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Click hereHe did end up dating some. Even dating a woman for several years. He was never able to get to the point of remarrying though. He gave and received love in the years since his redemption, but it would never quite match up to what he had with Christine. As much as he wanted to be open, wanted the possibility to be there for someone new to take over, he understood there would always be a comparison. It wouldn't be fair.
His dalliance with an angel all those years ago gave him a lifelong interest in the supernatural and the spiritual. He had consumed many volumes on the topic. However, he had been unable to get through Paradise Lost. This being the fifth time he had tried.
It would also be the last. James knew he didn't have much time left. They say it is better to live life without regret. James couldn't do that. He would always regret the time he spent walled off from the world. Christine had been right. He had too much love to give. He regretted not sharing it for those years. It was not something he could now change, but he swore he would not forget it, lest he repeat it.
He hoped for a few more days, just to get through the damn book and hopefully see a bit more of spring before he left. He slowly got up off the bench, his days of doing anything quickly long behind him.
James smiled, looked up at the sky, and stated, "I'll see you soon sweetie."
Interesting and unusual. I’d won’t say his degree of mourning and isolation was extreme. He mentioned how Christine helped him deal with depression, so he really wasn’t equipped to handle severe events. Everyone uses the cliche that she would want him to find another to share his life. This is probably the first time I’ve read someone suggesting that she’d be upset at how he treated his supporting friends and family. Nicely done. Insightful.
What an incredibly insightful and thoughtful story. Dark? Not to me. It just is about someone trying to deal with grief. At first by not dealing with it but then starting to. I felt it was very "real" with the possible exception of the "angel" I'm not dismissing that at all just mentioning that sort of experience probably doesn't happen to most. But this story does showcase your talent as a writer. BardnotBard
A lovely story. The emotions, the sense of loss and the depression are so well conveyed here. Well done! 5
I was just screaming in my head, "ignore her, do not submit...".
The vicious cycle of depression is beautifully explained. 5*.
Beautiful story. And as someone who has had far too much death in my life, thanks for this wonderful exploration of grief.
I don’t believe in Angels, god has no use for me. Today I stand in an empty house knowing that cancer will take my love all too soon. I’ve thought work will get me through, most friends have already abandoned us while the multi-year struggle has gone on, reading your story helps me realize it won’t. Is there a light, a kind word, that isn’t advice or a “solution,” for the bereaved? Does grief start at the passing, or when the inevitable becomes apparent? Tears are frequently my companion, they wash my face as I read of James.
Without her I Shall be no one.