A Hard Place Ch. 03

I stood frozen for some time, watching the tears fall from his face, and him using his hand to try to stop them. I wasn't emotionally equipped to handle such a situation, but I unfortunately decided to try.

I narrowed the distance between us and put a hand on his shoulder. I rubbed slowly, hoping he would be quick to get himself together and leave. I was surprisingly well put for someone who was completely freaking out.

The sniffling slowed down, and it got better somewhat. I left him and went round the sofa to take a seat. I didn't look at him, hoping he'd be close to leaving by then. Part of me wondered if I was the bad guy here.

Was I?

A few moments of silence passed and I almost thought he was gone, until I heard the springs on the sofa bouncing. I rolled my eyes seeing his jeans next to me. I didn't care if he saw.

"I really do like him you know," he quietly said, just loud enough for me to hear him.

"I'd feel really bad just abandoning him like that," he finished with a whisper.

I hoped he didn't expect me to feel sorry for him. I'd already told him how I felt. Yet, a part of me did want to hear his side of things, just to confirm that I wasn't crazy.

His words seemed sincere, but I knew better than to believe anything from the mouth of someone who couldn't even be honest with his name. I'd met my fair share of dishonest people so my guard was always up.

"Better now than never, you really think it's better to abandon him after he's fallen in love with you?"

My tone was calm but judgemental. I wanted to punch him for making himself into the victim. I held myself back as much as I could, hoping that that would be last time I was talking to him.

What kind of skeletons could he have been hiding in his closet? Did I want to know? Probably not.

"Alright," he said after several more seconds of silence. His voice was steady. He stood up awkwardly and I followed suit, waiting for him to leave and never come back.

"Thanks," he said as he suddenly pulled me into an involuntary hug. Since this was goodbye, I let him have it and hugged him back, though not as tightly as he did me, not wanting to give him the wrong idea.

"We could have been friends you know," he said after pulling away, looking earnestly into my eyes. I instinctively but slowly shook my head with denial. In no universe would I have considered being friends with someone I knew from the bat that he was a liar.

His eyes expressed shock, and vaguely, pain. The truth, though more painful, was better than a lie.

"Not if you lie so much, not if I can't trust a single word you say."

We looked at each other in silence, then he sighed.

"You're right," he muttered with a hung head.

"I'm really sorry for all this," he said.

"You're very cool, both of you, sorry if I came between you guys."

"Mmhmm."

I nodded slowly, choosing to barely acknowledge his words. It was hard for me to tell when he was being honest.

"It's unthinkable at this point, but I'll do it," he said with some strange determination in his voice.

"I'll do it," he repeated under his breath as he turned to leave.

I watched him back away and walk out, then watched him through the window walking to his car and driving away, making sure he was gone before letting out an exasperated sigh and rolling my eyes. That was exhausting.

* * *

A few weeks passed, two to be exact, without seeing or hearing from him, or about him. It was nice, but for whatever reason I sensed it was going to be short-lived. The peace was unsettling.

My routine went back to normal, and on this particular day I'd decided to spend my lunch hour from my accounting job with Scott. I was dressed in an expensive suit as I hurriedly paced though the park to the area we usually hung out at.

Before I found him, he was already waving me. I smiled as I approached and he stood up and hugged me before we sat back down.

We had our usual conversations about nothing and about anyone else but us, but I could sense he was not feeling well. It was subtle enough to go unnoticed, but I knew him too well.

After a moment of silence I gave him a questioning look, and I knew he knew I knew something was up when he sighed.

"Are you gonna tell me?" I asked.

He sighed again, this time visibly sad.

"He's been so distant lately. I don't know what's going on with him," he confessed lowly.

I knew what he meant and who he was talking about. I couldn't visibly express the relief I felt, but in my heart I could have been jumping for joy, though I couldn't lift the scrap of guilt I had for making him sad.

"That's a problem?"

I couldn't even pretend to be sad about it. He was so accustomed to my unusual and poorly thought out utterances so luckily this one didn't faze him.

"Well," he said shyly. Perhaps I didn't want to know.

"I really like him. I wouldn't have minded seeing it go further than... This."

He gestured in the air. He was so frustrated, but frustrated was infinitely better than heartbroken. Again.

He could just find someone else to deal with that frustration. Anyone else was good with me as long as they weren't married or whatever his secret life was about.

"Isn't it a bit too soon for that? You just met him."

He groaned shamefully, "Agh I know."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, trying to hide a smile through my judgemental looks. It was somewhat refreshing to see him feel something, even if I wasn't fully on board with the particular feelings.

"I just wanted something good you know. And it was, for a minute."

I failed to sympathise with him. Or to even fake it. No words could express my gladness for his departure.

"I get it. But maybe this is for the best," I smiled warmly as I put my hand on his knee. He smiled back for a second, unsure, and just shrugged lightly.

"I don't know."

"Just focus on yourself for now. Everything will fall into place when it's time," I assured him as my hand gently rubbed his shoulder. He smiled. A real smile this time.

"Thanks. You're right, I should probably take some time to myself. Really thanks, I needed to hear that."

He smiled and put his hand on top of mine for a second, then a part of me started feeling a little bad. He really deserved the best, and it was long overdue.

"Let's not get all these tears in our food," I joked as I picked my burger up and took a bite. He did too and for that moment it felt like things were going in the right direction, for once.