A Day at the Beach

Ella was the one to talk this time, "Anytime, Sarah, we like you a lot."

Sarah looked positively puzzled, "How can you do that? You just met me."

"We can just tell. Besides, you're Izzy's mom, and now she's our best friend." Sarah looked at Michael with a puzzled expression.

Michael chimed in, "Believe me, she's not kidding. And as for how she could like you that much so soon, I already told you that you're a special person. You just need to believe it yourself."

Sarah just smiled, clearly feeling good about the honest affection. "Thank you!"

"Okay, girls, how about another 30 minutes of play, then we pack it up and head home."

There were a couple of mild complaints seeking more time, but generally the girls accepted what their dad said. The other girls headed back to where they had been playing, but Ella stayed to talk to her dad.

"Daddy, I have a question."

"Sure, sweetheart, what's up?"

"Well, we were talking about going to the zoo in a couple of days, and Izzy said she's never been, so we started telling her about all the animals, and seeing the penguins, and the bears, and all the other animals, and then we started talking about the garden, and the Japanese garden, and feeding the fish, and playing in the children's garden, and she just got so excited about them because she's never seen any of that, and it made me think, we get to see it all of the time, but it be really nice if she could see it, too. I mean, you're always telling us we need to be nice to other people, so could we?"

"Ella, slow down a little. I can barely follow you. Could we what?"

"I was wondering if Izzy and Sarah could go with us to the zoo this week?"

"Oh, I don't know, Ella. That's kind of a big thing. First of all, we don't know if they already have plans. Second, Sarah might not be ready to do something like that. Let us talk about it a little. You go play with the other girls, and Sarah and I will let you know."

Ella gave him a quick hug and a kiss, "Thanks, daddy!" She took off to the where the other girls were digging in the sand.

Sarah chuckled a little. "I think she's ready for middle school. I haven't seen a girl talk that fast in a while. I understood a little, but I didn't quite get it all. What was she talking about?"

"Every couple of months, the girls and I take a trip to St. Louis. We're members of both the zoo and the botanical garden. We go down the first day and wander around the zoo, then we spend the night in a decent hotel, and then the next day we spend hanging out at the garden. She's asking if you and your pretty daughter would like to go with us."

"Oh, that sounds like fun, but I ..., I don't know ... I don't think we can. I mean, I'd have to get a room, and then there's the tickets, and, oh, we just don't have enough money to take a trip like that right now."

"Okay, I'm not actually hearing a no in there. What I'm hearing mostly is some worries about the arrangements and the cost, right?"

She just looked at him with dazed eyes. He would be hard pressed to admit it, but he found that look to be very attractive.

"So, if I told you that I've already covered the cost, and that we'd really like you to go with us, would you?"

She continued to give him her dazed look.

"Here's the deal. Admission to the zoo is free anyway, but we're also members of the zoo, so extras are free or heavily discounted. We're also members of the botanical garden, so admission is free there as well. As for the hotel, we were going to go with my parents, but they had to cancel. I've already reserved a two bedroom suite at our favorite place. It has two double beds in one room, and a king in the other room, plus a murphy bed in the living room. In other words, it's designed to sleep eight people. Usually my parents take one room, the girls take the other room, and I sleep on the murphy bed. They're surprisingly comfortable. If you went with us, Izzy could stay with the girls, and you could take the room my parents were going to sleep in."

She finally said, "Um."

"It's a pretty nice set-up. There's a nice little patio to relax on. It has a little kitchenette if we decide to cook in. Please accept. It would mean so much to our girls."

"I'm just not sure."

"Look, if it's the money thing, you can help with gas and food money."

That brought a little chuckle from her.

"It's not just that. Remember that I'm a very shy person. I think I'd like to say yes, but I'm a little scared."

"I heard 'yes' and before you can take it back ...," He raised his voice a little, "Girls, Sarah said yes!"

They both laughed when they heard all four girls cheering wildly.

"We'll pick you girls up on Tuesday morning. We like to go mid-week to cut down on the crowds. Please pack for two nights and three days, okay? This is going to mean so much to us."

"You know what, I'm really glad we came to the beach today."

"Me, too. This is the best day we've had in a long time."

Something was stirring in the hearts of two people that hadn't felt anything in a very long time.

**********

Tuesday evening, Michael and Sarah were sitting on the patio outside the living room of their hotel suite. They had decided to open a bottle of wine to relax after a long day walking around the zoo.

"Izzy seemed to have a great time today."

"I don't think I've ever seen her so happy. And I'm not just talking about seeing the zoo. I think you and the girls made quite an impression on her."

"She's a pretty sweet little girl. It was a little weird though. I don't think she let go of me for more than 10 seconds all day long. Is she always like that? I mean, she and I both ate lunch one handed because she didn't want to let go of my hand."

"Michael, are you serious? Do you not know what was going on?"

He looked puzzled, shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head no, clearly realizing that he was missing something.

"To answer your question, no, she's never like that. Remember what she was like the other day on the beach. Until you called her by the right name, she was holding on to me and trying to hide behind me. That's what she's like normally. But she doesn't do that with you. Clearly, she's decided that you're going to protect her."

Michael leaned back in his chair to think about that for a second. It felt good. He took a drink of his wine, and thought about the sweet little girl and how she pulled on his hand, or held on to his forearm. A few times when he needed to get his arm or hand free (trying to get money out of his wallet for lunch, for example), he noticed that she grabbed one of his belt loops and she wasn't letting go. In fact, the more he thought about it, the only time he didn't have Izzy attached to him was the two times he visited the men's room. He wasn't sure why, but the more he considered what she had done, the more content he felt.

"With my girls, it's different. They love me, and of course, since they're only eight, they depend on me to take care of them. Emotionally, I do have to deal with a lot of heartache, just like any other parent. And yet, at the same time, they've decided they have to take care of me. Katie is my protector. She has defined her role as my knight in shining armor. She fends off would be suitors, if she decides they're not worthy. So far, nobody's met her standards. She jumps right in if someone is doing inappropriate flirting. I think she'd take a bullet for me faster than any Secret Service agent."

Sarah giggled a little. "I think you're probably right."

"Sam makes sure I don't work too hard. She's the one that schedules our fun time. She insisted on going to the beach the other day. She makes lists of everything we need. She keeps the picnic basket and first aid kits organized. She set up the agenda for what we're doing in St. Louis this week. Honestly, considering she's the one that always does the planning, I was a little surprised it wasn't her that asked if you and Izzy would join us here."

Sarah smiled. "Maybe she'll be a wedding or event planner when she grows up."

"Very possible. Based on what I've seen, she'll be good at it. More wine?"

"A little. I don't drink much, so I'm probably close to my limit."

"Same for me, but this seems different." They were quiet for a few seconds.

"And Ella, what role does she fulfill?"

"She's my heart. As much as Katie is trying to fend suitors off, Ella is trying to match me up. Don't get me wrong, she's not pushing me to meet specific people. It's more like she's reminding me that I need to keep my heart open to possibilities. I don't know how a eight year-old can think of such things, but she does." Michael didn't realize that Sarah had gone totally silent. He looked over at her, and noticed that she was staring at him with wide eyes. "What?"

Sarah shook her head slightly. "It can't be."

"What can't be?"

"Michael, do you not realize what's going on? I mean, it's working without their help, at least I think it's working without their help. I mean, I know how I feel, and I'm really hoping you feel that way, too. But the clues are all there, we just have to connect the dots. And Michael, I would have never said this before, but with you and your girls, it seems so different, and I think I may be ready to connect the dots. I don't know, what do you think, could they be plotting that much?"

"I seriously do not understand what you're talking about."

"Really, you don't see it." He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, first you talked about how Izzy held on to you all day long. You didn't really say it, but I'm guessing that you really liked it. I'm assuming that because you seem a little down that your girls do not really depend on you as much as you would like, right?"

He thought about what she was saying, and she was right. He was really proud that his girls were a little more independent than most kids their age, but at the same time, he felt they were growing up way too fast. He liked the feeling of Izzy being so dependent on him. He looked at Sarah, smiled, and nodded his head slightly.

"What you didn't notice, is that your girls were doing the exact same thing to me. You didn't see that my hands were full all day long as well? In fact, I got less time to myself, not that I'm really complaining."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you got to escape into the men's room a couple of times. When I went to the restroom, they all just followed me in." She grinned as she said it, so he knew she hadn't really minded.

"Remember Michael, your girls have never had a mother, and Izzy has never had a father. Today, they all got what they wanted, and they weren't giving it up."

"Do you really think that's it?"

She smiled at him. "Pretty sure." Michael still had a look of shock on his face. Sarah was surprised. They hadn't interacted very often at school, but when she had seen him, he always had a look of complete confidence in what he was doing. Now, he didn't look too sure.

On the other hand, she was wondering about herself. Always the shy one, her life's choices were to avoid be the center of attention. She became a nurse to help others, although becoming a school nurse seemed to be perfect. The young students were far less threatening to her self-esteem than dealing with the adult men she would have had to deal with if she worked in a clinic or hospital.

And yet here she was, quickly developing feelings for a man she was just getting to know.

Michael still looked like he was in a bit of a trance. "Wow."

He came back to himself as soon as he heard the patio door open. Ella stepped out onto the patio. "Hey, sweetie, what's up?"

"I just missed you, daddy." Michael smiled, but noticed that even though Ella was talking to him, she was trying to climb into Sarah's lap.

"Hi, sweetheart." Sarah was trying to put down her wine glass, so she could get Ella into a comfortable position. The look on her face was priceless as she turned to Michael, letting him know that their earlier conversation was spot on. The three of them didn't say anything for a few minutes. They just enjoyed each other's company. Michael looked at his little girl sitting back against Sarah, and his heart warmed. It was still a little vague, but he began having feelings that had been locked up tight since that horrible day in the delivery room.

After a few minutes, Sarah broke the silence. "So, Ella, did you have a good time today?"

The little girl squirmed around on Sarah's lap enough that she could wrap her arms around Sarah's neck. "It was wonderful. I love going to the zoo with daddy, but today was the best day ever."

Then, almost as quickly, Ella pulled back, and looking very serious said, "Sarah, can I talk to my daddy alone for a few minutes?"

Sarah took a couple of seconds to get her bearings, "Oh, of course, I probably should go start getting Izzy ready for bed anyway. She's had such a busy day, she's probably ready to pass out."

Ella popped off her lap, walked over to her daddy, and climbed right back up. Sarah seemed a tad flustered, but managed to make it into the room, and heading up to the girls' bedroom.

Michael smiled as he watched her leave. He turned his attention to Ella. She had a quirky little smile as she watched his face, and looked into his eyes. "Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Mommy would approve."

Michael briefly seemed to zone out, but fairly quickly recovered, although his words were garbled as he stumbled out his reply, "Wh- what do you mean, Ella?"

"I mean about Sarah, mommy would be happy that you're happy again, and that Katie, Sam, and I have somebody else to watch over us. I think she would also be happy that you're also watching over Izzy."

Michael didn't know what to say. He continued to stare in shock at his young daughter.

"I watched you today, daddy. You really liked that Izzy was holding on to you, didn't you." She was smiling at him. "You looked nice."

Michael looked at her lovingly, but felt he needed to dispel the idea that his daughter could somehow perceive what Claire would have wanted. "Ella, sweetie, how do you know what your mother would be happy about?"

"It's not like she talks to me or anything, but sometimes I get a feeling in my heart when I'm thinking about mommy."

"But she died just as you were being born."

"I don't know why, daddy. I just know it."

Michael pulled her into a hug. "Oh, Ella, I love you so much."

"I love you, too, daddy. More than anything."

"Okay, sweetheart, I think it's time for bed."

"Yes, daddy." She hopped off his lap, and headed through the door.

Michael stared after her for a few seconds, then stood, and followed her in. He wanted to make sure the other girls were getting ready for bed as well. He walked up the steps expecting to hear the girls bouncing off the bed, but was surprised by silence as he approached the room. The door was open and he could hear Sarah reading a book to Izzy. He peeked through the door to find yet another shock. Ella had already put on her night shirt and was crawling onto the bed to take her place beside Katie, Izzy, and Sam. Izzy was already asleep squeezed in between two of his daughters.

Sarah glanced over and noticed him slipping in the room. She briefly paused in her reading as she smiled at him. He felt another strange warmth in his heart as he smiled back at her. Sarah read until she reached the end of the chapter. "Okay, girls, time for lights out. Who's getting in the other bed?"

Katie looked up her longingly, "Can't we all just sleep here?"

"Wouldn't you feel less crowded if you were splitting up into the two beds."

"But we like cuddling together. Please!"

Michael chuckled a little, "Trust me, Sarah, you've lost this one. Besides, if it gets to be too much, they'll move on their own later."

"I suppose you're right."

Sam and Ella called out at the same time. "Kisses, daddy."

Of course, he gave each girl a kiss and told her he loved her. Ella then told him, "Don't forget Izzy."

Michael smiled and said, "Never." He leaned over and kissed the cheek of the sleeping girl. "I love you, Izzy." She stirred in her sleep, settling down into the pillow, and mumbled, "I love you, too, daddy."

Michael couldn't help it. Tears welled up in his eyes. He stood quickly, wiped his eyes, and heading for the door. His voice cracked, but he managed to say, "Good night, girls. Sleep tight."

He didn't notice Sarah watching his every move, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Ella was smiling as she watched. "Kisses, Sarah."

Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes, and moved to the bed. She kissed each girl, but nobody said anything until she got to Ella on the end. Sarah kissed Ella on the cheek. Ella grabbed her around the neck, and whispered in her ear, "I love you, mommy!" Sarah let her hold the hug for a few seconds, struggling to hold back the tears she knew were about to come. Finally Ella released her, and as she stood up, Sarah whispered, "I love you, too."

She turned to walk out of the room, fighting to understand her feelings. Michael pulled the door closed and then led the way back downstairs. They took seats in the living room area, sitting in silence for a few minutes.

"Sarah, do you believe in the idea of falling in love at first sight?"

"I don't know. Maybe." She was quiet for a few minutes. "Why?"

He shrugged, not really knowing what to say. "I think I've fallen in love."

Sarah gasped, and covered her mouth with her hands. Michael barely heard her whisper, "What did you say?"

Michael got up, walked across to Sarah's chair, took a knee in front of her, reached up to brush the side of her cheek. "I can't help it. It's just happened. I saw you walking down the sidewalks in the zoo. I saw you at dinner. I saw you with our girls just now. And I feel such feelings of love. After Claire died, I wanted to die, too. I was sure I couldn't go on without her. I immediately realized I had to suck it up, and be there for my girls, and that meant I had to turn off my emotions, and be strong. Honestly, I have been a little afraid that I would never feel love again, and that scared me a little."

Sarah didn't say anything, but she tilted her head slightly at Michael's words. Part of her wondered what he meant, but part of her completely understood.

Michael continued. "You see, even though they're still little girls, and I know they'll always be in my life, I also know that it won't be long before they're grown up and having families of their own. A part of me is truly scared of being on my own. But..." He reached up to wipe a couple of tears in his eyes. "Then you fell into our lives. Sarah, the door blocking my closed off emotions has been blown off it's hinges. I can't help it. I feel such love for you and Izzy."

Sarah stared at him blankly, her mind racing through her own set of emotions. Other than Izzy, and her parents, she had never felt love. What she felt as a teenager was nothing like this. And like Michael, she couldn't control the tears running down her cheeks.

"Sarah, I'm sorry if this is too much, but I had to tell..." She reached her hand up to cut off his words. Sarah made a decision that frightened her to her very soul, but she suddenly understood what was in her heart.

Sarah stood up in front of Michael. He started to speak again, but she again silenced him. She carefully pulled him to stand before her, then took his hand and led him back to the stairs. He started to say her name again, but she once more silenced him. Michael's heart was racing a mile a minute as she led him into her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind them.

She stood before him, and placed her arms on his shoulders, locking her fingers behind his neck. "Michael, you know my story. I've never before experienced the love you're taking about. But today, watching you, I've felt things I never thought possible. Yes, I believe in falling in love at first sight. And tonight, I'm asking you to love me, knowing how hurt I was before. But I see the love in your eyes, and I feel in my heart that you'll never hurt that way, so I'm giving you the gift of my body, to love as you will." She reached up to kiss him.