A Gift Horse

We lay back together. She kissed me hard and long. Our tongues tangled. My head lay back beside hers. She was lovely as we shared a smile. I leaned up to check the time. Two hours since we had first slept. My last thought was I wondered if Savita ever slept as I sank into unconsciousness.

14.

The alarm woke me to a Friday morning. Mary lay deliciously naked, barely disturbed by the racket of the clock, looking like some cup of hot mocha. I was tempted to lick her sweet body awake. I envied her sleep so I let her sleep, carefully lifting myself to sitting on the bed. My head was feverish and throbbing. I was tempted to grab myself the hair of the beast but knew I had too long a day ahead to start that way. Temptations were set aside.

The beautiful Savita was clicking away at the computer. The long t- shirt covered her body in its stretchy softness. When my tired eyes closed briefly, I envisioned sliding my hand along her petite dark skin underneath the cotton. I broke the nod, jettisoning myself from the lulling bed and into the shower.

After emerging, naked, steaming, cooling in the cold air of the living room, I crossed to the kitchen to fix up coffee for Savita and myself before dressing in the uniform of the day.

"Come here," said Savita in her high feminine voice. I let the coffee brew and leaned over the chair and watched images overlap images. Head shots coalesced into one.

"The resolution is amazing," Savita explained. "I have matches on three victims plus the one that was murdered. I can't believe the sophistication of Angela's equipment."

Angela's name made me feel hollow inside. Her loss echoed emptily. I missed her. A tear emerged from the pooling eyes.

"All three have been featured in one corporate magazine or another since the capture," Savita continued. "They're all CEO's Jack. High level players. Within a week they turned their companies around. They gave themselves raises, and an exact percentage of each raise is being paid to various off shore accounts. Different amounts. Different accounts. The same percentage.

"But it hasn't been pure greed. They are hiring like mad. Expanding. The slow software employment market is suddenly getting a greatly needed boost. Advertising. Construction. The three companies run by our victims, they're expanding."

"Have you found Angela's employer?"

"Not yet. She's very clever protecting it. I should bust through in a few hours. But I gotta tell you, Jack. I gotta bad feeling about this. There's a smooth operation behind these transformations. Huge financial support. More and more every day.

"She works for a presumably altruistic whistle blower group, but the sophistication and the depth of the mystery in which they reside, there's a lot of money. "We're dealing with huge money on both sides of the fence. You know, once you get up there at these levels, you may be looking at two sides of the same coin."

"But they kidnapped Angela!" I said, upset at any possibility of my love changing sides. How could she turn? "They murdered that guy!"

"Yeah, check this out. They discovered him with his mistress is the way they passed it off. A murder/suicide. Such sensational stuff and you'd think it'd get ink all over it. They hid it away deep in some local rags, local crime beat. A couple paragraphs. The death notice was longer. Our neighbor hasn't got after the new CEO. The company is still creeping along."

I fetched the coffee. She thanked me. I thanked her. I looked into her eyes. We shared concerned smiles. I left her to it and, coffee in hand, entered the club.

Once the gate opened, letting in a couple alcoholics, I began preparing for the evening. I had to check the books, catching up with several days, and found them good. I did need to unload some cash, the safe was feeling less and less safe as it filled to the brim. Fast Freddy was due for a percentage later in the day. I figured his cut and set it aside in the safe. I still needed to drop some of the smaller bills, turn some into large bills, and turn some into coins for making change. There were already quite a lot of large bills. I was becoming a rich man.

But to have those large bills, it all went necessarily through Fast Freddy. He was my bank. I realized my dependence. I was a black hole. Invisible to the government. Employees were paid under the table.

What would happen if I revealed myself? I would lose the bar. My employees would lose their livelihood. We'd all get through it. Me less well perhaps. But I knew if I revealed myself I would probably lose my life. Fast Freddy wouldn't stand for it. And it was all, I finally thought, for the benefit of whatever the hell was happening next door. Maybe I should give it up. Give up my life. But the worst part about it is I was enjoying my life more than I ever thought possible.

Except for Angela. Angela had become my life and if I needed to risk everything to save her, including my life...except what good would I be for Angela if I was dead? I needed a way to get her back. Put a little tickle in this mysterious place next door so they would cough her up. That's all. Just a tickle.

By the end of the lunch rush, the place was at its most dead. Freddy came in a couple times. He had his cash. I had my big bills and my coin. I let Connie keep an eye on the bar while I entered my apartment.

Savita hadn't moved from her place I had last seen her several hours earlier. Mary had dressed in her tight sexy outfit, and was looking over Savita's shoulder.

"I got through," Savita said, her voice torn around the edges from lack of sleep. "It was like finding the weakness in a wall. They wouldn't let my e-mail slide through."

"Can they trace..." I was asking before Savita interrupted.

"The source is practically untraceable. I have it being sent all over America, Europe, Japan."

"Practically?"

"Yeah. I think we're safe. At least as far as the e-mail goes."

"Okay, so..."

"Angela's boss wants a meet."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"I'll go," said Mary.

"No. Can't let you risk it," I said, in the most heroic tone I could muster.

"He wants a neutral territory. Outside. Union Square. I can keep an eye out. I'm good at it," said Mary.

"Okay."

"And I'll go out with you. I need to get some more floppy disks," said Savita. "In fact let me go first." She rose from her chair and stripped off the night shirt. She stretched her lithe petite form. I watched her lean muscles enlongate, her breasts rising up and gently settling. I felt my cock rise and elongate, pressing against the restriction of my jeans. She found her party clothes. "I need to make copies before anything goes down. Walk me out." She slid on her spandex. "When you're gone I can copy and sleep. Sleep sounds good right now."

I walked her out the door and around the corner. I handed her cash. She jumped in a taxi. I walked back to the club and played minimal bartender until she returned. I greeted her with a sexy hug, trying to keep up appearances while enjoying her lithe body pressing against me.

I let her in my apartment, stripping off my casual outfit as soon as the door closed. Mary had located a suit and tie, which I was quickly zipping up and adjusting. As Mary and I left the apartment and walked through the bar, we groped each other. I told Connie to watch the place until the night bartender got in. Mary and I then strolled with difficulty outside, arm in arm, my other arm holding a side bag full of papers.

Once we were a couple blocks away, we took separate cabs to Union Square. I never saw her the whole time I met with George, but was sure she was there.

George was a handsome man in his mid-thirties. Both his suit and his shoes would have easily cost a normal working man a month's wages. The guy was smooth. If he was nervous, he didn't show it. I was nervous enough for the both of us. I couldn't sit still. I would stand and pace as he perused the info Savita had printed. He didn't suffer the explosive nature of the material. He would make the perfect terrorist. No one would guess what he carried, no matter how destructive it was. Except that he exuded spy like a man wearing too much cologne. Which worried me. It seemed obvious. Couldn't he just take them. Savita could always make copies again.

She wouldn't have to. "Forget it," he said in his low voice. Secretive. Out the side of his mouth. He handed the material back to me.

"What?" I said, looking down at the material, my key to Angela's prison.

"Forget it."

"But what about Angela?"

"You want to stay healthy, you forget her."

"Look. All I want is Angela. I don't give a shit about any of this. I just need some leverage to get her out. Don't you...aren't you guys all about leverage?"

"You don't know. She...I can tell you this. She was on her own. I wouldn't have okayed it."

"Bullshit," I said, getting all my nerve back.

He smiled. "It doesn't matter. You're right though. And it doesn't matter. You were the in. We wanted inside. She had the connection. Her girlfriend. You. It was perfect. She got in. We know it's vulnerability."

"What is it?"

"That I can't say. Maybe Angela...No. Forget it."

"She was kidnapped goddamn it!" I yelled.

"Shut up."

"Maybe if I tell everyone..."

"If you want her alive. And yourself. And your friends. You had better shut up. I know you don't believe me when I tell you, despite what you've seen, what's happened to you, to Angela, to the poor schmuck you heard...It's best for everyone...It's in the best interest of everyone...It's your patriotic duty to keep your mouth shut. Understand?"

"You are full of shit."

"Don't test me on this. You'll wish you hadn't."

"What would the press say?"

"Just think about this. You've seen the results. Things are sluggish. The economy is for shit. But you've seen the change. Just the three examples you have there. Think about it. Give it the weekend. But anyway you see it, you won't get away with it. Neither will Angela. She will be blamed. Think about that."

"But I won't go anywhere with it if they let Angela go."

"It's a nice thought. I can see you care about her. If you care about her, keep a lid on it. It won't work. It will make everything worse. For you. For Angela. For America."

"Shit," I said in abject frustration. I walked away.

15.

I taxied to the sleaziest area I knew. Just around Penn Station were some bars where any vice you wished to procure was available for the asking. I began to bar hop. I glanced around looking for the same faces at each bar, looking for my tail. I perused the scantily clad women. They all wanted a date with me. In my state of mind I wanted the sleaziest woman. And there were those who just wanted to watch me. Men in dark suits. Eyes unclear behind glasses. I couldn't shake their gaze. I found the skankiest junky whore I could find. She took me to an hourly hotel. Hopefully the followers didn't know I had chosen the hotel.

In the room filled with the stench of dampness, mold and human excretion, I paid her enough to get her off a few times, that is off on drugs not sex. She remained in the corner of the sex cell while Mary, still dressed in her party girl outfit, sat gingerly on the unclean bed. I sat beside her.

"I think we're safe," she said.

"I don't think that will ever happen again," I replied, deeply depressed. "Being safe."

"They sure had Union Square covered. There was even a van that looked too suspicious for words. Probably recorded everything."

"He didn't take the paper."

"He's got a copy. Probably some digital camera broadcasting to the van."

"He's on their side!"

"I know." I looked at her. How could she know? "I could see it in your face and body language in the park and in the bars. I could tell you were getting nowhere with him."

"Yeah. He threatened me. And he was fucking righteous about it. Said the whole fucking thing was for the good of America. Said if I fucked it up I was worse than a communist or something."

"I guess it would be a terrorist these days."

"Yeah. Shit. What are we going to do?"

"Go buy us some wine. I'll get some nice take out. I'll meet you at Bradley's."

"Okay. Shit." I kissed her. "Thanks."

"See you in a little while." She slipped out the door, checking the hallways first.

I dropped some more cash on the slouching spring bed, glancing over at the whore settled into the corner of the drab, stinky room. I imagined she would get some good dope to inject, or at least a good quantity. I almost envied her ability to purchase a powder that would enable her to forget, to nod off this mortal world for a moment. Could she get me some? I glanced again at her thin face, scarred with bad skin and the abuse of a shitty life. I walked out the door.

When I arrived at Bradley's, it occurred to me how distracted I had become. It was past eight, and the place was filling. Hazel was wondering where the hell I'd been. I didn't explain, just apologized. I told Stuart the bartender I'd be right back after changing.

Savita looked beautifully relaxed for the first time since I met her. She was asleep on my bed. Another first. I didn't wake her, but couldn't resist kissing her on her lovely dark tan forehead. Pulling off the formal look of my button down shirt and slacks, I replaced them with the casual chic of a black t-shirt and black jeans, my weekend night attire. I joined Stuart at the bar.

"What about the door?" asked Hazel as she ordered from me.

"I don't know. I have a friend who should be here any moment. I'll see if she can cover the door."

"She'd better be here soon," Hazel said. "It's looking to be a crazy night." The last words carried out into the club area as she took off with the drinks. Moments later a leather clad beauty of Amazon proportions leaned against the spot which Hazel had just vacated.

"Hi," said Mary Margaret with a smile. I leaned over and kissed her.

"Think we've been followed?"

"Probably."

"Shit."

"Don't worry. Let it play out. They know we know something and we're still walking this earth."

"I wish you hadn't gotten involved. I'm..."

"Fuck that, Jack. I'm having a blast."

"You look real fine," I said, but her tight leather gave me goose bumps. Flashes of Angela's sexy outfits flitted through my mind's eyes.

"I need another favor." I leaned forward and shouted. The club had gotten loud. "Maybe a good cover, so to speak. Can you work the door? Just a second." I rushed over to the middle of the back where the metal tackle box we used for collecting the door was, and rushed back with it. Without getting a word of ascent I handed her the box, pointed to the table at the door. "Five dollar cover. And grab Hazel for me. Thanks. You are a godsend. A hot godsend." She winked at me. I watched her big beautiful ass sway away.

"What you want Jack?" said a harried Hazel after rolling off her newest drink order.

"I want you to collect from everyone already in the club. Well not everyone. You know."

"Sure. Okay. Hurry with the drinks. You sure you're okay? I wish Angela was around. She'd get you back on the ball."

"Yeah," I barely said before I was hit by sighs and tears dripped down my face and my nose was flowing. I was suddenly a mess.

"Oh my god Jack. I didn't..." I raised my hand. She looked at me with her deeply caring brown eyes. I manifested a smile through the despair. Eventually the smile won out. I swallowed down the tears and the mucus and got back to business.

The night was a blur. I would break through my teary eyes, trying to concentrate on something else to distract my mind. Occasionally I enjoyed the punk funk band that opened. The power pop trio that headlined were especially fine, which helped the distraction. Once the headliners ended and the forty five minutes passed before the sexy fun and games started I had wandered out to the back of the club area. I didn't even notice the difference from that Friday night and all the previous ones. The crowd had not dispersed as they usually did. I didn't notice the big guys, including Anders, keeping them in the club. When Rachel took the stage looking fabulous in her tight white blouse and tight black skirt, I could see she was a little uncomfortable as she scanned the room. I thought I was projecting my discomfort on her. She found me and smiled. "This one's dedicated to Angela," she said as her eyes stared across the space and into my eyes. Tears trickled from the corners. Both hers and mine.

Rachel began the sexy narration as she bumped and ground her hips. Connie had joined her onstage for some guitar work, and Hazel, sitting behind the drum kit, accompanied her with cymbal crashes and rim shots.

Rachel slowly pealed away her clothing, eventually removing her lacy white bra and skimpy white panties. Two regulars, a guy and a gal climbed on stage. The guy was a transvestite who removed his clothes to reveal his hard on, a massive cock. The gal was one of Don the coke dealer's entourage, and thus was a lovely thing. Her high, sexy tangle of brunette hair shook and played in the light, and her lovely blue eyes looked confident as she danced and stripped. She too was soon naked.

As Rachel's narrative continued, the two beautiful people danced near each other, closing in. Touches with hands and hips and lips became more frequent. The guy was a pretty blond with strong features, both in the face and in the musculature. The brunette was tall, as tall as the guy, and well shaped, on the slim side. Her breasts were small but her rigid nipples projected into the space nearly an inch. The guy concentrated on touching those fine nubs. His hands slid across her breasts. His tongue would lick. At last they embraced.

The guy carefully lowered himself onto the floor, the gal slowly following. The grace and the slowness of the descent made it seem beautifully choreographed. Then, once he was laid out, I watched his huge cock slowly disappear behind the brunette curls of her pussy.

"Angela, Angela, Angela," repeated Rachel, purring my love's name at the rate of the couple's fucking. Rachel's one hand stroked her pussy, fingers disappearing, her other hand caressed her fine ivory breasts. I wished desperately to have Angela beside me so we could fondle each other like we always did at this point in the proceedings. I was beginning to shake. My eyes were flooded. The mucus flowed. I turned to go.

Anders was beside me. "Get out of my way," I yelled.

"Fuck you," he said, pushing me. I nearly fell but somehow kept standing.

I rose onto the balls of my feet so my face was in his. "Fuck you, you fucking murderer!" My energy was so extreme that I was out of his reach and out the door in a breath. I felt hands trying to hold me. Big hands. Anders sized hands. They might as well have been tree limbs tearing at my clothing as I ran outside.

I rushed to the stoop next door. There were a couple of whores and johns nearby, but I had a sense of emptiness, empty street, empty universe. Unlike Rachel's orgasmic sighs when she spoke her name, my voice yelled violently, tearing at my throat. "Angela, Angela, Angela, Angela, Angela, Angela." I repeated her name for at least ten minutes. By the end my voice was ragged.

The door opened. A glass storm door remained between us. I tried it. It was locked. Angela was speaking to me. I couldn't hear. She was wearing a see through negligee, off white, almost beige. The body I had enjoyed and studied with glee so many times was visible, taunting me. Her eyes were puffy and unfocused. The firm gaze she always had was gone. I wanted to hold her in my arms, envelope her like I never had before. For once I wanted to be stronger than her, carry her away to a good safe place. I stared at her. I watched her lips. "Go home," she seemed to be saying. "Go home." She gave me a sad smile. She stepped back. The door closed. I slammed my body against the glass and fell down the stoop. Cement tore the skin on my arm, leg, and the back of my head. I was bleeding. I was stunned. Wavering to my feet, a made myself tall and started at the door again. But I abruptly stopped.