A Dickens of a Life

Another 15 minutes went by and eventually he came inside her. He removed himself from Deidre's pussy and positioned his cock over her mouth and she began to lick him and clean him up as she again grabbed my head and forced me face first into her pussy and made me do the same to her. Somehow I'd forgotten that I was now going into her pussy that had been cum in by a stranger and just ate, ate, licked and licked and ate some more before climaxing once more, this time spurting all over her stocking-clad legs.

After that night the entire dynamic of our relationship changed. On the trip home she explained about how she felt; how it felt; how she loved every moment and how addictive it was to be back doing this but, this time, with a willing partner and lover (me) who was not in this for his own selfish needs and desires of getting laid.

Over the next few weeks we set boundaries, ground rules and desires to be met. More importantly we moved from a simple cuckold relationship to a more advanced one that saw me becoming sissified for her and eventually living the better part of my life as a sissy slave and cuckold to her as she became my Mistress and my Cuckoldress. I was completely in love with her and everything we were doing and eventually I asked her to make things 'official' and about a week before Christmas I asked her to marry me. She accepted my proposal and I was the happiest man alive.

Our engagement took our relationship to another level and I delighted in her increasingly behavioural degradations toward me. I was inwardly excited when she would take any opportunity to degrade me, humiliate me, strip me of manhood and pride. Several times she would hold parties with all women (usually 5 or less) and would show off how she'd taken me from a semi-tough hockey player into a sissified maid. I was secretly proud to learn that some of the other women took me as an example and eventually transitioned their husbands as well and that some had gone the full route like I did. I was also thrilled when Deidre suggested I purchased a hi-end video camera and we became quite adept at recording our parties and encounters so that we built up quite a library of movies to which I could happily masturbate whenever she was away on business or, as increasingly happened, when she left me home alone to go and meet and party without me.

The videos helped me in every sense and constantly reminded me how wonderful and incredible it was to be a cuckold to a beautiful white woman! I would sit with my stiff little cock in my hand and watch and listen to my woman moan and tell her black lover of how her 'husband' was so much smaller; not as good in bed; that her pussy was not his but the property of her ebony master. I could just listen to the dialogue and not have to bother about looking at the picture, just the sounds alone were enough to reinforce my new belief that white men are meant to serve and I would be aroused to the point of climax without a single touch to my worthless white worm. I loved each time my beautiful Deidre would look over and say similar things to me and watch me fall even more in love with her as I saw her pleasured and then I would feel my body lose control of itself and my hot cum would spurt and dribble over my hand as she got filled with hot Mandingo dick!

My Mistress bought herself a small camera that she could easily stow in her purse with the idea that she could film her encounters when she 'played away' from home. I received one of these videos once from my Mistress after she had been out on a business lunch with a client. When they had entered the restaurant she had seen this black man that instantly she knew she just had to fuck! As she passed him by on her way to her table and her meeting they exchanged glances and smiles and they both recognised the signs.

The meeting and the meal over she said her goodbyes to the client and saw that her 'target' was still quietly waiting for her. She called into work to make sure her office buddy would cover for her absence and getting the OK she left the restaurant and slipped off to a nearby motel with this man she met just moments before ending the lunch meeting.

Luckily (or was it luck?) she was wearing no panties that afternoon and she had on her most sheer nude stockings and her favourite CFM heels. Around her ankle was a gold anklet that held two gold charms, one a heart which had 'BBC' engraved upon it and the other the key to my chastity device. It took her no time at all to convince the gentleman that she was for real and that she was going to give him what he had been eyeing for several minutes in the restaurant.

They got a room and she took the small video camera from her purse and set it up to capture the entire fucking from the perspective as if I was sitting there watching. Thankfully she had just loaded a new tape (remember, this was pre-digital days) because the recording was destined to capture over 2 hours of my Mistress being nailed by some Nubian god!

As we watched the tape later at home I told her I could not love her more if she'd had me there taping it live and cleaning her up immediately afterwards. I told her I was so grateful she had the foresight to remember to take her camera in and record that moment and bring me home the sweet offerings he left in her!

I sat alongside her on the couch for the whole 2 hours. She unlocked my cock cage and let me sit there with my little dick stiff and throbbing as we watched. She made it very clear that I was not to touch myself as we viewed but occasionally she allowed me to interrupt her soft masturbation and let me go down on her to lick and suck at the juices that were still seeping from her pussy. I came without touching myself 3-times spurting and dribbling on her toes and feet while eating her and listening to her moans; watching her thrash; seeing her being so perfectly black-fucked and listening to her occasional commentary like, "you never have fucked me like this ... he's 10-times the man you could ever hope to be, you sissy." Such loving words. The best of times.

Life for me could not have been any better and I foresaw that once we were married that everything that had fuelled my fantasies and desires would all come true and my world would become complete.

We made plans for the wedding and decided that we would have a very special ceremony. Actually, it was decided there would be two ceremonies. The first would be a traditional wedding with my Mistress dressed in a fine white wedding dress and me in a formal tuxedo. We would invite the few family and friends from our 'normal' life to witness our nuptials and that the ushers would be some of her favoured black lovers one of whom had been chosen as Best Man. (Heaven knows, she had plenty to choose from!). The traditional wedding would be a daytime affair and be concluded by late afternoon when for all intents and purposes the happy couple would be leaving to go off on a short honeymoon. In reality, once all the vanilla guests had left the second ceremony would begin; a proper 'cuckold wedding'.

We had it all planned down to the finest detail. The black ushers and the Best Man would after the vanilla guests had left revert to type and all become 'Best Studs'. I was to be taken into a back room by several of them, plus at least one non-vanilla female, and then stripped of my male attire. There I would be transformed into a sissified bride complete with wedding dress and everything that would be a more simple version of what my Wife/Cuckoldress/Mistress was wearing.

I would then be bought out and hopefully there would be gasps of admiration (or would it be sniggers of derision?) as I was revealed in all my sissy glory. Then one of the ushers would stand in as the preacher, state some pre-arranged wedding vows about our lifestyle choices and my total enslavement to her and my agreement to her having all the BBCs she desired for life.

That would bring us to the part of the ceremony where instead of the traditional 'kiss the bride' I would be forced to kneel and 'lick the bride' under her gown. I would then be instructed to turn and then take out the preacher's cock and suck him, making him ready for him to impale my new bride. I would then hold up the hem of her dress to reveal her pantie-less cunt and then at her command I would invite him to fuck her.

After that it was to be a free-for-all with every non-vanilla woman there getting to have first crack at any black men, while the black men would all take turns fucking my new bride as much as they wished to in front of me. I would be there with my gown hiked up and mouth open ready to take all cocks or strap-ons and being thoroughly humiliated by everyone, much to what would have been my enjoyment.

We made our plans with the help of the many sites that catered for such fantasies and looking at them now brings back so many lovely memories of our plans and the times we sat around working on them as she teased and tormented me with wedding videos of black men and white brides. My cock is satisfyingly hard as I recall the moments.

Something else that we spoke of often was a desire she had to eventually fully feminized me. She used to get very excited at the idea of turning me into a 'chick with a dick' complete with breasts not as large as her 38Ds but still comparable. There was even talk of her possibly expanding our 'family' to include her daughter (she was 14 at the time of my cuckolding) in the lifestyle and getting her to find, conquer and convert another a man for herself into something akin to what Deidre was planning for me. I found both fantasies most attractive, especially the thought of integrating Desiree into our little family affairs. As time went by she looked more and more just like her mother and there was no doubting from the looks she gave and her behaviour when she came and stayed with us that she would be more than agreeable.

My Cuckoldress/Mistress had another fantasy of becoming impregnated with a black baby and we played this scenario out many times with new black lovers. She would insist on them using a condom at first, but midway through the encounter she would tell him to remove it and then begin to drift into this 'subspace' of hers where she'd be begging her lover to impregnate her. Every single black lover would never question this. In fact, each got even more excited and would fuck her harder! I don't know if we just got lucky with finding black men always ripe to the idea of delivering a black baby to her or what, but it always heightened her sexual experiences with these new men who would eventually be added to her stable of available black studs she could count on to fuck her anytime she called on them.

I think that for me there was another element of excitement and satisfaction to the idea that she might become pregnant by one of her black lovers. I confess to always having been a deep thinker and in addition to my strong views on the rights of being a cuckold I had also long held a sense of guilt as a Caucasian for the wrongs that had been suffered upon the black community and the appalling manner in which they as a race had been treated since the day the first African slave was landed on our shores. From that day onward there has been so many crimes against humanity meted out on our black brethren by my fellow white Americans that we should all hang our heads in shame at being responsible for the treatment and their degradation. In my mind I felt it was right and proper that white women should be impregnated by their black lovers as a measure to satisfy my belief there was a wrong to be righted.

It was this sense of guilt that fired me to do the things we did. I always felt a need to show my subservience to these much misaligned fellow creatures. I was never happier when I could watch my Cuckoldress/Mistress take her naked lover into the shower and view them lather up and get all dirty once more. It gave me a vicarious thrill but I never quite understood how incredible it was until one of her BBC lovers finally dragged me in there with them and I got to experience first-hand soaping him, rinsing him, sucking him and eventually feeling him push me against the wall and him ploughing his massive god-tool into me. I almost wept with joy as I felt him cumming.

There were times when she would insist that I stay outside of the bedroom door but to make sure that I was in earshot. Hearing her almost in total orgasm mode from just kissing, fingering and groping still has such a profound and arousing effect on a cuckold like me! I can only imagine that she loved the idea of 'cheating' and it gave her such a heightened thrill to be, although we were not yet married, 'adulterous' with this incredible ebony god! She had me both wishing to be in the room with her ... and to be lucky for him to want to use me! Oh my God, the memory of how I edged so many times near to the brink standing there with my ear pressed to the door.

Other times she would 'allow' me into the room and I would be blessed to have a night of watching my beautiful Deidre in our bed with one of her many black lovers, eager to feel a hard black cock penetrate her ... and me locked up in a metal chastity device straining to hold my erection in and making each throb of my cock so painful as I watch my beloved fucked in front of me!

******

Why am I recalling this all in the past tense?

We had been living our most agreeable life as an engaged couple for a couple of years when one night on a return home from a business trip up north that a drunk driver killed her. There are no words to describe my devastation. In that instant my world was destroyed; my dreams and plans replaced by an overwhelming sense of grief and despair. It is only now, years later, that I can look back on those times that I had with my Deirdre without feeling the tears well up and to sink back into depression.

The weeks following my Mistress's death were amongst the most painful I had ever experienced. If it had not been bad enough to have had my beloved snatched from me in such a cruel manner, the treatment that followed was even more wicked for her ex-husband reappeared on the scene and really dug in the knife of despair.

Unbeknown to me Deidre had a Will that listed her ex-husband as both executor and beneficiary to her possessions. He was a total bastard. He didn't like me; never forgave her for divorcing him and for setting up house with me in what was his old apartment and, more importantly, had never released back to her the keys to the front door when they parted.

The Will had all manner of conditions and caveats that, in law, excluded me or any other person she might be co-inhabiting with from having anything to do with the distribution of the estate. Indeed, there was even a statement in there that prevented me from having anything to do with the daughter in the event of Deidre's death. So it was that one day when I was out at work that he broke into the apartment we shared and began to clean out all of the items that belonged to Desiree. I came home to find that he had left an official-looking document that ordered me to vacate in 30 days.

For several days thereafter he began coming over and cleaning out everything that he felt was Deidre's stuff, which including a ton of videos we made together of our cuckolding and her exploits with other men. He literally stole everything that connected her with me; every item of feminine clothing that she had bought for me; the adult toys; the two chastity devices, even the engagement ring I bought and had given to Deidre. This asshole then used this 'information' as a form of blackmail to speed up the process of eviction to 14 days.

The pendulum had swung back, it was definitely the worst of times.

Stripped of the last dignity and almost losing the will to live I knew I could not stay in Florida and be constantly reminded of the idyllic life which had so brutally been torn away and was forever lost. I decided to return to my roots back up North and that's where I now live with my memories and my books which provide a quiet solace to my broken heart.

I have plenty of time to reflect on what has gone on before and an over-riding thought is that it's a crazy situation that here in the North there seems to be more black folks around but an inversely proportional availability for liaisons. I would give anything to be involved once more with big black men and their big black cocks ploughing into a white willing pussy.

However, when I am not having such thoughts there is always my author of choice, Charles Dickens and I have re-read his masterpieces over and over as I live in this mid-western wasteland of bigoted sexual attitudes.

It is Charles Dickens who provides a neat summation of my life and situation through his book titles. I have often referenced 'The Tale of Two Cities' with it's opening statement of 'the best of times; the worst of times' but when I look back to being with Deidre and being trapped in my cock cage it is fair to say that they, for more than one reason, were 'Hard Times'.

My living arrangements now are without any unnecessary embellishment given I haven't the will or inclination to buy fine, pretty things such as what I enjoyed with my Mistress. I am indeed living in a 'Bleak House'.

However, all is not lost for I recently had a call from Desiree who says now she has graduated from High School that she is looking to come up North to pursue a career in finance, just like her mother. She is looking for somewhere to stay whilst she gets settled and established. Can I help; could she come and stay?

I need to revisit 'Great Expectations'.

******