A Life More Ordinary Ch. 06

"Thanks for stopping by!" he said, handing Jodi her items.

"Thank you!" she responded, turning to Kay. "And thank you for the parsnip! Any word on the cauliflower?"

"Should be ready in a few days, I'm looking forward to that curry you mentioned." Kay smiled and bowed graciously as Jodi left with a light spring in her step. Abby smirked as she started unpacking the paper towels into their appointed shelves.

"You know," Pierre said imperiously, "when I was a lad, it was considered proper to focus one's attention on a single paramour at a time." Abby laughed out loud as Kay turned her number two glare on the shopkeeper.

"Come on! I've only been here a week! Why does everyone think I'm constantly on the make?" Kay said. It was getting a little ridiculous. She emptied her parsnips into a waiting crate on the counter.

"You mean you aren't?" Pierre responded, chuckling as he took the crate and headed back to the stock room. "Give me a minute to look through these."

"He's got a point," Abby said, continuing to fill and straighten the shelves. "Assuming you haven't done anything with Leah, I can think of three girls you've exchanged some kind of intimacy with, and I can think of at least two more you'd like to add to that list. Maybe the valley is having an effect on you, too." Kay kept her trap shut, lest she reveal that she had been intimate with Leah, though in a very specific way, and that there were four other women she'd like to get to know better.

It was a valid point, however. "Maybe you've got something there," she said. "Melvyn said he couldn't tell where my magic ends and the valley's starts. It's possible I'm more easily affected by whatever turns on the hormones around here, and I wouldn't know it if the energy can blend in with my own."

Abby finished stocking the shelves and walked over to Kay, wrapping her arms around the farmer's waist. "I hope you're not implying that last night was a sham." Kay could see a bit of genuine hurt in Abby's eyes. She tilted Abby's head up and kissed her gently, wiping away a tear.

"Of course not," she replied, "I feel very strongly for you."

"Do you loooooooooove me?" Abby asked with a grin.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, I take things like that seriously."

"Then say it again."

Kay looked deeply into Abby's eyes. "I love you, Abigail Chandler," she said without hesitation. She felt her heart leap a bit as she said it. The grin vanished from Abby's face, overtaken by a look of fierce emotion.

"I love you, Kaylia Gardner," she responded. She raised her lips to Kay's and sealed their declarations with a kiss. A series of loud coughs signaled Pierre's return, and Kay disentangled from Abby.

"Right," Pierre said, the antique register on the counter dinging as he totaled Kay's offering up. "That fertilizer must be working wonders, those parsnips are much higher quality on average."

"I'm glad, I wasn't sure it would actually work." Pierre nodded, handing Kay a slip with the total price she'd brought in.

"Need anything before you cash out?"

Kay nodded. "Spuds. As many as this will buy." Pierre smirked as he pulled a box of seed packets from under the counter and handed it to Kay.

"I figured you might. Let's see Morris anticipate a customer's needs like that."

Kay smirked, accepting the box and turning to Abby. "I should get going," she said, and Abby nodded.

"Have a good day! Think sexy things about me!" Pierre rolled his eyes.

"Count on it." Kay smiled as she left, seeming to walk on air.

*****

With the rain saving a bit of effort watering the fields, and with the local fortune-teller's pronouncement of favorable tides ("The spirits are very happy today!"), Kay decided another trip to the mine was in order. She returned to the farm and made quick work of spreading the potato seeds where the parsnips had been previously. That task done, she picked up her pickaxe, sword, and a few field snacks before taking another trip up the mountain. All of the walking and various farm-related activities were keeping her in the best shape of her life, and she was sure she wouldn't be the only one to appreciate the results.

Kay took the elevator down to level 10, the furthest she'd gone on her last visit, and climbed down the ladder in the corner. She noted the air growing slightly warmer and more humid as she descended. The walls and floor of the cavern were dotted with plant life, and small pools of water gathered throughout. It was little wonder the local ecosystem was growing out of control with such conditions. Luckily, the local Adventurer's Guild found a ready solution in a 6' 3" former general with a lot of negative emotions to work out.

Kay made quick progress through the mines, subduing all manner of slimes, bugs, and aggressive moles. Most were easily dispatched, but there was a particular species of rock-armored crab that proved a bit tricky. They were fairly adept at hiding behind their rocky shells, deflecting any attack that struck them whilst so protected. Eventually, Kay got fed up and took to smashing them with her pickaxe, the tool making short work of the armor. This method proved especially helpful in harvesting the crabs themselves, which meant one more checkbox for the Junimos.

She reached floor 20 with a pack laden with copper ore, stone, coal, a fair amount of bug parts (she figured they would make excellent fishing bait), a selection of minerals and precious stones, a specimen of some sort of subterranean carrot, and a few crabs. Like on the tenth floor, there was a red chest awaiting her, but this floor also had an underground pond. She wandered over to look into the pool and saw a number of large, translucent fish flitting about below the surface. Might be worth fishing a few up some time, Kay thought. She returned to the chest and kicked it open to reveal an actual metal sword. It was shorter than her current wooden one (though not by much), its edge appeared keen enough, and the balance was excellent. She slung her current weapon over her shoulder and secured the new blade at her side before continuing her descent.

Around floor 22, Kay detected a shift in the air. As she stepped off the ladder, she was immediately assaulted by one of the biggest slimes she'd ever seen. Her keenly tuned battle senses and reflexes were all that prevented her from being absorbed by the massive creature. It was at least as tall as she was, possibly twice as big around as it was tall. Kay had heard of such specimens forming in established slime colonies, but she'd never expected to actually see one. She drew her sword and lined up to hit the thing as it lurched towards her. Before she could strike, she noticed something floating within the amorphous form.

"Is... is that cake?!" she said aloud. True enough, the round form of an intact cake was held suspended within the slime's body. The momentary pause allowed the slime to form a long tentacle and lash out. Kay deftly parried the blow and counterattacked, slashing a deep rift in the slime's body that slowly healed itself. Deciding offense was better than defense, Kay struck the giant slime again and again, becoming a whirl of steel as she whittled the thing down to constituent atoms. She eventually pinned it against a wall and proceeded to beat the tar out of it until it finally lost cohesion and dissolved into a large green puddle.

Kay looked down at the now-freed cake. It was a multi-layer affair, delicately coated with pink frosting, dotted with berries and conversation heart candies along the outer edge of the cake's surface, and decorated with a large fondant rose in the center. The cake looked to be free of slime, and appeared to survive its imprisonment none the worse for wear. She was flabbergasted; setting aside the alarming metaphysical quandaries raised by this "cave cake" for the moment, there was no way it would fit inside her backpack without sustaining at least moderate structural damage.

As she regarded this befuddling mystery, Kay's ears pricked up at a loud buzzing rapidly approaching from the south. A number of the large flies Kay had encountered previously were zooming towards her, no doubt with mischief on their minds. Kay leaned over to pick the cake up and held it waitstaff-style in her left hand as she turned to engage the insectoid horde.

What followed were two of the most physically and mentally taxing hours of Kay's life. After mowing her way through a veritable army of slimes and bugs, Kay traversed two more floors of the mines with a severe handicap. She thanked the Goddess for the magnetic mounts on her toolbelt, allowing her to switch between her sword and pickaxe with relative ease, because attempting to sheathe either item while holding a large, brightly-decorated cake would have been nigh impossible. The cake needed constant shepherding, effectively tying one of her arms behind her back. Also, the monster population (the slimes particularly) seemed obsessed with that cake, and their assaults seemed endless. Really, Kay should have left the cake where it was (I mean, who eats found cake, she caught herself thinking), but the task became something of a mania: she'd be damned if she let some green puddle of goop lay its greasy, on-demand appendages on her sugary prize.

Somehow, she and the cake made it unscathed to the elevator on the 25th floor. As yet another wave of flying insects barreled towards her, Kay dashed into the elevator, hit the button for the top floor, and enjoyed the sound to splattering bugs against the doors as they closed in the nick of time. As the elevator climbed, Kay was finally able to take a whiff of the delectable treat. The scent filled her nose, and she recoiled in horror and abject defeat at the cloying odor.

"No... no!" she wailed. The incredible effort, the sweat and burning muscles, the endless legions of the monster kingdom, all for nothing. The single sniff told the tale: this cake was worthless to her. "FUCKING MELON."

Kay hated pink melon.

*****

Maru generally stayed inside when it rained, but something drove her to hang out on her balcony that evening. She had an awning to divert the water away from her and her research material, and the sound of rainfall in the evening was very soothing. It wasn't the best soundtrack for a technical dissertation on common trends in modern neural network design, and Maru found her mind wandering more often than not. So it was no surprise when she heard loud grumbling coming from behind the house and heading along the mountain road. She peaked her head around the side of the house to see if she could hear it better.

"...stupid mine ecology... ugh, so many bug parts... how does a slime even get cake?!"

Maru smiled as she saw Kay emerge and head west down the road towards the farm, carrying an overloaded backpack and a cake for some reason. She quickly swung herself over the balcony railing and climbed down the reinforced trellis attached to the side of the house. "Excuse me, miss!" she called, practically running to intercept the farmer and wishing she'd left her bra on.

Kay turned to see Maru jogging over, the girl's impressive endowment completely unmoored and bouncing frantically underneath her shirt. Kay started to laugh and immediately regretted it; it hurt to move, much less laugh. She did feel better for Maru's presence.

"Miss Wright," she said, bowing her head.

"Miss Gardner," Maru replied, curtsying. "May I escort you home? I could do with a walk and I hate to see a lovely maiden alone on so treacherous a thoroughfare."

"An honor and a pleasure, my good woman, I would be delighted of your company."

Maru fell in alongside Kay as she resumed her slow pace. She was clearly sore from her exertions, and Maru deduced Kay had spent the day in the mines. Her curiosity swiftly got the better of her.

"So, what's with the cake?"

"UGH," Kay replied, causing Maru to giggle involuntarily, "this thing. Some giganto slime king had this in its... body? I sliced it to ribbons and this was the reward. I regret ever laying eyes on it."

"Why? It looks pretty tasty."

Kay sent a withering glare at Maru as she responded. "It's melon cake." Her voice dripped with disdain.

"Oh wow! And a big slime had it?"

"Yeah, AND every last Goddess-damned creature in that mine wanted it for themselves, I had to carry it like this down three floors and then to the elevator fighting them off the whole way."

Maru knew that the local monster population was surging for some reason, and it was good someone was doing something about it, but she felt bad for Kay having to go through all of that for what amounted to a booby prize. A thought occurred to her, and Maru smiled.

"Well, at least you have something for Haley's birthday."

Kay raised an eyebrow. "When's her birthday?"

"Sunday," Maru replied, "and she adores pink cake. If you have a way of keeping that chilled, you should give it to her."

The idea had merit, and Kay was glad the whole day's enterprise wasn't a total loss. Granted, she also had a veritable fortune in ore and gems in her pack, but after that gauntlet, it seemed poor compensation.

"I'll see what I can do," Kay said, thanking Maru for the insider tip.

Their walk was slow but very pleasant. Kay described the current conditions of the mine, answering Maru's questions about the ecology as best she could. She eventually turned the conversation around and listened with interest as Maru described her current robotics project. Kay loved the way Maru's face lit up when she got going on a topic that truly interested her, and she was happy to give the young scientist every opportunity to gush about her passions. Internally, Kay made a note to engineer similar opportunities for Abby; she knew far too little about Miss Chandler's interests and wanted to rectify that.

Their conversation grew livelier as they rounded the last bend and the farm came into view.

"But, so what if a machine can think the same way that we do?" Kay asked. "That feels like a terrible idea! What happens when it gets depressed, or angry? What if it decides humanity needs to die to avenge the death of the English Language?"

Maru laughed. Kay's points were valid, in a mildly deranged sort of way. "That would be terrible, yes, but that's not really the point. If we could develop an artificial intelligence that developed and functioned in the same fashion as a human brain, build something that's able to think and reason and deduce and form opinions, what might that say about how human brains work?"

Kay frowned. "I don't think the human thought process can be likened to machine code that easily."

Maru nodded. "Certainly, but it would speak to the nature of the human mind as a sort of organic computer, and maybe the techniques we use to condition or repair an artificial intelligence could be adapted to help people with cognitive disorders or design therapies for mental trauma."

The conversation wound down as they approached the farm cabin. There were five chests now lined up in front of the porch, and Kay went to the second from the right. It contained a few odd pieces of forage, some spare clams, and a parsnip she'd held back from the morning's harvest. She carefully lowered the cake into the chest, glad that there was plenty of space for it, and noticed that the interior of the chest seemed much colder than the exterior.

"That's odd..." she said absentmindedly. Maru got closer to take a look as well.

"Wait, it's refrigerated?" she asked. Kay shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess. None of the other chests are like this. Maybe something to do with the webway?"

Maru shivered a little as Kay closed the chest. Magic was still very much alien to her, even after Melvyn's explanations.

"At least everything will keep in there."

Kay dropped her pack on the porch and rubbed her eyes. In addition to being sore, she was starting to feel exhausted. The day had been a big one, and an even bigger one was in the offing tomorrow.

Maru approached Kay, her heart starting to beat faster. "Miss Gardner, before I take my leave of you, I wonder if I may kiss you."

Kay smiled. "You may."

Wrapping their arms around each other, Kay and Maru kissed. Kay ignored her soreness as their bodies came together, their tongues dancing in each others' mouths as Maru's wonderfully soft boobs pressed into Kay's chest. They moaned softly as Maru's hand drifted down first to grab Kay's toned butt, then to gently caress Kay's hardening member through her leggings.

"Oh, Miss Gardner," Maru whispered, gazing into Kay's molten red eyes, "I cannot wait until I may next wrap my lips around your wonderful cock. I yearn to again take you in my warm mouth and swallow your lovely spend."

Kay smirked in response. "Of course, Miss Wright, though I believe propriety and fairness insist I drink deeply of your precious nectar before allowing you to do so."

Maru smiled and kissed Kay deeply, hugging her tightly. Kay groaned, this time in pain rather than pleasure as a sharp stab traversed her ribs. Maru immediately released the elven goddess. "Oh, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

Kay shook her head. "I think I overdid it trying to save that stupid cake. I really hope Haley appreciates it."

"She will. She'll want to show you how much, I guarantee it." Maru backed off a step to take her leave, but stopped as a glint in the corner of her eye caught her attention. "Hey, is that a new shipping container?"

Kay wheeled and saw the blue box emblazoned with the Joja Corporation logo sitting right in front of the original shipping box. She growled involuntarily.

"It sure is, and it reminds me of something on my to-do list."

She went to the tool chest and pulled out the axe. Her exhaustion didn't seem so debilitating at the moment, supplanted by quiet rage. Maru quickly connected the dots and smiled.

"Need a hand?"

*****

The rain had picked up a bit as midnight approached, but it didn't seem to bother the dark figure that slowly descended from the night sky. It landed just beyond the boundary of Red Dragon Farm, gracefully dismounting the broom that carried it there. The rain seemed to avoid the figure, and its black robes remained dry as it walked through the protective wards onto the farm proper. After a moment, it reached up to lower the hood of its cloak, revealing a beautiful feminine face with long, lustrous black hair and deep emerald skin.

The woman looked around at the farm and nodded approvingly at the occupant's efforts thus far. She had come to see the rapid development for herself, the change in energy patterns detectable even from her far-off shack. A large portion of farmland had been cleared, and a number of crops were planted and approaching maturity. Of greater interest were the renewed wards as well as a host of other magical enhancements. It didn't take her long to determine their function, her vision tuned to the magical warp and weft of the valley. She followed the leylines in their delicate patterns throughout the farm, noting the patterns of restriction and redirection. The work was... unrefined, but otherwise effective. The enchantments on the nearby silo were even more so, the new construction serving as a magical storage tank with a fair amount of energy already present.

Nearby, her sensitive hearing detected the gentle sounds of the farm's occupant in a deep slumber. The robed figure smiled, it saved her the effort of reinforcing that sleep to remain uninterrupted. She walked towards the cabin, her broom following dutifully behind, and made soft kissing noises. This attracted the attention of Luna, the farm's calico cat, and she leapt up onto the porch railing to greet the visitor.

"Good evening!" she said quietly, reaching out to pet the cat endearingly.

"Hello, mistress!" Luna greeted her, purring in response to the physical affection. "I was wondering when you would come visit!"