A Joke Too Far

"AHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed as she took several steps back.

I was laughing my ass off.

"What ...? What ...?"

I moved to show her what was on TV. "Martha Stewart is making soufflés," I told her. "See? It's just soufflés."

She had a huge smile on her face. She tried to look angry, but she just couldn't commit to it. She shook a finger at me. "Okay. You know what happens next."

"Bring it on," I challenged her. "I guarantee you won't get me again. You hear me? GUARANTEE! So, what do you think about that?"

"I think your mouth just wrote a check that your ass can't cash," she answered.

"Ooooooooo. Watcha gonna do, Nanna? You've invaded the US with aliens, you've cut off your finger, and you've died. Not much else you can do."

"Don't be surprised," she said straight-facedly, and nothing more. It was an ominous warning that I should have heeded.

March twenty-eighth, Nanna called me at twelve-thirty a.m., and she was crying terribly. When I finally got her to calm down, I asked her what was wrong.

"I-It's Irma, Wesley." Irma was Nanna's best friend. They had been friends longer than I had been alive. "She passed away this evening. Oh, Wesley. What am I going to do?"

Immediately my mind flashed back to that warning from two months ago. "Nanna, is this that prank you told me was coming?"

"Wesley, I would never joke about something like this! Irma is dead. My best friend is dead, Wesley." She began to cry again.

"I'm sorry, Nanna. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

"I just need you to be here for me, Wesley. Can you do that?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll be there."

"The viewing is on the thirty-first from six p.m. to midnight, and the funeral is at twelve-thirty at the cemetery."

I could make my Tuesday classes, but I would need to tell my Monday and Wednesday instructors that I would be out Wednesday for the funeral. "I'll be there Tuesday around three, Nanna. Okay?"

"Thank you, Wesley." She didn't hang up, just continued to cry into the phone.

"You know what, Nanna? I'll go ahead and come now. School can do without me for a few days."

"Are you sure?"

"You need me more than the Bill of Rights does at the moment, so, yeah. I'll see you in a couple of hours." I packed some things, including a dark blue suit, and made my way to Nanna's.

The days leading up to Irma's wake were spent with me listening to Nanna tell one story after another that bespoke the truest bonds of their friendship. Yeah, I'll admit that I was bored at times, but I never allowed Nanna to know that.

As we were preparing to go to the wake, I asked, "Isn't it a bit odd to have a wake extend to midnight?"

"I thought the same thing, to be honest, Wesley, but that's what her family wanted, so that's what they did," Nanna replied. "They did say that family from out-of-state was expected. She was highly revered by all of them, so I guess they're just trying to give everyone a chance to see her one last time."

"I can respect that," I told her, and smiled to show my sincerity.

"Well, why don't you go start the car? It's cold out, and it's only going to get colder."

"Yes, ma'am," I answered, and did as she directed. About ten minutes later, Nanna came out of the house wrapped in her heaviest coat. It was currently forty-five degrees, and the forecasted overnight low was supposed to be down to the upper-twenties.

We spent every bit of that six hours at the wake. Irma's daughter introduced Nanna to every family member and friend who showed up, which was quite a large number of people. Irma had a lot of people who loved her. I see now why her death hit Nanna so hard.

When we got back home, Nanna pulled something from her front door. It was a piece of paper. She read it, then passed it to me as she said, "Wesley, what does this mean?"

I read it out loud. "Notice. Failure to pay your power bill has resulted in a disconnect of services. You may contact Northern Power Systems tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. to schedule a reconnect. Reconnect fees will apply." I looked up and said, "Nanna, didn't you pay your power bill for the month?"

"With everything that's been going on, I must have forgotten."

"Well, we can't stay here," I told her. "It's already twenty-eight degrees. Come on. I'll get us a motel room."

"Wesley, no," Nanna said in way of protest. "I really need to be in familiar surroundings tonight."

"Nanna, we'll freeze to death if we stay here."

"Nonsense. I have plenty of blankets. Now, come on." She fit her key in the door and shuddered as she stepped in. "Oh, Lord, it's cold. Help me to my room, Wesley." I did. As I helped her under her covers, she said, "S-S-So c-cold, Wesley. So c-c-cold." I had to admit, it was.

"Come on, Nanna. Let me take you to a nice, warm motel for the night."

"N-N-No. J-Just n-n-need b-b-body heat. C-C-Come o-on, W-Wesley." She began to move around under the covers, and soon she was tossing her clothes onto the floor. I made to crawl in the bed with her, but she stopped me with, "N-No, Wesley. S-S-Strip it a-a-all off. S-Skin-on-skin. It's t-t-the only w-w-way."

Reluctantly, I did. As I crawled into bed with her, she moved onto her left side and I moved close to her. "No. M-M-Must b-be d-d-direct. M-M-Move c-c-c-c-closer." I pressed my flesh against hers. She was trembling terribly. She grabbed my right hand and hugged it to her. Actually, she inadvertently placed it on her breast. I could feel her nipple harden at my touch. I could also feel the heat from between her legs drawing my penis to it like iron to a magnet.

I felt my penis growing, longer, harder, and as much as I willed it not to do so, it continued of its own volition. It was soon jabbing Nanna's inner thigh. "Ow, what's that?" she asked, and before I could answer, she raised her right leg a little and my cock boinged straight upwards; it came to rest just at the parting of her labia. The heat was incredible. My dick head felt as if it were being scalded.

"Nanna, I'm sorry, I—"

She raised her leg higher and pushed back, and I felt myself enter her. She moaned loudly, and I did the same. I made to pull out as I said, "Nanna, I—"

Nanna reached back and held me to her as she shuddered, and not from the cold, but from an orgasm. "Oh, Wesley. Keep it there, keep it there. Please."

"Nanna? No. We can't—"

"I need this so much right now, Wesley," she said as she began to slowly rock back and forth on my penis. "I've lost Irma, I've lost your grandfather. Please, Wesley. You don't know how badly I need this."

I was really trying to wrap my mind around what was going on, and then I noticed that my hips had begun moving with a will of their own. I was actually slowly thrusting into her as she pushed back on me.

"Oh, yes, Wesley. Yes. Give Nanna what she needs right now. It feels so good, so good." She shuddered again with another orgasm, and I felt her lava-hot cum drip down my shaft and onto my balls as her pussy clinched my cock. I shuddered as well and shot a massive load of cum deep into her seasoned womb. "Oooohhhhh, Nannaaaaaaa!"

"Yes," she said as she worked faster against me. As I began to relax a bit, she said, "Keep going, Wesley. Please, keep going." She raised her leg as high as it would go, and I felt my cock push in to the hilt. "OOOHHHH!!" she screamed as she came again. This emboldened me, and I continued to make love to her, giving her every inch of my swollen cock.

"Oh, Wesley. That's it. In and out, back and forth, so very slowly." She shuddered with another orgasm as I remained diligent in my duty to her. I kept up the pace and the depth for another twenty minutes, then pulled her close as I came again. "Oh, Wesley. That's right. Give me your cum. Now hold me, Wesley, just hold me. I just need to be held right now." We lay there in silence, and soon we both were asleep.

I awoke the next morning to find that it wasn't a dream, but that it had actually happened. Nanna was lying next to me, a dreamy smile on her face. "Good morning," I said to her.

"Good morning yourself," she replied. She slid her hand to my crotch to find I was hard. "Is that for me?"

"Do you want it?"

She lay on her back and spread her legs. I mounted her and slid my cock into her searing pussy. "Ohhhh, shit," I whispered as I entered her. We began kissing. It was tentative at first, but soon we found our groove. My mouth never left hers as I thrust my hard cock as deep into her as it would go. She raked her nails across my back as she came, and a few minutes later I emptied myself into her once again as our lips continued their sultry dance.

She finally pulled back and smiled at me. "That was wonderful, Wesley. Now let me up. I need a strong cup of coffee after a wake-up call like that."

"Ma'am?" I asked as she stood and put on a thick house coat.

"I'll be in the kitchen," she said as she walked out the door, leaving me to wonder if her faculties had completely left her.

I entered the kitchen and said, "Nanna, you do remember that your power got turned off yesterday, don't you?"

"Oh, that?" she asked. She walked to the breaker box, opened it, and flipped the main switch. The lights came on and the heater immediately kicked in.

"What the hell?" I asked. I know the look on my face could never be properly described.

She pointed at me and said, "I warned you. I told you I was going to get you back. Oh. Will you look at the calendar? What day is it? April Fools!"

I just stared at her. I was in complete and utter shock. "You ... You planned this whole thing?"

"Oh, W-W-Wesley. I'm s-s-so c-c-c-cold," she said mockingly, then burst into laughter.

"You told me that you wouldn't—"

"I told you that I would never joke about Irma dying, and I didn't. However, it did present me with the perfect opportunity to get you, and I did."

I was trying my best to wrap my mind around this revelation, then something occurred to me. "The prank was last night, Nanna. What we did today? You wanted it."

She bowed her head, then softly said, "And so did you."

She was right. My newly-erect cock was a testament to that fact. "I ... I still do, Nanna."

She stared for all of fifteen seconds, then walked to me, took my hand, and led me to the couch. She lay down, cocked her legs back, and after I finished stripping off my clothes, I entered her. I worked her pussy over good, and ten minutes later I was cumming inside her. She pulled me to her and kissed me. "Where is this going to lead?" she asked me.

"Hopefully, to more of this," I answered honestly.

"Do you really want that, Wesley? Do you want that with me?"

"We've always shared a special bond, Nanna. Isn't this the next practical step?"

"It would make me so happy if it were."

I picked her up and carried her upstairs where we made love for the next couple of hours. I looked at the clock when we finished our fourth round of sex, and exclaimed, "Nanna! Irma's funeral! We're missing it!"

She looked at the clock. "12:45? Have we really been making love that long?"

"I'm sorry, Nanna."

She pulled me to her and began kissing me again. She reached for my cock and massaged it. It didn't take too long to get me hard once again, and once I was, she guided me between her legs, and just before I entered, she said, "God rest Irma's soul."

As we lay together in the afterglow of our union, she said, "You know, we still have about eight good months to ourselves before your folks return. Think of all the fun we can have until that time."

"But what happens afterwards?" I asked.

"Two people who love each other can always find a way to be together, Wesley. Don't worry. We'll find a way." She rubbed my belly, then slid a hand between my legs. "Damn, boy. Doesn't that thing ever get tired?"

"It will always be hard for you, Nanna. I can promise you that much." She turned on her side and lifted her leg. I entered her. Round seven.

I paid a visit to Carlos the following day as it had been a long time since he and I last hung out. I was happy to see that he had started his own computer repair business that he was running from his parents' garage. "Yeah, man. It's been pretty successful, too. I have a good number of clients, mostly people we went to school with, but their word of mouth has gotten me a lot of newer clients as well."

"I'm glad to hear that, man. So, other than the business, how are things?"

He looked at me with a seriousness he had never before shown. "We've been friends since kindergarten, right?" I nodded. "Best friends, really, so I should be able to talk to you about anything, right?"

"Yeah, bud. Sure. What is it?"

He studied me hard for about thirty seconds, then said, "I've been having sex with my sister for the past six months."

I held my hand up to my waist signifying a little more than three feet and asked, "Lita?" Lita, Carlos's sister, was a little person.

"Yeah," he answered, and then explained the whole story to me.

I felt compelled to do the same. "I ... Uh ... I've been having sex with my Nanna."

He looked at me, raised a curious eyebrow, then burst into laughter. "You know what? I knew that was going to happen. Don't ask me how, but I always knew."

We laughed a little more, talked some more about it, then moved on to other subjects before I took my leave of him. I returned home to Nanna a few hours later, and once again we were making love. Although I had told her what I did earlier more as a joke than anything else, I found that when it came to sex with her, regardless of how much she wanted it—and she wanted it all the time—that I was always ready at the drop of a hat, and she so willingly took advantage of that. Not that I minded, of course. Not at all.

As Spring Semester drew to a close, Nanna called me and was so excited that she could hardly contain herself. Of course, I couldn't get her to divulge what had gotten her so riled up. "You will just have to wait and see when you get here," she told me, "but you will absolutely LOVE it. More than I do, if I know you as well as I think I do."

"Okay, Nanna. I'll see you around two on Friday," I told her.

I arrived home, and once I had stepped through the door, Nanna threw herself on me and began to pepper my face with kisses. "I love you so much, Wesley. I love you so very much, and I can't even begin to imagine what would make me love you even more, or how much happier I could possibly be with you. That is, until I saw this." She handed me a little box that was wrapped in sparkly gold paper. "Go ahead. Open it," she said with a huge smile on her face.

I did, and when I saw what it was, I was stunned with disbelief. "How ... How does something like this happen?"

"Well, first you put your erect penis inside of my very wet vagina—"

"No," I said as I shook my head violently. I picked up the EPT, looked at the little plus sign that was a statement to her pregnancy, and said, "Didn't you go through menopause? How are you even capable of getting pregnant at your age?"

She just stared at me. I felt like a complete goofball. I just called her old to her face. I know I hurt her feelings terribly. "Oh, Nanna. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

She burst into laughter. "HA! GOTCHA!"

I just stared at her. My heart dropped. "Nanna, you scared the shit out of me."

"Again?" she asked, and began laughing even harder. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

I scooped her into my arms and began carrying her to her room. "I'm going to try to make a baby with you."

"Oh, Wesley."

"I would have been proud to give you a baby, Nanna." I said as I lay her on her bed.

She just looked at me. "You really would, wouldn't you?" She stripped her clothes off and spread her legs. I entered her. We made love.

Ma and Daddy returned in November, like it mattered. Nanna was right. Two people in love will always find a way to be together, and we have been to this day.