A Gentlemen’s Agreement

"So, for maybe the last six months, we've been doing it on the regular, twice a week after school. It's not a threat to your marriage, she loves you and wants to grow old with you. It's just a bit of harmless fun for an old man before he exits this world."

"I see. Do you love her."

"Sure, she's a peach. You're a lucky guy to be with her."

"Matter of opinion, I suppose. What's this about her having a kid, though? She hasn't mentioned anything to me about having kids."

"I don't know nothing about having kids. She's on the pill."

"The messages you and she exchanged via morse code say differently." He swallowed hard.

"Are you sure you want to hear this? I don't want to piss you off."

"I've known for a while now. I'm over all of it. I just want to know the truth."

"Well, I thought it would be pretty cool to have another kid. My daughters are estranged, and, frankly, both are rude bitches, so I promised her to leave a big hunk of money for her and the kid when I die. I don't want to break up your marriage, this is just a little dalliance. I was hoping that her first born would be mine, and then the two of you could have a few of your own later. She didn't like that idea, but you know her, she can't say no. So she agreed to go off her pills and have sex with both you and me. That way, no one, not even her, would know who the father was. Might be mine, might be yours, but as long as no one knows, everything is good. Personally, though, I'm a bit worried that she's trying to scam me on that, get me to give her the money for your kid."

That was news to me. Not shocking, but disappointing. So I started the next part of my plan.

"So, Joe, here's the thing. I'm not really good about sharing my toys or my woman."

"Well, bit late for that, mate."

"No, not really. Here's what I suggest. A gentleman's agreement. You take her. I don't want a wife that will share herself with other men just to be nice. You've been alone since your wife, passed." He got a sad look when I said that. I doubt he knew that I knew that his wife walked in on him with another woman, left the house in a fit, and subsequently died in a car accident. The other driver was drunk, and probably at fault; Joe got a huge settlement from the insurance company, and kept all of the sordid business out of it, or so he thought, until I investigated it. I also suspected, reading between the lines, that his daughters knew exactly what happened, and blamed him for their mother's death. Further, I also knew of two paternity suits against him, one before his wife's death, the other after. Joe's been a busy little beaver (or, rather, a busy little beaver hunter).

"So you take her, and when you kick the bucket, maybe I'll take her back then." His face lit up.

"You'd do that?"

"It seems appropriate. But I'd expect something from you in return."

"Like what?"

"Something appropriate to a gentleman's agreement. Oh, I don't know, maybe a very expensive bottle of scotch." He agreed in a heartbeat. I went to pay the check, but he picked it up, we walked a half block to a liquor store, and I obtained a $350 bottle of fifty year old scotch in exchange for my wife.

* * * * *

"So, what can I get for this. My fiance, it turns out, has been playing around on the side."

"Let me have a look at it." The jewelry store clerk took out some specialized equipment, examined the ring carefully, sighed, and then looked up at the woman.

"The ring work is good, the silver is acceptable quality. I can offer you a hundred and fifty dollars for this piece."

"That's a one point five two carat diamond. It has to be worth more than that."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, that's a one point five two carat cubic zirconia. Also, the cut angle is too steep, so it should have a reduction in effective size, down to perhaps 1.35 carats or so."

"Cubic zirconia." She dropped her head down, and spoke quietly, to herself, "Fuck."

She lifted her head up again, and spoke, "Fine, I'll take it. Cash, if you would."

* * * * *

Naomi arrived home from her second weekend in a row tending to her father, to find her brother Bill at her house, along with her husband.

"Hi, Bill. What a pleasant surprise."

"Not really."

"What do you mean?"

"Your husband says that Charlie was busy taking care of his sick family last weekend, and you took care of dad then, as well as this weekend." Her face fell. "Oddly enough, I visited Anna and the kids last weekend, to sort out a plumbing problem for them because Charlie was taking care of dad. They seemed perfectly healthy to me."

"I, um,"

"Is it true, Naomi?"

She stood there, silent, biting her lower lip.

"I told him everything." I offered. "All about it. He just wants to hear it from you."

"Oh shit. What did he tell you?"

"Altogether too much. How could you do this to him, Naomi?"

"I, it, I don't know, it just happened. I ..."

"So you 'just happened' to fall down on some old geezer's dick? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh God. Fine. I thought Joe was a nice harmless old man, but in the end he seduced me. I've been having an affair with him. But I don't love him. It was pity sex."

"And you love your husband?"

"Yes, very much." She turned to me, "Please, dear, can you forgive me." I didn't respond.

"Look, I'm sorry. Naomi, you're my sister, and I love you, but I'm pretty pissed off at you right now." He turned to me. "You're still my best friend. I'm sorry this happened, and I won't let it come between us. I know it wasn't your fault. I'll let the two of you sort this out. Just be fair with her. Goodbye." Bill stalked out of the house, and drove off.

After the door closed, Naomi came over to me, looked down at my feet, and spoke.

"I'm so sorry. It just got out of control. I didn't want to hurt him, I felt sorry for him. I, I don't know what I was thinking. I'll stop immediately. It's over, I want to work on us, well, on me first, you didn't do this, I did. Can you forgive me?"

"If this was a drunken aberration, I could forgive you, but it would be hard. But you did it over and over, the affair has been going on for over a year."

"Not a year, we didn't, less than a year."

"Six months of intercourse, but other inappropriate things before that."

"Once it happened, it was easy to do it again, I'm so sorry."

"Again, if it was just a six month thing, I could forgive you. If you were truly sorry,"

"I am, so sorry."

"If you were truly sorry, maybe we could get past that. But what I can't get past is that you wanted to have his kid and have me raise it as mine."

"I, no, I didn't, I, what are you talking about."

"Yesterday, I had a nice long conversation with Joe. Once I made it clear I wasn't going to try and hurt him, he shared everything with me. Even the baby roulette. You have a kid, not telling me that he might be the father, or I might be the father. That, I can't move past."

"But it's all right, there's no kid, I was just saying that stuff to him to make him happy."

"So you're still on the pill, then, right?"

She didn't answer, but bit her lower lip again.

"Well, you'll be pleased to know that Joe and I worked out an arrangement. You should go to him now."

"What?"

"You heard me. Go to him now. Have dinner with him. Spend the night. Stay there for a while. See how that works out."

"I don't want to do that. I live here, with you."

"Not anymore. I made a gentlemen's agreement with him. You're his."

"You can't do that! I'm a person, not chattel to be passed off in some stupid deal."

"Well, the deal is done. He's expecting you. Don't disappoint him."

"Fine," she bellowed out, "If you want to be an asshole about it, I'll go. Maybe you'll come to your senses in a few days. But don't hold this against me -- you told me to go. Let me go get some stuff, and I'll be out of your way." She marched upstairs.

Two minutes later, she marched back downstairs.

"Where's my clothes, and makeup and all that?"

"It's already at Joe's house, waiting for you."

"Fine, two can play at this game. Goodbye. Call me when you get your head out of your ass. Oh, just out of curiosity, what did you get from this 'gentleman's arrangement'?"

"A bottle of fifty year old Scotch."

Her face turned red before she stormed out the door to her car. After she left, I got my toolbox out, and proceeded to change the last lock, on the door from the garage to the house.

* * * * *

"Rachel, you've been great, thanks for putting up with me in a pinch."

"Oh, think nothing of it. That's what buds do for each other."

"Well, see, here's the thing. My back is killing me. Your couch isn't a great bed."

"Sorry hon, it's all I've got."

"Well, my old friend Livie, Olivia, that is, has a big apartment with a guest room she's not using. She's offered to rent the room to me, I'll have a real bed and closet and all that good stuff."

"Ah, so you want to move out?"

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"And you were afraid I'd be upset with you for leaving?"

"A little, I ..."

"Don't be, honey. You set up a better arrangement for ya, ya go. If that doesn't work out, c'mon back, or not. Just don't be a stranger. Hanging with you has been great, aside from your being miss mopey some of the time." Rachel wrapped Karen in a big hug, which was just what she needed. (Rachel, or Karen needed, you might ask. Well, both, really.)

"Let me know when you want to move, I can lend a pair of hands and a not sore back."

* * * * *

"Thank you all for your energy, and sharing your practice with me. Namaste."

"Namaste." the class replied to Kara. I liked her yoga class, and had been going for the last four weeks, since Naomi had moved over the hill to live with over the hill Joe. She was pissed when she couldn't get back into the house, pissed that I wouldn't take her calls, pissed that I didn't seem to care about her at all. Bill told me that Joe was kind to her and supportive, and she was functional at work, but something was off about her. The next weekend, still at Joe's house, she was served with divorce papers, and then, according to Bill, it sunk in that she had well and truly ruined our marriage. She was alternately sad, needy, and withdrawn.

I, on the other hand, was moving on. Getting out, going to yoga class, something I had done a lot of before Naomi and I connected again in graduate school. Naomi was too embarrassed to wear yoga pants, and would have none of it, so my practice fell to the wayside. But after just a couple of weeks back, I was feeling more limber and relaxed, as well as enjoying my newfound freedom, albeit while missing my soon to be ex-wife.

As usual, I took my time cleaning up my stuff, and I was the last student in the room. Kara was still folding up her mat after talking to some of the students. I walked over to her, in that beautiful calm state after a good yoga class, and spoke softly to her.

"Is this your last class? Are you going home now, or do you have another class?"

She turned to me, and then broke down sobbing.

"I'm sorry, was it something I said?"

"No, no, it's fine, it's not you," she got out, trying to get her emotions under control. "I just, my boyfriend," and then she broke down again.

"Would you like a hug?"

She didn't answer, but stepped towards me, and pressed her head gently into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her gently, and chastely.

"It's all right to let it out. It's healthier than keeping it in. Trust me, I know."

After a few minutes, she broke off the hug. "Thank you. I needed that."

"I think I did too. My romantic life has also taken a turn for the worse lately. Look, would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something?"

"Well, all right, I suppose, but I don't drink coffee."

"Hah. Neither do I. 'Or something,' then. How about some tea?"

"Tea would be lovely. There's this nice place just around the corner. I think it's still open."

We gathered our stuff, threw on coats, and walked to the tea emporium. I thought we'd just have a quick cup, but we closed the place down. She told me how her fiance was cheating on her. I told me how my wife had an affair and how I kicked her out. She was delightful company, and we both unloaded a lot of baggage, laughed, commiserated, and started healing. As the waitress asked us to settle up, Kara handed me a piece of paper.

"Thanks. That was what I needed," she said. "Let's do this again, preferably before next week."

I glanced at the piece of paper, it just said:

Karen xxx/xxx-xxxx

"I thought your name was Kara."

"They want us to use more exotic names at the studio. John is Johann, Andy is Boomer, Rachel is Roche, etc. They say it makes us unique, more memorable."

* * * * *

School was about to let out, and this time of year was always special. Naomi would take a few days and decompress from the year, mentally say goodbye to her students, and get her head out of her school space. Then we would reconnect, and those times were always special. I wonder how she was doing in that place with Joe. Reports from Bill indicated that Joe was delighted, but Naomi was not doing very well. While I hated what she did to me, I'd known Naomi all my life, and I wanted to know what happened to her. Bill kept me updated.

* * * * *

"What are you doing down there?"

"Well, I was going to eat you out, if you don't mind. You gave me a great blowjob, I thought I'd return the favor."

"I thought real guys didn't do that. It's like shooting cum in a woman's face, it only happens in porn films, or to sexual deviates."

"I see." Karen's new boyfriend paused, and then continued. "Who told you that?"

"Well, Roger, and my high school boyfriends, both of them."

"And that explains why Roger and your high school boyfriends were not good lovers."

"What, so you'll do that, seriously? Isn't it gross?"

"Not at all. From the little I've seen of it, you have some beautiful lady parts down there, and I'm excited to see them up close, and get to know them better, hopefully a lot better."

"I, um, all right. What should I do?"

"Enjoy it. Do whatever comes naturally to you."

He started by rubbing the insides of her thighs gently with the backs of his fingernails, teasing her arousal up. Then gentle pressure around her outer lips ramped her excitement up further. By the time he had his lips on her nubbin, she was wild with arousal.

Apparently, what came naturally to her at that point was a guttural stream of consciousness growl, "OhholyfuckthatsgoodsogoodohmyGodyouohGodfuckthatssogoodsogoodevenbetterthanAliciamyfuckingGodyoureamazingdontstopohGodpleaseohrightthereholyfuckrighttheredontstopwherehasthisbeenallmyfuckinglifeohGodohGodaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhohohohohoh..."

Later on, she asked "Did that take a lot out of you? Was it hard work?"

"No, it wasn't that hard. I rather enjoyed it, and it sounds like you did too."

"God yes. Here's the thing, I need you to do that again tonight. We'll set goals for tomorrow after that."

They didn't have intercourse that night, they were both too worn out from the oral attention they had given each other, but their first time for that was soon to come.

* * * * *

Six months after Naomi moved out, we went into the lawyers to sign the divorce papers. Naomi was visibly pregnant. I worried a little that the kid might be mine, but given her shenanigans, I thought it was far more likely Joe's. She was very withdrawn, very quiet, signed what she was told to, and never looked me in the face. I didn't want to be hostile, but I really had nothing left to say to her, so it was, well, not cold, but very cool in there. I did give her a generous settlement, while I got to keep the house. I had promised Bill I would take care of her, and that was something I could do easily.

That night, Karen and I celebrated my divorce being final with a nice dinner, and a roll in the hay. In terms of body type, Karen couldn't be any more different than Naomi. Karen was lean and muscular, with a tight bubble butt, apple sized boobs that stood out a lot from her ribcage, wavy black hair that she lets grow down to the bottom of her shoulder blades, dark brown eyes, and naturally tanned skin. Perhaps her only detracting feature is her large nose, but it fits in well with the rest of her face. She has a fair amount of Native American ancestry on both sides of her family, as well as some Italian in there. But as I did with Naomi, I could easily overlook any potential flaws because I was falling in love with the whole package.

But that night, Karen blew my mind. Oh, she blew me in the more sexual way too, but that night she went above and beyond. When we were both aroused and ready to screw, she had me lay on my back in bed. She then put one foot between my lower legs, and used her other leg to lower herself onto my dick. Once there, she put her other foot on my shoulder, doing a full split with my cock buried completely inside her.

"So, you have a choice. You can look at my boobs and my face, or," She pivoted her waist around without raising herself up at all, turning a full one hundred and eighty degrees until she was facing the other way, then turned her head back towards me, "you can look at my butt and back and all my hair." The twisting action felt amazing; her pussy was already squeezed tightly around me, and the shifting motion of her hips felt incredible.

"I'm not sure. What are the choices again?"

She pivoted again. "Front,," and another pivot, "Or back." Pivot. "Boobs,," another pivot, "Or butt. Well?"

"That's amazing. Just keep doing that, I don't want to pick one." She did, and eventually, I came as hard as I ever had in my life. Yogic sex is phenomenal.

* * * * *

Just over four months after the divorce, Naomi had a healthy baby boy. She and Joe named him Devin. Superficially, things were going all right on the other side of the hill. Joe seemed happy, although he wasn't much help with the baby, but Naomi wasn't herself. Bill reported that she was starting to get snippy with everyone except Joe and the baby. Her maternity leave lasted almost eighteen months.

* * * * *

Karen and I were in my bed, snuggling in post-coital bliss. I was on my back, she on her side with her head on my shoulder, one breast pressed into the back of my ribcage, the other hanging just above my chest, her arm under the pillow under my neck, her other hand gently tracing loops on my abdomen. I gently opened with something that had been quietly resting in the back of my mind for some time.

"So, the first time I ate you out, in the middle of your incoherent exultations of pleasure, you mentioned something about 'even better than Alicia'. What was that about."

She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them and spoke, "Well, you told me everything about your breakup with your ex-wife, I suppose it's fair that I tell you all about mine."

"You did. Roger was fishing for more girlfriends, just like he fished for you, and you, appropriately, decided that kind of a relationship wasn't for you."

"Yes, I did. But the woman that he gave those flowers to, Alicia, I met with her."

"That must have been awkward."

"Well, yes, very much so, but not the way you think. I'll tell you about it if you promise it won't hurt our relationship."

"Now I'm a bit worried. What happened?"

"Just hear me out, don't interrupt, and we can process it afterwards."

* * * * *

"Come in, Karen. Would you like a drink? I have a nice red here. It was a gift from Roger, but I'd rather share it with you."

"I could use a drink. That sounds lovely." She poured two glasses, and handed one to Karen.

"So, you're engaged to Roger. I had no idea he was with anyone. My apologies."

"It's okay. I'm sure he didn't tell you he was with someone. Well, I suppose that's not even right," Karen took a deep swig of her wine, "You know, 'cause he never was really with me, at least in his mind."