A Gift from The Bard

Congratulations again and I look forward to seeing you on Saturday.

Best wishes,

Tati

Oh, that will be a bit difficult: my first exam is a week today, with another three exams during that week and two more the week after, so being back home again for the next two weekends isn't ideal. However, if I want this part... I didn't think this through, did I? The problem is that, now I've been offered it, I really, really, really want to do it and I don't think I can let it go, even without the added pressure of what Emmy wants. I guess this is what they call making sacrifices for one's art. In my case, the sacrifices will be sleep and the loss of what limited social life I have for the next few weeks!

Okay, if I'm going to do this I'd better reply to Tati...

Chapter 5: Starting something new

Suzie

I suspect I'm going to grow very used to the slightly dank, musty smell of this room as I understand this is where all our indoor rehearsals will be held. I wonder will I grow accustomed to the suspicious, disapproving looks of some of the other cast members; clearly my casting has upset some people. I am seated beside Emmy who has come with me, two new girls together. She says she's come to get a 'feel and vibe' from the play to help her with ideas for the scenery and, while I'm grateful for her company, I suspect she's going to get pretty bored.

I look around the ring of seated fellow cast members, recognising no one apart from Tati and a chap who auditioned just before me and, if I recall, wanted the part of Claudio. My eyes pass over a honey-brown haired girl and immediately flick back. Wow, she's gorgeous! She looks up, meeting my gaze and making my heart quicken. I give her a nervous smile which she returns with more confidence. My eyes continue around the circle and another face catches my eye but for very different and unpleasant reasons. I glance away before he sees me looking and lean towards Emmy. "The young guy over to the left, four to the right of Tati; is that who I think it is?" I see her head turn and quickly turn back with a gasp.

"Oh -- my -- god! From school... Danny whatshisname, err..."

"Jackson," I supply in a flat tone.

"Wasn't he the one who..."

"Yes!" I hiss, cutting her off before words like 'groped' or 'hands in knickers' or 'humiliate' leave her mouth. The memory of his fingering me in the garden at a party -- and then boasting to his friends that he'd proved what a fat slut I was -- still burns me with shame. The fact that I had my revenge later that evening isn't likely to make the inevitable meeting later any easier, particularly as throughout our remaining time at school we had both deliberately and scrupulously ignored and avoided one another.

Just then Tati calls for attention and suggests we all introduce ourselves, starting with our character names, then our real names and finally something about ourselves including what other acting we've done. My guess is that this last suggestion is primarily for my benefit as the chatter beforehand strongly suggests the others mostly know one another.

At least she doesn't start with me but leads off by introducing herself and listing the various plays she's produced, which includes the production of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' that Emmy and I saw two summers ago. Suddenly I feel very nervous, remembering the quality of that production and the standards the Hawsley Payers evidently aim for. Tati gestures to another woman diagonally across the circle from her.

"Hello everyone," the next woman says. She is a pale-haired attractive woman in her late twenties. "I'm Lucy Quinn and I'll be playing Margaret. I do hair and make-up mostly, as you know, but this will be my second time on stage with the 'Players' after playing Mary Crawford in 'Mansfield Park' at Easter the year before last."

Tati nods to a black haired man across from Lucy. He has a close-cropped beard and slightly Mediterranean complexion. He smiles, revealing startlingly white teeth. "Gio Perez, hello all, playing the villain of the play, just for a change!" he grins and the laughter suggests that bad guys are his forte. "Okay, so this time I'll be Don John. Past roles have included Fagin in 'Oliver', Shylock in 'The Merchant of Venice' and Dracula in, what was it? Oh yes, 'Dracula'!"

"Joe." Tati's voice cuts through the gentle laughter. I follow the tuning heads to a tall, well-built man of, at a guess, around thirty and sat three seats to the right of Emmy. His hair is quite long, an auburn red, and his eyes grey-blue.

"Good afternoon, everyone," he begins in a refined baritone voice, "I'm Joe Radmeyer. I know some of you but not all, by any means. This will only be my second play; I played Oberon in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' a couple of years ago." I recall him, or rather Oberon, bare-chested under a leather waistcoat and crowned with what appeared to be mistletoe; he'd been very, very good. "I shall be playing Benedick in this production." Oh god; if the part hadn't been enough of a challenge on its own, I'm going to have to hold my own against this eloquent, handsome and, frankly, intimidating man. I look down as I feel Emmy take my hand, apparently sensing my apprehension.

I take a deep breath; no, this is old, timid Suzie thinking and I am not her any longer. More, I will become Beatrice: intelligent, witty and indomitable. Still, I squeeze Emmy's hand back in gratitude for her concern. I give her a little smile. "Would he do if you're looking for a boyfriend?" I whisper, nodding towards Joe, and she smiles.

"He's very handsome; a bit old, maybe."

I focus again on what's happening and another man is speaking, although I missed his name "And Tati has been such a sweetie letting me play Claudio!" he declares before launching into a long list of productions and the parts he's played. As he rattles on I can see he's handsome, as the part of Claudio expects, but in a slightly androgynous way that contrasts with Joe's definite masculinity, though I hope he sounds less camp when acting. I wonder whether, if they switched roles, kissing this lad would be easier than kissing Joe. "Thank you, Chris," Tati says when he pauses, possibly to prevent his list going on forever. "Now, Suzie?" It takes a moment, and Emmy's nudge, to make me recognise my name. I clear my throat and fight to keep the nervousness from my voice.

"Uh, hello everyone. I'm Suzie Peterson and I'm playing the part of Beatrice. I'm a student at Bristol University where I'm studying English. I'm a member of the Drama Society there and my last role was Edna the maid in 'An Inspector Calls'." I hesitate, seeing all eyes fixed on me and some not especially friendly. I daren't look in Dan's direction as I suspect he'll be giving me a particularly venomous glare. "I know I'm a newcomer to this Company but I'm fully aware of how good your productions are and I intend to live up to those high standards."

Tati gives an approving nod and smile as she thanks me before calling on the next person, a much older chap, Peter Blackmore, who is to play Leonato. I feel my racing heart begin to slow as Emmy whispers "Well done, Suze." As a result, I'm not paying as much attention as I should but the new voice snaps me back to attention: Danny is talking.

"...be playin' the part of Borachio. I've been in one other production: the Christmas panto, 'Snow White', as one of the un-Dwarfs. I, er, I admit I didn't really enjoy Shakespeare at school but I'm definitely looking forward to playing a more, like... complicated part." Somehow, the part of Borachio seems appropriate for him; Borachio, the man who causes the shaming of Hero as, in today's parlance, a slut. He turns his head and, shockingly, I see fear in his face as he looks across at me.

The introductions continue with the gorgeous girl I noticed at the beginning and who, I have to admit, I've been eyeing frequently since. "Hi, I'm Beth, Beth Norton and I am going to be playing Hero. I've played in quite a few roles in different theatre groups and this is my second with Hawsley after being Fanny Price in 'Mansfield Park'." She looks around the circle. "I'm really looking forward to playing alongside some of you again and getting to know those I've not met before." She looks at Emmy and me with a smile that seriously messes with my lust.

The introductions continue but, to be honest, I'm beginning to suffer from name-overload, an affliction that seems to be affecting others too as more and more muted conversations break out. Tati gives the occasional disapproving look but also tries to hurry things along. At the end, after the cast have all said their pieces, Tati briefly introduces the stage manager, Lance, the head of wardrobe, Jacqueline, and Nick who's in charge of set design and construction. "He'll be your boss," I tease in a whisper, earning a nudge in the ribs.

"I'll bet he's less scary than Tati!" she retorts in an undertone.

"Touché!" I laugh.

"Right," Tati announces, "some ground rules as Lance gives out the scripts. First the obvious and routine: write your names on scripts please and don't lose them! Secondly, can you each ensure you have a pencil with you too, so you can annotate your scripts for notes and blocking etcetera? Third, a courtesy really, but please do be here on time, not just for my sake but for everyone's and, for the same reason please let me or someone know if you're unable to make a rehearsal.

"Now, if there are no questions, we will start the read-through of act one. So that's Peter, Tom, Suzie and Beth in scene one; okay? Good. Right, everyone... Peter, when you're ready." There's a general shuffling as people open scripts and I hastily scan down to locate my first line, breathing to settle my nerves as I want to make a good impression right from the start.

Peter clears his throat. "I learn in this letter," he begins in a disconcerted voice, "that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night... to Messina."

"He is very near by this," answers Tom, a man who's a bit older than me and with a rather straggly beard that, like his hair, is a dark ginger colour, in the part of the Messenger. "He was not three leagues off when I left him..."

Beth

I look down the script as old Peter starts reading and turn over the page; just one line for me in this act. I do love acting and people say that Hero is a great part. The trouble is that I found some of the old-fashioned language in 'Mansfield Park' a bit tricky at times and some of the stuff here -- how does anyone understand it?

I look over at the new girl, Suzie as she takes a breath and looks up, towards John. "I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no?" she asks carelessly but the way she says Signior Mountanto I can tell it's a sarcastic nickname.

"I know none of that name, lady" John replies. "There was none such in the army of any sort."

"What is he that you ask for, niece?" asks Peter, I mean Leonato, in a voice like my Dad used to use when he was fed up with my sister and me messing around.

"My cousin means Signior Benedick of Pad... wah." I stumble over the place name but John carries on regardless, which is a relief.

"It's Pad-you-ah, Padua," corrects Chris in a whisper close to my ear. "Not Pad-wah". I suppose I should be grateful for him telling me how to pronounce the name but I can feel my cheeks burn.

The read-through continues and I have not a single word in the rest of act one, though Suzie as Beatrice looks at me for some of her lines. I can't help envying the way Suzie reads so easily and as if she understands every word.

Things don't get much better in act two when I fluff another word: melancholy. How was I supposed to know the 'ch' is pronounced as a 'k'? The break for refreshments at the end of act three is a relief, though after both Bert and Lucy 'helpfully' point out my mispronunciations, I want to be on my own as I drink my tea.

"Um, hi," a nervous voice makes me turn and there is new-girl Suzie.

"Are you going to tell me how to say 'Padua' too?" I ask defensively.

"No," she answers uncertainly. "I, er, guess that was the first time you've seen the word?"

"Yeah; 'melancholy' too... I don't even know what that means!"

"It means sadness and gloominess. Think of Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh." I wonder for a moment if she's teasing me by using a children's cartoon as the example.

"Like, depressed?" I ask and she nods. "Thanks. You seem to understand all this really well."

"Well, I have been studying the play at University so I guess that gives me an advantage." She gives a little smile but there is still a shyness about her. "I... I mean, if there's anything you want me to help you with, in the play I mean, then you only need to ask."

"Thanks," I tell her. "I love acting but I find the oldy-worldy language in Shakespeare hard to understand sometimes."

"It can be hard, although seeing it performed helps," she says. "I guess that means we, as actors, have to understand it though. I'm Suzie, by the way."

"I'm Beth; actually, it's Elizabeth but that just sounds sooo old-fashioned, don't you think?"

"Well, maybe a bit," she agrees. "'Beth' suits you better." There's a moment's silence. Suzie seems nice but definitely shy. It's quite sweet really and definitely makes a change: most of my theatre friends are loud and chatty.

"So, did you mean it? About helping me with the words and stuff?"

"Sure. I mean, we've quite a few scenes together so..."

"So you don't want me messing up."

"No!" she immediately complains. "Well, maybe a bit because we all want the play to be good. No, what I meant was that Hero and Beatrice are close in the play, cousins but almost like sisters, so it'd be good too, I don't know, get to know you I suppose."

"That's true. Anyway, I don't want to mess up either." Just then Suzie's friend comes over to us. I wonder if she's here because Suzie is shy.

"Oh, Beth this is my friend Emily. She persuaded me to audition and she's helping with the set." There's a funny look on Emily's face as she looks at Suzie.

"Hi, Beth," she says. "I've just been talking to Nick, the guy in charge of building the set. I mentioned to him what you told me, you know, about Tati wanting the audience to feel they're in the set with the actors and suddenly he's asking me what ideas I have that could make that work! God, Suze, I'm so glad you explained the plot to me as he seems to think I ought to know the play inside out!" I cannot help laughing at the look of panic on the girl's face.

"That's because it's Nick's first time in charge, or so Lucy told me. He's had to step in at short notice because the guy who was supposed to be doing it broke his leg and is laid up. Is this your first time working backstage?"

"Well, I did some scenery painting at school once and helped make a giant pencil for a character that was a mouse who could talk and write, but that's all. He had this sketch that showed this sort of balcony with a wall and window and stairs up to it... I mean that's like major construction!"

"Well, it can't be all down to you and, er, Nick, can it? There must be others," Suzie tells her.

"Well, he said something about a 'stage crew'," Emily admits.

"It'll probably be the same lot I met when I did 'Mansfield Park'," I tell her. "There's, I'm not sure, eight or ten of them, mostly older blokes, who build all the sets. I seem to remember something in the newsletter about Claire and Steve, the couple who did most of the arty-bits for the sets, moving away a few months ago so I guess they'll be very happy if you can paint and do the more artistic stuff."

"See, no need to worry," says Suzie as she puts an arm over Emily's shoulders, "you just need to come up with, I don't know, things you can make that make it feel like a rich man's garden in Sicily." I don't comment. I'm pretty sure Sicily is in Italy but it might be Spain, I suppose; something else to find out so I don't make a fool of myself.

"Okay... so like those tall, pointed trees, er, cypresses? Or a fountain... no, the noise of the water wouldn't be good all through the play."

"You'd have everyone wanting to pee!" I laugh.

"I was thinking more of the noise making it difficult to hear the actors," she smiles," but the peeing might be a problem too. I could make a statue though."

"What about Venus," Suzie suggests.

"I was thinking of Cupid because your character mentions him with the 'bird bolt', which sounds like some sort of bow. Trust you to want a naked female!" Emily laughs but Suzie doesn't look happy. I want to ask what she meant but just then Tati calls everyone to sit down again as it's time to continue the read-through.

Emily

I'm not sure taking on this set building was such a good idea. Partly it's a distraction when I need to get my portfolio finished and my stuff ready for the end of year exhibition and partly because I'm worried that I'm going to screw things up with Suzie. She was so pissed off with me yesterday for the female nude comment I made that she'd barely talk to me. She wouldn't come to the pub afterwards either. I know, as she said, that she has to study and to get back to Bristol but she could have stayed for one drink. I did my best to apologise, of course, but she was too angry so I'm writing her a letter.

I think I know what the problem is: she fancies Beth -- which I can understand because Beth is really pretty -- and Suzie's afraid my comment could have upset Beth. Actually, she probably doesn't want me outing her as a lesbian to the whole cast either, now I think about it. I must be more careful in future; I must tell her I promise that in the letter.

With Suzie gone I didn't much want to go to the pub either but Nick said he really wanted to talk with me and Tati so I felt I had no choice. Actually, it was good that I did; Suzie had been right about the garden idea and while cypress trees might be a bit too tricky, Tati loved the idea of a statue. When I asked if she'd prefer Venus or Cupid she said since the play is all about love, why not both? She's planning an aisle through the centre of the audience through which actors will come and go and she'd like Venus there, in the middle of the aisle. She'd like Cupid 'stage right, downstage' which, I must remember, apparently means on the left, from the audience's point of view, and near the front.

Tati also asked if I could make masks for the masquerade ball in act two. I didn't recall Suzie mentioning a ball in the play so I just said okay. I wish I hadn't when she said they'd need fifteen masks and could I let her have some sketches for the statues and masks in the next couple of weeks! Nick gave me a look that said clearly, "See what I have to deal with?"

I did speak to Beth briefly, wanting to put in a good word for Suzie to make up for the nude women comment. I was surprised when Beth said that she and Suzie are going to meet so Suzie can help her with understanding her lines. I don't want to be jealous of Beth but this whole play thing was supposed to be about the two of us having a fun summer together. No, I mustn't stand in the way of Suzie finding a girlfriend, must I? Beth did give me an unexpectedly big hug as I left, so perhaps Beth is gay too... although thinking about it, most of the cast gave me a little kiss or hug, so maybe it's just a theatre thing.

Right, let me get on with this letter.

My dear Suzie,

I am so, so sorry for putting my foot in it with the naked woman comment in front of Beth. Please forgive me. I can see you like Beth and I don't want to spoil that for you so I promise I'll be more careful in future