A Dragon's Tale Ch. 40

"I'm good." She said almost automatically, and it took her a moment to realize that she meant it. She was good. She was better than good in fact, she was... was...

She looked up at him and half smiled as she realized what she was. "I think I'm happy. Huh." She cocked her head to one side. "Is this what happy feels like?"

His eyes went unfocused for a moment, probably as he checked their bond, and then he spoke. "Yeah; yeah it is."

"I like it."

"Me too." He nodded with a chuckle.

They stood there for almost a minute without saying a word. She looked at him, thinking of everything that had happened in the course of their relationship. It hadn't even been two months yet, and in fact was just over seven weeks. It seemed like an impossibly short span of time for all the changes that had happened between them. But they had. They had and she couldn't be more grateful.

"I think I owe your dragon side a debt of gratitude." She finally said.

Ethan raised his eyebrow.

She nodded. "I really needed your dragon side at first, to give me the push that led to us getting married. I don't know how to do this whole 'being married' thing; the wife thing. But I wouldn't have that happy problem without your dragon side. Without it, we wouldn't be here."

He nodded. "Yeah, Illuminar said something like that; about wives five and six needing my dragon side more than my human side, at least at first."

"He was right." She hesitated, then took a deep breath. "Can I ask for a favor?"

"Absolutely."

"Can... can I sit next to you at dinner tonight?"

He grinned.

* * *

Ethan took a bite of the salt pork, keenly aware of the raven-haired woman sitting next to him. She had this strange half-dopey, half-embarrassed smile on her face and would occasionally steal a glance at him when she thought he wasn't looking. It was after dark, and the light from the Argo's lanterns and the coals in the firepan did wonderful things to her beauty.

Her skin was a bit darker than the rest of his wives, being similar in tone to a combination of a Latina woman and the olive skin of Mediterranean women. Her jet black hair wasn't as long as the rest of his wives, but it was wonderfully smooth. That combined with her dress made her look amazing in the firelight as she sat next to him.

She wasn't quite touching him, but she occasionally brushed her elbow or arm against him, and he didn't think it was on accident either. Each time she seemed to struggle slightly with her stomach, but her reaction was also far less than it had been, and seemed to decrease in severity with each successive touch.

"Well, I suppose you've collected five of the dragon balls." Selene said sullenly as she looked at Kendra sitting next to him. "Two more and you get a wish from the eternal dragon."

Ethan chuckled. "Technically, I've had seven since I bonded with Kendra, since I started with two."

Everyone else stared at them.

"It's a--" He began, but Alana interjected.

"A movie thing from earth; we know." The wood elf shook her head, as did most of the other crew members.

"Actually a TV show -- Dragonball Z -- but right." He said. "Speaking of Earth, we still have an invasion to try to stop. Any ideas how we can beat this Smithbond character?"

Everyone either shook their heads or replied in a negative.

"Honestly, I'm not sure that having a plan will work." Selene said. "There's just too many variables to consider. About the only thing that might get this started is if I walk up to the base with my hands up saying 'I'm from Earth, please don't shoot'. That should get me into the base, and since they know I went missing they should've seen my face. I should be able to get back to Earth because Smithbond almost certainly wouldn't come here; the chances of being stranded are too high."

"But what happens after that?" Rachel asked. "A plan for getting into the base is all well and good, but you'd need to kill Gonorran and destroy the portal. That's a tall order with no weapons and no backup, especially since he's a necromancer and won't be limited with mana the same way you will be."

"I know." The Brazilian woman replied. "But what other choice do we have? Assaulting the portal's endpoint here would be a suicide mission."

"I can be pretty sneaky, and a proper bow and arrow combination is nearly silent." Alana countered.

"Not with night vision and thermal." Selene shook her head. "They'd see you coming from a mile off."

"Thermal?"

Ethan explained the concept, and several of his wives' mouths fell open.

"They can see heat?" Beth's eyes went wide. "How does that work?"

"No idea, but Selene is right; it's absolutely out of the question." He ended looking at his first wife.

Alana frowned. "Yeah, I can see why."

"So I guess it's my plan then." Selene sighed. "Just show up and hope for the best."

"I don't like that plan at all." Ethan said. "I feel like you'd be walking into a deathtrap."

"The alternative is to do nothing, and does anyone really think that's a good idea?" Selene asked.

No one spoke.

"One request though." The caramel-haired beauty added. "Can we stop by Sarah's inn first so you can try that angel sword thing on her demon? I'd love to see her freed before I leave."

"Sure." Ethan nodded, then turned to Beth. "Which reminds me, we need to schedule an Astral Plane date so I can see this sword for myself."

"How about first thing in the morning?" The blonde replied brightly.

"It's a date." He grinned.

"Also." Alana interjected. "I've almost finished enchanting Rachel's staff, then I can get a start on those strength-enhancing vambraces that Ethan promised to Selene. I should be able to finish them by the time we arrive at the mining camp."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." Selene smiled, though it was a subdued smile. Ethan guessed she was still thinking about a potential mission to Earth, which accounted for the subdued expression.

Silence fell after this, though it was a comfortable silence.

Ethan yawned more than once as he finished his food. He was looking forward to seeing Sarah again more than he would like to admit. He looked around at the people gathered around the dinner fire, and could imagine her sitting here, eating and talking with all of them. She probably would've helped make dinner and brightened up the mood with her smile.

She had a great smile.

He sighed and shook his head.

"Sarah again?" Selene asked.

He looked up to realize that everyone except Raklan was looking at him.

He sighed. "Am I that obvious?"

"Yes." All of his wives chorused while Selene, Anthiel, and Serif merely had knowing looks.

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"Don't be master." Taloni said brightly. "Illuminar said that you would have seven wives; it's perfectly normal that you want one of them to be a woman you're attracted to."

He nodded, but didn't reply.

*Okay, what's eating you sir?* Alana thought to the group chat.

He looked around at them with a grimace on his face. *You all are so wonderful and I feel like... like I'm somehow insulting you by being attracted to her. I mean, I have four-- no, five wonderful wives, and yet I'm still thinking about a betrothed woman.*

*...and?* Rachel pressed. *I feel like there's more going on than just that.*

*You really want to know?*

*I do sir.*

*Me too Dominus.*

*And I master.*

*I do as well my lord.*

*I'm interested Drago.*

*Drago?* Taloni interjected. *That's perfect for your nickname for master! A Drago is a dragon Lord!*

All of his wives smiled at her exuberance, then Alana looked back at him. *Go ahead.*

*I feel like I'm somehow saying -- and I want to be one hundred percent clear that this isn't the case -- but I feel like I'm saying that you girls aren't enough; that I'm somehow not satisfied with you and need someone else, which isn't true.*

*We know that.* Alana replied simply. *Right ladies?*

They all agreed.

*So why does it bother you if it doesn't bother us?* The wood elf asked simply.

He looked at her. *But it does bother you Alana; you've alluded to as much before.*

The wood elf didn't quite meet his eye.

*See, that's what I'm talking about.* He drew his lips into a thin line. *Tell me Alana; tell me what's bothering you about this, because you've been cagey when it's come up before.*

She didn't answer.

She still wouldn't meet his eyes either.

He looked at her to see her examining the decking underneath her. Rachel slipped her hand into the wood elf's hand, and the latter gave the former a small smile, but his first wife still didn't reply.

*That's what I was worried about.* Ethan hung his head. *I'm sorry Alana, I really am. Once we've dealt with Sarah's demon problem, I plan to stay as far away from her as possible for the rest of our lives. You're just too important to me.*

No one said anything.

Alana glanced at him for a moment and gave him a half smile, but didn't reply and looked away quickly. Oddly, she didn't seem quite happy with his pronouncement. None of his other wives seemed to know what to say either.

The rest of dinner was a muted affair.

Everyone pretty much ate in silence until the plates were empty. Selene had a sort of frown on her face as she looked at Ethan and his wives, and he guessed that she could tell something was going on.

Eventually, Ethan stood up, but he didn't feel like going to bed. He wandered up to the quarterdeck and looked up at the stars for a bit. That reminded him of a conversation he'd had with Alana a long time ago. Stars; he'd once told her that if someone waited for the clouds to clear so they could see the stars, the results could be pretty great.

Now...

He exhaled heavily.

He really didn't like what his attraction to Sarah was doing to his other wives, Alana especially.

"Ethan." Anthiel's musical voice came from behind him. He turned to see her standing there with a sympathetic look.

"Ethan, sooner or later the 'honeymoon phase' of all relationships ends, and problems of one kind or another arise." Anthiel said. "I don't know exactly what's happening, but remember: the best part of a relationship is never the honeymoon period."

"It isn't?"

"No." She said firmly as she shook her head. "It often feels like the best part because of the emotional high, but that doesn't last. The best part of a marriage rarely comes before the tenth anniversary, and after the twentieth anniversary is more likely. It comes from having history with someone, and shared experiences, and struggling through things together. It comes from going through your world's 'hell' with each other and coming out on the other side stronger for it. Like building a muscle, it's the struggle that builds strong marriages, not the ease."

"That makes some sense." He conceded.

"I've been married for a hundred years, and can testify from personal experience." The high elf replied. "So when something happens and a marriage gets hard, the right thing to do is to dig deeper and work harder on it. In the end, that's how a good marriage is built and gets stronger; through the struggles of life. Remember that."

He nodded. "I will, thank you."

"Good." She smiled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think a certain wood elf could also benefit from hearing this."

He chuckled.

The high elf gave him a knowing smile and then descended the stairs down to the weather deck. Ethan resumed looking at the stars for several minutes before he heard the creaking of the stairs behind him.

"Ethan?"

He smiled; it was Alana.

He turned to face her. "You know, I think we seriously lucked out with our pilot."

She smiled back and nodded. "Yeah, we did."

"What's up?"

She bit her lip, but walked forward to join him at the ship's railing anyway. "It's not that I don't feel like I'm enough; it's that I -- and your other wives -- actually aren't enough."

"What?" He blinked. "Where in the world did you get that idea?"

She took a deep breath and looked at him. "I'm an enchantress Ethan; without my skills in enchanting I think we all would've died a long time ago."

"Absolutely." He agreed, thinking of her enchanting his weapons and all the times they'd been saved because of them, not to mention his armor.

"Beth can do Astral Projection, and if she couldn't we all would've died against Kyrupto, and you would've died more than once. Taloni is a brilliant healer and she's saved your life at least once. I get the feeling that she'll save us all a lot more before this is over. Rachel is a mage, and she's saved us all before, especially during the fight with Gonorran. Kendra saved you, Taloni, and Rachel against Lord Delmar and Lady Ekthros, and she will probably save us all a lot more now that she's staying on the Argo and you two are married."

"Okay, I'm with you so far."

"But those are all skills." She said. "I talked about this with Rachel a bit the day you met Sarah, and she pointed out that each of us have something that you need, and I'm okay with that; Rachel helped me to be okay with that. It took me a little while, but I realized that's not what really bothers me."

"What does then?"

"Those are just skills, not relationships." She said. "There has never been anything about your relationships with me or your other wives that felt unbalanced." She paused. "Okay, that's not true. I felt like it was slightly unbalanced in my favor, and with Sarah I've lost that."

"Huh?" He cocked his head to one side.

"Beth and Taloni have always said that even though you love us all equally, you and I are more like soulmates; that we have something extra special, something the others will never share. But with Sarah..." She trailed off.

"With Sarah... what?"

Alana took a deep breath, then looked up at him. "Will you hold me?"

He smiled widely and opened his arms. "Always."

She fell into him, relaxed nearly completely and sighed. "I love this."

"Mmm, that makes two of us."

He held her for several seconds before she continued. "Sarah can understand you in a way that I can't; in a way that I never will be able to because she can really, truly, and deeply understand your dragon side and the darkness you've struggled with. I can't. She can be something for you that I can never be."

"Oh." He frowned as he continued to hold her.

"I'm not enough, but not because there's something wrong with me." She continued softly. "Ironically, I'm not enough because there isn't something wrong with me. I'm not enough because she can give you something that I never can, and I don't want to... to lose..." Her voice cracked a bit and she swallowed hard.

"You won't lose me." He replied firmly.

"I'm not worried that I'll lose you." She shook her head. "I'm worried that I'll lose..." She looked up at him. "Can I be really selfish for a moment?"

He nodded. "Yeah, go ahead."

She searched his eyes for several seconds, and he was once again struck by how beautiful her rich hazel eyes were. "I'm worried about losing my... my 'spot' as your... not your favorite -- I don't think you have favorites -- but my spot as... I don't know, your... your..."

"My...?"

"I don't know how to explain it." She shook her head. "I feel I'm closer to you than the others, partially because I've been around you the longest; since the beginning. We have such a strong connection and I never felt that was threatened by your other wives."

"But...?" He asked, feeling like there was a 'but' coming."

"But I'm worried your connection with Sarah will be stronger than your connection with me because she has a part of you that I can never have, but the reverse isn't true. She can know you in a way that I can't, but there's no way I can know you that she can't."

"You don't want to be replaced?" He asked.

"That's not it." She shook her head. "I know you'd never leave me. Ever." She spoke with absolute conviction, then her tone softened. "But I guess what I'm most worried about is watching you get closer to Sarah than you are with me." She sighed. "I know that's selfish, and I know I'm being hypocritical because I'm closer to you than your other wives are." She frowned. "I love how close you are to your other wives, and I want you to get closer to all of them, but I..." She looked down. "I want you to be closer to me."

He gave her a gentle squeeze. "I love how close we are too, and yeah; I wouldn't want to lose that either."

The wood elf swallowed hard. "I just don't... I don't want to end up on the outside looking in because you got closer to her than you are with me. I don't mind if you're close to her, I really don't. In fact, I want you to get closer to her because I think it would be good for you, for both of you. But I just..." She trailed off.

"You just don't want to feel left out?"

"Yeah..." She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think that's it."

He gave her a small smile, then reached down and gently cupped her face with his palm and stroked her cheek with his thumb while he held her with the other arm. "Alana Ejder, love of my life, there's no one and nothing that could ever take your place in my heart. Ever."

She gave him a pained smile. "I know, but... Oh how to explain this." She frowned for a moment, then snuggled into his chest. "Many years ago, before my adoptive parents died, we all went into town to meet some of their friends, most of whom also had kids. The adults were talking for a long time and the kids played together, but I didn't really fit in. I played with the other kids, but they all knew each other and I didn't know them, or their games. I felt like an outsider. I tried staying by the adults but I was young enough that I didn't understand most of what they were talking about, so I felt like an outsider there too."

"I've had similar things happen." He nodded. "Being the fifth wheel I mean."

"Fifth wheel?"

He explained what it meant and she nodded. "Exactly, I don't want to be a fifth wheel to you and Sarah. I don't want to feel left out like that. I don't mind if you have Sarah -- in fact, I want you to have her because I really do think it would be good for you; for both of you -- I just don't want to be left behind; I don't want to be a fifth wheel."

"You won't be." He said gently. "I'm never going to marry her, and you wouldn't be a fifth wheel if the impossible occurred and I did marry her."

She smiled at him, and though the smile reached her eyes, it didn't light them up as much as it usually did. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

"But?"

"That helps me feel a little bit better, but not completely better." She gave him an apologetic smile. "That goes double because I would feel just horrible if you ended up not marrying her because of me."

He felt both his eyebrows rise as his mouth fell open. "You would?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I saw the way you two look at each other, and see the way you smile when you think about her. She really understands a part of you that I don't -- that none of your wives do -- and I think you need that. I don't want to keep you two apart, and I would feel just awful if I somehow ended up doing so."

He stared at her.

"I'm serious Ethan." She said, fixing him with that stare that revealed her iron willpower, though there was a gentle vulnerability to her gaze too.

Ethan stared for several seconds, not sure how what Alana had said at the beginning of their conversation could've led here. He worked his mouth for several seconds before he finally got a question out.

"Why?"

"Consider how you might feel if you were keeping two people apart who not only loved each other, but also were perfect for each other and genuinely good for each other." She leaned her head against his chest, and gently rubbed her cheek against it. "As worried as I am about what might happen if you marry her, I'd rather face that than keep you two apart." She looked up at him. "You need her Ethan, you really do. You need someone who understands what you've gone through, who understands that side of you... and she can."