A Moment of Self-Longing

This is my first attempt at writing any kind of erotica. This is essentially a story of longing for myself as a pre-op trans woman. This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope that it brings you enjoyment!

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It is late at night and there were two clusters of pillar candles giving off a soft and gentle glow, the air slightly cool. "Perfect," I think to myself.

Deep red curtains cover the large bay window. complementing the pastel peach walls giving the room a warm and comforting feel. Dark red drapes arch along the walls where the walls met the ceiling and the oak wood flooring is stained dark with a light off-cream fluffy rug positioned at the bottom of the large bed. The bedding is a mixture of cool lilacs and blues, accented with warming pinks and rose colours.

I shivered slightly as I walk into the room as the anticipation that had been building through the day started to escape. Carefully closing the door behind me I close my eyes and take a slow steady breath in. "This is for me," I say in my head, "exactly how I like it."

All electronics had been silenced and placed in another room of the detached house, just me, my room and my bed.

I take a moment to admire my outfit, a loose black top with a deep plunge from overlapping fabric at the front and wide loose sleeves, accompanied by a pair of black high waisted professional flared trousers which hugged my rear. I feel my arousal rising and feel a slight warmth as my face flushes.

Approaching the bed, I run my hand up the smooth fabric around my outer thigh and let out a long slow breath of anticipation, "I so need this," I murmur softly. Taking my place in the middle of the bed I lean back against soft pillows at the head of the bed, my legs and bum resting on the soft duvet.

I slide my left hand slowly over the fabric covering my stomach and reached for my right breast. I'm not wearing a bra and feel my already hard nipple through the fabric of my top. Gently moving the palm of my hand over my nipple sends tiny jolts of electricity through my body. I let out another slow breath, more ragged. I feel the tingling sensation starting to build in my body. My eyes close and I connect more deeply with the sensation as my hand gently squeezes my right breast.

I feel the first small wave of slightly more intense tingles wash over my body and I let out another breath of contentment. "Fuck yes," I softly whisper to myself.

I feel my pussy tingling and asking for attention, "Not yet," I say to myself as I slightly open my eyes and enjoy the soft candlelight of the room.

Taking my left hand from my breast, I slowly slip it beneath the fabric that wraps around me. I inhale sharply as I feel a slight electric tingle as my fingers lightly touch my skin. I stroke my fingers up the side of my breast enjoying the smoothness of my skin and the sensation that my caress creates.

I keep stroking, slowly working my fingers up over the top of my breast before wrapping around the other side to fully cup my breast. I can feel my nipple hard against the palm of my hand. I squeeze my breast out of need before lifting my hand slightly pass my fingers lightly over my nipple. Each time my fingers move over my nipple, I feel a gentle pull and a deeper tingle in the core of me. My eyes flutter shut briefly and a soft moan escapes from my lips as I let out another ragged breath.

My breathing is deeper now, every breath out is ragged and full of intent. My body feels a constantly soft tingle running through it, every breath out seeming to elicit another gentle wave of these tingles through my body. My body momentarily spasms from the gradually building pleasure.

I move my right hand over my right thigh, stroking my thigh in small circles through the fabric of my trousers. I have such wonderfully long legs and I take a brief moment to take in how wonderful my legs look in these trousers. I watch my bare toes slightly curl as my anticipation continues to build. The need between my legs is growing and I feel the first hint of urgency starting to develop. The muscles at the bottom of my back contract, tightening my bum cheeks and lifting my pelvis ever so slightly.

I gradually increase the size of the circles my fingers are tracing on my thigh and apply a little more pressure. I am acutely focused on the sensation I feel as my fingers start to move closer to my inner thigh. My breathing becomes a little faster and I find my other hand squeeze my breast with more urgency. I close my eyes and let out a heavy breath as a larger wave of sensation wash over me. Squeezing my breast harder the hand stroking my thigh moves to caress and squeeze my inner thigh. I keep my eyes closed for a few seconds and savour the sensation washing over my body, every part of me reacting to the feeling.

I move my right hand slowly up my thigh and up the fabric of my trousers and under my top, my fingers searching for the point where the fabric gives way to skin. "Fuuuck," I breath out heavily as my fingers meet the skin of my stomach. I push my hand beneath my trousers, searching lower, feeling for the silky satin feel of my thong. Finding it, I push my hand further down towards the centre over the top of my thong.

I can feel the motion of my hand through the fabric of my thong. My breathing speeds up as the need within me becomes more urgent. I move my hand further down, my fingers following the contour of my mound and the sensation of my hand moving teasing me. I can't wait any longer, I press my hand firmly and urgently against my pussy, at the same time I use my other hand to pinch and pull gently but firmly on my nipple. I inhale sharply as the deep pleasure in my pussy clashes with the electric jolt caused by the slight pain I feel from pinching my nipple. I squeeze my eyes shut and take several short, raspy breaths as a strong tingling sensation takes my body, washing over me

"Fuck! Please." The words escape my mouth, as my brain begins to lose control to my more primal urges.

I release my nipple and cup and caress my breast. With the fingers of my other hand, I can feel a slight dampness on the thin fabric of my thong. A quiet growl escapes my mouth as my lips curl at the ends in anticipation of receiving something tasty. Pressing my fingers firmly against the fabric of my thong, I start to move them in a small circular motion. Intense tingles spread from the lips of my pussy as I feel the motion and pressure of my fingers, and I feel a deep sensation building towards the top of my slit where my clit rests in her hood. I feel the muscles in my body tensing up, the feeling taking on a different form now, urgent, deep, and very satisfying.

"Please," I whimper, "Please, I need it!"

I bring my fingers to the top of my knickers and slide them beneath. The sensation of my fingers touching the slight fuzz of my mound sends an electric jolt through my body.

"Please! Please, please, please!" I plead with myself.

I push my fingers lower, avoiding my clit for the moment, instead aiming straight for the wetness of my pussy. Using two fingers, I start at the bottom of my slit at the entrance of my pussy and pull my fingers up towards my clit through the wetness of myself.

"Please! I need it, I need to taste!" I beg, my breath short and full of desperation.

I take my fingers out from between my legs and bring them straight to my eagerly expectant mouth. I pull my fingers into my mouth, enjoying the sensation of my lips wrapping around my fingers, and urgently suck the juices off them. I wrap my tongue around my fingers trying to get as much of my taste as I can. A sweet and slightly salty taste washes over my tongue and a low moan escapes my mouth as I savour tasting my arousal on my fingers.

This pushes the urgent need in me into over drive. Nothing turns me on more than smothering my senses with myself. As I continue to taste, I pinch and pull firmly at my nipple and feel a sharp jolt of pain causing me to take a sharp gasp of breath from the sensation, forcing me to breath myself in, driving my arousal. The pain quickly blends with the pleasure I'm feeling and further pushes the urgency. My brain feels incredibly fuzzy now, and I know I can't hold off any longer.

I release my nipple and remove my fingers from my mouth. I move both of my hands down towards my groin and slip them both beneath the fabric of my trousers and knickers. My mind is now completely consumed only with satiating the urgent need within me.

"Do it!" I command myself between raspy expectant breaths. "Do it, give me what I need!"

Using my fingers beneath my knickers, I tease apart the lips of my pussy, the sensation of being spread merging and contributing to the urgent need within me. I take my index and middle finger of my right hand and rub them in my juices so they are nice and slippery. I then move them down towards the opening of my pussy, feeling the slickness of myself before gently but firmly pushing against my opening. I draw in a sharp breath and open my eyes wide as my fingers push inside me before closing my eyes once my fingers are buried within me. A strong groan escapes from my mouth and I give myself a few seconds to enjoy the intensity of the sensation.

With my left hand I rub my middle finger through my juices before parting the crease either side of my hooded clit with my ring and index fingers. I gently and softly flick my middle finger up over my hooded clit, relishing the jolt of pleasure this creates in my body. As I do, I feel a slight squeezing against the two fingers inside me. I firmly press my two fingers up, curling them slightly. I instantly find the soft part of my g-spot and the sensation of curling my fingers over it causes me to lift my back off my pillows from the intensity of the sensation. I fall back down with a guttural growl. My brain is no longer in control and I am driven by pure primal need. My breathing is short and sharp, my eyes are tightly closed, and whimpering and groaning with every ragged breath out.

"Fuck," I don't know if it's a command or an observation.

I circle my middle finger around my clit, each circle causing a strong jolt of pleasure that's contributing to something deep within me. I continue to curl my fingers inside me against my mushy nub of flesh, and each time I do I feel my muscles tighten. I can't stop myself anymore, I'm not in control, I have to keep going. Every sensation building, contributing and causing my muscles to spasm. As I circle my clit with my fingers, the hood of my clit starts to get pushed back.

The first time I stroke against my clit directly a strong jolt of pain mixed with pleasure surges through my body, stopping my breath.

I do this again and I can gasp this time from the jolt of pleasure pain.

Again, sound escapes with my gasp.

Again, the gasp is more urgent, more pleading, more begging, more demanding.

"Please, fuck, please, please, PLEASE!" I almost sob to myself.

I relent.

I firmly press my middle finger against my clit, rubbing back and forth. As I do, I push my fingers up into my g-spot and curl and rub them firmly against me. I can't stop myself taking in a huge breath of air, squeezing my eyes shut. The pleasure that has built up inside me takes over and crashes over me, consuming my body and mind. No breath escapes my lips as I keep my fingers pressed tightly into my g-spot and my middle finger firmly against my clit. The sensation is overwhelming and I can do nothing but endure the intense pleasure claiming me.

After the first large drawn out wave, I sharply and quickly release part of my breath before taking another sharp inhalation as the next wave crashes over me. The muscles in my body tense up and I lose myself in the sensation of intense pleasure as sparks and jolts fire in my brain. Wave after wave after wave, claim and consume me. Unable to think any longer, I lose count. I only know that I need to keep going. The brief moments where I can take a short breath, my breathing becomes sharper and shallower. No other sound escapes from my lips.

The intensity and duration of the waves starts to ease a little, and on my next breath a loud "FUCK!" comes from my mouth.

After two more soundless waves, I let out a slower and more guttural "Fuuuuck!"

The muscles in my legs and my stomach start to relax, releasing the tension built up in them. My body is awash with strong pleasurable tingles, and with a deeply satisfied groan I remove my fingers from within my pussy and on my clit. Pulling my hands out from under my trousers, I reach to find an opening in the duvet and push it down whilst slowly pulling my legs up in order to wriggle myself into the bedding. I eventually pull the duvet over myself and lay in bed fully clothed and eyes partially closed in the soft light of the room. I let out another long contented and ragged groan whilst enjoying the slight pressure from the duvet envelop me.

"Ohhh, fuck yes," I quietly murmur with a shaky breath, "I needed that."

I close my eyes, and slowly, my breathing becomes more measured and normal.

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Well, this was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it too!

Felicia xxx <3