A Game for Learning about Yourself Ch. 05

Chapter 5 - Still Level Two

It was noon and Stephanie and Walzer thought it was time to get out of bed.

In Walzer's room the night before, they started with Stephanie using the vibrator to give herself her first orgasm of the evening in which she had watched other women have sex for hours. Walzer had asked for Stephanie to help herself first. "Fun for me to watch and I don't want the pressure of having to give you immediate relief."

"Yes, if I don't come soon, I'll probably explode. That would be messy," Stephanie replied.

When they had sex, Stephanie said that Walzer should not use a condom. "Bareback feels better to me and I should take whatever comes to me. I know you don't have VD. Also, I have a pregnancy fetish to add to all my other issues. Don't worry, I'm on the pill although I often think about just stopping that too."

Stephanie had her second orgasm of the evening. They pretty much fell asleep to wake about 10:00 and have sex another time. Stephanie had remarked that Walzer seemed not to be perverted enough to have anything to do with the Sportsman's Club, "You haven't even suggested sticking it up my butt once."

"I have my eccentricities. I've just never seen the glory in trying to use a hole that was not designed for the purpose when there is one specially designed for the purpose so near at hand. At least, if you're not worried about getting someone pregnant."

"I am quite certain I have more eccentricities than you," Stephanie said. "Naomi better not have discussed them at the Spielmann party, but you know I want to have sex with many men but a relationship with none of them, children but not a father for them."

"I can't understand your preference for men for sex. I've never wanted to have sex with a man. The part about not wanting a relationship with a man seems like wisdom to me. Men are disgusting," he said.

"I also want to be punished and humiliated for my craven desires. This is weird because I don't believe my desires are immoral. Something, though, from my childhood associates sex with something dirty that I should feel guilty about. The pregnancy fetish might be the most dangerous of all.

"Just what kind of psychiatrist are you anyway. Can you help me explain why part of me wants to be impregnated in front of a crowd?"

"I am not a psychiatrist at all," Walzer answered. "I am a biological anthropologist. We look at psychology only as it relates to evolution, biology and other fairly hard sciences. A lot of us pride ourselves on not offering pop psychology explanations for why people do things.

"By the way, I have a hard time considering wanting to get pregnant to be anything unusual. In Darwinian terms it is a lot harder to explain not wanting to get pregnant. As for wanting sex in quantity and in front of crowds, you'd fit right in with the bonobos. Your problem is that you are a human being in a culture that frowns on public sex, but I don't think that that is a necessary fact of the human psyche. Maybe someday we will find or develop a culture in which people all eat in private and fuck out in the open.

"A novelist, Gunter Grass, imagined in a novel, the Flounder, a tribe where people all ate in private but relieved themselves together. I find that idea smelly and unworkable. But just about every possible arrangement of living in groups has been practiced somewhere or other. Sexual practices that are completely abhorrent in one place or time are standard operating procedure in another. The idea that every heterosexual woman will find one heterosexual male with whom she will become a soul mate and raise a family in a strictly monogamous relationship may be as strange and unworkable for most people as the novelist's idea.

"Perhaps the conflict between your desires and your sense of self-respect needs to be resolved by giving up your attachments to current expectations rather than giving up your desires."

They stayed in bed another hour before having breakfast in the Thiesen Medical Supply lunchroom. Walzer explained that he was going back to Tübingen soon to teach a course. He probably would not be back to Nevada for a while. "If I want to watch women play games in their heads and with other women for the benefit and at the expense of men, I can do that In Baden Württemberg. I'm only here in Nevada because a close friend who is a member of the European Club, suggested that I come here. Maybe, though, you should visit Baden Baden. I'm sure the gambling-addicted lechers there would be thrilled to have such a beautiful woman entertain them. Just don't gamble for money. You do that, and you might wind up working in ein Puff, or should I say brothel, just to get home."

At the end of breakfast, Stephanie and Walzer went their separate ways not expecting to see each other again.

For a few days, Stephanie felt she had had enough of the Club. She certainly wasn't going to see Naomi. Naomi was at the Spielmann mansion probably being used like the Whore of Babylon. She thought from time to time of what it would have been like for her to have become the center at the Thiesen Medical Suppy facility or the object of lust in the Spielmann subterranean chamber and started salivating a bit like one of Pavlov's Dogs except she wasn't a dog and the moisture wasn't coming from her mouth.

Stephanie met with her friend Roberta but could not tell her what was on her mind or about her activities with the Sportsman's Club. Sensing that there was something up with Stephanie and that they were growing apart, Roberta volunteered that she had fantasies but did not try to live them out. Stephanie responded that she was following a calling and that one could not always play safe like Roberta had always done. "Risk taking was part of life. One can't really live until one stops fearing death," Stephanie said. Roberta worried.

Naomi called July 30 and said that she was having a small gathering at her office after work Tuesday evening, she really wanted Stephanie to come. They would probably go out for dinner afterward. When she arrived, Stephanie found that Maggie and Sarah were already there. All the early 30s childless fertility goddesses, Stephanie thought.

After a few pleasantries, Naomi took off her blouse and bra to reveal diamond nipple studs in each of her newly pierced nipples. "Chartotte Stein told me she wanted me to have them and wear them proudly. She said she'd send me a few more to try out after my nips heal fully."

"They are quite lovely," Sarah said, "but are you going to tell us what happened the other six days."

"Pretty much what was expected and much more. You girls are going to have to try it yourself, but Maggie and Stephanie only have one more chance at Level Two. Maybe you can make a side deal with Rolf Spielmann like I did?

"Anyway, I don't even remember the details of how many times I was whipped, shocked, paddled, bond in bizarre positions and fucked in bizarre positions. After the first day or so, I was in a sex intoxication, sort of a warm dazed stupor that I never wanted to end but knew it had to end because I am not a god. I don't know if a woman can get hopelessly drunk on sperm or orgasms, but I thought I was.

The last evening, I rode the Sybian saddle numerous times for the amusement of another Spielmann party about half the size of the one we attended that was attended entirely by men in leather and women in bondage clothing. A young woman named Cindy and I performed oral sex on each other for the crowd. I was bond for the use of everyone at the party. At times I felt like the only animal with a class full of spoiled children in a petting zoo. Livia flagellated me from my neck to me ankles. This was very humiliating and at times I felt like an idiot, but a very horny idiot. When someone penetrated my pussy with his cock, I instantly felt relieved and thankful. Much of the time I felt like I had been annihilated as a separate person and had melted into a great cosmic experience of lust.

"I was told that the Spielmann's have a lot of different parties and that there is more than one Club. Charlotte said that if I become a slave to the Club, I would be a plate in one of the nyotaimori dinners they hold each year although given the extent of my curves, there is not much useful surface area.

"A what plate? Maggie asked.

"Nyotaimori, there are nyotaimori restaurants in Japan, Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

"They also have Roman orgies organized with historical realism by Jennifer, aka Julia, Charlotte, aka Messalina, and a few of her graduate students, complete with pretending to crucify slaves and Greek wrestling and wrestling of kinds never recorded by any ancient Greek."

"Who is Jennifer or Julia?" Sarah asked.

"She is the older of the servants or slaves we saw at the Spielmann party," Naomie answered. Julia is also extremely good at cunnilingus I can tell you.

"What I'd like to know is how you came to come in second behind Madison," Stephanie asked.

"Now Steffi, that you will not hear that from me. To tell the truth, I don't know myself because I don't understand the game, chance, or myself that well. It's better if you don't try to analyze. I will admit that I did not play consistently to avoid strikes, and neither did you."

"Do you know anything about Madison?"

"My you are focused on different things than me, Steffi. I must admit that I was curious about Madison too and once asked Spielmann as to whether he'd made any side deals with her. He said that I hadn't paid to see those cards.

"The only thing I know is that Rolfi only screwed me once one of the days and explained that he was pretty tapped out from having spent much of the day with the smart whore who I took to mean Madison. I did not see Madison during the week I was at Spielmann's, but heard she grimaced terribly during her nipple piercing and said she'd gotten all she wanted and all she deserved."

"Yes, she's probably back in Pasadena counting her money," Stephanie said.

During dinner, Naomi said that although technically she might be able to play in Level Two again, she was going to stay out until Level Three to give others a chance. "By November, when the next Level Three game has started, my breasts should be fully operational. Not that I am going to wait that long to have sex again, just nothing of the rigorous type that might cause a problem if my breasts got too much use. In fact, I am going to the Level One game on August 12 as Rolfi's date. He assures me that he and his pals will use my boobs only gently after the game.

"But are you three going to play August 19 or August 26 before they close down Level Two for some time? I gather the selfish Thiesen Corporation is going to use its facility for Corporate business in September and October."

"You don't have to talk me into it, Naomi, I'm going August 19 if they can fit me in," Stephanie volunteered, slightly surprising herself. "I've played the game twice now and know much of what is going on. I don't have anything better to do that night for $14,000. I know that under the Level Two rules I am unlikely to lose if I don't want to do so as long as other women are playing to be the center. I don't even have to feel like I'm taking the money to provide sex. The chance of me providing sex is not very large.

"I must say, though, that I feel like I'm drifting in a canoe above Niagara Falls."

"Maybe it's by allowing yourself to drift you can avoid having to take responsibility for deciding how to reconcile your compelling desires and your confused principles?" Naomi jabbed.

Maggie said, "You two seem to enjoy picking on each other. I'm playing again because I want the money and I'd sure like to meet those guys again that I met after the July 22 game. Those guys were some of the best fuckers I've ever met. I gave Chuck the most appreciative blowjob ever for setting that up."

"I'm playing again for reasons I still don't understand," Sarah said, "unless it's that I'm addicted."

The August 19 Level Two game was a different experience for Stephanie. She did not have Naomi there. She now understood the rules and odds. She realized some of the implications of all the other little side games going on. She still did not know what she wanted, but she was less rattled by her emotions and the game. She could have fun.

This game the Club gave Stephanie Stark a sexy dirndl to wear. As Catherine Gluck and Sarah Schmidt also got dirndls, it looked like Oktoberfest or maybe more like St Pauli as they were showing much more boob and thigh that any normal Oktoberfest Fräulein.

While putting on her silk stockings, Shameless came up to her to whisper that there was a guy around the corner from the room that they were using for a dressing room who wanted a word with her. Oh boy, Stephanie thought, I can guess what this is about. Sounds fun.

Making sure not to be seen, the guy to whom she had been introduced as Turk said, "There's 1000 bucks in it for you if you don't show a number over a 9 for the first 5 rounds."

Stephanie could see how Turk might be able to use this to line up bets on her not striking out. She did not know the implications of her throwing away good numbers for five rounds. She had 8/14ths chance every deal of not getting a number over 9 to discard anyway. The odds of her not getting a number over 9 five times in a row, though, were pretty slim which was probably what the Turk was counting on to persuade people to bet as though Stephanie was hell bent on being the center. She was almost certainly taking a few strikes if she agreed to this deal. Her mind turned to putty and she said, "Sure, but how do I get the 1000 bucks?"

"If you aren't the center, meet me in the bar after the game. If you are, you'll get the money after your nipple piercing," Turk answered.

As she walked onto stage and took a sofa seat with Sarah, Stephanie was momentarily shocked to hear herself introduced as Stephanie but then remembered that was part of the Level Two rules. It probably didn't matter unless somehow the tapes of these games made it onto the internet. It would make it harder to deny it was her if anyone claimed it was. There was a film being made of a woman on stage about to strip and risk becoming the center of a week-long gang bang who not only looked just like Stephanie, she also was named Stephanie.

After she took a new number on the second deal although she had gotten a 13 as her first number, she realized she had been naïve to assume that Turk was getting her to look like she wanted to be the center so he could persuade guys to bet on her becoming while he bet the other way. It was just as likely Turk was betting on her to become the center and he'd just gotten her to take strikes she should have avoided.

As fate would have it, she took fours strikes during the first five rounds when she probably should have only had 2 given the numbers she knew she'd been dealt. On the sixth and seventh rounds, she was ready to hold anything above a 5 but wouldn't you know it, she got a 2 and a 3 the first deal those rounds and took strikes both times.

Stephanie was in first at 6 strikes and would begin removing clothing with her next strike. Sarah was at four as was Catherine. Destinee and Ami, though, were both at 5 strikes

Shameless, looking squarely at Stephanie, said that everyone who has been to Hamburg knows St. Pauli is a Red-light district and a St Pauli girl must be a whore. Stephanie couldn't deny that she deserved that remark and hoped Turk had bet on her not being the center and was at least suffering some anguish.

Stephanie felt happy to be able to keep a 10 dealt her the next round and Ami and Destinee caught her at six strikes. The next few rounds seemed to go slowly as clothing was removed with Stephanie, Ami and Destinee frequently taking a strike together.

At the next break, Destinee was in first at 11 having taken off most of the ghetto street walker clothing that some unenlightened Club member had decided was her proper costume for the event. Stephanie saw Ami and Destinee show a number over 8 only once or twice and she was pretty certain that they were trying to be centers although the pretty Chinese woman and the serious black women did not seem like they were the type to set themselves up for a gang bang.

Stephanie again thought it was perhaps kind of prejudiced of her to think that women of different races could not be as perverted as upper middle-class white women like her. Everyone has an equal right to be a twisted, woman with a hyper-strong sex drive combined with a bad case of low self-esteem and masochism, she mused to herself as she got back on the sofa.

But what am I going to do? I fulfilled my deal with Turk. It looks like I should not loose with two women apparently going flat out to get to be the center. I guess there is a chance. Ok, to keep it interesting I will follow the rule of always taking a new card. I know that has me losing almost 60% of the time on average, Stephanie thought.

Taking off the clothing in a sexy manner took time but otherwise the game now moved quickly with three women playing in a manner that they would take strikes. Destinee and Ami were in a dead heat while Stephanie was close behind. Shameless called for another break with Ami and Destinee down to their bras and panties.

After the break, Stephanie took a strike but Ami and Destinee both showed numbers over 8. Stephanie had a little fright. Did Ami and Destinee make some new deal over the break? I just don't know. Do I really want to get whipped, subjected to electrical shocks and fucked in front of all these people?

Roger Johnson is probably in the audience. Won't that be fun, trying to be professional at the bank with Johnson looking at me and smiling while thinking about how I looked while having an orgasm with a cock stuffing every available orifice?

I bet Shameless knows what is going on. Shameless almost confirmed this by saying, "Wouldn't it be fun if we had three sluts go out at 24 at the same time? Don't worry folks, we will find plenty of cocks for all of them and we will not tire from the spankings and other assorted painful amusement. And I think all three of these sluts deserve something extra. Maybe some well placed hot sauce?"

It looked like Shameless might get her wish as Ami, Destinee and Stephanie all went topless the next round. Stephanie thought the crowd must be tired of seeing her boobs by now and felt a need to thrust out her nipples toward the crowd as she stretched her arms back. Destinee went further a deal later. She did the most sexy little shimmy as she took off her panties to display her sex to the audience.

Stephanie had stopped following any consistent rule at all. Whether she took a new card or not was as random as the numbers. Stephanie first thought she was playing with the bettors and fucking with their minds. But later she thought, no, they probably expect me to act this way. I'm sure they all think I'm crazy.

Ami and Destinee were at 23 and Stephanie was at 22. Stephanie knew the other women did not matter. This game was about over. On the very next hand, Ami, Destinee and Stephanie all took strikes. There had been a tie, but Stephanie wasn't part of it.

The faces of the two women becoming centers were interesting as men rearranged the furniture. Stephanie thought Destinee looked like she had just won the prize of a lifetime. Ami looked like she had done what she was told to do and would continue to do it no matter where it took her. Stephanie thought she might be reading too much into the fact that the women had hit 24 first and showed every sign of having meant to do so. What do I really know?

It was a bit different, though, from earlier gangbangs in that most of the guys having sex with Destinee wore hoods. If Stephanie had watched more carefully, she would have noticed that everyone who had PIV sex with Destinee had his face concealed in some manner.