A Chance and a Change

My mom quietly made arrangements for me to get snipped and I signed the papers she brought home for me to sign. It truly would be unfair for me to bring a baby into this world with those odds. My mom cried too. I was her only child, she wanted grandkids and now, she would never get them. I was pretty sure I would never let a woman into my life, so it hit me far less than my mom.

My life was a giant pile of shit.

After I took a couple of days off, I realized I could lose my business if I don't get moving. I decided to throw myself into my work and at least be productive. I worked twelve-hour days and fortunately, my excellent work outweighed my shitty moods and demeanor with customers. I was not particularly mean, but I was cold as ice to everyone.

Monday, May 14, 2016

A month later, a man from Piermont, New York named Max Morrison called my place and said he had a recommendation for my company. No, I did not tell him my dog's name was also Max. He wanted to have a complete outdoor kitchen including fitting one of my English Pub bars inside his pool house. I went to see his house to do the estimate and holy fuck the house was huge, magnificent, and overlooked the Hudson River. The lot had views of both New York City in the distance and the river below. The lot was one of the best in the state and his attitude for this project was go big or go home. The guy was loaded though very polite and accommodating, never putting on airs.

He handed me a list of what he wanted then we went through some ideas I had and included some picture links of what he wanted. We went back and forth, refining his ideas and came up with a final cost of over a quarter million dollars. When I asked for a hundred thousand down, he shrugged and said he would send a bank check the next day.

For the next ten weeks, I poured myself into that outdoor kitchen and pub bar, working sunrise to sunset then going to my parents' home to wallow in self-pity. I was lucky my parents put up with me because I deserved a kick in the ass.

As I finished up the project for Max, my mom got sick of my wallowing and told me she loved me, but I had wallowed enough and I needed to move my ass back into my warehouse apartment. Being booted out by my own mom was enough for me to stop my pity party, but not enough to date. More than once, my mom tried to fix me up and no, the women were not all ugly and in fact, some were very attractive. I was functional for everyday life, but worthless as a boyfriend or even a date.

For the next two years, I poured myself into my work and lived a hollow life. I made Fine Woodworking Magazine twice more in that time, but even the accolades felt hollow. I was a shell of a man. It's darkest before the dawn as they say because...

Part 5

Hope where there once was none.

Friday, August 17, 2018

I got a call from a polite man who identified himself as David Abrams who was looking to have one of those ceiling-hung cabinets removed between the cooking and eating areas of his kitchen. He also wanted the 1970s doors replaced with something that looked less than forty years old. I was in for a shock when I looked at the address, 15 Lake Chantrain Trail, and I realized the address was in a nudist resort! I had heard of Lake Chaintrain before, but had never worked inside it.

I took the job, it wasn't like I was going to work naked. The man and his wife, David and Leah Abrams were very nice people and yes, they were dressed when I presented my design ideas to them as we talked and I brought out samples and photos. They were concerned that I understood that this was a nudist resort with permanent residents and that I would see a lot of naked people. They would do their best to be polite around me, but timing may lead to incidents. I was good and they were both nice and accommodating. He was one of those customers that asked me how much the down payment was before I could ask him for it. Customers like that are a precious thing; They wanted my work and had no intention of not paying.

Saturday, September 8, 1018

I drove into Lake Chantrain mid-morning to start the Abrams' kitchen. I set up my table saw outside as that is where I prefer because it makes cleanup easier. If I do enough sawing, sawdust goes everywhere and if it is outside, my tarps catch most of it and none of it ends up in the rest of the house. They told me they would leave a key on the deck inside the world's ugliest garden gnome. There was only one garden gnome on the deck so it made it easy to find the key.

I was setting up when a woman next door looked at me, and knowing the Abrams were out, asked me, "Excuse, but are you at the right place? David and Leah are out."

I smiled, damn she was pretty with a very slight strawberry tint to her shoulder-blade-length blonde hair. She was in her late twenties or early thirties and very pretty. She was wearing one of those long sweaters that women wear and I swear that it looked like she had nothing on underneath it. It took some effort to avoid trying to look too closely if she was indeed naked under that sweater.

I answered, "Yes. I am taking out some old 1970s style cabinets that were between the cooking and dining areas in the kitchen so the view is clear between them. I am then going to mount them inside the garage for storage. I am going to put on new doors and refinish the remaining cabinets into something current."

She was very nice and complimented me, "You sound like quite the craftsman."

Was she flirting with me? It sure seemed like it. Memories of Brittany and her stabbing me in the back came back to me, but I was polite, "I do okay."

She left it at that until about an hour passed when she came out with two glasses of lemonade and offered me one. Yes, she was definitely flirting with me. She was being overly nice and she was very attractive, but my mind kept going back to not being good enough or rich enough for Brittany. Still, I accepted the lemonade when she came over to me, "Here. Everyone needs a break now and then."

I thanked her, but let it pass. I didn't need another Brittany in my life and I had one of those triggers where my gut knotted remembering how much it hurt.

Monday, September 10, 2018

The blonde woman was persistent, I will have to hand her that. Shortly before noon, she came out in that sweater again and I swear, I still think she had nothing on under it. She told me she had a pizza coming and wondered if I would join her.

Finally, I said the obvious, "You are flirting with me."

She smiled, "Guilty."

Damn she was very pretty and certainly persistent so I introduced myself, "Brian."

She smiled again, "Susan."

The pizza arrived and we made small talk. She sure seemed different than most of the attractive women I had met in my life. She was more down to earth for one thing. Her flirting was now obvious and she even said all her evenings were free and... I froze up. I'm a dumbass and froze. A very pretty and well-endowed woman was being absurdly direct and I froze. Susan was lobbing home run derby pitches at me and I was whiffing.

DAMN YOU BRITTANY!

I got a phone call about an upcoming estimate and it saved me from more embarrassment of my stupid fumbling. Maybe it was for the best though. As pretty as she was, I told myself she was probably just as selfish, shallow, and vain as Brittany.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Susan was nothing if not persistent. Was it a challenge or something? Then again, Brittany's damage to my ego made me so unsure of anything I saw or heard when it came to women.

Susan came out with two burgers and two drinks, plopped them down and told me lunch was served. It was not a request, but it was a damn nice demand. One bite in she straight up and straight up asked, "Are you married?"

I shook my head, "No."

She asked if I was gay and I shook my head then she asked, "Do you think I am ugly? I have given you every signal in the world and you won't make even a simple move. You are starting to give me bad thoughts about myself."

Shit. She was direct and damn that was kind of nice. There was no guessing with Susan.

I told her, "No, you are not ugly. You are extremely pretty."

Damn, that sounded high school corny as hell. Sigh.

She asked, "Then what?"

Hoping for context I simply said, rather... no... Sigh... extremely. Extremely lamely, "My ex-wife left me for her boss."

She understood then and I felt like a dumbass virgin in high school. Note to self, stop being a loser and get some game.

She digested the news for like half a minute then said, "Sorry. Bad divorce?"

I nodded.

She apologized, "Jeez I'm a clueless idiot. I'm sorry."

I was thinking her cluelessness beat my lameness any day. A woman was doing everything but asking me out and I still couldn't close the deal.

She asked, "How long?"

Ugly! More lameness and far too long, "Two years ago."

Well, she basically did ask me out, "So why not ask me out?"

Now I was feeling even lower and said, "I can't."

She sat there saying nothing for a long time. It seemed like hours, but she put the situation in context and finally said, "She really hurt you." It was a statement, not a question.

Thankfully she changed the subject but chose the one thing..."How about those Giants."

It didn't hit me as badly as it had in the past, but it still stung. Mr. Wonderful that my wife went away with was an ex-player for the Giants, "I don't watch the NFL."

She was perplexed because most men in the area are Giants fans, "Political reasons?"

I shook my head and decided to not dig the hole any deeper. Thankfully she changed subjects again and it was pleasant. We talked about our hobbies and she seemed to ask me real questions about my woodworking skills and things I had made. It was a good ten minutes then the conversation faded and she said, "Nice day."

She was just so different from any woman I had ever met, never mind the most persistent. Honestly, she was scrambling my brain with her persistence and I broke. I had to ask her and I had no idea why. I asked her, "Do all women cheat?"

She was surprised by my question but looked at me and said, "I never did."

I gave her the short version of the bullshit I went through with Brittany from her coming home telling me about her upcoming weekend with her boss in a fuckfest and how she said I was not good enough to meet all her needs. I had been traded in on a weekend and a part-time relationship that lasted less than six months.

I have to give Susan credit, her response was real and from the heart. She looked disgusted by what Brittany had done, "What a horrible bitch!"

I laughed at her honest and heartfelt response to my story and I admitted, "I can't get hurt like that again."

She shook her head sadly and then told me, "Then she wins and you will be alone for the rest of your life. You are choosing to be alone and miserable for somewhere around fifty years."

She had a point

Damnit!

I said the first thing that came to my mind, ""Fine. Beat my story. Beat being rejected by your spouse for a former pro athlete and told being a nice guy with a nice living and treating her well is not enough. Beat that story and I will take a chance."

HAH! Hopefully this would end her inquisition!

She got this look. She had the answer and I could see the answer flash through her eyes. Her mouth crooked the slightest amount. It barely showed, but I saw it. She had me in checkmate when I thought it was the other way around.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "My ex got me shot."

E,R WHAT!?!!!

I shook my head, then said, "Bullshit."

She still had that look in her eyes. She had won and she knew it. She said, "Stand up."

She faced about three-quarters away but a bit to her left side and she stood in front of me. She then untied her sweater and dropped it a bit. Yes, she was indeed naked under that sweater, "Look at my left rear shoulder."

She had two roundish scars on her upper left shoulder. They weren't huge and it was obvious that she had not been shot by a.357, but still, she had been shot.

She teased me and dropped the left side of her sweater even more as I gently touched the scars. Damn, that was a glorious and very pert D-cup breast that she had now bared. A perfect areola a bit larger than a quarter was topped by a nipple that stuck straight out. She was either cold or turned on or both.

I stupidly asked, "For real?"

She nodded, "My dead husband was into bad things and I was collateral damage."

Finally, my brain broke in and took over, "Dumbass, this very attractive woman gave you the easiest opening to ask for a date in the world and she showed you one hell of a nice tit as a bonus! DO SOMETHING!"

I let go of a big piece of the hurt Brittany had given me and said, "I owe you a date, don't I?"

She brought up her sweater.

That was one glorious boob and it was covered again. DAMNIT!

She retied her sweater and smiled a wonderful smile, "Yes. Yes, you do. Pick me up Friday at seven."

I laughed at my lame self and said, "I never had a chance did I?"

She kissed my cheek and said, "No. No, you did not."

Then all she wanted was for a nice low-pressure date to get a pizza. She must be some kind of mind reader because it was an easy, no-pressure way to get to know each other, "Pizza is fine, but pick a decent one."

Friday, September 14, 2018

I took Susan to Cinque Terre Italian Restaurant and ordered a Pizza. We both liked pepperoni so the choice was easy.

My estimation of Susan was correct. She was very VERY different in a most wonderful way. She wasn't model beautiful, but had a down-to-earth girl-next-door cuteness that permeated every bit of her and a smile that warmed anyone that saw it. We broke every rule of dating and compared our tales of woe and for the first time ever, talking about Brittany hurt less and less as I told the story. I told her the whole fucking crash and burn. I told her how I had loved Brittany deeply yet she became so cold and distant and threw me away for one of the former members of the Giants. She was with Ty for less than six months before she became pregnant, wanted child support and he fired her.

I finished with, "Then to top it off, that same week, I found out I was a carrier for a rare gene for a devastating birth defect and had to get a vasectomy. I will never have kids"

Then, like a morning mist suddenly burning off, the pain vanished. The void Brittany had created would always be part of me, but it no longer hurt. I asked, "How did you do that?"

She asked, "What?"

I admitted, "Even my parents don't know all the things I just told you.. Keep it to yourself, Okay?"

She promised to keep quiet and I swear I felt a decade younger. I was no longer carrying that pain with me. I had the emotional scar, but the wound was no longer bleeding.

She told me her story about her non-stop line of tragedies. Honestly, my life excepting Brittany and the gene thing was paradise compared to hers. She grew up poor in Southern West Virginia to unmarried parents. She was a child when her father died and her mom became a prostitute. She had her daughter at age fourteen! She married a violent abusive man who was apparently somehow connected to organized crime at a low level. He abused her mentally and physically, even having sex with her on a pool table in a bar many times!

She was used and abused yet she ended her tale and talked about her new wonderful life after being shot and that she was now happy after thirty-two years of hell. I realized I had little to complain about. She was putting her best foot forward after thirty-two years. My tale of woe was only two years. It was like fate: I could not have children because of a genetic problem. Having her daughter at fourteen had caused her to be unable to conceive. She was good with it because she had already done the mom thing and wanted to live her life without having to chase another toddler.

I realized if she could overcome a literal lifetime of tragedy, I could overcome Brittany.

Saturday, September 15 2018

I was out on the Abrams' deck working on staining some trim pieces for the new cabinet fronts when I heard a voice behind me, "Hello Brian."

I looked back briefly then my mind registered shock and I lost my balance and fell over.

Susan was bare-ass naked and she was born, to put it mildly, stunning. Her face was cute. Her body was internet porn site perfect.

She was well endowed with pert D-Cup breasts with perfect round arealae perhaps a bit bigger than a quarter. She was shaven below her clitoris, but had a nicely trimmed fluff of strawberry blonde pubes in a bikini trim. Her labia were innies inside her slit. I wanted to take her right there.

She teased me, "Like my attire?"

I shouldn't have blushed, but I did and stammered, "Uh... yeah?"

We went on a date at Five Guys after I offered a real sit-down dinner and she seemed uninterested in anything but a burger. At the end of the date, the kissing got pretty steamy and when I got home I finally lost a bit of my lameness and managed to ask her on the next date.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

The date was for Wednesday, but I was really starting to enjoy my time with Susan so I invited her to meet my dog Max and walk the Orange Heritage Trail with him.

I picked her up and took her to my place which was still inside my warehouse. It wasn't fancy, but it was home and I don't fix things that are not broken. Max greeted me as usual and took to Susan like a long-lost friend. I have to admit, Max has great taste and he took to her far faster than most people.

We talked as we walked and made out quite a bit. Susan loves wet kissing and when I accidentally dropped my hand a bit low, Susan smiled. I cautiously moved my hand a bit lower and she did not object and she let me hold her ass as we made out. She smiled and let me know that was my current limit until she knew me better, but she was good with me fondling her ass a bit.

Damn, it's like I'm in high school again.

I called my mom for my weekly mom call. Women are interesting creatures and very attuned to emotions. My mom is no exception. I had said nothing about Susan and was just talking to her about an upcoming outdoor kitchen I was going to do in Rockland County when my mom said something completely unrelated to my conversation, "Something is going on."

I was perplexed and continued talking a bit about the project when my mom said, "You met someone!"

What the fuck? How did she do that?

I played innocent but my mom pushed, "I don't care about the outdoor kitchen. Tell me about the girl!"

WHAT? HOW!?

Finally, I started talking about Susan, then I could not stop talking about her.

Monday, September 17, 2018

My mom called and said, "Dress nice, we are going to dinner. Be at our place at half past four."

It was not a request. I adore my parents and wasn't going to argue anyway. My dad is a steakaholic and I inherited that from him so any dinner invite usually involved a steak.

I was only mildly surprised when we pulled up to Morris Brothers Steakhouse. I had already mentioned where Susan was now working and my mom was nosy as heck. Deep into her heart, my mom loves me and was thrilled beyond belief.

The hostess looked at me and asked, "How many?"

I may as well go for it right?, "Three please and we have to sit in Susan's area."

Susan was cautious coming up to our table, "Hello Brian. Great to see you. What would you like to drink?"

I laughed, Susan was great in not giving away any information she was unsure of that was supposed to remain hidden. I introduced my parents, "Dad... *MOM* meet Susan, the woman I have had several dates with."

My mom was cool about everything and was careful not to bombard Susan with too many questions. Still, Mom took her time pretending to think about her dinner while she observed Susan the whole time. Dinner was very good; Morris Brothers was always good.