tagHow ToA Fucking English Lesson

A Fucking English Lesson

bysecretsxywriter©

Thanks to everyone who has commented and offered suggestions for corrections and additions. New words/definitions are indicated by an asterisk (*) as of 11/30/17.

SSW


*****

I have been a fan of Literotica for over 10 years; 9 of them as a member, 5 of them as a contributing writer. Not even getting into the issues with POV, punctuation, plot, and if a story even made sense, I found myself cringing every time I read a story where the wrong word was used.

The constant battle of do I comment on the story/send private feedback or just ignore it finally encouraged me to join the Volunteer Editor program. That choice has been a blessing and a curse. I've not only met a handful of really good authors who I enjoy helping polish up their work and have even developed online friendships with, but I've also met a lot of authors who have no clue about the basics of writing. Particularly when it comes to spelling/word choice.

The "list" started as a way to vent on my Bio page. It was short (10 words or less), and is actually prevalent on the Internet in various memes (usually depicting 'There, Their, They're'). A few have gone the way of adding the word "fucking" to the correct usage, which I found was abso-fucking-lutely brilliant (yes, it's a word...made popular by "Sex & The City"; Google it). I added a few more commonly-misused words after reading a story where the author had the lead character constantly "wander" about things in her head, and another where a character was always loosing something. The more I read—the more I edited—the longer the list became. When I encouraged my readers to submit their own requests, the list became so long I had to modify the rest of my Bio to fit the character requirements.

These are all words I've personally encountered while reading/editing here on Lit that left me shaking my head and rolling my eyes. While there are probably many more words that will come up, I wanted to move the list to an actual submission for others to be able to not only learn from it, but also get a good laugh. Of course, due to space constraints, only the basic or most common definitions are provided.

Spellcheck can't find incorrect word usage, only misspellings; and even having the program check grammar isn't infallible. When in doubt, ask someone else with a fresh pair of eyes to review your story. That's what the Volunteer Editor program is for. We want to help you submit a better story; one that you're proud of and is as free of mistakes as possible.

So, without further ado, here is A Fucking English Lesson for the grammatically-impaired.

~I'm into anal...when it comes to being grammatically correct!~

«««««««««««««« § »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

# Accept = To Fucking Agree

# Except = Not Fucking Included

# Affect = A Fucking Action

# Effect = A Fucking Result

# Ascent = To Fucking Go Up

# Assent = To Fucking Agree

# Allowed = To Have Fucking Permitted

# Aloud = To Fucking Say Something Clearly

* Aural = In Your Fucking Ear

* Oral = In Your Fucking Mouth

# Bare = To Be Fucking Naked

# Bear = A Fucking Animal or To Fucking Put Up With

# Base = The Fucking Thing Upon Which Something Else Fucking Rests (Physically or Conceptually)

# Bass = A Fucking Fish or A Fucking Low Pitched Voice/Instrument

# Blond = A Fucking Hair Color (Non-Gender Specific)

# Blonde = A Fucking Hair Color Usually Specific To Females

# Board = A Fucking Piece Of Wood

# Bored = To Have Nothing To Fucking Do

# Boarder = One Who Fucking Stays Temporarily But For Extended Periods

# Border = To Fucking Go Around or To Fucking Be Near Something

# Brake = To Fucking Slow Down

# Break = To Fucking Stop Or Crack

# Breath = What Comes Out Of Your Fucking Mouth When You Breathe

# Breathe = To Fucking Inhale/Exhale

* Carat =The Fucking Quality Or Weight Of Gemstones

* Caret = The Fucking ^ Symbol

* Carrot = What Fucking Bugs Bunny Eats

* Karat = The Fucking Purity Of Precious Metal

* Cloth = A Piece Of Fucking Material Used For Various Purposes

* Clothes = What You Wear or What You Fucking Rip Off To Have Sex

# Coarse = To Be Fucking Rough

# Course = A Fucking Path or A Fucking Series of Classes

# Collage = A Fucking Collection Of Photos

# College = A Fucking School Where You Earn A Degree

* Cologne = Fucking Perfume For Men

* Colon = Your Fucking Large Intestine

# Coma = A Fucking State Of Deep Unconsciousness

# Comma = Fucking Punctuation...Too Often Misused/Absent

* Come = Fucking Verb In Relation To Having An Orgasm

* Cum = Fucking Slang Noun For The Fucking Result Of Having An Orgasm

* Condemn = To Fucking Express Disapproval

* Condom = What A Guy Fucking Wears During Sex To Prevent STDs or Babies

* Conscious = To Be Fucking Awake

* Conscience = Your Fucking Inner Guide To Right Or Wrong Behavior

# Descent = To Fucking Go Down

# Decent = To Be Fucking Acceptable

# Desert = A Fucking Dry Wasteland or To Fucking Leave

# Dessert = A Fucking Food

* Discreet = To Be Fucking Careful

* Discrete = To Be Fucking Separate

* Dived = Fucking Past Tense Of "To Dive"

* Dove = A Fucking Bird

* Dew = Fucking Perspiration or Fucking Tiny Drops Of Water In The Late Night/Early Morning

* Do = To Fucking Perform An Action

* Due = When Your Fucking Bills Are Owed or The Fucking Time Someone/Something is Expected

* Dragged = Fucking Past Tense of "Drag"

* Drug = Fucking Medication Hopefully Not Fucking Bought/Used Illegally

* Faint = Fucking Barely Perceptible or Fucking Weak And Dizzy

* Feint = To Fucking Deceive With A Distracting Movement

* Faze = To Fucking Disturb

* Phase = A Fucking Period Of Time or To Fucking Carry Out In Stages

* Few = A Fucking Small Number

* Less = A Fucking Small Amount or To Fucking Subtract

* Farther = A Fucking Greater Physical Distance (It's Fucking Far Away)

* Further =A Fucking Greater Metaphorical/Figurative Distance

* Grate = To Fucking Get On Your Nerves or A Fucking Frame Of Metal Bars Covering Something

* Great = Fucking Fantastic

* Groan = A Fucking Deep Internal Sound

* Grown = To Be Fucking Older/Taller/Bigger

* Heal = To Fucking Get Better

* Heel = The Fucking Backend Of Your Foot

* Hear = What Your Fucking Ears Do (Not Equal To Understanding; One Can Fucking Hear But Not Fucking Listen)

* Here = A Fucking Location

* Hole = A Fucking Empty Space

* Whole = The Entire Fucking Thing

* Humorous = Fucking Hilarious

* Humerus = A Fucking Bone In Your Arm Between Your Shoulder And Elbow

# It's = It Fucking Is

# Its = Shows Fucking Possession

# Lead = What Is Inside A Fucking Pencil or To Fucking Cause One To Follow

# Led = Fucking Past Tense Of "Lead"

# Lessen = To Fucking Reduce

# Lesson = Something You Fucking Learn

* Lesser = The Fucking Opposite Of Greater

* Lessor = A Fucking Landlord

# Loose = Not Fucking Fixed In Place

# Lose = Cease To Fucking Keep

# Passed = To Fucking Move Around

# Past = To Have Already Fucking Happened

# Peak = The Fucking Top

# Peek = To Fucking Look At

# Pique = To Create Fucking Interest

* Pleas = To Make A Fucking Urgent Request or A Fucking Formal Statement In Law

* Please = To Fucking Give Satisfaction

* Prostate = A Fucking Part Of Men's Genitals

* Prostrate = To Fucking Lie Flat On Your Face

* Rain = The Fucking Water That Falls From The Fucking Sky

* Reign = To Fucking Rule

* Rein = To Fucking Restrain

# Real = To Be Fucking True

# Reel = A Fucking Roll of Fishing Line or To Fucking Lurch

* Right = To Be Fucking Correct

* Rite = A Fucking Ritual Or Ceremony

* Wright = A Fucking Maker Or Builder

* Write = To Fucking Create A Story On Paper/Computer/Typewriter

# Shudder = A Fucking Good Orgasm

# Shutter = A Fucking Window Cover or A Device On A Fucking Camera

* Sight = The Fucking Ability To See

* Site = A Fucking Location or A Fucking Page On The Internet

# Taught = Past Fucking Tense Of "Teach"

# Taut = To Be Fucking Tight

# Than = A Fucking Comparison

# Then = A Fucking Point In Time

# Their = Shows Fucking Possession

# There = Specifies A Fucking Location

# They're = They Fucking Are

# Threw = Past Fucking Tense Of "Throw"

# Through = Specifies Where It Fucking Went

# To = Where It's Fucking Going

# Too = An Excessive Fucking Amount

# Two = A Fucking Number

# Waist = The Fucking Part Of Your Body Above Your Fucking Hips

# Waste = Fucking Trash

# Wait = To Fucking Pause

# Weight = The Fucking Amount Something Weighs

# Waive = To Fucking Refrain From Using Or Enforcing

# Wave = To Fucking Gesture At Someone

# Wander = To Fucking Move About (Physically or Mentally)

# Wonder = To Fucking Think About

# Way = How To Fucking Do Something

# Weigh = To Fucking Find Out How Heavy Something Is

# Weak = The Fucking Opposite Of Strong

# Week = Fucking Sunday Through Saturday

# Were = Past Fucking Tense Of "Are"

# We're = We Fucking Are

# Ware = A Fucking Item To Sell

# Wear = To Fucking Put On Clothes

# Where = Specifies A Fucking Location

# Weather = What It's Fucking Like Outside

* Wether = A Fucking Male Sheep With Its Nuts Cut Off

# Whether = A Fucking Choice Between Alternatives

* Whither = A Fucking Archaic Word Meaning "To What Fucking Place/End/Point"

* Wither = To Fucking Shrink Back Or Shrivel Up

* Withers = The Fucking Ridge Between The Shoulder Blades Of A Fucking Horse

# Who's = Who Fucking Is

# Whose = Shows Fucking Possession

# Wood = What A Fucking Tree Trunk Is Made Of

# Would = Fucking Past Tense of "Will"

* Whore = A Fucking Prostitute Or Promiscuous Woman

* Wore = Fucking Past Tense Of "Wear"

# Your = Shows Fucking Possession

# You're = You Fucking Are

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by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Pardonmyfall11/28/17

Yes!

I think that as a writer, reader, or just a general fan of the written word, we tend to be more sensitive to misuse of grammar. Frequently, I have had to restrain myself from pointing out typos, grammaticalmore...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous11/18/17

THANK-YOU!

I have read multiple stories with such awful grammar, that even though I enjoyed the plot I couldn't finish them. One in particular comes to mind, where and author mistook suspender belt for garter belt.more...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous11/17/17

Wither/Writhe

I skimmed several stories by an author that constantly wrote withered instead of writhed.
wither-fucking dried and shriveled up
writhe-wiggling like a fucking worm.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous11/14/17

Affect/effect

That particular one has the confusion that there is a noun form of affect and a verb form of effect, so it's not quite as clear. Of course, the meanings are different in each way.

I hope my effortsmore...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous11/13/17

Reader not a writer

I learned something from your post. Although I knew the meaning and proper usage of 99.9% of the terms in your list I did learn the difference between blond and blonde. Thank you for that. As I read throughmore...

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