A Helping Hand

By the second week Amber found she was spending most of her time at Chris's house. She finally decided going back to the dorm each night was just dumb. So on Friday of that week she and Chris took the car over and she picked up most of her clothes and other things. The dorm was paid for until the end of the semester and her meal plan was a pay as you go, so not being in the dorm didn't cost anything extra.

She and Chris carried her things down to the car. As she was leaving with the last of her clothes her roommate stopped her. Looking after Chris she said, "I can see why you are moving out. I don't blame you a bit girl. Get some for me."

Amber looked at her. Of course she would think Amber was moving in to sleep with Chris. Finally Amber just smiled at her and said, "You'll just have to get some for yourself, girl." Then laughing she turned and left.

The new arrangements didn't really change anything. That is, anything except that Amber no longer had to make the long - and now often cold - walks to and from her dorm room. She and Chris generally ate breakfast and dinner together and she found she was becoming more and more comfortable with him. They could joke and tease back and forth but he still made no attempt to ask for anything in return for all that he was giving her.

Amber was also finding her hard work was paying off and it looked very much like she would be able to hold her GPA and keep her scholarship. When she finally told Chris that she thought things would likely be OK, his response was, "I've always known so."

Thanksgiving was coming up. The school would effectively be closed from Wednesday afternoon until Monday morning. Most students would be traveling, going back home. Amber had always had Thanksgiving dinner with her mother, even if they didn't always fix a turkey. Sometimes, because there were just the two of them, they bought one of the small turkey roasts and fixed that. A pound and a half of frozen meat and gravy, ready to go into the oven. Not much work and enough like the real thing to satisfy.

This would be the first Thanksgiving without her mom. Naturally, she felt somewhat sad but resigned herself to it. Then on the Monday before, Chris came in from buying groceries and she went to help him unload the bags.

He reached into one bag and pulled out a frozen turkey. She stared at it. It wasn't really big - eight and half pounds the label said. Still it was a whole bird, not just a prepared roast. She was staring at it when he stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "Amber, I know this is your first Thanksgiving alone. I remember how I felt that November when I had just turned eighteen. I hope this will help a little."

She felt her eyes grow a little wet and then he broke the mood by adding, "Besides, I've always wanted to see if I could cook a turkey without burning it."

She joined his laugh and then surprised both of them by moving over and giving him a hug and a kiss on the mouth. Suddenly she felt more surprised than Chris must have been. She moved back and, lowering her eyes, said simply, "Thank you."

As it was when Thursday came Amber felt nearly as excited by it as she ever had. She and Chris together managed to roast the bird and prepare everything else. When they finally sat down to the meal, she was able to totally forget about school for several hours and just relax and enjoy herself. The wine Chris provided probably helped a little, but most of it, she was sure, was the company.

Finals weekwas the second week of December. Amber had the two exams about which she was most concerned on Monday and Tuesday. At least they weren't both on the same day. As long as she could do well on these, her grades for this semester would not be a problem.

She spent the weekend almost totally in study, stopping only for quick meals. Chris also was spending most of his time in preparing for his own finals, so their meals were limited to oatmeal and granola bars for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, and frozen entrees for dinner. His most difficult finals were on Tuesday and Wednesday so he wasn't pressed quite as hard as Amber. Still, when she looked at him, she could see the tension and pressure written on his face, although he never said anything along those lines.

Wednesday morning Amber awoke and as she lay in bed, realized that she had only one more easy exam the next morning. For the first time in months she wasn't under the tremendous stress which had become the major part of her world. She felt the exams of the previous two days had gone well. Tomorrow she would know for sure when grades were posted but she was confident enough that it was no longer a real concern. She luxuriated for a few minutes longer and then stretched and rose for a slow shower.

She started downstairs to the kitchen. As she passed the other room she saw that Chris was deep in study. She knew his final was at ten and that this was his toughest one. Glancing at her watch she saw that he would be leaving in about another twenty minutes. She walked quietly past the door and on into the kitchen.

Five minutes later she quietly went back upstairs and to the door where he was just closing his books. "Good morning. I couldn't let you go without breakfast, so there's English muffins and pineapple cream cheese all ready downstairs. Beats a granola bar."

Chris turned and smiled at her. "Good morning. And thanks. That does sound good."

He followed her downstairs and into the dinette where she had two glasses of juice along with the food. He held her chair for her as she sat. She had found that Chris did this without really thinking whenever they ate. It really did just seem the way he had been raised, she guessed. Always holding doors and chairs, carrying things for her. She thanked him and they quickly ate. She wished him good luck as he went out the door.

Amber spent the day in study for her last exam but this one didn't seem bad at all. She knew the material quite well. When Chris returned about twelve thirty they ate a quick lunch and then he once more moved upstairs to review the material for his own last exam the next day. He wasn't extremely worried about this one but did need to spend some serious study time.

They had frozen pizza for dinner and late the next morning Amber left for her exam. Chris didn't have his until three that afternoon. Amber told him she would fix supper since she'd be done earlier and they wished each other luck as she left.

Her last final went quite well. When she finally turned in her paper and left the room, a little of the apprehension about her other classes returned. If she had blown either of the other two major tests, she could kiss her scholarship - and her degree and future - good-bye. She didn't believe she had done too badly on either, but she couldn't be sure. Taking a deep breath she turned down the hall to where her two professors would have the grades posted.

Their rooms were next to each other and she could see papers taped on the wall between the two doors. With a little churning in her stomach she stepped up to the postings. For a few seconds she closed her eyes and then, exhaling sharply, she opened them and looked at the lists. She was least concerned about the first class she looked at. There beside her student number she saw the grades for the final exam and the course. A 97 on the final and an A for the course. Wonderful! Now for the really hard one.

She looked down to the sheet below that and again sought out her student number to look at the two columns to the right. Then she double checked her student number and blinked twice. Yes, it was hers. A 100 on the final and an A for the course! She let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. It was all right now. Everything was going to be all right! She looked up and down the lists of grades again and saw that there were no more three digit grades on the final exam. The highest score besides her own was a 93. She had not only aced the course but had the highest final in the class! Amber felt weak in her knees and had to make a real effort to turn and walk without collapsing.

She moved over to where there was a small bench by the stairwell and sat. For several minutes she sat, breathing deeply and letting relief flow through her. For the first time in two months her dreams seemed possible once more. She could almost hear her mother saying, "I always knew you could. Just never give up." She hadn't given up but without Chris she might have. She was sure he could have no idea just how much he had helped her. She didn't think she could ever tell him how much.

She had the remainder of the day free and decided to fix a nice dinner for the two of them. With new determination she stood and started on her way back to the house, planning to stop at the store along the way to pick up something special.

Chris returned about five-thirty and Amber heard him as he came in the door. She moved to the hall and asked, "How did it go?"

"Not bad. I'm sure I did OK on it. What about yours?"

"I'm not worried about that last one. Chris, I aced both of the others! I'm all right. I'll get to keep my scholarship now." He stopped as a wide smile came across his face but before he could say anything she added, "Chris, you made it possible. I can't thank you enough. I would have been totally lost without your help. Thank you so much."

He just smiled and slightly shook his head back and forth. "I didn't really do that much. You just needed a little helping hand and I found I could maybe provide it."

Quietly she said, "No, it was a lot more than that. You not only helped but made me believe in myself again. I really can't thank you enough."

"Well, for whatever I did, you are quite welcome." Then he changed the subject. "Something smells quite good. Is it something we get to eat?"

"In about fifteen minutes. Go on upstairs and I'll call you when it's ready. I just wanted to surprise you."

"OK. Just don't decide to eat it all first. It smells quite good and I haven't had anything besides one small hamburger since breakfast." Amber laughed and turned back towards the kitchen as Chris headed upstairs.

In twenty minutes she called up to him and when he came down, led him into the formal dining room. Quiet music was playing and the table was lit by two candles. She had set their two places as had become usual: his at the end and hers to the right. There was a T-bone steak on each plate, a salad of mixed dark greens, a small loaf of dark rye and a covered dish filled with steaming au gratin potatoes on the table. Beside each plate was a glass of ice water and a wine glass filled with what must have been champagne as there was a bottle of such resting in a bowl of ice on the table.

Since Amber wouldn't be twenty-one for another six months, when she decided she wanted this she had called up a girl she knew from the dorm and persuaded her to buy it for her. Not normally her style. In fact she had never done anything like that before but the girl didn't seem surprised and didn't hesitate to purchase it for her.

Chris stopped and stared. "Wow!" was all he said.

He still moved to hold her chair and seat her as usual and then moved to his own place. As he sat, Amber said, "I'm not sure the world could look any better to me than it already does, but we'll see if being around a steak makes any difference."

They each picked up their wine glass but before they tasted the beverage Amber raised hers and said, "To your wonderful helping hand, Chris. You'll never know how much you helped me."

Chris raised his own glass a little and answered, "Thank you, but it wasn't that much. I'll simply say 'To you, I always knew you could.'"

Amber felt her face grow warm as they each sipped. Maybe he always knew she could but she hadn't herself. And he had never asked anything in return. The thought passed through her mind that for most men, now would be the perfect time to ask for reward, but somehow she could not imagine Chris doing so. Now or ever.

They ate the meal, enjoying the taste of both the food and the wine. They drank about half the bottle and placed the rest in the refrigerator for later. When they finished, Chris helped clean up. Then both really became aware they had nothing they had to do that night or even the next day. Amber would have to work at the coffee shop on Saturday morning but for now there was nothing hanging over them.

They watched a DVD, sitting side by side on the couch. Once again, Amber thought that most men would have tried to take advantage of the situation and her feeling of obligation but though Chris remained beside her, he didn't even put his arm around her shoulders. It just wouldn't be his style, she decided.

When the movie ended they got the remainder of the wine and sat at the dinette table talking. "With the scholarship I'll have enough for tuition and room costs next term. Thank you again, Chris."

He turned to look at her. "Amber, do you really want to go back to that dorm?"

She looked down. "Not really but I can't keep leeching off of you, Chris."

He smiled at her. "I wouldn't call it that but if you do, I will say I can't imagine a more perfect leech than you. Look, Amber, why don't you drop the dorm and stay here?"

She was quiet for long seconds. "I would really like that, Chris, but I can't keep taking advantage of you."

Quietly, almost to himself he said, "Maybe I want to be taken advantage of." Then louder to her, "I have an idea. What does that scholarship actually cover?"

"It pays tuition and room costs. Plus an allowance for books. "

"Does it say you have to live in the dorm?"

"No, but the room costs are paid directly to the provider."

"All right. Suppose you stay here and we write a rental contract for your room. We can make it for about what the dorm costs. Then the scholarship would pay me and I can pay it back to you for helping out with cooking and so on. We'd have to work out the taxes but that shouldn't be a real problem."

"Chris, that would still make me taking it from you for nothing. I can't do that."

'OK. Suppose I keep part for the rent." A thought suddenly struck him. "Then you could use the remainder and could probably quit your job at the coffee shop. It would make school a little easier for you."

He could see the idea slowly take hold as the look on her face and in her eyes changed. At last she said, "That sounds too good to be true but, Chris, It's still not fair to you."

"Suppose you let me decide just what is fair. I like having you around, Amber. You've made things a lot easier for me, also. I don't just mean helping with food and cleaning and so on. Remember I grew up in this house. It's paid for but it's full of memories. Most are happy but sometimes since my parents died, the memories make the house quite lonely and empty. You've filled it again." He stopped and looked at her for a full half minute. "Please stay."

At last she said, "Let me think about it a little while. OK?" He nodded and they changed the subject.

Chris would, of course, be staying in the house over the Christmas break. When he asked if Amber was planning on going to visit someone, she had just looked away and quietly said, "Who? I don't really have any family now. Oh, there are a couple of aunts and uncles but no one I was ever close to. I guess I haven't really thought about what to do over break."

"Then why don't you plan on staying here. Again, please. It will make things easier for me also. Christmas always brings out all the ghosts of the past. At least the last three have." She could see the pain the memories brought momentarily to his face and quickly agreed. Doing so seemed to also make her feel a little better.

The campusemptied the next week. With the exodus of students and many of the faculty and staff, the coffee shop did much less business and Amber was told she wouldn't be needed until the next semester started in another month.

With no more obligations on their time, she and Chris spent a little more time together. They went out and bought a Christmas tree and decorated it with decorations Chris had stored in the basement. Amber had none of her own but bought a green and white school ornament and hung it with the others.

They had no one to buy gifts for except each other. Each made individual trips, searching for something for the other. Both had agreed not to spend much. Chris knew Amber didn't have a lot and he didn't really have a lot to spare himself. When Christmas Eve finally arrived, there were two small boxes, brightly wrapped, under the tree.

For Christmas Eve they bought a selection of deli items and for Christmas Day, two more T-bones. Chris, who had turned twenty-one early that fall, bought another two bottles of Champagne. Not expensive champagne, admittedly, but a nice, dry wine they would still enjoy.

They ate dinner Christmas Eve with candle light and Christmas music playing quietly in the back ground. It wasn't really romance, even with the candle light and wine. More of just a warm friendship. At least that is what they told themselves, although deep down neither completely believed that. They were definitely attracted to each other but true to his word, Chris never tried to change their relationship.

Christmas morning they moved to the living room where the tree awaited with its two small gifts. Each bent and handed his present to the other. As they looked at them, Amber said, "You go first."

Chris smiled at her and lifted the small box. He hefted it, feeling the weight. About six to seven inches on a side, whatever the box contained was fairly heavy for its size. He pulled the bright green paper, tearing it and exposing the white cube of the box. He lifted the lid and looked down inside and then slowly pulled out a pair of bookends. Each was shaped like an open hand, the palm forming the flat side to go against the book. Their appearance was that of cast bronze but the material was probably a composite made to look that way. Chris had seen such material used for sculpture. He stared at them, appreciating the detail and the perfection. Then he noticed a note which had been beneath them. He reached and pulled it from the box and read where Amber had written, "Thank you for the helping hands."

"They are lovely," he said. "On the shelf above my desk, definitely. Thank you, Amber. Thank you, very much. Now open yours."

He saw a fleeting look of relief in her eyes. Could she possibly have thought he wouldn't like them? They were beautiful. Beautiful and functional. As an engineer he appreciated both. Not to mention that when he replaced the pressed sheet metal ones on the shelf above his desk, he would think of her each time he saw them.

Amber lifted the flat box of her gift. It was about eight by ten inches and maybe an inch or an inch and a half thick. It had some weight to it but wasn't extremely heavy. She removed the bow, tore the paper and pulled the lid from the box. She stared down at it for several seconds and then slowly pulled it out. It was a plaque, a picture with a caption. The picture - it was actually a composite picture - showed a Saturn V moon rocket, just lifting off in a night launch. In the sky above the Apollo capsule hung a nearly full moon and beyond that was a telescopic view of a spiral galaxy. The caption read: "DETERMINATION - The will to go beyond what you think is possible."

Amber felt her eyes flood with tears. Wiping at them she looked at Chris. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you. Both for this and for helping me do it. I could not have made it on determination alone - I needed your help."

Chris reached out and once again placed his hands on her shoulders. "You would have made it anyway. I'm just glad I could help ease the path a little."