A Legacy of Shadows

"Can I tell you something naughty?"

Sarah's tone was teasing, but beneath it, there was a hint of something else, perhaps nervousness.

"Yes," I said, and before I could say more, she leaned into me and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside of my mouth. I loved her taste, but there was something just a little different tonight.

"So, before I came down here, I made a quick stop in Isa's room. You'll never guess where my tongue was just a few minutes ago..."

Holy shit. I was already hard, but this...this was almost too much. I felt my control slipping as I gripped her hair at the base of her neck and pulled back hard. She gasped, but her lips were parted, and she was breathing very hard. Her eyes showed nothing but trust and invitation. God, she was amazing.

I pulled her in and kissed her again, fiercely. I released her from my grip, sensing that she wanted to take charge to some degree tonight. She broke free and then gently pushed me away, but only to guide me with light touches onto my back. She turned the bedside lamp on, dispelling the darkness of the room and showing herself off in the soft light and shadow. I didn't mind at all, but she usually preferred the lights to be off, retaining a bit of shyness. She smiled down at me then pulled the loose pants off. I lifted my hips to help her. They were the only clothes that I had been wearing.

Sarah casually stroked my cock and looked down at me.

"Can I take care of you tonight, Reuben? Will you let me do that?"

I nodded, and Sarah positioned herself so that she was at my side and took my cock in her mouth down to the root. I groaned and rubbed her back. She moved her head up and down, gagging but not stopping. She moved with a strange intensity, and I will admit that the feel of her little tongue and tight mouth nearly made me cum right there. She released my cock with a little pop and smiled at me.

"Do you want to cum inside me tonight, Reuben? I'd like that quite a bit..."

Sarah's eyes showed intense arousal, but something bothered me, just a little. My train of thought was broken by her straddling me, facing away, in reverse cowgirl. She bent way over to do so, more than she had too, and I could see that her panties were, in fact, crotchless. Her wetness gleamed in the soft lighting, and her pose enflamed my desire. She arched her back and held that position for longer than was necessary, rose up, and started to guide my cock inside of her. She looked over her shoulder as she slowly rode down its length, moaning loudly.

"Fuck," I said eloquently. She squeezed my cock as she finished. Then gave me a lovely little smile and started riding me.

It was different than ever before, and not just because she was in charge. In a way, she wasn't. She was on top and in control, but I could tell that she wanted to please me, and she was. She moved up and down, and I put my hands on her svelte hips. She moved even more intensely, arching her back and crying out. She came, and it was real, and it almost pushed me over.

"Please, Reuben...say it," Sarah gasped without looking over her shoulder.

"Say what?"

"Say that you love me. Please!"

I wasn't expecting that at all. I did love her, at least a little bit, but I'd never expected her to demand to be told. That didn't feel like her at all. Of course, I thought of that in the afterglow. Not at the moment. At the moment, I just needed to cum, and I wanted to make her happy.

"I love you, Sarah," I gasped.

"No, shit, I mean, fuck, I'm cumming!"

I groaned as well, emptying myself inside her, not thinking about her words or behavior or anything but filling her with my seed. When it was done, she smoothly rolled off of me and moved up and kissed me, long and slow. Then, without a word, she stood up, picked up her robe from the chair, put it on, and left, closing the door quietly.

I was left tired and only partly sated. More importantly, I was filled with a deep concern that I was too tired to cope with at the moment. She typically stayed after sex and always wanted to talk and cuddle. Everything about this encounter was a bit odd. I passed into a fitful sleep of dreams that I was happy not to remember.

* * *

I woke in the morning feeling somewhat rested but not relieved. The way Sarah had acted the previous night had been strange, even for our situation. She had been...performative. It made me worry that I'd never truly understood her.

No. Last night had been an exception, not the rule. I wondered if it had even been her idea. I hadn't asked her, but she'd showed up at ten pm on the dot, as if on a schedule.

The question was if she was performing on a schedule, who was it for?

Fortunately, I had some secret skills. By which I mean, I had google on my phone. I took the chance that I wasn't that closely monitored, which was a risk. If we were being recorded, then a night-vision camera would be required. That would need infrared light, and apparently, most phones had a camera that could detect infrared. A few minutes later, I'd downloaded an inexpensive app.

I got up and closed the shades, and turned off the lights. The room plunged into darkness with just a hint of light escaping from the bottom of the windows. I fired up the app and moved it around the room. I didn't even need it, as it turned out.

The app handily put a little red box around every IR light it found, but the lights were plainly visible on my phone's screen. Five. I counted five separate sources of infrared light. Two were in upper corners, one was in the wall at the foot of the bed, one was in the headboard itself, and one was embedded in the ceiling, directly above where I would sleep. Or where I'd fucked Sarah.

They were, to my mind, precisely the kinds of viewpoints that someone would want if they were interested in some involuntary amateur pornographic entertainment. For just a moment, I was enraged.

I didn't fight it. That didn't work. I shared my father's anger issues, to be sure, but I also shared his iron will. I let the anger pass through me, allowed the unwanted images of violence to run through my mind, but I didn't focus on it. I stood and breathed. Whatever action I took would have to be careful. This could be anything from someone blackmailing me to Sarah having some private agenda to a security guard getting their rocks off on being a voyeur. The less I appeared to be aware of the problem, the less likely anyone would be able to cover up the issue or get away before I could confront them. And I wanted to confront them.

I got dressed, much like any other day. I took my time. When I left my room, I turned left instead of right towards the small dining area where Isa, Sarah, and I typically had breakfast. I was hoping that, like most mornings, Sarah would be compiling some last-minute reports for my sister to read. I was right.

Sarah's office was small, really not much bigger than a cubicle, but it was cozy, too. There was inlaid dark wood on the walls with images of figures in worship, as the room had been a small family chapel at one point. She was typing with one hand, mousing with the other, and had a pen in her mouth. Her messy hair and untucked shirt told me that she'd probably gotten up late after our activities. In other words, she looked rather adorable. It almost blunted the tip of my anger.

Almost.

Sarah looked up at me and smiled. Before, I would have called her smile eager, perhaps even loving. Now? I didn't know. How good of an actress was she? I gave her a thin smile in return and crooked my finger at her. She jumped up and followed me out into the hall.

"What's this..." she started, but I put my finger to my lips. I led her down a short corridor and then outside. The back of our house was partially landscaped, but groves of natural trees were everywhere, presenting a mix of natural and man-made scenery. I led Sarah into a small group of fruit trees about fifty yards away. Their leaves were mostly dead, but not all of them had fallen yet. They rustled ominously in the chill morning breeze.

Sarah stopped before I did. I turned around and looked at her, keeping my anger in check and my face neutral.

"Reuben," Sarah said as if noticing her surroundings for the first time, "why did you take me out here?" Her voice quavered just slightly with fear.

I ignored her question.

"Is there anything you want to tell me? Now is the time."

Sarah's mouth opened and closed once. She looked around, but there was no one. She ignored my question too.

"Are...are you going to hurt me? Is that why we're out here?"

There was no deception in her eyes. Her arms were crossed protectively over herself. Sarah knew what my father had been like, and that made her fear me. She was smart, though, and didn't try to run. There was no point running from a De Heer when you were on his property. You'd just make him angrier.

"No. I will not harm you. I wanted to have this conversation with you where there was a small chance that we weren't being recorded. I will confess that a certain part of me wanted to push you up against the wall of the corridor and simply demand the truth, but no, I care about you too much to ever truly hurt you. I want...well Iwanted to make you happy. That doesn't really matter now. You knew about the cameras."

I didn't ask it as a question, and she didn't answer it like one. She simply nodded and looked down.

"Is it for blackmail? Does Isa want more control over me? Or is it some game you're playing on your own?"

"Reuben ...it's not like that..."

"Then what is it like? Do you and my sister sit in bed and laugh at my performance? Is it a joke?"

"No! I...we would never..."

"Then explain it to me."

Sarah froze, completely. She was, in the end, not a very good actress. Her heart was on her sleeve the majority of the time. In this case, it was evident that she was deeply conflicted.

"I...I can't."

"No," I said coldly, "you won't. There's a difference. Did we ever have sex without being recorded?"

Sarah shook her head.

I turned to walk away, then stopped and looked back at her. There were tears in her eyes.

"Don't come to my room again," I said, before stalking back to the house.

I thought about going to get my breakfast in the kitchen but decided that I'd rather not avoid confrontation. I went to eat with my sister.

When I arrived she was reading something on her phone, then her eyes darted up to meet mine, narrow and sharp as razors. She was wearing a roomy sweater over simple slacks. It hung off of one of her ivory shoulders and was quite fetching.

"I assume that was Sarah," I said as I filled my plate and poured myself a coffee.

"You shouldn't eat while you're angry," Isa said, sipping some of her own.

"Then I'd starve. Because I'm always finding new reasons to be angry. New provocations from my own family."

Isa sighed. I had expected a fight, but she looked too tired for one. I didn't care.

"Reuben, please understand..."

"Understand what? That you and Sarah have been filming me without my permission?"

"Yes."

"I can't understand it. Because Sarah wouldn't explain it to me."

"She's bad at lying but good at keeping secrets. She hated deceiving you, but she won't betray me. That's why she wouldn't tell you what the cameras were for."

Isa stopped talking and ate a small bite of fruit. Others might have thought that she was the same cold and controlled woman that they were used to, but not me. I saw the slight twitch of the eye and the tremor in her hand. She was worried. Afraid even.

"What are they for, Isa? It's not like you to be this...this underhanded. Or coy when you're caught."

"Things didn't go so well when you were gone, Reuben."

"And?"

"And... I'm not...I can't..."

Isa stopped and stared at her plate. For the first time since discovering the cameras, I wasn't full of self-righteous anger.

"You can't what?"

"I can't be with men. Not like I want to be. So...sometimes...I film Sarah with men, and watch her. Then...I can be with them, by proxy."

"So you share Sarah with any man who drops by, is that it? So you can get off?"

"No! I love her!"

"Is this why you pushed her on me? So I could be your entertainment? So I could get you off like the old days but without any of that oh-so-inconvenient emotion and affection?"

Isa was crying now. I heard the door close behind us. Sarah walked by me without looking and then knelt next to Isa. I wondered how long she had been standing in the doorway. She whispered something, and Isa nodded. Then Sarah said something else, and Isa shook her head violently. Sarah sighed, rose, and sat at the table. I looked at both of them, confused.

"I expected a certain amount of intrusion into my privacy, Isa," I started, much calmer than I was before if not actually relaxed, "but this is too much. If I can't even have a room to myself...or a partner...I can't live here. You have to know that. I care about you. I care about Sarah, too. But I can't deal with this kind of betrayal anymore. Not from people who are close to me. I'm going to have to leave. You take whatever action that you feel is necessary."

Sarah looked at Isa, ignoring me. I waited. There was a tense feeling of expectation in the air. Something was on the cusp of happening.

"If you don't tell him," Sarah said, with more conviction than I had ever heard from her, "then I will. He's not just leaving you. He's going to leaveus."

"Sarah," Isa said, suddenly quiet and vulnerable, "Don't. Please."

"Reuben," Sarah said softly, turning to face me, "Isa doesn't share me with just anyone. She's filming us because she wants to watch me...us having sex and being happy. Isa has to trust that whoever I sleep with will care for me and not do anything that I don't want. She trusts you, Reuben."

I blinked. I wasn't expecting that. All I had from Isa was coldness with moments of occasional warmth. There was no indication of the old flame that had been there, or the close affection or adoration.

Sarah reached out and took Isa's hand in hers. The two shared a small, sad smile, and looked at me.

"This is more complicated than it seems, Reuben," Sarah said, "and I can't just explain everything and make it all go away. Some of it isn't mine to tell. I don't really even know all of it, but I do know that Isa cares a great deal for you. I do as well. I want you to stay. I want...I want to be with you. I never lied about how I felt, or how good you made me feel, or anything else. Some of the things I did were for the camera, it was true, but I wanted to be there...and I do love you, Reuben. I won't deceive you again."

"I'm sorry," Isa said, finally, "I'm sorry that I'm like this. I just... I'll take the cameras down. No more monitoring. Just please don't leave again."

I looked at them, my face stony, but my heartbreaking. Sarah was telling the truth. I knew that. Isa was holding something back from me, but she wasn't lying about the essential facts. She still loved me, even if she didn't want to be with me like we were when we were young. Part of me wanted to revive our old forbidden romance, it was true. Even if that could never happen, it felt good to know that my sister still cared for me. I worried about her, too. I didn't hate either of them. I couldn't.

"I'll think about it," I said, standing and leaving the room. For the first day, since I'd been back, I canceled my meetings and simply spent the day in thought, wandering the grounds, reading in the library, calming my mind. How was I supposed to feel about all of this? How was I supposed to react?

I suppose that I do have at least two voices within me. One is reasonable and measured, maybe even cold, although caring. That one comes from my mother. The voice that comes from my father, on the other hand, told me to hurt Isa through Sarah. It told me to make the lesson slow and painful and memorable. I decided not to listen to it this time.

There wasn't exactly a self-help book on how to figure out why your sister secretly films you having sex with her lover. If there was, I would definitely have read it.

* * *

I stayed, of course, in the end. Part of me worried that this was some kind of manipulation, but that part was just my natural paranoia. I sent a rather formal email to Sarah and Isa, informing them of my intent to stay and "work through our disagreements." I sent a private note to the former that stated that for the time being I only wanted our meetings to be about business. I didn't trust myself with confronting them directly. I feared losing my temper and demanding the entire truth from Isa. I'd seen her vulnerable before, maybe more than any other person ever had. Certainly more than any other man had. But for the first time, I realized that she was genuinely fragile. Broken, even.

If she had asked to film me having sex with Sarah, for her own use, I would probably have agreed. It would have made the experience more arousing. I would have tried to seduce Isa through it. As perverted as it made me sound, I would have relished the opportunity. It was the deception that I despised. It was very similar to the way Father would keep us in the dark, and never entirely lie but withhold enough of the truth to make real understanding of a situation impossible. Knowledge was power, and he never wanted anyone to have more power than he did.

I decided that at some point soon, I would need to have a longer conversation with Isa. I believed that she was sorry, and I wanted to forgive her. I couldn't do it yet, though, not without a better understanding of what my sister was truly going through and what she was keeping from me.

That being said, more pressing matters soon took up most of our attention, and I set this drama aside. All of it would come to a head soon enough.

----------------------------------------------

The Brigantine, Revisited

----------------------------------------------

"You want me to go back? Have you lost your mind?"

Isa laughed at me.

"Aren't you being a bit dramatic?" She asked. She was leaning on the side of her desk while I looked out the window. It was already dark. I turned to look at her.

"Maybe. But I told you I didn't like what I had to do last time."

"Not even with Tonya?" The way my sister pronounced her name was odd, as if she was rolling a particularly tasty morsel around her mouth.

"It was the conflict in advance of Tonya that I have issues with. I have no complaints about the time I spent with her. I even felt...something like a connection. Not that it matters, I suppose."

"Well," Isa said, in a voice I could almost swear was teasing, "that's interesting. But yes. I need you to make another appearance. And maybe one more after that. You need to be seen, but this time you don't have to interact with others."

"So, I'm just going straight upstairs, spending time with Tonya, and leaving?"

"Exactly," Isa said.

I sighed. I knew that her logic was sound. It always was.

"Fine. I'll be ready. Tonight?"

"No. I have you booked for tomorrow night. Is that all right?"

"That would be fine."

It seemed so business-like and straightforward. I liked Tonya from the brief time we had spent together, and Isa seemed to approve of her too. It was a lot like sharing Sarah, except more straightforward and open. But things were about to get a great deal more complicated.

* * *

This time things started more smoothly. I got ready faster, Isa was waiting at the door with a new mask for me, this time something leonine in brass. Rachel held the SUV door open for me, passenger side front this time. It was black and looked vaguely sinister in the evening light.

"No limo tonight?" I asked as Rachel got in.

"Not unless you really want it. We can be a little more subtle tonight than last time. No need to be ostentatious."