A Bad Day All Around

A Bad Day All Around

This is just a short little fluff piece. Not groundbreaking in any way shape or form. It also does not contain any thing of socially redeeming value. There is no senseless violence or gratuitous sex to speak of in it either.

If you belong to the morality police cabal that frequents this erotic story website, especially the LW section, I have three suggestions for you. First DON'T read this story, second DON"T surf porno web sites if the content upsets you, and three get some therapy before it's too late.

To the rest of you, enjoy!

Short description: Everyone was having a really bad day; two of them didn't know it yet though.

I should be at work but instead I am inexplicably, composed and sitting my kitchen table drinking a cup of freshly brewed coffee. I needed it to help calm me. Normally I find it a very peaceful practice. I used to do this regularly when our kids were young and quite a handful. I would get up about an hour earlier than the rest of the household just to enjoy the quiet. I guess it was kind of like my Zen thing.

I'm Evan; Evan Johnson, happily married for twenty five years by the way. At least up until about an hour ago. We have four children the last of which left the house last year.

My wife was lonely and depressed the empty nest syndrome I think she called it. So I told her to get a hobby. I guess she did. I didn't know his name until a few minutes ago. His name was Stud. At least that is what she kept calling him.

"Do it Stud, fuck my face."

"Come on baby let me see you swallow the whole thing. I know you can do it."

It was odd that the aroma of my wife Audrey's favorite blueberry cinnamon blend from Katie's Coffee Bean permeating the house didn't interrupt them. Normally when I brewed up a carafe she would come running downstairs before it even finished.

We have one of those really expensive brewers that you need to spend $25 every three weeks to descale. You'd think that for $300 dollars they could make one that you didn't have to do that to it. Anyway Audrey was very busy though, so that could explain why she hadn't smelled it yet.

"Tell me how much better I am than your spineless wimp of a husband!"

"Oh my god you are so much better!"

I have my old Smith & Wesson model 59 locked and loaded, resting on the red oak kitchen table next to my mug. I debated whether to have the safety on or off, I went with off. I had to be careful. Well it is just in case, but after all her boyfriend is a cop. How do I know that? Because when I came home early and dashed into the house, his uniform and equipment belt were scattered around my living room floor along with every bit of my wife's clothing, including her black lace Victoria's Secret crotchless panties.

She bought them two months ago and showed them to me. I immediately started to get hard and told her to try them on, but she cooed, "Down boy these are for very special occasions only."

I assumed that meant our 25^th wedding anniversary which came and went without her wearing them. I wasn't really sure what could have been more special than that? My birthday? Nope that was two days ago. Now I know.

"That's it baby, fuck me harder, harder. Oh my god you're so huge I never felt anything like it until you came along. And thank god you did!"

The sounds of the bed springs squeaking and the headboard banging against the wall kept piercing incessantly into my brain. It was making it difficult for me to stay focused on what I had to do. I wasn't sure how much time I had but judging from the noise emitting from what used to be my bedroom, which by the way, I'll never step foot in again, I had plenty of time.

I knew it wasn't their first time together because mixed in with all the grunting, moaning, and insults directed at me, I heard,

"Damn it baby we have to find a way to increase our time together to two or three times a week, instead of once and a while."

That was coming from the mouth of my loving wife. At least that is what I think she said. It was difficult to understand her because her mouth was full at the time.

How did I end up here in the middle of this nightmare? It was silly really. I drove off to work and forgot my briefcase. No I really did. I left it in the garage because I set it down to get the cat out from under the hood of my car and forgot about it. Tabby was our second cat. One cold winter morning years ago I forgot to pound on the hood before starting the car up and that was the end of Clarence, our first cat. There is nothing quite like the sound a cat makes as it is getting wound up in a fan belt rotating at about one thousand rpm. Not to mention all the fur flying around. Clarence wasn't that smart and apparently neither was I.

"You love it don't you bitch. Who owns this pussy?"

"You do baby, only you."

"You are never going to allow that wimp you call your husband touch my pussy again are you babe?"

"No he will never touch me again, I swear. I probably couldn't feel his little dick anyway after your cock has stretched me out."

My briefcase really wasn't all that important so I was just going to let it go, but I had to go visit a client that took me right near the house, soooooooooooo.

Anyway, I pulled onto my street on the way back from the client's office and I immediately saw a police black and white parked in front. It felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. I assumed something terrible had happened to my devoted wife. I whipped my 8 year old clear coat peeling Camry into the driveway, narrowly missing my wife's brand new silver Lexus LS sedan. Her plaster garden gnome wasn't so lucky. I didn't even close the door and sprinted into the house. Which is of course how I got to be here drinking coffee.

"Take me doggy now stud, do me good.....God I've never felt anything so good."

It was very upsetting and instead of coffee I really wanted scotch but I figured I would need a clear head to deal with this.

I have to admit that their cries of passion were very disturbing and seeing it was worse yet. I had to see it though to get the video and audio I needed. Honestly, seeing them rutting in my bed wasn't the most disturbing aspect. It was the verbal humiliation my wife was heaping on me.

"God you are so much better than Evan. Give it to me baby, I mean all of it. I know I can take it all this time. I know I can take it. Oh fuck yessss."

Apparently that really spurred on her paramour because the whole house started shaking along with the bed. And his swearing and grunting went up several decibels.

Ok, ok, yes he did have a bigger dick than me, so excuse the hell out of me! If she needed more, she shouldn't have married me. Let me tell you it is a shock when your wife is fucking her lover in your marital bed, and yes they were doing it on my side. My wife was breathlessly telling her lover how hot that fact made her as she was riding him cowgirl style.

"Maybe I should leave some of my cum on his pillow. Wouldn't that be hot?"

"No baby my husband might be a clueless pencil dicked moron, but even he might notice that. Besides isn't making him suck your seed out of my pussy after you've filled me up enough for you?"

That's when I ran to the bathroom bent over the toilet and puked up my two Crunchy Tacos and an Epic Crispy Chicken & Guac Burrito from Del Taco. Those things are astonishingly good and cheap. I was sorry to lose them. I was surprised they didn't hear or smell that either. I guess they were concentrating on what they were doing.

Part of me couldn't believe it was happening even after having seen and heard enough of it to convince the OJ jury of what was going on. But my wife was fifty years old and the dipshit she was fucking couldn't have been more than thirty and he was in really good shape. To be nice about it my wife wasn't. Of course neither was I, but couldn't the shit head have at least gone after someone's wife that was in shape? I didn't get the attraction at all.

"Oh my god Audrey yours is the only pussy that can take all of me. God it feels so good to be able to go deep!"

Oh.

It seemed to go on forever but about ninety minutes later it got very quiet and it appeared as if they were taking a break. Suddenly I heard my wife ask, "What's that smell, that's my special blend. Did you make coffee?"

There was no answer from her boyfriend. I just heard "Oh my god!" from Audrey and then a bunch of running around and the sound of closet doors and dresser drawers opening and closing and finally the clothes hamper. I assumed they were dumping the evidence of their tryst.

When I had looked into the bedroom earlier I saw there were a number of sex toys, lubes, and other sundry performance enhancement items lying about. Okay the lubes I could see, but if you have such a big dick what do you need toys for? It was discouraging to see however there wasn't a condom, new or used, in sight. I made a mental note to get an STD test right away.

I heard them clambering down the stairs. They both appeared in the kitchen naked except for the sheets each had hastily wrapped around them. They saw me at the same moment. Audrey sucked in a sharp breath because I was there and lover boy did the same. I'm not sure if his shock was the sight of me, or the Model 59. He looked around furtively in the direction of his uniform and was instantly desperate.

"It's not there stud."

"What?"

"Your service weapon. Your supervisor took it with him when he left. Nice guy too."

He literally started to wilt before my eyes and then I saw recognition splash across his face. In despair he fell to his knees losing his sheet in the process and began a frantic search of the pile on the floor.

"He took that one too. He called it your 'throw down' weapon I believe. I assume it was the fact that the serial number had been filed off of it that upset him the most. Something about 5-7 years for that?"

Ex-officer Stud Johnson shoulders slumped dramatically with that revelation.

"Like I said, a good guy. We had quite a conversation while you two love birds were doing your thing upstairs." Studly quickly peered out the window at the street. "Yeah he took the patrol car too. Your boss said you were supposed to be providing security for a road construction site. He was going to take your uniform too, but thought you might need it when you leave here. But where was I? Oh yeah after Sgt. Marks got his video of the two of you and collected your weapons he spied my S&W. and gave me a look."

"Is that your weapon?"

"Yes."

"Is it licensed?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how to shoot it?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to shoot either one of them? You know we get mad if civilians shoot someone, even if they deserve it. One of the perks of our job is that we get to shoot people, not you."

I replied, "I promise Uncle Pat, I mean Sgt. Marks, unless officer douche bag has a third weapon we don't know about, no one is going to get shot."

"Your boss said 'Okay,' and he headed for the door before pausing, 'Oh do me a favor and tell Officer Johnson not to come to the station. We'll call him when we want to talk with him.'

I never saw a police officer cry before. A lot of good his big dick was doing him now. In any case his dick was shrinking by the minute.

I thought it a good idea to pick up my weapon at this point. "You don't have a third gun do you?" He shook his head no. I knew he didn't because Sgt. Marks and I made sure. I was just trying to make a point. I didn't really aim it at either of them; I just sort of waved it around and continued my story.

"Maybe you could call your wife to give you a ride home? Probably not, she was pretty upset with the video I emailed to her of you two in my bedroom. It was hard to understand what she was saying, but it was something about her dad the police chief? And how could you do this to your kids? She told me all about them you seemed to have had a nice family, too bad."

Despite the situation I was actually having fun now. It felt a little bit like having a fish on the line and I was just playing with him for a bit.

"I'd have my wife take you but her car got impounded."

"What?" was the high pitched squeal coming from Audrey's mouth.

"The police impounded your car Audrey because there were a couple of ounces of unregulated marijuana on the front seat. Sgt. Marks said that normally they would just write you up a ticket if they did anything at all, but he said he felt like they owed me something for all the trouble the department caused. Don't worry he said you could probably pick it up in a few days after they ran all their forensics on it."

"Oh my god." She wasn't screeching it now. It was more of a sorrowful moan. Kind of like a lonely little beagle howling at the moon.

"Well officer Fife, I think it's time you put on your uniform and leave now." And so he did. Once he had gone my wife found her voice again.

"Please Evan I love you, this didn't mean anything at all. It was just..."

"A hobby?"

"Sort of like that baby."

"Oh man, I wish you had told me that sooner. I was worried that you loved him and were going to divorce me. Wow, now I feel bad. I guess I really over-reacted didn't I? I mean you still love me and all."

"Of course I love you Evan, why would you think I didn't?"

"Well besides the whole infidelity thing, fucking your lover on my side of the bed, and you calling me a pencil dicked clueless moron, they were other signs pointing me in that direction. The capper of course was you making me eat your lover's sperm out of your cheating cunt thing too."

"Oh sweetie, I never really did that, it was just bedroom talk to get us worked up. Wait...you said you overreacted, Evan what did you do?"

"So your boyfriend has a twelve inch dick but you still need to bad mouth me to get worked up?"

She looked exasperated. "Evan what did you do!"

She had seemed in a state of shock since she first laid eyes on me but now she was definitely nervous and paying close attention. "Well I'm sorry but when I thought you didn't love me anymore I sent the video to our children. I just wanted them to see who their new dad was going to be. You might want to wait a while before you call them. They seemed upset for some reason. I thought they would be happy for you. Oh well, shows you what I know."

"Oh my god you didn't!"

I just nodded my head. "I forgot to mention another thing, but you probably already knew this, your lover's wife works for the same company as you. I think she mentioned that she was the CEO's executive assistant. Don't worry I told her not to have you fired because you would really need your job even if you did get transferred to Little Rock.

"When I spoke to an attorney she said that since you make more money than I do, you will be paying me a lot of alimony for a several years. She thought it would be somewhere in the neighborhood of three thousand a month. I know most cheated on husbands refuse to accept it, kind of a macho thing I guess. But that won't be the case with me.

"I plan on taking a leave of absence from work and go on an extended fishing vacation to get over my pain. What's that line from the song? 'Deep sea senorita fishing in the Gulf of Mexico.'

"I'm not sure why she wanted the still photo of you. She said that it was to give to her father. Maybe it was so he could pass it around to all the officers in case they wanted to start writing you citations and the other harassment things that they do. Or maybe it was to see if any more of them wanted dating opportunities with you? But at any rate I gave her one that clearly showed your deep throating skills.

"I also sent a copy of the video to your mom and dad and all your co-workers."

"How could you be so cruel to me Evan?"

"Oh sweetheart I wasn't being cruel. I just wanted everyone to know who your new beau was. Your Facebook friends all seemed happy for you."

Audrey was pretty much non-responsive at this point. She just sat on the floor in her sheet while whimpering, shaking her head, and mumbling, "This can't be happening to me."

"Ok sweetheart time for you to go get dressed and pack a bag. Your parents should be here soon to pick you up?"

I pushed her in the direction of the stairs to put some clothes on but never stopped yapping. "Pick me up?"

I shouted to her as she was now out of site. "Well of course, you are going to need a place to stay. They told me that you could stay with them for a while. The house will have to be sold as part of the divorce."

"Divorce?"

"You seem to have a number of questions dear. That really surprises me. What did you think would happen when I found out?"

"Well I, I really..."

"Didn't think you'd get caught? Are we going to continue to have this inane conversation?"

It got quiet upstairs for a few minutes. She wasn't making a sound save for the occasional sob and whimper. Why is it that cheaters always cry when they get caught? It's the damnedest thing. If getting caught was going to be so upsetting then don't cheat for god sakes. She came back downstairs after about ten minutes dressed but without a suitcase.

"Evan honey, we really...."

Just then I heard her parents' car pull into our driveway.

"Good bye Audrey." Always the gentleman I held the door open for her.