A New Perspective Pt. 05

I'm finally getting back into the swing of writing things! I'm sorry it's been a bit between chapters here. I've been working a lot, and in doing so, I injured my wrist pretty bad. I'll be going into surgery for it here in the next couple months. I'm going to try and get the rest of this story cranked out before that, so get ready for a bunch of installments! Just a heads up, this is probably going to be a no sex chapter. I want to capture more of Faiths journey and struggles. So if you've come for a wank on this one, I'm sorry. As always, positive feedback is always welcomed!

*****

Well, today is the day! You know, I'd never thought I'd tell someone "Hey, it's time for my funeral! Wanna come, maybe have a few beers?" It was a weird feeling, really. I think everyone at the coven could sense my nervousness, too. They were all being a bit too nice to me, a bit too gentle. Even Cassandra, in her infinite toughness, kept asking me if I was okay over and over. I mean, come on! It's not like I'm some fragile thing walking around that cries at the smallest thing.

...ok, that was a lie, but also beside the point! I didn't want to be treated as such, you know? Maybe it was a bit of my ego left behind from the old days, where showing any sort of emotion was construed as a weakness. My dad had never showed much emotion towards me, and whenever I would cry as a kid, he would tell me to toughen up.

"You're a goddamn Callum!" He'd snap. "And Callums don't show weakness at all!"

The result was a teenager who was disgusted at even the slightest show of "weakness."

I know, it's small and petty, but at this point it was all that I had left.

So as I gathered my clothes and makeup, my thoughts drifted back a week or so to when things were normal. It's been less than a week since all of this started. A fucking week. I had it all. A beautiful girlfriend, a great car, and a fucking scholarship on the line. I was so excited for what my life had in store for me, and I was more than ready to take every opportunity that was to come. I was THE man of the school, the best of the best.

Now look at me, willingly wearing girls clothes and doing my own makeup. I had even let myself get fucked senselessly in a dressing room by my former best friend. Jesus christ, where was my life going?

I could feel it, now. The anger that threatened to surface at any thought of my old life. It had been coming up more and more lately, and this was probably the worst bout of them all.

I sneered at my own reflection in the mirror, my lips peeled back in disgust. "Look at yourself." I muttered to myself. "Bending it over and taking it like a good bitch, aren't you? I thought we were a Callum! Not some weak minded freak. We're not a girl, are we? Sure, we may have the tits and all, but that don't mean shit."

Growling softly, I closed my eyes and reigned in the anger that threatened to burst through like a tidal wave. 'I can't do this today.' I thought to myself. 'I have got to get this shit under control. If I really am a Callum, then it means that I adapt to whatever comes. Come on, Faith. Get your shit together."

Opening my eyes, I was pleased to see that most of the anger and fire had drained from my eyes. Seizing the opportunity, I quickly got my clothes and makeup on before it could come back and bitch slap me in the face.

After getting dressed, I took a moment to study my reflection in the mirror again. In it stood a small redheaded girl with a pretty face and sad eyes. She was dressed in a 3 piece black suit that seemed to accent her flowing curves and bust. I had gone for a mourning look in terms of my makeup, so her face was done up with smokey eyelids, light blush, and midnight black lipstick. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail that left her features open.

I thought I did a pretty good job for someone with almost no knowledge of color blending and clothing fashion! When I heard a whistle from behind me, I knew I did better than good. Turning, I saw Cass leaning against the door-jam, her eyes traveling up and down my body.

"You're looking absolutely delicious, Faith." She purred, her lips pulled up into a smirk. "Never knew my boyfriend would pull off such a sexy suit! Since when did you become so skilled in the arts of fashion and makeup?"

I felt myself blush under the makeup, and I quickly turned away. "I just thought it'd be a good skill to learn, that's all." I muttered. "Plus, I want to look good for my own funeral, don't I?"

"Sure." Cass agreed. "If by good you mean the center of attention as the hottest girl there, who just also happens to be the 'sister' of the...Faith, what's wrong?"

She must have seen something in my face, because she hurried over. "You look sad, sweetheart."

I shook my head, refusing to meet her gaze. "It's nothing." I whispered, not wanting to do this right now.

"Faith." Cassandras voice was soft now, and she gently lifted my chin to meet her gaze. "If there's anything you need to talk about, now is the time. You can't have that stuff on your mind at the service, lest it come out and show itself."

Sighing, I pulled my chin away and went over to my bed, sitting on the end.

"My anger is coming back." I said quietly, playing with the buttons on my suit. "When I looked at myself in the mirror a few minutes ago, I felt it surge up like a demon from hell. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it, and I even insulted myself. Asked myself why I was taking this so well, instead of fighting it. It almost felt like the Brent from my dream, except...it wasn't. It was all me. I'm terrified right now, Cass." I added, raising my eyes to meet hers. "I have no idea what's happening within me. And getting those ID's yesterday? It was like a nail in the coffin.

"It was like the final piece of this fucked up puzzle. I think it's setting in now that there isn't any way out of this. I'm stuck as a girl, as Faith, for the rest of my life. And it's so fucking hard, because a part of me wants that old life back. I want my scholarship and full ride to college. I don't want to be stuck in a witches coven, not being able to do anything without having someone shadowing me like some fucking chaperon. It's embarrassing, and I don't like it. But what am I to do? How am I supposed to handle this?

"I'm fucking lost, Cass. I'm lost and I am so, so scared right now."

It wasn't until I had run out of steam that I realized that I was crying, and I hastily wiped away the tears. Cassandra stayed quiet for a moment, studying me with her piercing eyes.

"I know it's hard right now, Faith." She said gently, crouching in front of me and taking one of my hands. "And I am sorry that you feel so lost and scared right now. It's not a fun combination, is it? But your path will show itself, and when it does, this will all seem like a bad dream.

"I'm not sorry I ripped your old life away." She said, a little more firm. "I know you loved it, but that life was destructive as hell. Not only to others, but to yourself. You had a lot of emotions pent up, and you would have eventually done something stupid and impulsive that would have gotten you and/or your friends killed. And that's not something that you want on your conscious for the rest of your life. We had to put an end to it, and in a way, we were trying to save you as well. You do know what the goal of going to your own funeral is, right?"

When I shook my head, she continued. "When we go there, I want you to look at the crowd. And I mean really look. Judge their reactions, what people are thinking. I want you to listen with both your ears and your mind. And I want you to look at it as if you really were Brents sister. Tell me if Brent was well liked, and if he wasn't, then why. Come see me afterwards, and we'll talk some more, okay?"

Without giving me time to answer or protest, she got up and walked out the door, leaving me speechless at the assignment.

"We leave in ten minutes, Faith!" She called from the hallway, and then she was gone.

Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK! She wanted me to see if I was well liked? Come on, I can barely handle the fact that I really hurt some girls in my life. How in the hell am I going to handle finding out that some people may like me?

Rubbing my hands over my face, I took a deep breath. I guess I'll take it as a challenge, then. I excel at challenges. Or that's what I tell myself, anyway.

Getting up, I slowly made my way out to the common area where everyone was waiting. Bella was among the small crowd, and I felt my heart trip a bit at the sight of her. She was wearing a backless black dress with a slit in one side, letting her long smooth leg peek out. Her hair was done up into a mass of beautiful curls, and she had done the same style of makeup as me, with smokey eyes and midnight black lipstick. She looked downright breathtaking, and just a little bit nervous.

"You alright, Bel?" I asked, giving her a light kiss on the lips. A bunch of the girls made "ooh" sounds at the show of affection, but I just ignored them. She gave a quick nod, the motion made jerky by her nervousness.

"This is going to be the first time seeing everyone from school like this." She said quietly. "I know they won't recognize either of us, but it's still making me antsy."

"I know the feeling. I'm in the same boat right now. I think we'll be fine, though!" I gave her my best reassuring smile, and I saw her relax a bit as I rubbed her arm.

After getting everyone piled into the luxury SUV Cassandra had rented, we took off for the funeral. I had expected silence of some sort on the way there, but the girls just chattered among themselves like normal. At a quick glance, we just looked like a car full of girls on our way to some spooky themed party or something, not a funeral.

I, for one, stayed to myself most of the way, my thoughts preoccupied with what I was supposed to say and who I was supposed to be. And how I was going to handle everything that was about to happen. Being separated from school this past week, from all the things my past life had, was one of the key reasons I had adapted fairly quickly to my situation. It was also a big reason the anger had reared its ugly head today.

The reality that I was attending my funeral didn't really smack me in the face until we pulled into the parking lot. Of course, that's when anxiety decided to tap me on the shoulder and say hi as well. Seeing the throngs of people, many whom I knew, made me think twice about getting out of the car.

"I don't know if I can do this." I said, turning to Bella. "I...what do I say? How do I act?"

She shrugged, a grin on her face. I knew she was enjoying my discomfort with this. Sadistic bitch. "You stick to what you know. Remember everything that you studied about your 'life'?"

I blew out a breath, thinking back over the note cards Cass had given me last night.

"My name is Faith Callum. I'm 19 years old, but I got held back a year due to an accident when I was younger. I'm from Mesa, Arizona, and I moved up here to support my father in this trying time. Brent and I weren't that close, but I'm still very sad to hear about his passing. I'm keeping my options open after school because I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. When people ask me why they haven't heard of me, I'll defer them to my father. He has a few lines he had to learn himself. When the service starts, I won't be required to give a speech, but I will need to drop something into the open grave of my choosing."

Bella clapped her hands like a teacher praising their student. "Look at you go, girl! You got it all down!"

"You might actually pull this off right, Faith." Violet chimed from the backseat. She was back into her roll as private security today, sidearms and knives included. Tara had surprised me by showing up in the same exact getup as Violet.

"After what had happened, I thought I'd learn how to defend myself." She had said when I asked why she was dressed the way she was. "Plus, I kind of want to see how you handle today. I know it's going to be hard, Faith." She added, putting a hand on my arm. "If you need to talk to anyone afterwards, we can go get a drink in my room and I'll listen to you, ok?"

I didn't know how to react to such simple kindness and understanding, so I just nodded as my face went beet red. Tara just giggled and patted my arm one more time before sitting back in her seat.

Cassandra was back in blonde mode, her role as the grieving girlfriend a priority. And me? Well, I'm just the sister of a dead guy who also happens to be me, so I'm there to grieve myself and offer condolences for...my...self? I don't fucking know.

It was an early Wednesday morning, with clear blue skies. It was supposed to be a hot one today, but the service was scheduled for early morning as to avoid the heat. While the outfit that I had picked out looked really good on me, I had forgotten that black absorbed heat easier than other colors. And I also found out, very quickly mind you, that my 118 pound frame didn't do well with the heat, so I was grateful that this would be done and overwith before 10.

"Okiedoke! Attention all used to be boys and girls!" Cass chirped. "It's showtime. Remember your roles, alright? Once this is all done and over, it'll be case closed and we can move on with our life. And Faith?" She turned in her seat to look at me. "Remember what I said earlier, okay? I know you can do this." I nodded to her, and she gave me a reassuring smile before opening her door.

As we got out of the car, I took a moment to observe the crowd that had gathered around the casket. I recognized most of the people there, and a pang of regret and loss hit me as I realized that I would never be able to talk to them again. I mean, yeah I could talk to them as Faith, but they don't know who I am. They don't even know that Brent has a 'sister' that flew up to support her dad in these rough times.

As my eyes swept over the scene, I heard a gruff voice call out my name. Turning, I saw my dad walking towards me, his massive frame eating up ground with long, powerful steps. My heart tripped a bit in my chest as he strode up to me. The last time we had talked, it hadn't been very pretty. To be honest, I had acted like the spoiled brat that I was, and he had quickly put me in my place. I wasn't quite sure how this encounter was going to go either, honestly.

But he surprised me by gathering me up in a gentle hug. "You look wonderful in that outfit, Faith." He murmured, pulling back and taking a good look at me. "And I'm proud of you for being able to do this."

"Do what? Pay respects to my 'dead brother'?" I asked, using air quotations. "It's not like I had much of a choice, dad. Although!" I continued before he could say anything. "I did pick out the outfit I'm wearing! Oh, and I did my own makeup!"

He big at that, and I felt a small part of me wiggle with delight at the fact that he was happy with me.

"If that's the case, then I'd say my new daughter has a good eye for fashion. Ah, Cassandra!" He said as Cass walked up. "It's good to see you, my dear!"

"I wish it were under different circumstances, but the same for you, Deak!" Cass said, giving him a quick hug.

"Tell me, how has Faith been doing?"

"Surprisingly well, although she had a rough bout the other night with some nightmares. Nothing the coven can't handle, of course. Other than that, she's been learning slow and steady!"

My father gave a grunt of approval. "That's good to hear. Very good to hear. And who is this young lady?" He asked as Bella walked up.

"Uh...Dad? I want you to meet Bella." I said, sweeping an arm towards my best friend. "She's one of the big reasons that I've stayed somewhat sane in all of this. The coven appointed her as my caretaker, so she's been with me every step of the way."

Bella went red under her chocolate skin, and gave a little curtsy. My dad just studied her for a minute, his eyes never staying in one place. I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to place the pieces.

"Faith, have you heard the latest on where Brady is?" He asked, never taking his eyes off Bella.

"Um...no, not really, no." I stammered, my eyes flicking to Cassandra. She just stood there with a smirk on her face. "I mean uh, I've been locked up in the coven, you know? Last I saw him was at the party, before all this happened."

He just nodded slowly, his gaze never changing. After a moment he stepped up to Bella and gently wrapped his arms around her. "You look absolutely stunning, Brady. Er...it's Bella now, right?"

Bella nodded into his chest as her body sagged with relief.

"That's a perfect name for you." My dad said, pulling back from her. "And you look just like your mother. I assume you're a lot happier like this?"

Bella nodded again, wiping a tear from her cheek. "It's something I've dreamed about since I was a kid. I just never felt like I could tell anyone, not without being called all sorts of names and being harassed."

Dad nodded solemnly, holding his arm out. "Well, I suppose it's appropriate, then, to ask if you would allow me to escort you in?"

Bellas smile was so big and pure that I felt my heart melt a little. "I would enjoy that, good sir!" She said, taking his arm. They took off towards the crowd, with Bella doing a small happy skip. Tara walked behind them in the bodyguard role, her hand never more than an inch from her thigh holster.

Cassandra stepped up next to me, with Violet right behind her. "You ready for this, Faith?" She asked, looking down at me. I took a deep breath and nodded, and we followed the other three into the crowd.

As we made our way towards the front, we were frequently stopped by people giving their condolences to Cassandra. She slipped into the grieving girlfriend fairly easily, with tears and all. When they asked who I was, she would introduce me as Brents sister, just like we rehearsed.

Almost each time they would ask me where I came from, why Brent had never mentioned me before, etc. My first couple times answering were a little nerve wracking, but as more people asked, it became easier and easier to slip into my own role as the grieving sister. Before long, I had slipped into the role with surprising ease, despite my earlier reservations.

I kept my eyes and ears open, though, and tried to do what Cassandra had told me. I studied the faces of those around me, listened to conversations. And the picture it was painting was not a pretty one.

"Didn't this Brent guy have some rape accusations?" I heard one guy say as we passed him. "If he raped someone, why are we all here to pay respects to him? We should throw his corpse into the nearest lake and celebrate."

"Probably because he's a rich boy." Someone else said, disgust in her voice. "You know how it goes with cocky morons like that."

As we moved past them, I felt my heart sink a bit. Is that really what people thought of me? If so, I kind of agree with them. I really fucked some peoples life up, probably more than I know. Fucking dump me into the nearest river and get on with it would be the best course of action.

As more and more of these conversations played out, the grim reality of who I used to be was starting to take shape in my mind. Daddy's boy, spoiled and not used to being told no. The world would be better off without one more entitled prick, right? As we made our way towards the front, a calculated plan started to formulate in my head. I knew exactly what to do, now.

Soft music playing over some speakers marked the start of the services, and our small group stepped up to the stage, taking our places. My dad went and stood next to the casket, while Bella and I stood next to him. Cass, true to her devastated girlfriend role, stood in front of my father, allowing him to comfort her. Violet and Tara stood to the rear them, dark sunglasses hiding their gazes.