roy van Dyke

*Authors note: You have to listen to understand the speed of the cadence and full song. This is only the first quarter of it.

Time Stitches. The quickest way to blow up a childhood memory was to even think about harboring those expectations now. Frankly, this 1822 auctioneer sucked, stunk, lacked charisma. In other words, he had absolutely zero stage presence and the auction moved along at a crawl.

First up was housewares. It appeared that some people had sold out in entirety in the crash that followed the Panic. It looked like they were just taking whatever cash they could raise and heading home. On the third, mostly kitchen goods, Amos grabbed my arm. I looked at him and then bought it. It was easy. Mostly a couple of general stores were buying and they were getting them at bid minimum. I surprised everyone and simply outbid them. I paid $4.50 for the lot, basically a bad cup of coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. It took us almost an hour to get there; the auctioneer was that awful. There was no way I was going to stand there for three days. We needed to get this thing moving and for that, we needed a new auctioneer.

I decided to intervene. I couldn't bid if I were doing the calling, so I handed my lot list to Timmons and told him which lots I absolutely wanted. For the other lots, I listed my max bid, but hoped to get them much cheaper. Then I went and sought out the supposed auctioneer. I sent Amos to bring me a strong coffee with lots of sugar; I'd need to be revved up for this.

He was in his mid-40s, wearing a cheap suit, hung-over, and desperately in need of a haircut. I didn't have a lot of time, so I simply introduced myself and told him that I'd spell him for an hour. That earned me a dubious look until I held out my hand with two $10 silver eagles. I knew that was probably more money than he had hoped to clear for the entire auction. It didn't take him long to figure that out himself. He grabbed the coins and told me he'd be right back after he had some breakfast. I simply smiled, turned away, and began practicing my stage voice and cadence on my way back to the stage. I sat down on the makeshift steps and smoked a cigarette while I waited for my coffee. I rehearsed the words in my head, always echoing the same cadence I wanted to sing out of my mouth.

I realized it was time to go on, so I went up the steps to the block, drank down the last of my coffee, and began to cast my voice out over the crowd. Casting was a learned skill that I was first introduced to while listening to my Drill Instructors throughout boot camp and trainings. Without electronics, you had to do it with your voice alone. It was something you learned.

"Well, there, folks the auctioneer has taken a break and I am filling in." I said to the image of my friend and business partner, who stood just beyond the back edge of the crowd. I didn't shout or raise my voice. I merely cast it, putting a different emphasis on the sound waves.

"He'll be back a little later, but until then y'all got me, Zachary Ebenezer Narrater."

"We have a lot to go through today, so I'm going to speed things up. Please pay attention and keep up. We may get very fast. Everyone knows the rules, so here we go, with Lot 6 - common yard tools." I made sure to enunciate clearly and I could feel all that sugar kicking in.

I began with a gentle slow almost singsong, "We start our bidding at reserve...

"looking for a bid of one. Now people, who will give me a one dollar biiiid?" I slowly sang out and I saw Timmons' hand go up, thank god for inside help.

"Dollar here, confirmed. Come on folks, these are good tools, can I get a one ten bid for these fine tools?" I was slowly starting to sing-song chant and I saw another hand go up.

"Well, we got one ten, thank you for the one ten, who will give me a one twennnty biiiid?"

A hand went up and I turned on the enthusiasm, "Onnnne twenty, one twenty, thanka, sir at one twenty. Can I get one thirty, how about a one thirty, can I get a one thirty bid? Come on folks, think about it, great deal on good tools, can I get a one thiiirty bid? One thirty right there, thank you sir, and how about one forty, one forty, one forty you won't find a better deal can I get a onnnne fooourty bid?" I joyously sang, I was having fun now.

And so it continued, I actually improved as I got into the rhythm and the attitude of the crowd seemed to shift towards the positive. I moved all six lots of yard tools in less than fifteen minutes, picking up speed as we went. Young Amos stood at my side as a bid spotter and Jeb was my runner to bring me drinks and messages. I was having the time of my life. I'd never dreamed I'd get to be an actual auctioneer.

I called a lunch stop after two hours and we'd gotten through all of the hardware and were starting on livestock after a long break. I needed tea with lemon for my throat and I'd still definitely be hoarse tomorrow. I took my lunch at Byrne's Tavern and enjoyed a warm salty broth soup for the light meal I needed. I had a shot of his whisky and a shot of mine and then shifted back to espresso and lemon tea. I was surprised that John could make espresso, but happy to have it. I basically didn't talk the entire time.

I did warn my team that I was about to kick the speed up and that they needed to be on their toes, I wouldn't cheat, but I wouldn't be outbid either. It's tough being a referee when you're on one of the teams.

I finished my cigarette and head back up to work, this was where it started to get really fun.

**** Chapter 122 -- A New Side Profession ****

By: Emmeran, 26 April 2021

Edited: nnpdad 2 May 2021

Published: 5 May 2021

I was now about to reach a new low in my illustrious lowlife existence. I was about to sell people on the Auction Block. Now to give the devil his due, I also intended to purchase them and free them in Rulo. But still, here I was selling people. I was simply confident that I had a bigger wallet than any person here. The bottom line was, I didn't have time to interview them and I could actually be purchasing trouble. A lot was riding on my assumption that most of these slaves were decent people. No doubt, the ten percent rule applied, so I was sure that there was trouble in this entire undertaking.

The other thing I had to worry about was how to store these folks until we could hit the road. They needed to be under guard until we got them to settle down. And they needed shelter and food. I decided to go with my gut, but I needed to get the auction and purchases done also. I talked to the bank manager before I took to the block. I told him I might need to deposit more gold Monday and to hold everything in escrow until I got there that morning.

Then I took to the stage to warm up. Well the crowd had grown until it looked like almost 500 people had shown up. Apparently it was entertainment - I was the only show in town. There was no way they all would hear me. I also wouldn't be able to pick-out bidders. That meant I needed to do something, quick. I turned to look for help and Timmons was there with a large tin megaphone in his hands. It looked like it weighed thirty pounds and when I hefted it, I realized that it probably did.

Timmons and Jeb saw the problem, asked me to heft it, took a quick measurement, and then they were off again. I decided to get the crowd organized and then go warm up back behind the stage. The large, and growing, crowd had me a little off kilter. Where was Esther when I needed someone to charm them?

I gave the phone a try.

"Howdy there, folks!" I projected through the tin cone and I'll be damned if it didn't boom out the other end. But it was heavy.

"Howdy!" They hollered back, which caught me completely off guard.

"Well, folks, this is a surprise. There are a lot more of you now including a bunch of ladies, I'm sorry but the tea kettles have all already been sold." This brought a chuckle from the crowd.

"Can those of you at the very back hear me? If you can, please wave your arm." The back of the crowd folks gave a wave and I was suitably surprised.

"Now folks, I'm going to need all of the bidders up here at the front so we can see them. We'll do this at every lot change, but for this first set of lots we are selling 'yard birds,' chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys. So any person who intends to bid on 'yard birds,' come up to the front so I can see you."

"Please folks, we need a path up the middle here for people to walk. So if you are on this side of me," I waved my right hand, "Please take three steps to your left and you folks on the other side, please do the same to your right." It had taken me a minute to get my mind sorted on which way they needed to go and a couple of guys directly in front of me just stood there looking confused. So I said, "If you are standing in front of me and are confused just take three steps to your left. That's right sir, either left will do. We just need a walk path." The crowd chuckled again. The lost folk moved all except one and eventually someone came out and helped him. 'Wow! Just fucking wow!' I thought.

"Folks, while you're getting organized, I'm going to head back here and warm up. We'll start the bidding in ten minutes, give or take." With that, I put the megaphone down and walked off behind the dock. Byrne was there with his wife. She had brought me a glass of warm saline water flavored with lemon to gargle with and loosen up my voice. She told me it was something she had learned in singing lessons as a young lady.

I smoked a quick cigarette first and then gargled multiple times with the lemon-saline. It was time to see if it helped. I started slow and quiet.

"Weeelll, thank you lady, thank you ma'am, it no longer feels like a rusty can. I'd love to have some more aaat breeeaak, I'll do anything whatever it takes, to get to the end of this surprising daaayyy." I chanted out and then coughed.

She clapped in delight and had a bright blush on her face, "I'll be back with more in an hour, maybe even a taste of John's fine bourbon!"

She was excited and happy and I just ran one more practice and included some numbers this time, the rhythm quickly jumped back out of my brain and, after a quick leak behind a tree, I was ready to go. I checked my clothes and hair then headed back out front.

The good news was that the fellas had installed a log section with a V cut it that top that held the megaphone almost perfectly, I really couldn't wait to hear this story tonight over beers. There would be beers tonight and lots of it. I stepped up to the megaphone.

"Well folks welcome to the auction, this morning we sold off all the home items and yard tools. What we have from this point is livestock, slaves and property. Now apparently some of that property includes boats this time, but we also have wagons and properties. All property will be sold on site at each and that will start on Monday. There is a list posted." I droned all of this out not really interested in it yet myself but it was time to start entertaining.

"Weeell remember folks we have some rules know them or you'll be very sooorrrY!" I called out with enthusiasm and the crowd suddenly erupted in applause. Wow, talk about starved for entertainment.

I settled down for a moment and said "Folks, now the bidding rules are posted over at the payment desk. Please know the rules before you bid. Failure to pay will result in many bad things happening to you, including your cows giving sour milk, your birds laying rotten eggs, and your well running dry. More importantly, the Judge will be meeting with you in front of everyone."

Laughter erupted at that point which really surprised me, definitely starved for affection. This might be fun, but it would be exhausting. I took a deep breath to relax and moved on.

"I'd like to introduce myself folks, my name is Zachariah Narrator and I'm down visiting from the village of Rulo. You can call me Mr. Narrator." I stepped clear of the megaphone and waved, they all waved back and shouted. "Howdy, Mr. Narrator!"

"Alrighty there, folks. I hear we have a few 'God Talkers' with us this afternoon, please raise your hand if you're a 'Man of the cloth'." I waited a moment and said "Fellas, if one of you could come and bless this dear crowd so that they make wise financial decisions on this day." That brought general laughter from the crowd, but one of the men of the cloth walked up onto the block and stood next to me. It was a father of the Catholic sort.

"Now, Father," I reminded him, "tomorrow is your big day. Please keep our blessing short this very hot and sunny day," which made the crowd laugh again. He was a young priest and gave me a big grin before he stepped up and gave his blessing. He moved away, I stepped back up. It was time for the show.

"Alll Rrrrrrriiiiiight now folks here we go!" I called out loud and clear rolling the R as hard as I could.

"Yay!" The cheer went up.

"Bring 'em out boooys, make it quick if you wooould! We have Lot 100 here folks, two dozen mixed chicken." Four men brought two wooden cages each with a dozen birds and stacked them in front of me. I waited as they moved to the side and then took a deep breath and started.

**** Chapter 123 -- Selling People ****

By: Emmeran, 27 Aril 2021

Edited: nnpdad, 2 May 2021

Published: 5 May 2021

"...Threeeee Foorty and it oughta be Fifty! Three-fifty one last time, it's what their worth!." I paused and looked around.

"Three Forty going once, Thrrrreeeeee Forty gone now twwwiiiiice, Sooollld for thirty-four dollars a head to this feller right here." I was pointing at Jeb and announcing the last lot of the livestock sales. It was a lot of 10 horses that I had purchased.

"Alrighty now folks, it's break time then we're moving on the slaves and other property. Please visit the cash desk folks and bidders for the next lots move to the front." With that, I walked off the block and went to sit down.

I took the chair gratefully and sat down to gargle and loosen my ever tightening vocal chords, I would definitely pay for this. Brin showed up; doggy kisses, abusive tail, and ever faithful Brin. Now known as Brin the War Dog to many a person across the land, he was a legend in his own right. At that moment, I was exceedingly glad to see Brin. He infused new energy in me in some odd way that I cannot explain. Without a doubt, I felt refreshed almost immediately. We even played for a bit. I'm sure I stretched my muscles out, I felt even better afterwards. I needed a little cleaning up but it was worth it. I finished my break and went back onstage to wrap up the day, only this time Brin came with me.

Brin and I took a couple of laps around the auction block and I let him smell everything. There wasn't much on this small wood platform but he smelled it. He even marked the log holding my megaphone, I simply shrugged to the crowd and earned chuckles. I finally heeled and sat him down next to me when I got back going.

"Wellllcome back everyone, it's time to finish up for the day, so we can all get on to a well earned dinner. All bidders must finalize at the cash desk before supper tonight, so we need to finish before dinner. I'm hoping for a special meal and won't be kept from it." Even that brought a low laughter, I must be doing something right.

"I'd like to introduce my friend and protector Brin to y'all, say 'Howdy' to the folks Brin." Well that was easy, with a very low voice I said 'Greet' to Brin and he barked twice to say hello. The crowd responded, "Howdy Brin".

Poor Brin didn't know what to do and his confusion was obvious. I just started to talk again and it seemed to calm him. "Well folks, Brin here is a War Dog and he's saved my sorry hide more than once."

We got general shouts of support for Brin from the crowd so I continued on, "I allowed myself to wander into a Lakota ambush and would have taken a lance in the back if Brin hadn't taken a sudden desire to chew on that warrior's soft bits. He did got hold of that man and was shaking him back and forth by those bits."

A quiet but overwhelming groan of realization went up from the men in the crowd as they realized what I meant. I pushed forward, "Needless to say, that poor soul will never try to lance someone in the back again!!" I finished with a triumphant flourish. The crowd responded with cheers for Brin, I hugged him and patted his side, reassuring him that he was a good dog and Brin seemed happy.

Back at the megaphone, I got right down to business.

"Well know folks we've got lots coming up and theeey'llllll stand next to me folks, listen up closely as this is the best property. First lot is number 1501 a cook!"

I took a step back, drank a half shot of bourbon and then started my chant while at the same time bidding surreptitiously via my crew down front. I realized that credit was still weak around here and very few people rose to challenge our bids. We took them all. Most wins were close to reserve, but we did end up paying a high premium for more than a few. Creepily enough, two or three guys kept bidding up the children. I marked those faces and decided to remember them well.

I was exhausted at the end and my wallet seemed to ache. I had just spent more than four thousand dollars before the boats or real estate I intended to purchase. The boats were the last lots and Captain Timmons bought two of the three, in the name of Rulo Trade & Transport and under credit issued by the still-in-formation 'Rulo Territorial Bank and Trust.' Naturally, as primary shareholder in that organization, I provided the cash for his purchases.

"Weeeelll now folks I thank you for coming BYyyye! You can stay for looooonggger but it's time for me to eaaattt!"

"Thank you, folks," I said in a normal voice. "I'll be taking my dinner down at Byrne's Tavern. Please feel free to stop and chat after I've had about an hour to relax." With that, Brin and I were gone. I was tired and needed a rest. My crew was there as I came off. I asked Timmons to have the bank guy settle up for my purchases and, with that, I was off to Bryne's for food and rest.

**** ****

I managed to send Amos and Brin to fetch the big guy as I was escorted up to Bryne's, where I was deposited in their private dining room to rest and recover. Mrs. Bryne put their 13 year old daughter in charge of my care and she stood guard like a soldier, not allowing me to talk while feeding me broth and tea. She'd make someone an excellent doting wife, just so long as that someone wasn't me.

Amos brought the big guy in and I bade him sit down across from me at the table. I handed him the menu and told him to order and asked Amos to make sure all of our crew were eating also. I hated to run Amos around at dinner time but I needed to look to the care of those dependent on me.

The big guy was looking at the menu, really just a small piece of paper looking confused so I ordered for him. Just meat, potatoes, eggs and milk, but I was worried about giving these underfed people too much food right away.