A Dragon's Tale Ch. 52

*I've got a few minutes and we do need to talk, but it doesn't need to be now.*

*Go ahead; let's get this over with.*

*Why don't you think that you're a good person?*

*You know why.*

*I know you feel that way because of what you've done, but why does that mean you aren't a good person now?*

*Because killing people simply doesn't bother me.* She replied with a sigh, not that he could see it. *It probably should, but it doesn't.*

*Have you ever knowingly killed someone who was innocent?*

*Not knowingly.* She replied as she ended up walking into the storage room underneath the captain's cabin.

*Meaning?* He asked. *It sounds like there's more to it.*

*There were some targets that I wasn't sure of. Some of them didn't seem crooked to me, or evil, or wicked. But the Aldmiri said kill, so I killed anyway.*

He didn't reply for several seconds. *Would you do that now?*

*No.* She didn't add that her reluctance to kill on command was one of the things that led to her leaving, and also one of the reasons that she was allowed to leave.

*So you've changed then.*

*Obviously.* She retorted with an edge in her mental tone. *I married a dragon.*

Ethan didn't reply for several seconds and his mental tone was softer when he did reply. *Kendra, I'm trying to help my wife who I love very deeply. I might be barking up the wrong tree, but I am trying to help.*

*I know.* The dragon huntress sank down onto a bag of grain since she knew it would be relatively soft. *I appreciate that, but I don't think you can help. I'm happy to be where I am, even if I am objectively the worst of your wives in every possible category.*

She wasn't bitter about that.

It was just a fact.

*Combat skills?* Ethan replied, and she could just imagine the teasing grin on his face.

*In every way that matters to a relationship.* She corrected herself. *I'm the least attractive, least kind, least caring, least nurturing, least--*

*Stop.* He interrupted her and she fell silent. *Even if all of that were true -- and I'm not saying it is -- but even if that were true, it doesn't change the fact that you are a good person. Maybe you weren't at one time, but you are now.*

Kendra felt a small, pained smile creep onto her face despite herself. *I'm glad you think that.*

*Nothing I can say will make a difference, will it?* He sounded sad.

*Until you've enjoyed the feeling of warm blood running onto your hands after slitting a man's throat in cold blood, I'm not you'll understand enough to change my mind. I pray you never will understand that either.*

*Enjoyed?*

*Let's just say the world is better off without him in it.* Kendra replied, shuddering as she recalled what he'd been up to; repeatedly. *I enjoyed it Drago. Enjoyed. Not 'was forced', not 'I didn't have a choice', not even 'I didn't have a better option'. I did have other options and I chose to slit his throat. I enjoyed doing it; I enjoyed ending his life. Good people don't feel that way.* She hesitated and then added. *And before you ask, yes I would do it again in a heartbeat and yes I would enjoy it again. That man was a blight on the Ten Kingdoms and I don't regret it. I have never regretted it.*

*Oh.*

*So yes I'm the worst of your wives.* She plowed on. *But rather than making me depressed, I feel blessed. I feel incredibly blessed to be your wife, to live on the Argo, and to have Alana, Beth, Taloni, and Rachel as co-wives, and Selene as a friend. I'm grateful that Illuminar was kind enough to allow me to share in your lives and what you're doing. I'll always be grateful. But I won't pretend that I'm something that I'm not. I'm a cold-blooded killer Ethan. I have been since I was eleven, I am now, and I probably always will be.*

There was a long silence before he spoke. *Eleven? You were eleven the first time...*

*I was.*

Again, there was a long silence before he replied. *Kendra, you might scare anyone else in the world with that speech, but you can't scare me. Do you know why?*

She sighed; damn he was blind where her faults were concerned. A part of her liked that he was because she wasn't sure that he would still love her if he wasn't.

*Why?* She finally asked.

*Because we bonded. Because I saw who you really are when we bonded. I saw everything about you, every dark thing you've ever done and every dark thought you've ever had. I don't remember any details of course -- I never do -- but I do remember what I saw when I looked into your soul. More than anything else, you want to be good. You want to be noble and you were never -- not even once -- tempted to use your skills and abilities selfishly for your own ends.* He paused. *Actually, that's something you and Selene have in common. It might be part of why you two get along so well.*

*Maybe.* Kendra replied neutrally.

*I wish you could see yourself the way I do.* He replied.

"So do I." She whispered aloud, but she didn't think it to him. *I can't Drago.*

*I know. Just don't ever forget that I think of you that way: as my good girl.*

She smiled in spite of herself. No matter how untrue it was, she never got tired of hearing him call her that.

* * *

Ethan took a deep breath as he thought about his fifth wife. True she had more issues than most, and those issues were more serious too, but he still wished that she could understand how incredible she was. To have gone through everything she went through and come out on the other side not only still sane but also good? That was incredible.

Sadly, he didn't have time to belabor the point because the Blue Circle camp was rapidly approaching. He could see small wisps of smoke coming from the orc teepees, several orcs milling about working on various things like washing, forging, or making arrows, and several of the armed orcs eyed him as he flew over the camp.

*We can talk more about this later, though I'm not entirely sure what to say.*

*We don't need to talk about it more Drago, though we can if you want to.* She replied, her mental tone not particularly emotional.

*I love you Kendra.* He said as he swooped down to land at the camp's edge.

*I love you too Drago.*

He smiled at her reply, then thought to everyone. *I've arrived.*

He had only just tucked his wings and started towards the orc camp when Grobozlesh started jogging down the hill on which the orc camp was set. He had a wide grin on his face which showed much of his tusks. He looked positively delighted about something.

"You return." Grobozlesh said when he'd arrived. *Tree elf wife finish bow?*

"Yes the bow is finished, but she still needs to get arrows for it." He replied.

The orc's grin faltered but then returned even wider than before. "Tell tree elf, Grobozlesh excite!"

"I will." He chuckled at the broken English, but nodded and then thought to everyone. *Alana, Grobozlesh is really excited for your rematch.*

He could hear the laughter in her mental tone as she replied. *I'm just about to sit down with Rachel to write the letter.*

*You know, you could also spend some time lying down with Rachel while you're writing.* He thought privately to her.

*Oh, I intend to.* She replied without a trace of embarrassment. *Probably not today, but eventually.*

*Good.* He replied, then turned his attention back to Grobozlesh.

The orc was looking at him with narrowed eyes. "Eye go blank; what you think?"

"I was thinking of my wife who's going to demolish you on your rematch." He grinned.

"De-mo-lish." The orc frowned. "I not know word."

"Uh, I meant that I think she'll win." He explained, then added. "Her new bow is very strong."

"Strong archer, strong bow; strong together."

"Indeed." He nodded. "Did you hear what the other orc clans decided about unifying against the Red Hand clan?"

"No." Grobozlesh replied. "That talk for clan chief, elders; not Grobozlesh."

"Well, shall we get going then?"

The orc grunted and the two of them walked into the camp towards the largest teepee. They attracted many eyes as they walked, but not as many as when he'd first come; he supposed the novelty had worn off a bit. He suppressed a sigh when he saw the log in front of the elder's tent; he wasn't looking forward to lifting it again. Grobozlesh lifted it and stepped under it, then waited for Ethan to do the same. He could've sworn the damn thing got heavier since the last time, but it was still doable.

Once he'd managed, they went inside where the other orcs were waiting. There were the same five very old orc elders from before, including the oldest one: Hobdrizen. His wolf's tooth necklace rattled slightly as he acknowledged Ethan with a head bow. The other orcs did similarly and the orc chieftain was there as well. He spoke first.

"You return." Drazglent said, though his tone wasn't happy.

"Hi Draz, what up?" Ethan asked.

"I is Drazglent, not Draz." The orc chieftain's tone was now irritated as well.

Ethan nodded. "Sorry, I meant no offense."

Drazglent grunted, then turned to Hobdrizen. "Tell of meeting."

The old orc's face darkened. "The other clans have weak foresight."

Ethan frowned. "They didn't go for it?"

Drazglent shook his head. "They have weak foresight." He spat on the ground as if the very word itself was offensive. "Red Hand make politic; say Ivernia not threat."

Ethan's frown deepened. "When did they say this?"

"At meeting." Drazglent replied.

Ethan's eyes widened. "Wait, the Red Hand clan was there?"

All the orcs looked at him, clear confusion on their faces.

"Of course Red Hand was there." Hobdrizen replied. "We discuss war against them. Why would we not invite them?"

Ethan blinked.

Huh?

Why would anyone invite a clan to a meeting when they were considering going to war with that clan?

Although...

He cocked his head to one side. The orcs did blow a horn before launching an ambush and they looked with derision on 'lies of not-saying', so he supposed that it made a certain kind of sense from their culture's viewpoint. That of course made him think of Obi-Wan's quote from Return of the Jedi: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." From their point of view, he knew that they thought it dishonorable to attack without warning. Thus, it made sense that they wouldn't form an alliance to start a clan war without also announcing their intentions.

Strange.

He supposed it was a good thing, but it was also strange from his perspective.

"Hu-mans not warn?" Grobozlesh asked with a frown.

"Some do, some don't." He shrugged. "But there's no cultural expectation to warn someone before attacking unless you were allies."

"Hu-mans have weak honor." Drazglent spat on the ground. "Orc have honor; warn before attack, warn before war. Hu-mans no have honor; no warn before attack, no warn before war."

The orcs in the tent were nodding in agreement.

"I'll concede that there are a lot of dishonorable humans, that's for sure." Ethan conceded. "However, not all of them are. I know several who are very honorable."

That response seemed to mollify them, though Grobozlesh was looking at him curiously.

"Hu-mans strange." The orc painter said.

"From my point of view, orcs are strange." Ethan replied with a chuckle.

"Strong word." Grobozlesh grunted, which Ethan took to mean that he agreed.

"So what now?" Ethan asked the assembled orcs.

"Red Hand clan stronger." Hobdrizen said with a shrug that made his wolf's-tooth necklace rattle. "We not want to commit self-death, so we will not attack."

Ethan slowly nodded.

Sadly, he could see why the Blue Circle clan attacking the Red Hands would be suicide. They were outnumbered almost 2-to-1 and that kind of disparity was hard to overcome.

Although...

He cocked his head to one side as he remembered the conversation he'd had with Lord Kalus the night they had gone to their house in Dotmier for dinner, right after fighting orcs for the first time. The lord had told a story where he had encircled a larger enemy force with his smaller force and won the battle that way. Maybe, just maybe, it could work if they had a brilliant tactician on their side.

"Do you have anyone who's a good tactician?" He asked, thinking it would be better if they had an orcish one instead of asking Lord Kalus. He was pretty sure the lord wouldn't be able to lift the log into the tent since he himself could barely lift it even with four pieces of strength-enhancing armor.

"What is 'tactician'?" Drazglent asked. "I not know this word."

"It's someone who..." He tried to think of the right word, but Hobdrizen beat him to it.

"When many warriors fight, tactician direct warriors." The elderly orc explained.

Drazglent grunted. "I tactician."

"It's more than that though." Ethan replied. "It's someone who has studied how to move large groups of men so that smaller groups of men can beat larger groups of men, or equally matched forces can suffer fewer casualties. Have you studied that?"

The orc chieftain frowned. "I not tactician. Sound like tactician is strong in war."

"They are very strong in war, and I think I know one who might be able to help. Well, if I can convince him."

Drazglent raised an eyebrow. "Hu-man tactician?"

Ethan nodded. "He's strong in mind, and he's very strong in tactics."

Grobozlesh shook his head. "Hu-mans no beat orc. Hu-mans not strong enough."

"That's the best thing about being a good tactician." Ethan replied. "You don't need to be strong in body, only strong in mind. Even if a man isn't strong in body, he can still be a good tactician if he's strong in mind."

Drazglent looked at Ethan like he'd just sprouted an extra head. "How can man direct men fighting if not strong at fighting? If weak fighter, make weak decisions on fighting."

"The man I'm thinking of is strong at fighting, or at least at fighting men."

"We not fight men. We fight orcs." Grobozlesh said.

"Hu-mans not know how orc fights." Drazglent said. "How can man direct orc when not strong enough to defeat orc and not know how orc fights?"

Ethan opened his mouth to reply, then realized that he didn't know how to articulate that the orcs were missing the point. Well, they had a point, but he was pretty sure that if Lord Kalus saw how orcs fought for even a short time he would be able to make a major difference in a fight.

"How about this." He finally said. "How about I talk to him and see if he's willing to meet with you to discuss it, and then you can question him to see that he is strong in mind and strong in tactics."

Drazglent shook his head. "No need. Not know how orc fights. Not strong tactician if not know how orc fight."

"Well, let me put it this way." Ethan finally said, deciding to circumvent the debate entirely. "The man I'm thinking of is the one who has been guarding the mine and holding off the Red Hands."

Drazglent frowned. "That man... not weak in battle."

"I see him." Grobozlesh said. "He defend against goblin and orc. He weak in body but strong in fighting."

Drazglent seemed to hover in indecision for several moments and then finally shook his head again. "He not strong in body; he not able to lift log." He pointed to the log out in front of the teepee. "He not strong enough to enter, he not strong enough tactician."

"Drazglent, can I lift the log?" Hobdrizen asked. The elderly orc looked like he would have trouble lifting himself, much less the log outside. "Weak in body does not always mean weak in mind."

The orc chieftain frowned.

Ethan let him consider that for several moments, hoping the admonishment from the orc elder would work. After several seconds, Drazglent slowly shook his head again and his frown deepened. He opened his mouth -- almost assuredly to disagree again -- so Ethan piped up.

"How about this: How about you meet him and test his mind to see that he is strong in mind. Then you can test him to see if he is strong as a tactician. If he passes both tests, then you promise to hear him out. You don't have to take his advice, but you must promise to give him a fair hearing."

"Strong word." Hobdrizen nodded, and the other orc elders did as well.

Drazglent looked at their reactions and then at Ethan, his look still skeptical. "Agree. You bring and we test. No promise to take advice, but will listen if he pass test."

"Good." Ethan internally breathed a sigh of relief. Drazglent sure was stubborn, but at least he wasn't entirely pig-headed about this. "I haven't asked him yet, so he would also need to agree."

"Go, ask, bring word." Drazglent said.

Ethan got the distinct impression that he was being dismissed, so he stood. "Thanks, I'll be back as soon as I can, hopefully tomorrow."

Drazglent grunted but otherwise didn't reply.

"Come, talk of tree elf wife contest." Grobozlesh said.

Ethan chuckled as they left the tent.

The moment they were outside, Grobozlesh turned to him. "When tree elf have arrows?"

"Um, not long." He replied. "Hopefully only a few days, but I'm not really sure."

"Tell tree elf wife, Grobozlesh excite!" His grin matched his words. "We have strong contest."

"I think you will." Ethan grinned back, taking something of a liking to the orc. He seemed a little more open-minded than the other orcs and he clearly regarded Alana's skill with the bow irrespective of her small stature. He also was more genial than Drazglent and friendlier than Hobdrizen, though the old orc certainly wasn't unfriendly.

They talked about the upcoming bow contest until Ethan reached the edge of the camp where Grobozlesh bade him goodbye. Ethan spread his wings and started flying, his mind swinging back around to Kendra. She wasn't as bad off as he had thought, but he still didn't like her opinion of herself. Sadly, he had no idea how to help her.

He kept trying to come up with a way to help her as the scattered patches of forest and grassy hillside scrolled by underneath him, but he couldn't think of anything. Yes, Kendra had done awful things in the past, but she wasn't like that anymore. However, it seemed impossible and hopeless to convince her otherwise.

At the intersection of Kendra, impossible things, and hopeless situations was the ambush in Laerten two days ago. He couldn't believe that they had survived. It had sounded less likely when Kendra had given him the blow-by-blow while she was keeping him awake during his flight from the demon-possessed man. He hadn't mentioned that he'd asked Illuminar to help.

Maybe he should've, but he hadn't.

That's when a thought occurred to him.

Maybe -- just maybe -- if Illuminar was so dedicated to helping him, maybe he would be willing to help Kendra as well? It seemed like a stupid thought but he couldn't see the harm in asking. Hell, he'd ask anyone else if he thought they could help, so why not? It wasn't like he had anything to lose.

He took a deep breath and, feeling pretty stupid, said aloud. "Okay, I'm not sure if you're listening Illuminar, but if you are, could you help Kendra with all the crap she's struggling with from her past?"

He waited...

...and waited...

...and waited some more.

Nothing happened.

He shrugged, shaking his head and feeling pretty stupid. Oh well, he'd given it a try.

His mind swung back around to the war they were about to fight and he still wanted to get Lord Kalus's opinion, both on how to fight a war and to see if he would be willing to act as a tactician for the orcs. Ethan's initial thought had been to have him over for dinner, but they were already having Arven's family plus Matthew over for dinner.

Huh.

He cocked his head to one side as something occurred to him. It might work and could be fun for all involved.