A Mistake Too Far, Retribution

It was hard to pick a category for this, but as its a follow up to my original story published in the LW section, i thought it may as well go in the same section. There is violence and no sex, come to that, not much loving in this but the story needed an end. Be warned.

Five years had passed since my divorce.

"Barry, don't forget to pick up John from nursery at 11.30 today will you." April called from the kitchen.

"Ok love no worries, I'm on it. I'll get him on the way back from the store."

John, my step-son is four years old now. I had known him since the day he was born and it was hard to believe he would be starting proper school within two weeks. Myself and April had been married nearly three years and had no children together, but we planned on having at least one before John got too old so they would be of a similar age and I myself had gotten too old. We had been trying now for 18 months with no success but she was desperate to give John a brother or sister.

April had mended my broken heart and put me back onto the right track. I was going downhill rapidly and my life was spiraling out of control. I would've ended up in nick, or worse. I was drinking heavily and bar fights were becoming common place. The year after my breakup was the worst of my life. I spent all of my waking time looking for the man that killed my love for my wife. He had groomed her for months culminating in her taking part in a gangbang with him and his friends. She had come to believe I was having an affair and in her warped brain this was her way of leveling the score. Amber had since attempted suicide twice and was living with my daughter now. I hate what she did and with she had succeeded with her attempt to take her life. I gave up my search for him, in a way it was probably best that I didn't find him at that time.

April is the younger sister of my closest friend Sammy, we have known each other since we were kids. I had always been attracted to her and she is as gorgeous now as she had been in her teens. But Sammy was my friend and well, you don't make moves on friends sisters do you.

That was until about six months after my split with Amber, I bumped into her at IKEA. I was buying some cheap flat-pack furniture for my place. I had moved out of our home and a small flat was all I could afford. She bumped into the back of my legs with a pushchair, I was about to have a go when I saw it was April and my grimace turned into a smile.

"Hi stranger," she said with a broad grin. "I thought that was you."

She brightened my entire day and her old familiar smile made the dark clouds lift. We ended up in a small coffee shop near the university reminiscing on our childhood and lives since. She had married young and had a small child but had since split with the dad. Apparently he had been having a number of affairs with various women from the day they had met until the day she threw him out, he sounded like a real scumbag.

It turned into one of the nicest days I could remember in ages, we exchanged numbers and I gave her a peck on the cheek as we said our goodbyes.

I spent the whole weekend thinking about her and how my life would've been so different if I had married her instead of Amber, but she was a dozen or so years my junior and probably barely sixteen when I had wed Amber. I must have looked at her number in my phone over a dozen times that weekend wanting to ring it but not having the courage. It took over a month before we talked again.

"Hi Barry, I had hoped you might ring me."

It was April, I nearly dropped the phone and my cold turkey sandwich. I felt my tongue tie in my mouth and all the moisture dry up as I tried to talk back.

"Barry, are you there?"

"Yes, yes. I just dropped something." I lied, trying to gain my composure.

"April, what a nice surprise to hear from you." I managed to say as calmly as I could.

"Well," she said, "I am in Canterbury this week on family business and as you said you moved into a small flat there I thought we might meet up, if you want to that is?"

Did I want to? of course I did.

"What?.... oh erm," I stuttered.

She had caught me by surprise with her directness. What was I saying? Of all the stupid things to say, erm! I was free all week and what I should've said was, "Yes, I'd love to."

"You don't sound too sure." She hesitated before adding, "I am sorry I should not have been so presumptuous."

"Wait, wait." I said, but the line had gone dead.

I fumbled with my phone and redialed her number, it just rang and rang. "Fuck it, you stupid fucking mug," I cursed to myself. I tried one more time but to no avail, cursing to myself again I went back to my not very appetizing half eaten sandwich.

Later that afternoon as I was sitting watching my third horse lose on the trot on the tv my phone lit up again.

"Hi Steve, what can I do for you mate?" it was my brother.

"A few of us are playing golf this coming Sunday. We are one down, wanna make up a foursome?" he said.

I guessed it was all bollocks, it was his way of trying to get me out of the flat and into more of a social setting. I had not moved from here since I moved in, I just didn't have the drive to get dressed and go out these days.

I declined his offer and we chatted about this and that for a few minutes before I told him that April Chalmers had rang this morning.

"And.....?" he questioned.

"And nothing," I told him I fucked up.

"Ring her you mug, for fuck sake Baz what's up with you?"

"I know, I know. I did try but she won't pick up." I protested.

"Do it now, I'll get off the line."

Steve hung up and I sat looking at my phone again questioning why on earth I shouldn't ring her? I came up with so many excuses not to ring but to be honest, none were valid.

I tapped her number, it rang three times. I almost bottled it and hung up when the fourth ring was absent. The phone was silent,

"April, are you there?" the line stayed silent.

"April?"

I almost hung up when I heard a soft "Yes."

I sighed, "April, I am sorry for earlier. I would love to see you."

My voice came back with a boldness that surprised even me, and I must've rambled on for ages talking all sorts of shit, anything that came to my mind, I said it. She must have thought I was bloody insane but agreed to meet me at my place the following Tuesday. We hit it off, she spent the first night at her mum and dads and the next night at mine. That was over three years ago.

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The town was crazy this week, it was packed because of freshers week, kids and students everywhere! No-matter where you turned it was manic. Every shop, supermarket, even the small cobbled streets were full of pain in the ass teenagers who thought they ruled the world. I was glad to get our groceries and get back home.

I had time today to pick Johnny up from nursery, he put me in a much better mood the moment I saw him as he came running into my open arms at the classroom door. One of the teachers handed me a picture he had drawn, it was him, his mum with myself in our garden. It filled me with pride, I had never in a million years thought my life would turn out this way, I was as happy as I had ever been in my life.

That night when he was tucked up in bed we sorted through all his new stuff for school. The first week he would only be doing half days so he would eat at home, but we had bought the obligatory dinosaur picture lunchbox with matching drink bottle, the dino pencil box with sharpener and his uniform. We were all set and he was so excited to be going to the big school. We were far more nervous than him it seemed.

The big day came and April took him in, we were expecting tears but she said he ran into class to meet his new teacher and classmates with hardly a glance back. She came home in floods of tears. I put my work aside to comfort and console her. I am lucky enough to spend 3-4 days a week working from home now as the job I have since leaving my last employer can be done remotely, only having to make the trip into the office once a week. It took a few strong coffees and cuddles to calm her and we settled with her head snuggled into my neck on the sofa.

"Sorry love," she said between sniffles. "I know I am being stupid. He'll be back in a few hours, I just miss him so much already, he is growing up too fast."

I held her close, snuggling her to my chest kissing the top of her perfect head. At that moment my life was perfect too.

That first week of school carried on in much the same way, she would drop him off and come home upset. It got a little better as the week went on, but not much. On Friday I had the pleasure of picking him up from school, I loved the feeling of walking through those big school gates to pick up my boy. The other parents were gathered outside in the playground waiting for their children to come out with the teacher. I struck up conversations with a couple of mums who knew who I was, others looked at me quizzically because I was by far the oldest of the group. There are about 25 children in Johns class, most of the waiting throng were mums but there were a couple of dads sticking out like sore thumbs. One of these dads looked very familiar but I couldn't place him. I thought he must be one of the dads from Johns old nursery school.

As the kids came out John was with his friend Harry, they were laughing and joking around when the dad I thought I knew called to him. Harry said bye and ran to the man as John rushed to me very happy to see me standing there instead of his mum. I nodded to Harry's dad and the blood visibly drained from his face. He looked like he had seen a ghost, he quickly took Harry into his arms and briskly walked across the playground almost running out of the gates. Strange fella I thought to myself.

At home we got talking about Johns day at school.

"Well, did you enjoy the pickup? Was it all you hoped it would be?"

"I loved it, I wish I could get him every day. You mums do not realise just how lucky you are sometimes."

"Oh I do, I adore picking him up. It's the dropping off in the morning I hate. Some of the other mums feel exactly like me and a few of us were talking about having a coffee morning twice a week, maybe at each of our houses in turn, we won't get in your way......I hope you don't mind." She added.

"Of course not, they can come here as much as you want, I'll tuck myself away in my office. Are dads welcome too?" I enquired as a throw away comment.

"There are not many there, Harry's dad is ok. He is the only one that has spoken to me so far." She said.

"Really? he couldn't get away from the place quick enough earlier." I replied.

"That doesn't sound like Bob, he is usually quite the chatty type."

"Oh, Bob now is it?" I said, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"Oh behave." She said, playfully punching my arm.

We laughed and carried on preparing lunch together.

Usually the only day I could make it to pick-up was on a Friday. Every Friday since I saw the fella, his wife was now on pick-up duty. I guessed it must be because they were doing longer days now and he couldn't make it. They seemed an odd couple, while he was near my age or maybe a few years younger, she was barely twenty-two. Lucky sod I thought to myself. I mentioned it to April to which she said,

"Oh, they are not married but like us his first marriage didn't work out either, I heard she left him."

"I look on it this way," I said. "My first was my practice attempt, I have found the real thing now." I smiled taking her into my arms for a kiss.

The following Tuesday April had a dentist appointment so I had the pleasure of a mid-week pick-up. Waiting with the other parents I saw Harry's dad again, he was fidgety and I am sure he was trying to hide behind the large red haired woman he was talking to. I know I caught his eye but he turned away from me showing me his back. Just then the kids came rushing out and Johnny came bounding up to me dragging Harry by the hand, and could he come to ours to play for the afternoon.

"Well, I don't mind but shouldn't we ask his dad first?"

I looked up to see Harry's dad still busily talking with the red haired lady. I took the boys by the hands and walked over to them intending to ask if it was ok with him. The man again looked distraught and stumbled back a little at our approach.

I stopped dead in my tracks holding both boys at my sides. I felt the world stop, everything went silent. All the kids were running around the playground but I heard nothing.

"Dad! Dad! Stop, you are hurting me!"

I looked down, John was trying desperately to free his hand from my tight grasp. All the parents were looking in our direction now hearing the commotion both boys were making. I let both boys hands go immediately and Harry ran to his father while John held onto my leg crying. I had gripped the boys hands so tightly that I had unintentionally hurt them both.

I stood there routed to the spot, frozen in a time bubble unable to move a muscle. The realisation coming to me like a sledgehammer to the side of my head.

Bob was Bob, THE fucking Bob. The fucking asshole Bob that had destroyed my life. I felt sick, nauseous, my head began to spin.

I saw Bob running across the playground dragging his son by the coat sleeve. I found a small bench to sit on while I gathered my thoughts, one of the other parents came over asking if we were ok. What they were saying was barely registering and I blankly looked up to see John's teacher holding her arms out to take John from me.

The next thing I knew was April sitting next to me rubbing my leg with Johnny on her lap. The school had called her worried, I must have been sitting on the bench for 10 -15 minutes in a daze.

"What happened, are you ok love. What's wrong?" she whispered concerned and looking scared.

"You are shaking, seriously, what the fuck is wrong Barry. You are scaring me!"

I glanced at her, she looked terrified, young Johnny had the same look and was crying. The school headmaster came over and asked if we were ok and would we like to take this inside to a more private place. It became obvious to me that I was making a bit of a scene and was everyone's center of attention.

"No, no its fine." I stammered. "April, let's just go home."

"Barry, what is it?"

"Let's go home, I need to get out of here. Please, I'll tell you at home."

Over the next hour and many cups of hot, strong coffee's I explained who Bob was. She found it hard to understand why it had hit me as hard as it had. To her, that was in a previous life and long, long in the past. To me, the past had just become part of my immediate present.

I tossed and turned all night unable to sleep a wink, all my rage at him was starting to bubble to the surface again. Although it had been five years, the raw emotions had come back so suddenly with a vengeance. I was happier now than at anytime in my life yet my anger at this man was dragging me back to a dark, dark place. I sat alone in my lounge with a half empty bottle of brandy, it was full not two hours ago and I was intent on emptying it.

April had dropped Johnny to school and was sitting on the sofa next to me rubbing my sore temples, I awoke slowly to the sensation of her soft hand stroking my hair.

"Oh my head."

An empty brandy bottle was standing alone on the coffee table.

"Yours?" she said pointing at it.

I numbly nodded my pounding head to the affirmative.

"You need food, I'll make us something. Stay here and I'll rustle something up."

With that she stood and made her way to the kitchen, I felt sick, the room was spinning. I tried to make it to the downstairs toilet but my stomach emptied along the way. I caught most of it in my dressing gown but I left a trail of destruction behind me. April came running from the kitchen to help me and I spent the next thirty minutes with my head in the toilet bowl. My head felt clearer after an hour and we spent the morning talking of my past. She had known most of what had happened as it had been the top topic of gossip of our local community at the time. But I had not told her of the hatred I felt for Bob and his cohorts and how I had tried to track them down.

"You tried to find them?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"I found two of them, I hurt them but not enough to cause permanent damage, but enough for them to know I was seriously pissed."

"And what about Bob?" she quizzed.

"Can we give it a rest for a bit." I said holding my head, "My head is pounding." I felt bad for lying but I could do without the Spanish Inquisition right now.

April took a glance at the clock,

"Saved by the bell." She said, "I need to go and get John, will you be ok for half hour?"

"No worries love, I'll go get some shuteye upstairs for a bit if you don't mind."

The second I heard the door shut I phoned my brother.

"Steve, I've found him."

"Eh!"

"Bob, I've got him." I said.

"Bob?"

"Bob! Fucking ass-wipe, Bob fucking Barnes!"

The line went silent.

"Barry, are you sure?"

"Yes."

"What are you going to do mate? You are settled now, you have a new life, a new wife and kid."

I had no idea what I wanted to do, all I knew was I hated him. if I had found him five years ago it was likely I'd be inside now serving a life sentence.

"So, what do you want to do?" Steve asked.

"Can we meet up tomorrow, I need to try and smooth things over with April today. I'll tell her I have to go into the office and meet you in town, I'll ring you with the details later ok?"

"Ok Baz, but all this has to stay in the past. You have a family now, see you tomorrow."

I spent the rest of the day and evening trying to put my wife at her ease by playing down the situation. I had hoped I had hidden how angry and unsettled I was but I was sure she didn't totally believe I was over what had happened in my first marriage.

I spent another very disturbing night going over and over in my mind what I wanted to do to him, each act of vengeance getting more and more destructive and extreme. It was a fitful night in and out of sleep, in one dream I had him tied to a bench taking a finger at a time with rusty garden shears.

My alarm woke me from another such dream with a start, I was in a cold sweat and shaking with rage again. I had to shake this from my psyche before April woke up, it would not do for her to see me like this.

I left for the office before she took Johnny to school, giving them both a kiss. Instead of work I had arranged to meet my brother at our local snooker hall. We had a breakfast and a couple of frames of snooker as we talked over what happened and what were my intentions. Steve was against any action because of my settled life now but understood my need to take revenge.

The question he put to me was, was I happy to maybe lose what I had in my life now. My wife, my child, my happiness, to quench my thirst for vengeance for something in the past.

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I loved my life, I loved everything about my life now but I also wanted to hurt this man. I wanted to hurt him beyond basic pain, I wanted to ruin his life, if I was honest with myself I wanted to end his life.

Over the next few nights it was obvious to April that I had changed, she commented that if I loved her and Johnny I would forget all thoughts of revenge. She could not understand how I could even think of doing anything to Bob after so long and especially now.

"Are you happy Barry, do you still have love for Amber, are you happy with us?"

"Of course I am, how can you think that?"

"Then why risk what you, we have now. Johnny loves you, you are his daddy. Please don't do anything silly, promise me."