Amor Fabula Ep. 04

Thor spun around in his seat, his face aghast. "I would rather you didn't do that, Captain. I believe I have my temper well under control."

Once Mary sat on someone's face, the Captain knew from personal experience, it wasn't easy to get her off. Pun intended.

To prove how jovial his mood was, the big Ensign stood up and started a happy dance. Once the jig was up, he anxiously look back at the man in the captain's chair. "You see, Captain, that I'm fully in charge of my faculties. There is no real need to get Mary involved."

"Very well, Thor." Washington nodded. "Willow, will I have to worry about you, or should I send you back so that Science Ensign Cruz will give you an examination?"

Immediately, Willow began bouncing up and down in her chair. "I don't know, Captain. That could take hours!"

Washington couldn't easily tell whether that was a Yes or No answer. Before he could delve into the matter further, the sudden buzzing of the communications system interrupted him. Efficiently, the Captain reached over to activate the speaker on the controls of his armchair. "Captain speaking."

"Captain, we have a problem!" The voice of Ensign Cruz was heard. "It is a matter of the utmost security! We have been breached!"

The Science Ensign had a flair for the melodramatic, Washington knew. "Explain the situation further, Cruz."

"Yes, Captain. Margo asked me to go into the pantry to pick up a few potatoes. I believe she's making tater tots for dinner. When I went in there, I discovered that we have an intruder in our midst. Captain, there is a monkey in the pantry, and he's eating all of our crackers!"

"A monkey in the pantry?" Washington wondered. "That isn't code for one of your sexual experiments, is it?"

"No, Captain, this monkey is real, and from the looks of it, it is very hungry." Cruz went on. "When I asked the creature what it was doing in the pantry, it said 'take me to your leader.' I went to the intercom right away, Captain."

"I see. Where is the monkey now?"

"Sitting on the dining table, Captain."

"Give me one." Washington said. "Willow, will you activate the camera in the dining area. Activate the direct speakers also."

"I'm on it, Captain!"

Within moments, the screen shifted to show big Margo and Mary standing by the table. Sure enough, a monkey could be seen on the table. Cruz was way over on the far side of the room, next to the intercom.

"Is the monkey dangerous?" Washington asked, mentally recalling where the crew's personal weapons were.

"No, Captain." Mary answered over the speaker. "I'm communicating with it through telepathy. He's fully capable of human speech, by the way. The monkey is disoriented right now, as if he doesn't know how he ended up here. He's very confused."

On the screen, the monkey looked to be glancing around in all directions.

"Our visitor is trying to figure out where you are." Mary went on. "He can hear you but he can't see you. He said this is possible with his advanced technology. He wants to know if you're the ghost of Christmas. He said there can't be two, because he's the ghost of Christmas."

"What?" Washington asked, as puzzled as anyone else inside the ship.

"He's telling me he's some kind of king." Mary was seen shrugging, before she turned to address the animal directly. "Hey, hey. You don't have to be scared like that. We're all nice around here, except for Margo, because she likes to sneak into people's bunks and leave weird things under the pillows. You can talk to the Captain, too. Just speak out loud and he'll hear you."

"Is your captain from Heaven?" The monkey asked.

"No, he's right here on this ship." Mary shook her head. "He's in the next room. Look, do you see that thing up there in the corner. That's a camera. The Captain is watching us now through that thing."

The monkey stared at the tiny camera tucked away in the corner.

"Say hello to him, Captain." Mary urged.

"Uh, hello, monkey." Washington said, feeling weird saying it. "How did you manage to get into the pantry?"

"Mary has told me that I can't go outside." The monkey answered, sounding frustrated. "I don't understand why I can't go outside!"

"You're inside a spaceship. You wouldn't survive if you went outside."

"Am I under water?" The monkey asked. "Or under land?"

"No, monkey." Mary cut in. "You're in space now, where we are. We don't know how you got here, and you don't know how you got here. Do you know when it is night, and how you can see the moon and stars up in the sky? That's where we are, up there where the stars are."

The monkey cradled its head with its furry hands, as if its head was about to explode from the informational overload.

"Are you from Earth, monkey?" Cruz neared the animal guardedly, as if might jump on him and try to bite his nose. "You wear clothing, when no monkeys on Earth wear clothing."

"The ones in the circus do." Mary reminded him.

"Have you escaped from a circus, monkey?" Cruz kept interrogating. "Is there an organ grinder lamenting for his loss somewhere in the solar system because of you?"

"Get out of my way, both of you." Big Margo shoved the Ensigns aside. "Can't you see the poor thing's frightened to death? Come here, you little monkey. I'll take you up to the bridge and you can talk to our Captain. He'll figure out what's going on, you'll see."

As Washington watched, the monkey climbed into Margo's arms and allowed her to carry him away. Mary and Cruz followed close behind.

The Captain stood up and paced about ten feet away. He stopped there because that's as far as he could go; the ship was that small. He turned to his systems analyst. "Willow, will you put a diagram of the Sol system up on the main screen?"

"Will do, Captain!"

"Thor, you and I will strap our weapons to our sides, in the case this creature becomes belligerent. Be sure your weapon is set to stun."

"Yes, Captain." The Viking nodded.

No sooner had the men retrieved and donned their pistols, than the sliding doors to the bridge opened up and the rest of the crew filtered in.

Realizing what was on the screen, Margo pointed up in that direction. "Do you see that big yellow ball up there? That's the sun."

The monkey jumped from her arms, scurrying across the bridge and making as if he wanted to climb up the wall to get at the image.

"You can't just go there!" Margo went over and brought him back.

"I'm Captain Washington." The Captain announced to their new visitor.

"I am the Monkey King of China." The monkey replied.

"He said China!" Cruz piped up. "He didn't say that before! That mean's he's from Earth!"

"Relax, monkey, relax." Mary said, trying to soothe the animal. "He's still really scared, Captain. Oh, yeah, he is. I can sense it!"

"This isn't the same Heaven I have gone to before." The monkey told them.

"You're not in Heaven." Mary tried to explain. "You're in space."

"Willow, will you highlight Earth for us?" Washington directed. "Gradually increase the size of Earth, and home in on China. Maybe this monkey will recognize the terrain if he sees it. Do you know what your province is called, monkey?"

The monkey looked to fumble about with its shiny, golden vest, until it brought out a small remote control with a lot of buttons on it. He held the device out for the Captain to look at. "Do you know what this is?"

Absently, Washington took the device and peered closely at it. "No, there aren't any markings on this, only buttons. What is this for?"

"If you don't know what it is, do not push any buttons on it." The monkey warned. "I don't want to play with that device any longer. I just want to be taken back to my cave in China."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, monkey." Washington looked squeamish. "But I'm afraid that is going to be impossible."

The entire crew made their way into the dining area later, once the ship was set on auto-pilot. Proximity sensors were activated to warn them if anything unexpected were to suddenly cross their path. The two Science Ensigns were also experts in getting people to change their moods. Cruz did this through his dirty jokes and Mary by using her psychic abilities, but even their combined effort couldn't lift the glum mood that had infected the vessel.

Cook Margo thought a fun dinner would be American-style hamburgers and tater tots, but Washington saw that several of the other people under his command were only absently picking on their food. They were all thinking regretfully about how they could have been on the Webb space station already, having a ball and celebrating for an Earth holiday that was less than sixteen hours away.

"Well, try not to look too excited, guys." Mary looked around the table at everyone. "So, we'll miss Christmas. It sucks, but it can't be helped. We'll still make the Webb station in time for New Year's. Come on, guys! You guys are so depressed you're making me depressed!"

"Mary's right." Cruz popped a tater tot into his mouth. "For the sake of the integrity of our crew, we must learn to bond together, to be strong in the face of adversity, to reach into the cores of our very beings so that we might create something much greater than the sum of our parts!"

"Oh, brother." Margo rolled her eyes. "Here comes a sermon!"

"Get behind me, lesbian!" Cruz scolded the big woman. "I'll have you know that I once ran a school for curing lesbianitis. It was called the Pump-Her-Nickel Institute and I had a success record of sixty-nine percent." He looked around the table to see how many people liked his joke, but there weren't too many as everyone was still glum. "Don't you get it, baby? Pump-Her-Nickel, Pumpernickel? Help me out here, Mary. Who cares about the mistletoe..."

"When you can have a camel toe!" Mary sang out, going into giggles right after.

The rest of the crew watched Cruz and Mary give each other a high-five.

"You two can be so dumb at times." Thor crossed his arms and brooded.

"Hey, at least they're trying." Willow defended her friends.

At this, the big battle tech glared at her.

Margo took to her feet, "All right, all right. Pass the empty plates over here, so I can stick them in the washer."

As the rest complied, Cruz looked down at his plate. "I still have some tater tots left, baby. Would you be a doll and fetch me the Ranch dressing? I think I've had enough catsup for today."

"Did you say fetch, as in how you tell a dog to fetch?" The cook made a face of mock surprise. "How many times do I have to tell you, little man? I am not your bitch! As a matter of fact, I'd say it was the other way around."

"I'd like to see the day when a lesbian carpet-muncher lords it over me." Cruz huffed back. "Margo went into the cupboard to get herself a bone, Cruz rolled her over and got a nice bone of his own!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Margo snapped.

"He meant that as a joke, Margo." Mary spoke up. "You don't have to get upset about it."

"You stay out of this, little Miss Muff." Margo shot back, carrying the empty plates back to the sink. Instead of putting them into the dishwasher, she simply left them there and gave the entire crew the impression that she wanted to rumble with anyone who got in her way. The big, thick woman went into the hyper-fridge and snatched out a bottle of dressing, which she brought over and basically slammed down next to Cruz.

"What is this hostility, baby?" Cruz looked up at her.

"What do you think is wrong?" Margo erupted. "We've been cooped up here for almost a week! I want to get out of this ship for a while!"

Cruz's nose wrinkled, as he caught a familiar scent. He followed the smell over to the bottle of dressing. "Margo, baby, why does the Ranch dressing smell like fragrant Vaseline? I know that brand, Margo. I know that brand very well, intimately even."

The big woman shrugged.

"Seriously, baby, does everything have to go through your pussy before it gets onto my plate? Are you kidding me, baby?"

"If it wasn't for Willow, we'd be off this ship already!" Thor grumbled out.

All of a sudden, two arguments were taking place. Washington stood up, witnessing Thor and Willow fighting to one side, and Cruz and Margo doing the same across the table. He looked to Mary for help, but she looked as frustrated as he felt. All of that harsh emotion was bearing down on her sensitive psychic mind.

"Mary, close them all off." The Captain said. "I want everyone to go into the lounge immediately and that's an order! I've had enough of this infighting!"

"Kiss my ass, Cappy." Margo snapped.

Cruz got in her way. "No, baby, you're kissing my ass and you're going to like it!"

"Hey, wait for me!" Mary jumped out of her seat. "You're kissing my ass too, Margo! I found a pube in my hamburger!"

"Really, baby?" Cruz asked. "Margo, you've taken it too far if you've been dunking even the ground beef!"

While Washington watched, his two Science Ensigns sexually assaulted his lesbian cook. They grabbed and groped at the big woman, because that was the easiest way they knew of to calm her down. This left his two bridge Ensigns to take care of. "Thor, Willow, stand at attention! Everyone, into the lounge right now!"

As the six members of the crew made their way out of the room and across the hall, they were unaware that they were being watched. Earlier, Margo had taken the monkey up to the second level and into her bunk. She'd tucked the little primate in her bed, for he truly was disoriented, dazed and exhausted from worry. The monkey had fallen asleep for a time. When he'd woken up, he used his device to render his body invisible, and had come down incognito to learn more about the crew.

There was so much tension among them, the monkey realized. He crept across the hall after the last of the crew, following them into the lounge area. Keeping out of sight, the monkey saw that as soon as they started taking their seats, even more arguing started up. It was time for him to do something about it, the monkey decided.

"I am the ghost of Christmas future." A haunting, rumbling voice was heard through the lounge.

The crew of the Space Relations paused from their bickering and looked in the direction the mysterious voice had come from, but there was nothing to be seen.

"Who said that?" The Captain called out.

Automatically, and also courageously, Washington and Thor both put themselves between the voice and the rest of the crew.

"You go too, Cruz." Mary pushed her fellow Ensign and lover off the couch.

"If we're dealing with a randy female ghost, then of course I would volunteer." Cruz replied to her. "But that ghost is a man, baby!"

"Gather closer together, for I have things that must become known to you." The ghostly voice echoed through the lounge.

"Show yourself, whoever you are!" Washington demanded.

"It's only the monkey, Captain." Mary giggled. "He's using his remote control thingamajig to sound like someone else."

"Mary, you must not reveal my secrets." The ghost said.

"We already know you're there." Washington called out.

For a moment, nothing was heard.

"He's peeved, because he thinks he should have read some manual better." Mary announced.

"What manual?" Thor asked.

"The manual for his remote control thingie."

From the far end of the lounge, the form of the monkey materialized. It was enveloped by an aura of golden light.

"You don't see something like that every day." Margo commented. "It's a shiny monkey, everyone!"

The monkey ambled toward them on four limbs, using its tail to hold the remote control. It said, "You must gather together. I have an important vision that I must share with you. Forget your petty squabbles for a time."

Although several members of the crew were still in crusty moods, they did cluster close to one another.

"If this is like a group picture, I just want to know one thing." Mary said. "Do you guys want my top on or off?"

"Take it off, baby." Cruz told her. "That should brighten up even Thor's sour puss."

"It'll brighten up mine, that's for sure." Margo winked at Mary.

"No undressing by anyone, until we find out what the monkey wants." Washington quelled his excitable crew.

"Gather closer, all of you." The shiny monkey began pushing the crew into a smaller group. "The effective range on the device is very limited."

Thor bumped into Willow, and sneered at her right after.

"Be nice, Thor." Mary reprimanded him, after catching his anger with her mind.

"Look, look." The monkey held up his device. Next, he started pushing at some of its many buttons. "I have reversed chronology to the point where the navigation error first took place. Here is what would have happened if you had no error, and if you had arrived at the space station on schedule." The monkey noticed that all eyes were still on him. He pointed toward the wall of the lounge. "Don't look at me. Look there. You will see the vision in only a moment."

Sure enough, a scene began to form before them. The Space Relations was docked with the Webb space station, and the crew was bouncy and jubilant as they traveled to the main reception room. With Christmas less than twenty-four hours away, the two dozen members of the station staff were on hand to greet them.

"Look here." The monkey said, apparently advancing the time of their vision.

The crew started to become aware of something they had not expected. The Webb station was full of veteran physicists and astronomers, all of them men and women of high degrees of learning who were used to living isolated lives. They were clearly uncomfortable upon hearing Cruz's off-color jokes, or watching Mary's antics as she bumped her hips against theirs. Thor and Margo simply intimidated the scientists due to their large size. Willow was shy around these new people, just as they were shy around her. The scientists spoke to the Captain as he tried to engage them in conversations, but their answers were awkward and insecure.

"Monkey, are you saying this is what really would have happened?" Washington wondered.

"If the navigation error was not made, this is the highest probability of potential futures." The monkey replied.

"I recognize some of those people from the personnel files I looked at." Willow admitted. "Those are the actual scientists from the Webb."

"I concur, Captain." Thor nodded. "I cannot say if they would have acted that way for certain, but their faces match what we have in our records."

As the hour to Earth Standard Christmas approached, a party was started up in that same reception room. Normally, visiting dignitaries, high ranking Space Corps personnel and technicians visited the station, and not a wild and carefree bunch such as the crew of the Space Relations. The music was subdued and jazzy, meant for background noise and not drunken celebrations. Thor tried to pick things up by playing House music, but he was thwarted twice. Cruz and Mary tried to get the staff members to dance with them, and failed repeatedly. Willow felt alienated, at times standing next to the Captain, and at other times next to the cook. Nobody from the staff was really talking to any of them.

"Wow, talk about Dull City." Mary said. "I just know I could have spiced things up if I was there. Everybody loves boobies, right?"

"Look upon your future." The monkey advanced time with his little gizmo.

The next scene showed Mary without her top on. She'd put tassels on her nipples and was swinging her breasts around and around in the center of the room. It was a last ditch effort to bring some fun out of the station staff. The other members of the Space Relations were clapping in cadence with her bouncing boobies, but the regular staff looked at them as if they were lepers. A few at a time, the alienated scientists left until only the six visitors remained. With a very disappointed look on her face, Mary stopped swinging her tits.