A High Country Tale Ch. 03: Of Odin and Ovid

The trip over soon put the six of us at the Chastain's front door. I had assumed the 'limousine' Bart had alluded to had been a shuttle van. The stretch limo in the round-about put that premise to rest. Sleek and black, it took up a full half of the curved driveway. Nobody was inside, as far as we could tell. The darkened windows rebuffed perusal, but no reaction to window-tapping had next sent us up the front steps. A minute following our knock, a liveried gentleman-of-color, looking every bit a chauffeur, opened the door. Apparently expecting us, he pulled the door wide. We heard a hoarse, blustery voice exclaiming something unintelligible from inside.

Ushered in and depositing coats in the foyer, we made our way into the cozily sunken family room. A big rock fireplace boasting a yew log crackled its welcome. The vision of a wheel-chaired Elmer Edgewater attempting to arise on old-fashioned wooden crutches while lambasting the group surrounding him evidenced that our welcome was not universal.

Beside the older man was a stately woman of regal bearing in ski apparel. Her long blond tresses hung almost to her waist but the two braided plaits made them more like hanging ropes. Next to her, we were surprised to see Ambergai Gee and Sheila E with her partner, Cat.

The Chastains were apart from the patient, over close to the fireplace, conversing with a small, compact, shapely woman in flowing black. Jeremy nudged me, "Honey. I cannot believe my eyes, but if that isn't Chaka, then I'm going nuts. I swear, that is her!" He sounded absolutely certain. The rest of us honed in on the dark red-haired beauty, curls blossoming in a controlled disarray of wildness, falling in abundance about her radiant smiling face.

From behind us, the liveried man announced our presence, "Madam, the doctors have arrived."

"I ain't needing no more goddam doctors," came another eruption from Mr. Edgewater. He sank back into the wheelchair, unsuccessful in arising. The braided woman cushioned his descent. Annalise turned our way, plainly relieved at our appearance.

"Luke, Jeremy, please... come in. We are so very pleased you could come," her elegant, long-fingered hands matched her voice and she gestured to join them. Clouds of displeasure smoldered around the irascible Elmer but he held his tongue. A small degree of respect at recognizing who we were muted him. At least, for the moment.

Ambergai and the girls met us with hugs, "Mi tinks it be a'good timin' for ya' a'comin', now, ma' Mons," including all six of us with the broad sweep of his hand, "der' be da' need o' da' addin' o' da' calmness a'ready in da' room. I do believe ya' be a'knowin' da' ladies, here, an' ma' old friend, Miss Khan, now, mi bein' correct?"

Totally blown down, we shook hands with the diva, her warmth and openness apparent. "I am happy to know you, boys. Mr. Gee and my girls, Sheila and Cat, speak highly of you." She fixed on Jeremy, "Dr. Kell, I understand through Annalise and Bartholomew that you have been challenged recently, yourself. I trust that an athlete of your stature is mending well, especially under the guiding eyes of two doctors... following their orders well, I am certain?" The luminary smiled widely as she spoke, having surely been apprised of a few details. Her astute gaze roamed up and down my man in open recognition of his masculine good looks.

Like everyone, she was immediately taken by his winsome aura and toothy smile. "I am surprised nobody informed me of the magnitude of your handsomeness. And, much more, that your entourage here rivals your own sexiness..." this, as she took in Calumet and Jake, along with the youths accompanying us.

"Ma' lady, da' Khan, ya' be a'knowin' da better, now, an' admit it all. Mi, did, in fact o' da' matters, be a'tellin' ya o' ma' Mons' fetchin' selves, be ya' a'tellin all o' da truth. Mi jus' be a'sayin'," Gai dwarfed Chaka as he enwrapped her shoulder with his huge hand.

A distinct cough from old Bart broke the thread and we all focused toward the wheelchair. Annalise took my hand and led me to the stately blonde, "Dr. Cevennes, I would very much like to introduce you to Elmer's friend, here. She has traveled far afield on very short notice to be here at this time. May I introduce Mrs. Trude Jochum-Beiser of Lech am Arlberg, of the Vorarlberg in Austria."

I was again stunned, unable to even stutter. The tall woman extended her hand, like a queen to a vassal, aristocratic bearing weighty in its gravitas. I took the proffered hand, almost kissing it. My man came to the rescue, stepping in and ably welcoming the Olympic icon. He, in turn, introduced the rest of our family. She spoke gracefully, but without any sign of self-absorption, deflecting attention to Mr. Edgewater instead.

"It is my good fortune, and luck, to have been tracked down by Miss Winfrey and Miss Khan, along with these girls and the dear spirit, Mr. Gee, in my hamlet these recent days past. Being informed of the misfortune overtaking my dear old flame here in Telluride, I was glad to hasten here to be of whatever small service I could." With that, she placed her hands on Elmer's shoulders, endearingly embracing the old codger.

Disarmed by her touch, the old fellow peered upward, almost smiling. A different persona entirely from just moments before. No rancor or animosity was evident now as the man fairly melted in surrender to the fond display.

"I ain't saying that I need any undue attention, now, Trude, but I will admit you are a sight for sore eyes." A slight edge sounded in his next words but his manners held. "I am surprised your husband allowed you to come, for sure. I remember Alfred as quite the jealous husband, at least from the news reports." The quizzical look bespoke much.

"Well, El, since Alfred has been gone these past three years, I must say that he did not raise much protest at my abrupt departure. And, you must admit, he had quite a reason for envy, in light of your and my slightly checkered history, you old dear," she again squeezed his shoulders and leaned down to peck his shock of white hair.

Ambergai sensed the mood and nimbly herded all of us toward the kitchen. A dozen pairs of feet shuffled through the door to allow the couple some privacy. We compared notes and discovered our Jamaican friend's idea to find Trude. Employing the far reach of Oprah and Chaka for the leg work. The two had worked together with Sheila E and her lady, bringing the plan to fruition in what seemed to be the nick of time. What might actually result remained the looming question. Nonetheless, Mr. Edgewater was about the only person with any answers.

Cal broached the elephant in the room, "Now that the two are in there together, what are their options? It would seem a given they both need some help. Is she thinking of spending time here with Elmer, and where would they be doing it, if so? Even a strong woman like Trude, at close to ninety years of age, herself, must be daunted by thinking of caring for him in the present condition. Won't the two need home health care, physical therapy and skilled nursing, just for starters? And, again, where will everything happen?" All were poignant issues.

Old Bart again insisted that the gent could stay in their home during convalescence. Annalise was in agreement but had reservations. Especially now that Trude had arrived, they couldn't know whether the two even desired help. Needed or not. The pride factor was a strong instinct, as she well knew.

Chaka intoned the idea which was probably most relevant, "You know, this whole conversation may be unnecessary, as none of us truly have any say in the matter. It looks to be a decision for the two in the next room. Maybe our plans should await their input before we get smacked right down by those very strong personalities..." She pointed at the door separating us from them. Ambergai added his agreement. None of us could gainsay the premise. So for the time being, we poured a couple bottles of wine around the Chastain's table and ruminated.

Before we had finished settling other world issues, the door bumped open to the push of Trude rolling Elmer into the room. "We have pretty much made our decision how to go forward," she said. "Elmer Bruce and I are going up to his home and settle in. Now." The resolute faces told us they were not brooking any dissent. "Both of us deeply appreciate all that has been done in our behalf. Now, we mean to travel the path which we have decided is in our best mutual interest." Elmer soaked up the presence of the one person for whom he had spent most of his life waiting. The look in his eyes was one which even Annalise had never encountered.

With our collective, if hesitant, blessing, the couple began their plans for the ascent. Travel up the steepness to Elmer's eyrie was, in itself, an obstacle, due to the challenge of the patient's ambulatory capacity. We all pitched in to help in what manner we were able. Over the next hours, provisions were packed and bundled, the limo was loaded and two snowmobiles were acquired from the village. In the present weather, transportation would prove a huge challenge, we knew. Luckily, Elmer had prepared his home in the recent years for contingencies like this should something occur. Having discussed this together, Trude and he felt they could manage. Our consternation aside, a cavalcade soon materialized and the trek began.

Before sunset, sixteen people, including the reunited paramours, arrived and settled the two in the very rustic environs where Elmer had spent most of his life. Solidly snug, Trude was enthralled with the place, feeling as if she had been transported back to her childhood in Austria.

The views were splendid. Craggy San Juan peaks surrounded Telluride Mountain in snowy majesty. Elmer had used his talents constructing the abode for fullest effect. We all huddled in the large, low-beamed room facing outward to the rugged snow globe diorama. No other homes or buildings were in sight; this was the highest edifice on the mountain. In the short time allotted for helping establish them, a wary level of comfort that maybe the duo could succeed in their professed aims had taken hold.

They acceded to our insistence of daily check-ins, nursing visits, and even with my and Jake's promise for regular home doctor visits with an ease which surprised us. Pantry and pharmacy, plus provisions, had been stocked in excess.

We all tempered our misgivings and left the doting Trude cuddling with a semi-comfortable Elmer on the downy bed overlooking one of the grandest views the world could afford anyone. Elmer had planned well.

Descending the heights back to the Chastain's home found us heaving sighs of hope and semi-relief that we had delivered and left the old-world chatelaine and her long lost lover to their private devices...nothing more could be done. At least, by any of us.

Unwinding to more good red wine and green-cross pharmaceuticals for the early evening hours, everyone ensconced before the roaring fireplace. We toasted the two, in absentia, with well-wishes for lives still being well-lived.

Chaka and Gai finally ushered in the end to a bittersweet day by announcing their resolve to depart. It broke the reverie. All of us gradually made our ways in divergent directions toward the village, Telluride town or respective homes.

I invoked physician's privilege by escorting my reticent husband to our lodge. Cal and Jake decided to accompany the boys down-mountain for a bit of relief-by-merrymaking. Our old Black Forest cuckoo clock finally counted midnight with Jeremy and I laying snuggled together alone in our own private eyrie, whispering conspiratorially.

Listening to my man's breathing even out to the deep breaths signaling his submission to Morpheus, my ears picked up the high country reverberations of wolves howling somewhere in the far, high peaks above us. My own eyes fluttered shut to the comforting hoots from the owl resident outside in the tall spruce guarding our balcony.

The world was where it should be.

"Riddle me this: Cauliflower must admit--- it is really broccoli just trying to get an Oscar." Adolpho was perplexed by the idea. He and I were the only ones up in the house the following morning. We were sharing coffee before the fireplace, watching fat snowflakes flutter past the windows in the early morning light.

The young sommelier was filling me in on the carousing he and Bryce had reveled in with Cal, Jake, Sheila E and Cat G late into the night. By his portrayal, the whole of Mountain Village must be painted in deep shades of crimson now. Cal and Bryce had apparently answered the call of the wild to entertain the packed ballroom in the Hotel Madeline.

From Adolpho's telling, he and Jake, with Sheila and Cat rooting them on, had watched as Cal had enticed the shy Bryce, in youthful throes of stoned ebullience, to perform a cabaret-style impromptu strip-tease on the stage. Or a bar. I hadn't quite determined that part yet. The two must have brought the house down, I surmised, knowing the sex-appeal of both the men. I envisioned them together charming the crowd. Cal was notoriously exhibitionist in his party-mode and the pent-up anxieties from the previous day had evidently psyched him well for an overdue release.

Adolpho related how another celebrity presence in the area for the festival, the star of the Broadway musical, 'Kinky Boots', Wayne Brady, had been talked into joining the drag revue unfolding about the time my boys had arrived. Thirty minutes into Brady's donning of the drag queen MC's thigh-high, red-sequined boots, Cal had been spotted near the back of the room. Towering over everyone, he had been power-hitting Jake.

It hadn't taken much to coerce the tall hunk into joining Wayne on stage where an extra pair of boots had been produced. Cal had played the crowd, slithering up on the bar, extending his legs skyward while his pants were removed and the boots were pulled on him. All right there in front of the looney crowd. The mental snapshot of my brother-in-law up on the stage in speedo and thigh boots was an arousing one.

He had then literally collared and yanked the naïve blond bombshell, Bryce, up beside him. The two had camped the place, along with the Broadway icon, erogenously re-enacting Wayne's opening scene and disrobing in strobe.

Ersatz kitsch and bombast had abounded, per Adolpho's entertaining depiction. As it happened, by the end of the scene up on the adjacent long mahogany bar, Cal's tens had somehow been coaxed awake. The enormous boner had apparently peeked past Cal's speedo confines, which had rocked those queens' world... I could just picture it all. Not the least of which was the image of my best man, Jake, hanging back on the wall, calmly taking it in. Content in indulging his alpha-man husband and no doubt happy in his own anonymity.

At least I now understood the mystery of all four boys bouncing into our bed at 2:30 AM, covered in some kind of oil and very little clothing. The ensuing orgy had pulled Jeremy and myself in and gooey loads later, we had all collapsed together. The sheets were going to need bleaching, I smirked to myself.

Presently, Adolpho and I were the only bedmates capable of rising and taking nourishment. Fleecy white bathrobes draped us following our wakeup shower and we mulled things over. The dogs lounged contentedly beneath us after a snowy romp.

I responded to the initial enquiry about the MC's allusion to cauliflower. "Dolph, I think she must have been talking about the oversight by the Academy in nominating any minorities for Awards this year." It seemed allegorically feasible, I thought, and a fitting joke given the alternative venue laced by celebs, as the place had been. We snickered over the clever witticism.

"You know, I think that Wayne Brady must be at least bi-curious," Adolpho opined. "He was salivating over Cal the whole time. And come to think, it was him that singled out Cal from the stage to begin with. Jake and I thought it was just ramping up audience participation, but Mr. Brady sure kept 'accidentally' bumping and grinding Cal up there. It's pretty obvious why Cal sprang a boner. That horn dog." I wondered to whom the Italiano was referring.

Though Cal was extremely carnal, Wayne Brady was infamous for his gay innuendos in public forums. Many guessed his proclivity, even though he wasn't 'out'. That in itself was a stirring thought. The 'new Monty Hall' was a hottie in his own right. It was a wonder that the Kinky Boots star hadn't shown up here with the boys last night.

Third cups of Blue Mountain coffee later found Dolph helping me crank up the hot tub heaters and jets. I figured everyone would enjoy the morning snowfall amidst the nursing of certain hangovers, and my husband needed heat application with massage for his aching neck and shoulder. The idea sounded great on both scores. There were already several snow rabbits, a doe and a couple of black squirrels hunting and grazing close by as the snow flurries thickened. The ambience was perfect.

Racing back inside, barefoot and freezing in only our robes, we found my man and Jake pouring mugs of fresh coffee. They were also sporting just robes and acted surprised when we burst through the door in the same. "You guys must be nuts--- or nutless, one of the two--- being out there like that," Jake scolded, "Here, lemme check out those scrotums, boys." He was still revved from partying, and we jested about the vaudeville performers shirking the morning upstairs. He playfully cupped us both in passing, sure enough palming shriveled, retracted ball-less sacks.

"Baby man, it sure sounds like we missed some performance last night. Did you hear what went on downhill at the Madeline?" Jeremy fucked me silly before we had fallen asleep and I knew he wasn't complaining. I swatted him as I sat on him in the fireside recliner.

"What, the accommodations weren't to your liking, JK? Is that what I'm hearing?" It was always fun ragging Jeremy, as the man took everything out of my mouth as gospel, even after two decades. The fact warmed my heart. His puppy-dog look appeared and the sore-shouldered patient surfaced. I rubbed everything except my man's sore spots in making my tease points. He loosened up. The lack of cynicism was so endearing.

"No, my man, you are not. I ain't ever gonna be gettin' ee-nuf' o' MY bootilicious stuff," as he slanged and squeezed my cakes. I nipped his lip, informing him about our plan for soaking outside. Basking in my luck...and his swelling lap.

Homemade granola with fruit and yogurt later, and after dragging the straggler dick-dancers downstairs, all six of us traipsed to the hot tub. Sharing a couple of joints, we played happily together in rejoining the Oreo Review, as Jake was dubbing it.

My best boy's take lent even more nuance to the already lurid tale. It would seem that Bryce had pulled Adolpho into the bathroom afterward and the two had been caught red-handed there. Bryce went to begging his man's forgiveness for acting out like he had, seeking atonement by blowjob. Not even necessary, Adolpho wasn't turning down the attention. The two had been blitzed enough that they hadn't bothered to break it off when accosted. iPhones had tallied an additional tale, and probable uploads to free video websites, for ski week adventurers to re-hash upon their return to the real world. Dolph had abashedly omitted the juicy tidbit and we all razzed the two mercilessly between tokes.

Pulling on heavy lined boots over waterproof outer wear in our en suite closet, Jake and I discussed whether to call for an update on the couple up at the summit before hiking down to dinner on the piazza. We were looking for more immersion with the festival mood what with the snowy onslaught but our need for the knowledge of well-being was bothering our consciences. "You know that the visiting nurses will let us know the status, and it's still early yet, Luke. Besides, with the whiteout, they may be having trouble getting up the trail. We should just go ahead with the boys. We have our phones, y'know."