- How To
- A Quick Burble About Dialogue
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Let's be frank. We write erotica.
I am well aware of the longer plotted stories, but for most of the stories, the dialogue stays fairly simple. That being said, 'He said, She said' can get frustrating and unsexy in shorter stories, and mind-numbingly tedious in the longer stories. Unlike an obnoxious character, or a single confusing line, dialogue rarely goes away. The way you present your dialogue can be the difference between a fun sexy story and a migraine-inducing nightmare.
And because I like to ramble, here; in no particular order, are some tips to help you achieve conversation Nirvana.
BREAK IT UP
Just like a 500 word paragraph can strain the eyes, too much dialogue in one chunk can strain a reader. Humans operate better if information comes in chunks. Most information in our society is designed to be read and processed in chunks. Social Security Numbers, telephone numbers, license plate numbers, bullet points, I could go on and on. And dialogue in your stories should be broken up more then the Hershey's bar I just found under my mattress.
Do not misunderstand me and think that I am telling you to make your sentences shorter. You don't need to have your characters grunt and point like cave(wo)men. But a few breaks can make it easier on the eye and brain. Here are two examples of the same woman speaking.
---
"I don't know Dan. I mean, I've liked you since we were kids, but aren't you worried about your friend Harold? I know that Harold and I broke up, but it might still be touchy for him. If we go any further, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
-
Samantha halted abruptly and pushed Dan away from her. "I don't know Dan." She panted, her round white breasts heaving at the top of her lace bra. "I mean, I've liked you since we were kids, but aren't you worried about your friend, Harold?" Dan winced slightly, looking at Samantha with a wounded expression.
Samantha bit her lip. "I know that Harold and I broke up, but it might still be touchy for him. If we go any further, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
---
Break up the conversation for 'reaction shots'. The dialogue takes a little longer to get out, but you're telling the story as you do so. The words are more integrated with the story, you can really sense them moving and thinking as they speak. Break up into more then one paragraph if you have to. Just remember that readers will absorb information better if it is in bite-sized chunks.
AH-AH! ONE AT A TIME DAMMIT!
This is a very simple rule that is broken quite often. It isn't a matter of artistry or skill, it's just a no-no.
Do not (I repeat) DO NOT, let two characters have dialogue within the same paragraph. This is on the same level as forgetting the quotation marks as far as rules in dialogue. It looks sloppy, it's easy to forget who's speaking, and it lends to bigger messier paragraphs.
So, one at a time.
HE SAID, SHE SAID, THE DANGER OF ATTRIBUTIVES
Often, stories struggle with a bad case of the 'he-said-she-said's' and those who try to avoid that can come down with 'pontificate-itis'.
We've all read (or perhaps written) a story where the dialogue never shifts from two or three well-worn attributives. Phrases like; He said, she said, John said, Martha said, etc. When you read a story like this, it can be a major annoyance. However, 'pontificate-itis' is just as obnoxious.
The author realizes that s/he uses 'he said' too often and tries to come up with ever more articulate phrases to convey meaning. Like; She pontificated, he rhapsodized, Martha babbled, John divulged, etc. Needless to say, this can border on ridiculous.
Of course there are a couple of easy fixes. Many of these phrases work in certain places; asked, questioned, whispered, shouted, cried, gasped, and so on. (those are some of my favorites.) If you make sure that the attributive matches the situation, you can have some variety without getting absurd.
Another loophole that I make generous use of. You don't even have to specifically say 'he said' or the equivalent. Look at this example.
---
Martha sat down and combed her reddish hair, wincing at the tangles. "I don't know why we have to go to this stupid charity thing!"
---
I did not say 'she said', or 'Martha said' or any equivalent. If you put a brief mention of your character before writing a quote, people know that it is the person you just wrote about that is supposed to be speaking.
Finally, there is nothing wrong with using 'said' in moderation.
GIVE YOUR AUDIENCE A LITTLE CREDIT
This tip ties back to the last one, but often, you can get away with not having to write anything at all before launching into dialogue.
Let's have an example of a couple named Martha and Stewart. Let's say that they are in bed, and Stewart is giving Martha oral sex. You have already set this up in a former paragraph.
---
"Oh God! Oh God that feels AMAZING!"
---
You don't have to add a single word to that, because no one reading that sentence will think that Stewart is saying that. If it is obvious who is speaking, you don't have to worry about wearing out any of your attributives.
CAPS LOCK (yay, irony!)
I will say this once. I will not say it again.
If you ever use all caps to describe an orgasm... I will hunt you down.
I hope this was informative and helpful!
Kisses and Spanks,
--Cruel
P.S. I mean it. If you ever type CCUUUUUMMMMIIIINNNGGG..... I will end you.
- COMMENTS
bow_that_is6 days agoI disagree you can use "CUUUUUMMMMIIIINNNGGG.....", but I would suggest only if your character is an actor playing the part of Frank-N-Furter and the story has reached the seduction scene with Brad and Janet.
burninglovealmost 3 years agoVery - Very Good Advice! The worst thing an author can do is to confuse the reader to the point they give up!
Burninglove
Anonymousabout 6 years agoILYSM
I read these stories for the romantic aspect and not the copulative activities. So when I stumbled upon your wonderful page, I was elated. The grammar! I could die, its so perfect. I do hope more will see this page.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoThis was some good reminders and pointers. Pay no attention to the comment from anonymous. No good deed goes unpunished.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoJohn O'Hara and George V.Higgins are the undisputed masters of dialog. Read some of each and get back to us with a new, correct tutorial. This is Writers Digest swill.
Anonymousover 11 years agoI can't write a how to article nor a Lit story even if my line is on the line but many howtos fall into the trap of structure and introducing structure.
Structure is Tell not Show and ends up becoming dry and full of false intros that end up full of outlines and mini-headers bogged down in between author gazing and blogger writer wannabe advice.
These tend to start with the writer pseudo-spending some space to apologize for why their howto is not some hard line truth or pseudo-complimenting their own examples. (and if they don't begin it that way, they certainly end their articles that way and prove why their advice is up for free)
Paradoxically this author's other submissions has problems with matching up with the quality of some of the other submissions posted in Literotica, but she nailed it with this one.
As soon as I read the all caps BREAK IT UP, I just knew this author nailed it. She turned a HowTo Article into an interesting dialogue throughout the article's sheer existence.
Regardless whether you review the actual content as good or bad or mediocre or too limited... it no longer matters!
The Howto has in itself become a showcase representative of what it's trying to teach.
As a howto seeker, I came away disagreeing with the title.
There is nothing quick or burbling about this. The writer through a sleight of hand has managed to slip in structure, timing, example and managed to weave all these into a "dialogue" on writing dialogue without sacrificing content for conversation consistency.
THIS. THIS is the epitome of a howto.
...maybe it's one flaw is that it lacks that entertainment ADD of Twilight or Harry Potter,
...or maybe it's one flaw is that it's not quite a story nor a letter nor an article that a seeker would find satisfactory in length and depth.
However: I have not found anything quite like this in Literotica, howto or otherwise.
It's just a classic piece of text. Other howtos may be bookmarked for reference or skimmed for highlights or read only once or twice after you get the lesson but this is a howto text that I can return to over and over again, and I'll learn something new each time.
If this sounds like hyperbole, I dare anyone to reread the text weeks later and pay close attention to when the writer slipped this bombshell of a lesson: THE DANGER OF ATTRIBUTIVES
...pay close attention to when and what mood you were in when that thing hit you and I'll tell you it's close to impossible to find a header that has been slipped in at that moment of time in Literotica.
It works great if you have a tired and lazy writer's mind and are not interested in a howto review of what you think you already know. It works great when you're reviewing the structure of your styles. It works great when you're just too worried that you wrote a clump.
Best of all, it fulfills a plot. The irony is a plot twist. The introduction is a great ice breaker. The lessons allow an example to grow in front of your eyes.
Even the over-use of commas splattered over the text provides a nice contrast to elevating the scene when the examples starts getting introduced and the alternatives start replacing and being described as better replacements.
While it's not perfect (the lack of gathered crowds of masses known as the webosphere flocking around this article being one example of why it's not) to me this is the howto equivalent of Charlie Kaufman's Adaptation. A 7.7 movie on IMDB that I think even it's worst critics would have a hard time not giving a 10/10 in the category of one of a kind works for it's genre, and I hope this analogy would help in reducing the people I pushed away by typing this anonymous review. I'm really not writing this review because I want to shill the author or have them be sprinkled with praise. I'm not writing this because I'm some Literotica regular that wants to game the system. I just think this needs to be said.
I think this needs to be said, but I don't think anyone else will ever say it.
Not the people who already wrote the reviews.
Not some future stranger.
This is why I'm typing what I'm typing and I really want to apologize if all this text just ends up pushing you away or all these words just ends up convincing you that, despite my praise, I learned nothing from the author in trying to break it up but I really believe this to be the best howto article I read on Literotica and I don't want anyone to miss out on what makes this particular article so special.
preternaturalabout 12 years agothey're a turn on. Counter productive. Fighting the urge to go all caps now.... :P
mel_pomeneabout 12 years agoI always find your essays on writing entertaining and informative, so please accept my thanks for this addition to what is fast becoming an excellent reference work.
As with anything (everything) else, you can't - and apparently don't - please everyone, but I will say again that you certainly please me.
I look forward to more of your insight into this writing lark and have given this piece the five stars it deserves.
