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- 17 - Another Side of Me
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Chapter 17 Another Side of Me
I believe the line of pain and pleasure mirrors the line of dominance and submission. Some people are wired for one or the other. Some prefer to blur the lines occasionally. As much as I loved being with women, I'd never brought those elements into a lesbian experience. The closest I came was sharing the submissive role with another girl at the direction of my Dom. Every once in a while I would be struck with the desire to please a Mistress. Even less frequently, I wanted to be a Mistress.
I was wired very deeply to be submissive. I almost never wanted to stray from that role. But other times, I would see a petite little girl and I wanted to dominate. I had shied away from being dominant. I believed if one was truly submissive, they could not be dominant, and vice versa. But I can be dominant in other areas of my life, so why not here? To truly be submissive, you must understand the dominant role. Such a fine line. Perhaps I could find enjoyment on either side of it. Occasionally, usually intoxicated, I entertained the idea.
I understood the dominant role. Hell, I've even fantasized about it. But I was full of unusual contradictions, what was one more? I wouldn't want to do it all the time; it's really not my nature, but the elements are there. I wanted that control, just once. Thinking about it made my heart race and my breathing quicken. What would it be like to see the experience from the other side?
I had a cute, young blond coworker. Such a stupid little girl, but every time I saw her I wanted to gag her, tie her up, and tease and torture her tight little body until she begged to please me. With her permission, of course; safe, sane, and consensual, as the mantra goes. And I believed she would give me that consent. I possessed a darkness that people sought even as they tried to hide from it. I enjoyed manipulating people, and taking control would be easy. I would have to be creative. I would not find the same wanton abandon in that role. But maybe I could find something else.
