A Match Pt. 01

(all characters are 18+)

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Everybody told me that moving away to college and keeping my high school boyfriend was a bad idea. "Those relationships don't last," "You're setting yourself up to get hurt," all the tired clichés. And of course, they were right. I had been moved into my dorm for about two weeks before I got the dreaded break-up text from my now ex-boyfriend. I'd been feeling us grow distant, so it wasn't a total surprise, but it still hurt really bad.

Luckily, I was able to go to my classes and get work done, it was an actually an effective way to distract myself. But other than that? I just sort of laid around my room, as I was always feeling depressed.

My roommate was a junior named Shauna, and she was happy to talk to me about my issues, and we ended up getting along great. Unfortunately for me, Shauna had a boyfriend off campus, and spent many of her nights there. I loved having a room to myself, but I didn't take advantage of it much.

I also tried to avoid social media, as my ex did not take much time to move on from our breakup. I didn't check Instagram or anywhere else, in case I'd see a photo of him with some girl from his college. I wanted to move on and sleep around like he was doing, but the whole experience had left me so...tired.

Before I moved out, Josh was insistent that we'd stay together, that we were different from other couples who couldn't do long distance at separate colleges. And for some reason, I believed him. Maybe because it was my first real "serious" relationship and I hopelessly wanted it to last? Maybe because he was the first guy I had actual good sex with? Whatever it was, I naively went along, until that text in early September.

**

Now it was late October, and I had yet to climb out of this hole. Shauna suggested that I talk to someone, but I figured one of the campus psychologists would laugh at me for such a trivial problem. I had my own idea, and went to talk to our RA, Carla.

Carla was a junior, and she was just effortlessly cool. Always wore cool clothes, she had her nose and eyebrow pierced, and a shaved head. I was jealous of her confidence, but figured it would come to me as I grew.

I knocked on her door one day, the music inside being turned off as she opened the door.

"Mari! Oh my god, come in, come in!" My real name was Marielle, but most people called me Mari. I stepped into Carla's room, adorned with posters, scattered campus merch, books and papers everywhere, it was fully cluttered but somehow fit her.

Carla hopped up on the edge of her bed, "What's up? Everything alright?"

I sat at her desk and sighed, "Well...no, not really." I proceeded to explain everything to her, and I was already feeling better because I genuinely felt listened to. Carla was attentive, empathetic, and exactly the ear I needed to turn to at this moment.

"Hmm...well, as you said, you're not the first person to ever have this issue. But I can tell, you're really going through it right now." Carla said. I nodded sadly in response, folding my arms and leaning on the back of her chair.

"I just don't know what to do." I said. I even started to feel bad that I was bringing Carla down, though I was sure people came to her with their personal problems all the time. I sat up slightly, getting ready to leave and thank Carla for the advice, until she pressed her fingers to her head.

"Wait. Wait, wait hold on..." she said, clearly thinking hard about something.

"Who's the boy...he lives in 209, kind of tall?"

"James I think?" I said. I wasn't sure exactly who she was talking about, or why she was even asking.

She snapped her fingers, "Yes, Jamie, that's him, curly brown hair. Weirdest thing: he came to me two weeks ago with the exact same story and complaint."

"Really?" I asked, curiously.

Carla nodded, "Yup, girlfriend said 'let's stay together', dumps him immediately, he's super depressed. Have you talked to him?"

"Uh," I said, trying to recall, "maybe once at the first hall meeting?"

"You two should meet! A common situation like that, it would probably help the both of you. Did you want me to text him and tell him?"

"Oh, uh..." I thought about it, I didn't know him that well, but he seemed nice. And if Carla vouched for him, I might as well. "Sure, set it up." I said with a small laugh. Carla seemed overjoyed, "Okay, okay, I'll text him later."

I stood up, thanking Carla for her time and advice, and went back to my room. Shauna was still gone, likely at her afternoon classes. I sat on my bed, trying to think if this would actually help, but before I could put much thought into it, Carla had texted me.

"Hey Mari!" she wrote, "I just talked to Jamie and he said he'd be free to talk now if you are. Should I tell him to come up to your room?"

James lived in 209, I was in 301, upstairs and on the opposite side of the hall. I quickly hopped off my bed and went to my mirror, fixing my hair. I had long, wavy blonde hair that I almost always had tied up in a ponytail or messy bun. I tied it back while I checked the rest of myself out.

I had always felt very confident in my body, not confident enough to wear a lot of tight clothing or anything, but I'd gotten to a place where I was happy with it. My breasts, a source of insecurity for a long time, had grown into a 34C, which I was more than thrilled with. I turned around in the mirror, I felt my ass was one part of me that was lacking, though I'd gotten plenty of compliments on it.

I was wearing a black Ramones t-shirt, and a pair of pink sweatpants. I was dressed like I'd just rolled out of bed, but I kind of did, so it was accurate. I sighed and texted Carla back, then sat at my desk and waited for James to show up.

I heard a knock and hopped up, walking over and opening the door. James was taller than me, I was 5'4 and he was close to six feet tall. He smiled softly, before I said, "James, right?"

"Yeah, but most people call me Jamie. And you're Marielle?"

"But most people call me Mari." We both laughed at this exchange, and I invited him inside.

Our conversation was...uneventful. So uneventful that it would be pointless for me to explain it beat by beat, as there were many long, awkward pauses. However, it wasn't all awkwardness, as we found we had a few things in common (other than being unceremoniously dumped), namely, a fairly similar music taste, and we were both psychology minors (my major was Business Administration, his was Sociology). We talked briefly about our breakups, clearly a sore subject for both of us.

We spoke for about thirty minutes, then parted ways as he had to get to class. I felt a little better, just knowing there was someone else feeling the same pain that I was. I wasn't sure if either of us would really be interested in talking again, but it was a decent way to spend the afternoon.

**

The next day, I ran into Carla outside our building. She was coming back from the gym, and I was headed to class. She pulled me aside to talk, looking very excited.

"So? How'd it go?" She said with a big smile. I returned it with a small smile.

"Uh, it went well I think. We listen to the same music, and we had a pretty nice conversation. I'm glad you recommended that we talk, it helped me feel better." I said, with a slightly wider smile now. However, Carla's smile had faded, replaced with a look of confusion, eventually tossing her hands in exasperation.

"Wait, wait, you guys didn't fuck?"

I froze, "What? No, we, what? I thought the idea was that we'd just talk?"

"Well, yeah, that's what I said, but you guys are freshmen, both out of relationships, the two of you must be pent up like crazy, I just figured that's how it would have gone." She said, laughing.

"Oh...uh, well, no, it didn't." I said. Jamie was good looking, but the thought didn't cross my mind, at least not then.

"Well...hey, look, if you got something out of it, who am I to judge, right?" Carla said, laughing. "I need to grab a shower, but let me know if you need to talk again!" she said, bounding up the stairs.

I walked to class, thinking about what Carla said. I didn't think there was any sexual tension at all, at least on my part. And she was right, I was pent up, but I rarely had the energy to do anything about it. I was usually alone in my room, but I had probably only masturbated three or four times since moving in.

As I was walking, I got a text from Jamie. "Hey," he wrote, "I wanted to share that playlist I mentioned yesterday with you, can I come by and get your Spotify username?"

I replied, "Hey, definitely! I get out of class at 5, so just come by around then!" I put my phone away and continued to class, chuckling to myself that Carla thought she was setting us up for a tryst.

~~

Class ended early, and I got back just before 5. I was sitting at my desk, half falling asleep, half trying to do work, when I heard a knock on my door. I walked over to get it, Jamie smiling as I opened it. "Hey," he said, stepping inside.

I took out my phone and gave him my Spotify username, and he sent over a playlist. "There's a band on there called Marietta who are awesome," he said, "kind of like American Football, but not really," he said, laughing again. I sat back at my desk, Jamie pulling a chair from Shauna's desk and sitting across from me. He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and I was as well.

I smiled at him, "I have to tell him," I thought. I figured he'd find it as funny as I did.

"Hey, so, remember Carla was the one who said we should talk?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's so nice." Jamie said.

"Right," I replied, already laughing a little. "Well, when she suggested we talk, she thought we were gonna..."

Jamie laughed with me, looking at me confused, "Thought we were gonna what?"

I stopped laughing just long enough to tell him, "She thought we were gonna have sex."

Jamie looked at me stunned. "What? That's...what the fuck?" he said, the two of us laughing.

"Yeah, I think because she thought we were both, like, heartbroken or whatever that it might happen." I said, wiping a tear from my eye.

"That's too fucking funny." Jamie said. "I guess it makes sense that she'd think that though. And it's true, I haven't gotten laid since like...before move in."

I nodded, "Yeah, me neither." This was a sensitive bit of information that we'd both casually shared, and where there was no tension before, I suddenly felt it.

There was a bit of silence, Jamie making a thinking face before shaking his head, "Well..." he said, trailing off.

"Well what?" I said.

"I mean, we could, I guess." He said, looking at me, "I-I mean, not right now, that's not what I meant, but like, maybe? Not now though, just, yeah." Jamie said, stumbling over his words. I nodded, sensing he wasn't done speaking.

He sighed, "I mean...we'd have to talk about it first, right? Like, have a whole conversation and stuff."

This caught me off guard. Movies and the internet had prepared me for college guys to be ready to go without thinking at any given moment. So to hear this kind of consideration was...assuring.

"Is that alright?" he said, caught in my own thoughts as I formed a reply.

"No, yeah, that makes sense, just...a conversation about what?"

"Oh, I mean about like, likes and dislikes, what's comfortable, that sort of stuff I guess. Sex is kind of shitty if you don't find that stuff out beforehand."

Jamie was nervous as he spoke, as I continued to look at him with shock. My own boyfriends had never been this considerate of...well, anything, so to hear it from Jamie was comforting to say the least.

"Okay," I said, "When should we have this conversation?"

"Uh..." he thought, "Are you doing anything Saturday?" Jamie asked.

I thought for a second, "No, I don't think so."

He smiled, "Okay, okay cool, yeah, we'll hang out then and talk and stuff."

I smiled back, as I thought that this must be one of the most unlikely conversations two college freshmen had ever had with each other.

"I should...probably get back to my work, but I'll text you." He said, before standing up and hurrying out of the room.

I sat back in my chair. I contemplated telling Shauna, but I figured it was best to wait. I had never had a conversation like the one he was describing, so I anticipated Saturday with apprehension, but curiosity.

**

We agreed to meet in my room, as Shauna had gone home for the weekend. I let him inside as we took our seats again, though Jamie had noticeably moved his chair further from mine this time.

We started chatting idly, before eventually getting to what we came here to talk about.

Jamie sighed and sat back, "Okay, so, question 1: is this something that would interest you? It's okay if it doesn't."

"Is what something that would interest me?" I asked.

"Oh, sorry, I meant like, the sex, with me." He said with a nervous laugh. I could tell he felt embarrassed when he tripped over his words like that, but I actually found it endearing.

"I mean...yeah," I said, trying to look in his direction but finding it difficult. "Uh, I'd ask you the same question."

"Oh, well, yeah, I'd definitely be interested." He said, smiling.

"Well, I'm glad we established that." I said, trying to joke to lighten the mood. It worked, as I noticed Jamie relax his shoulders.

"Okay, uh...what else..." Jamie tried to think, when I decided to chime in.

"Well, I'll ask: is there anything specific you like to do...during?" I was surprised at how awkward I suddenly was, though I tried to push past it.

"Hm...nothing super specific comes to mind, what about for you?"

"Well..." I paused for a minute, if we were gonna actually do this, and actually have this conversation, we'd have to start being a bit more forward and honest with each other.

"I like having my hair pulled." I said with a small smile. Jamie smiled back.

"Oh, nice, me too!" He said, holding his hand out for a fist bump. I bumped it, the two of us laughing. His hair didn't quite reach his shoulders, but it was long enough to be pulled.

"Was there," I said, pausing, "Anything you liked to do with your ex?"

He froze momentarily. "Oh...hmm, not really to be honest. She just kind of liked to...lay there." Jamie said, lost in his own thoughts now. "Uh, what about you?"

I made a face, sighing. "Not really either...to be honest. We'd have good sex sometimes but usually it was a...short experience."

Jamie nodded solemnly, "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, as though I had just told him a relative passed away.

The awkward pauses had returned, but I was determined to move past them. "What about positions?"

Jamie sat up slightly, "Oh, I'm good with any of them, they're all fun to me," he said, laughing.

"Oh c'mon, you have to have a favorite." I said with a smile.

"Well, I've actually never done it, but I've always wanted to try when the girl's on top." He said, looking away slightly.

"Cowgirl?" I said, smiling. "That's a good one. It's probably my favorite."

"Yeah?" He said, smiling wider. He nodded, "Oh, uh, what about dislikes?"

I answered quickly, knowing this one. "...butt stuff." I said, which made us both laugh. "Just...no, no." I said, laughing again.

"Fair, fair, I don't like it either. Honestly, I hate feet. I don't know why people are so obsessed with them."

"Thank you!" I said, laughing. "I've always felt that way, I just don't get it. Like...of all of the parts of me, you wanna lick my feet? Ew, no, god." I said, still laughing with Jamie. This had gotten much less awkward, the two of us both relaxing.

"Okay, I got one," I said, sitting up, "What about head?"

Jamie made a face back at me, looking away briefly. "This might come as a surprise...I'm honestly not a fan."

"Really?" I asked, curiously. "I feel like most guys--"

Jamie cut me off, "I know, I know, I've heard it forever, I just...I don't know, I've never really enjoyed it."

"Hm. You're the first guy I've ever heard say that."

"Yeah, I hear that a lot," Jamie said, laughing. "I love giving head though, that I could do for hours, but getting head, it's just...it doesn't do it for me. I get way more...turned on giving it than receiving it."

I felt a small lump in my throat as I was hesitant to share this next bit of information. I tried to do so as casually as I could, "That makes sense. I've actually...never gotten head before."

Jamie nodded, "A lot of people don't like it, I get it honestly."

I laughed, "No, it's not that, it just...hasn't happened yet."

His expression changed, "Oh...oh, gotcha, okay."

There was a pause, before I asked, unable to resist, "Did you say...hours?"

He laughed, "Yeah, sometimes. I guess I have a lot of...tongue stamina." We looked at each other, bursting out laughing again.

Jamie cleared his throat, "You said you like your hair pulled, but anything else like that?"

"Hmm..." I thought for a moment. Josh had never remotely considered any of these things, so I had to take an extra second to think.

"Well...I guess just like, feeling hands, if that makes sense. Like having the other person put their hands all over me while we're having sex." Jamie nodded, listening intently as I continued.

"I don't love being spanked, but an occasional one works. Also, if someone reaches down and touches my clit while we're fucking, it really--" I stopped, blushing as I realized I was going on a bit. Jamie's facial expression hadn't changed, still nodding and listening intently.

"That all makes sense," he said. "Hey Mari..."

"Yeah?" I replied, sitting forward.

"You didn't want to try...now, did you?" Jamie asked, looking at me. I paused, thinking of a response before he continued.

"Because, like, me personally, I didn't, not this second at least. Just because I figured we'd have this conversation and then..." he stopped as he tried to think. Jamie continued, "...honestly I wasn't sure what after this," he said, with a small laugh.

I nodded, "Yeah, yeah I agree. I think this was a good conversation though, right?"

Jamie enthusiastically nodded, "Yeah, yeah definitely, we really...talked about stuff." He looked at his phone, "Oh, my mom's calling. I'll text you soon and we'll talk more, is that cool?"

I nodded, "Yeah, yeah, definitely cool."

Jamie smiled, "Great," he stood up, offering me another fist bump, which I accepted. He left the room as I stayed seated at my desk.

The second the door closed, I felt a throbbing in my shorts so hard it was practically painful. Carla was right, I was really, really pent up. I had half a mind to chase him down the hall and jump him right there, but I decided to try and calm down first.

I opened my drawer and took out my headphones. I put them on, my eyes lingering on my small bullet vibrator that I kept in the drawer. I closed it quickly, sighing as I tried to focus on classwork. It was surprisingly effective, as I looked up from my laptop, and the sun was already setting.

~~

I ate dinner and watched Netflix as I usually did when I had the room to myself. Time passed, I tried not to think about it but I was impressed with how under control I had managed to keep myself.

I checked my phone and it was already 11pm. I had a tendency to stay up late a lot, but I kind of just felt like laying down. I went to my dresser and changed into pajamas, a school t-shirt that I had effectively cut into a crop top, and a pair of small black shorts. I looked at myself in the mirror, slowly running my hands over my body. I moved from side to side, the light glinting off of my bellybutton piercing.

I turned out my lights and got into bed, sighing as I lay flat on my back. With nothing but my thoughts, I could feel that feeling building inside me again. I picked up my phone, scrolling through it as I tried to distract myself. Eventually, I put it down in frustration, placing my hands behind my head.