tagHumor & SatireA Bitch in Heat Gets Mounted Ch. 02

A Bitch in Heat Gets Mounted Ch. 02


This story is a takeoff on my previous story, "A Bitch in Heat Gets Mounted." It will make no sense unless you first read the other story. This chapter is not a sequel or continuation, but an alternate ending, for humorous rather than erotic effect.

As always, I only post for your enjoyment, so let me know if I have accomplished that or not by voting and leaving comments and feedback.


The story I described in "A Bitch in Heat Gets Mounted," was a fantasy that omitted a few details of the sticky reality for "literary" purposes.

Here is what really happened:

First, when Jim threw Sharon onto the dining table, as he flung her across it, her arms spread out to try to break her fall, and she knocked pretty much everything off the table: a vase of flowers, the salt and pepper shakers, and an heirloom sugar bowl, the butter dish, and the container of vitamin pills. The crockery shattered noisily on the floor, spilling a mixture of butter, sugar, salt, pepper, glass, pills and pottery shards all around the dining room floor. Jim and Sharon were sufficiently caught up in a fog of sexual lust that they tried to ignore this, but the dog came in and began noisily lapping up the sugar and butter. The dog then went into the living room, where they could hear him retching on the carpet, vomiting up his overly rich and overly sharp snack.

Jim began to spank Sharon, but the phone started ringing. As Jim tried to make Sharon's cries of Ouch! Ow! drown out the ringing, and continued to whack her ass, Sharon managed to cry out: "Jim, the phone, I need to answer the phone!"

He ignore her and let the machine answer it, so it came on over the speaker phone on the machine in the kitchen. The call was from his mother. They were forced to listen to the entire three minute message that his mother left him, asking why he hadn't called her, and telling him she was still having diarrhea and an upset stomach from something she ate. She also mentioned that Jim's father was on his way over to Jim's house to return some tools he'd borrowed.

After Jim's mother hung up, Jim began fucking Sharon. The table groaned with the Sharon's weight and the force of Jim's thrusts. Then the phone rang a second time. They heard over the speaker that this call was from Sharon's boss. Sharon said: "Honey, this call is really urgent. I really have to talk to him. Could you just hand me the cordless phone?"

Jim reached around and managed to snag the cordless phone from the side table, so Sharon was trying to talk to her boss about something he wanted her to do for a meeting the next day, while Jim continued humping her. Sharon told her boss she was a little out of breath because she had just run in from outside to catch the phone. That probably did not explain all the noises her boss was hearing, but he was too polite to comment. Actually, he just assumed Sharon was on the toilet. He did however hurry his message a bit.

No sooner had Sharon's boss hung up, than the phone rang a third time. Sharon figured it was her boss calling again, and since she still had the cordless handset, she answered it:

Sharon (Breathless): "Hello"

Telemarketer: "Hi! Is this Mrs. James at 3009 Wisteria Lane"

Sharon (panting): "yessss."

Telemarketer: "Wonderful! This is Bob with Rapid Roofing Repair. How are you today?"

Sharon (grunting): "Unnnh, I'm, unnh, OK."

Bob: "That's great, Mrs. James! Do you own your own home?"

Sharon (Feeling her arousal growing): "oooooh, ummmm, yessssss, ohhh!"

Bob: "Fantastic! We just happen to have a roofing crew in your neighborhood this week working on another house, and we could offer you a great price on a new 30 year, fire resistant, insulated, top quality roof that will add value to your home, and save you money on your energy bills. One of our supervisors is just down the block, and would love to stop by to give you an estimate. You do like to save money, don't you?"

Sharon: "Unnh No. Ooooh. Jim! I mean, yes, but, Oh Gawd! Yes, Yes, Yes! More!"

Bob: "Fabulous! Our supervisor can be at your door in just a few minutes!"

Sharon: "NO! Go away! Not today! Ooooh myyyyy gaaawwdddd! Bob – unnnhhh, look, Bob, I'm busy getting fucked right now, and can't talk." (she groped for the off button on the handset and hung up).

With the phone off, Sharon figured she could finally get down to getting well fucked. But then the back door opened and their daughter Jennifer came home from school with her school friend Courtney, calling out: "Hi Mom, I'm home! Got any snacks?"

The girls walked into the kitchen where the camera was still flashing on its tripod at 10 second intervals. In the next room Jim and Sharon were fucking like bunnies on the dining room table. Jennifer and Courtney both got some instant sex education. Jennifer turned purple with embarrassment, and Courtney began giggling uncontrollably.

Jim, groping for an explanation said: "Honey, Mom sat in the rose bushes and I was just pulling the thorns out of her bottom." But that didn't explain why his pants were falling down, or why he was bent over Sharon like that, or why the camera was set up in the kitchen. Oh, well, he thought, probably it's about time Sharon had "the talk" with Jennifer anyway. He wondered what Courtney was going to tell her parents.

Jennifer said they would go back outside to play until dinner, and two girls ran back outside, giggling and laughing.

"The dinner!" Sharon thought "Oh, no! The dinner!"

They could smell the dinner on the stove starting to burn. They tried to ignore the smoke, but then it set off the smoke alarm, which was too insistent to ignore. Jim had to pull out of Sharon and go turn off the stove and leap up to take the battery out of the smoke alarm to get it to quit sounding. Sharon just lay over the table, her ass sticking out, and her juices drying on her thighs, waiting for him to come back and finish.

Finally, Jim came back and got down to business. After working himself back up to an erection, he stuck his cock back inside Sharon. Now, he really bore down on her, but when he started to cum, he put his full weight down on Sharon, and the table, over stressed, gave way. The legs spread, and with a screeching moan the whole thing collapsed on the floor, with Jim and Sharon still on top of it.

Jim's father, Bill, had arrived and was in the back yard putting the tools back in the shed and talking to Jennifer and Courtney when they heard the crash. Jennifer tried to stop him, but Bill went running in the back door to see what had happened, finding Sharon naked and Jim half so, still locked together, like a dog and a bitch, lying on the wreckage of the dining table, laughing / crying – he couldn't tell which. Bill said: "Oooops, sorry," and quickly backed out the door.

Jim said: "Um, Honey, next time, I think I'll just settle for the bedroom, on the bed, missionary position, at bedtime."

(The end)

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