tagHow ToA Fucking English Lesson

A Fucking English Lesson

bysecretsxywriter©

I have been a fan of Literotica for over 10 years; 9 of them as a member, 5 of them as a contributing writer. Not even getting into the issues with POV, punctuation, plot, and if a story even made sense, I found myself cringing every time I read a story where the wrong word was used.

The constant battle of do I comment on the story/send private feedback or just ignore it finally encouraged me to join the Volunteer Editor program. That choice has been a blessing and a curse. I've not only met a handful of really good authors who I enjoy helping polish up their work and have even developed online friendships with, but I've also met a lot of authors who have no clue about the basics of writing. Particularly when it comes to spelling/word choice.

The "list" started as a way to vent on my Bio page. It was short (10 words or less), and is actually prevalent on the Internet in various memes (usually depicting 'There, Their, They're'). A few have gone the way of adding the word "fucking" to the correct usage, which I found was abso-fucking-lutely brilliant (yes, it's a word...made popular by "Sex & The City"; Google it). I added a few more commonly-misused words after reading a story where the author had the lead character constantly "wander" about things in her head, and another where a character was always loosing something. The more I read—the more I edited—the longer the list became. When I encouraged my readers to submit their own requests, the list became so long I had to modify the rest of my Bio to fit the character requirements.

These are all words I've personally encountered while reading/editing here on Lit that left me shaking my head and rolling my eyes. While there are probably many more words that will come up, I wanted to move the list to an actual submission for others to be able to not only learn from it, but also get a good laugh. Of course, due to space constraints, only the basic or most common definitions are provided.

Spellcheck can't find incorrect word usage, only misspellings; and even having the program check grammar isn't infallible. When in doubt, ask someone else with a fresh pair of eyes to review your story. That's what the Volunteer Editor program is for. We want to help you submit a better story; one that you're proud of and is as free of mistakes as possible.

So, without further ado, here is a Fucking English Lesson for the grammatically-impaired.

«««««««««««««« § »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

*I'm into anal...when it comes to being grammatically correct!*

# Accept = To Fucking Agree

# Except = Not Fucking Included

# Affect = A Fucking Action

# Effect = A Fucking Result

# Ascent = To Fucking Go Up

# Assent = To Fucking Agree

# Allowed = To Have Fucking Permitted

# Aloud = To Fucking Say Something Clearly

# Bare = To Be Fucking Naked

# Bear = A Fucking Animal or To Fucking Put Up With

# Base = The Fucking Thing Upon Which Something Else Fucking Rests (Physically or Conceptually)

# Bass = A Fucking Fish or A Fucking Low Pitched Voice/Instrument

# Blond = A Fucking Male Hair Color

# Blonde = A Fucking Feminine Hair Color

# Board = A Fucking Piece Of Wood

# Bored = To Have Nothing To Fucking Do

# Boarder = One Who Has Fucking People/Pets Stay For Extended Periods

# Border = To Fucking Go Around or To Fucking Be Near Something

# Brake = To Fucking Slow Down

# Break = To Fucking Stop Or Crack

# Breath = What Comes Out Of Your Fucking Mouth When You Breathe

# Breathe = To Fucking Inhale/Exhale

# Coarse = To Be Fucking Rough

# Course = A Fucking Path

# Collage = A Fucking Collection Of Photos

# College = A Fucking School Where You Earn A Degree

# Coma = A Fucking State Of Deep Unconsciousness

# Comma = Fucking Punctuation...Too Often Misused/Absent

# Descent = To Fucking Go Down

# Decent = To Be Fucking Acceptable

# Desert = A Fucking Dry Wasteland or To Fucking Leave

# Dessert = A Fucking Food

# Faze = To Be Fucking Bothered

# Phase = A Fucking Period In Time Or A Process

# It's = It Fucking Is

# Its = Shows Fucking Possession

# Lead = What Is Inside A Fucking Pencil or To Fucking Cause One To Follow

# Led = Fucking Past Tense Of "Lead"

# Lessen = To Fucking Reduce

# Lesson = Something You Fucking Learn

# Loose = Not Fucking Fixed In Place

# Lose = Cease To Fucking Keep

# Passed = To Fucking Move Around

# Past = To Have Already Fucking Happened

# Peak = The Fucking Top

# Peek = To Fucking Look At

# Pique = To Create Fucking Interest

# Real = To Be Fucking True

# Reel = A Fucking Roll of Fishing Line or To Fucking Lurch

# Shudder = A Fucking Good Orgasm

# Shutter = A Fucking Window Cover

# Taught = Past Fucking Tense Of "Teach"

# Taut = To Be Fucking Tight

# Than = A Fucking Comparison

# Then = A Fucking Point In Time

# Their = Shows Fucking Possession

# There = Specifies A Fucking Location

# They're = They Fucking Are

# Threw = Past Fucking Tense Of "Throw"

# Through = Specifies Where It Fucking Went

# To = Where It's Fucking Going

# Too = An Excessive Fucking Amount

# Two = A Fucking Number

# Waist = The Fucking Part Of Your Body Above Your Fucking Hips

# Waste = Fucking Trash

# Wait = To Fucking Pause

# Weight = The Fucking Amount Something Weighs

# Waive = To Fucking Refrain From Using Or Enforcing

# Wave = To Fucking Gesture At Someone

# Wander = To Fucking Move About (Physically or Mentally)

# Wonder = To Fucking Think About

# Way = How To Fucking Do Something

# Weigh = To Fucking Find Out How Heavy Something Is

# Weak = The Fucking Opposite Of Strong

# Week = Fucking Sunday Through Saturday

# Were = Past Fucking Tense Of "Are"

# We're = We Fucking Are

# Ware = A Fucking Item To Sell

# Wear = To Fucking Put On Clothes

# Where = Specifies A Fucking Location

# Weather = What It's Fucking Like Outside

# Whether = A Fucking Choice Between Alternatives

# Who's = Who Fucking Is

# Whose = Shows Fucking Possession

# Wood = What A Fucking Tree Trunk Is Made Of

# Would = Fucking Past Tense of "Will"

# Your = Shows Fucking Possession

# You're = You Fucking Are

~H

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by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Biker_Type10/18/17

Only one statement seems appropriate..."Fucking A!"

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by SouthPacific10/11/17

More Americanisms which grate

Something which I never see from English writers:

"Grinded" as the past tense of "grind" - surely the correct word is "ground?"

"Dove" as the past tense of "dive" - sorry, but for me a dove is a birdmore...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by secretsxywriter10/08/17

Your Prize

@ Anonymous - You get the privilege of joining the ranks of us that know how to write the right way. Red pen not required; use of the F word optional. The secret phrase will be sent you privately throughmore...

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by Anonymous10/08/17

Do I get a fucking prize for knowing and correctly using all the fucking words on this fucking list?

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by Anonymous10/07/17

a few more

someone mentioned "write" / "right." There are two more to go with this.
Right = correct or not left
Write = to compose, as in a story
Wright = a maker of something
Rite = a ritual

And one that doesn'tmore...

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