tagHumor & SatireA Retirees Condo

A Retirees Condo

byAlexanderT©

Carl and Roger had worked together for years. They had become friends, as had Jan and Laurie, their wives. They had both retired a few years ago and this summer the wives had found a condo in Florida for them to share.

But getting old is hell. Jan and Laurie still looked good, but he and Roger hadn't fared so well. Though his stomach was still flat, there was no definition and Roger had a tire around his waist from sitting at a desk all day.

And he could no longer remember when he didn't have to get up at three to take a leak. Not wanting to turn on a light and wake every one, he stumbled to the rental condo's bath, relieved himself, returned to the bed and snuggled behind his wife, spooning against her fanny. He pressed his semi hard erection between her cheeks and threw his arm around her.

"What the fuck?" The bedside light came on.

It wasn't his wife. It was Carl. He and Jan were in the other room of the two-bedroom rental.

"Sorry, Carl. I thought you were Laurie." Roger jumped up and stood by the bed in his tee shirt and shorts. He pushed his hair out of eyes.

"No. Hell no. You thought I was Jan." Carl's face wasn't beautiful when he was happy, and, right now, he wasn't happy. The top of his bald head glowed bright red, and the little bit of hair around it was frizzy.

Jan sat up on the other side of Carl, her blond curls shaking. "What's going on?" She pulled the covers up over her nightgown.

"Roger sneaked into our bed to fuck you."

Her eyebrows rose as she smiled. "He did?"

"No, I didn't. I thought I was in my bed and I was snuggling up to Laurie."

"You don't want to do me?" she giggled.

"I didn't say that."

"You can do me," said Jan, smiling, her blue eyes sparkling.

"The hell you say." Carl didn't agree.

Jan giggled and laid her hand on Carl's leg. "Come on, I'll give you a blow job while he does me."

"What is all the racket?" Roger's wife, Laurie, was at the door, in her kitten print pajama top.

Jan was the one to answer, "Carl and Roger were making out and they didn't want me to watch," she smiled.

Roger was livid, "No, no, hell no." He pushed his gray hair back and grimaced. "We were not making out. I went to take a leak, and in the dark, I made a mistake and got in the wrong bed and snuggled behind Carl, thinking it was you and he woke up Jan."

Laurie shook her head, her auburn hair brushing her shoulders. She pushed out her boobs and asked, "You mistook Carl for me?" Years earlier Laurie had paid the price for implants because her tits were so small. Now, at fifty-five, there was no sag.

"It was dark and his back was to me."

Laurie turned and pulled her pajamas tight across her backside. "You think my ass is as big as his?" She still had a narrow waist and narrow hips. Her cheeks were tight. He could easily impale her little brown hole and often did.

"No, you have a beautiful, perfect ass."

Jan, the troublemaker, "Actually, he sneaked in here to make love to me and got in on the wrong side of the bed."

"Did he, now?" Laurie asked with raised brows.

"No. I did not. I made a mistake."

"But I said he could. Carl said he couldn't but I offered to give Carl a blow job while he did."

"Well, Carl?" asked Laurie.

"No." He shook his head, the gray fringe of his bald head shaking.

Jan brightened, "Maybe we could do it the other way. You do me while I give Roger a blow job?"

"No. No. I'm not sharing my wife."

"And I have nothing to say about it?"

"No, you do not."

Laurie went over to Jan's side of the bed and sat. She caressed Jan's cheek and leaned down and they kissed. Jan enthusiastically joined in.

When they broke the kiss, Jan said, "Now, Carl, you kiss Roger."

"No. Not going to happen."

"No way. We aren't kissing." They were in agreement.

"But you enjoyed watching Laurie kissing me, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, but that's different."

"Why?"

"Girls kiss; Guys don't."

"Now that's another double standard if I ever heard one," argued Jan.

Laurie shook her head, "Okay, you want Roger. Take him in the other room and I'll stay her and make love to Carl."

Jan laughed, "That wouldn't be fair."

"Why not?" asked Laurie.

"Carl has to take a little blue pill and wait an hour to get it up."

Laurie stood, walked around the bed and pulled the covers back. Carl was wearing a t-shirt and blue and white striped boxers. Laurie sat down beside him. "Is that true?"

"Well," huffed Carl, "At my age, not everything works like it used to."

"Really? You're not much older than Roger, are you? He's seventy and he still gets it up." Laurie reached inside Carl's boxers and pulled out his flaccid member. As she stroked it, everyone looked on in fascination as it grew. At six inches, it was not huge, but it was certainly stiff enough for sex.

"Jan, it appears that Carl needs the blue pill to have sex with you." She continued to stroke, leaned over and kissed, then licked, the tip. She popped the tip into her mouth and let it noisily pop out.

"Roger, I think Carl wants me to fuck him and Jan doesn't mind. Do you mind?"

"Your pleasure is my pleasure," Jan giggled.

Laurie pushed off her panties, turned and pulled Carl's shorts off, straddled him and guided his stiff member into her. She eased down and began slowly rising and falling.

Jan was staring open mouthed at another woman having sex with her husband. Roger walked around the bed, sat down behind her, pulling her in front of him. They watched Carl unbutton Laurie's top and fondle her breasts. Roger reached around and cupped Jam's breasts and drew her to him.

"She's good, isn't she?" He whispered in her ear.

"Yes," she answered breathlessly.

"She'll ride Carl like that until he blows."

"And then?"

"Then she'll eat you until you come while I fuck your ass."

"No."

"Yes. But first I'm going to fuck you."

He stood and pulled her up from the bed to face him. He lifted her nightgown over her head. Her small breasts showed little of the ravages of gravity and age. The dark brown tips were hard with excitement. He kissed one, then the other, nibbling. He pushed her panties down and turned her to face Laurie and Carl. Still standing beside the bed, he bent her forward, letting her lean on the bed. He pushed down his pajama bottoms and stroked his rigid member up and down her wet slit, getting her wetter.

He pushed into her very tight hole and she squealed. He pushed in and out, slowly going deeper. When he was deep inside her, he kept one hand on her hip and caressed her ass with the other.

Laurie lost her concentration, looked over and smiled. Seeing Jan getting fucked seemed to energize Laurie and she changed her position, leaning forward. Roger knew she did that so it would put more friction on her clit and she did it when she was ready for an orgasm and though he was deep inside Jan, he enjoyed watching Laurie, knowing she was building to a climax.

He remembered the first time they made love. She was on top and when she climaxed, she screamed, loud.

And screamed.

And screamed.

When she stopped screaming, she fell on him, limp. He was frightened and thought she had passed out. But then he realized her vaginal muscles were still contracting and releasing, caressing his cock. He rolled her over and continued stoking in and out. She was having a continuous orgasm and didn't stop until he came.

In private, she would still scream, but she had learned to control herself when she had an orgasm in a public place: in a store, or a restaurant, or on a beach or on the deck of a cruise ship.

And now he heard her growling, trying to not scream. Her face pulled back into the strained smile of one in intense pain as she froze, pressed down on Carl's cock. It was enough to set Carl gurgling as he pushed up against her.

Jan, watching, began shaking beneath him. Roger brushed his thumb across her anus and held her as her knees seemed to fail. He kept pumping until he felt his cock growing, ready. With both hands back on her hips, he pumped faster until he began shooting wad after wad deep inside her.

As he softened, she became a dead weight. He released her and she fell on the bed, her head on Carl's arm next to Laurie's. Roger lay down beside her.

They lay there for a few minutes before Laurie rolled over between Carl and Jan and asked, "You know what I think?"

"No."

"I think we need a bigger bed."

They all chuckled.

Laurie rolled away from Carl and stood up, "I'm going in the shower. Roger, come do my back."

Roger grabbed his pajama bottoms and followed her.

The shower was on but she was sitting on the toilet. "Wish we had a bidet."

"Next time, we'll go to Europe."

She rose and went into the shower. He followed her, washed her back and she turned to let him do her front. "Wash it good," she said. "You may be eating it later."

She washed his cock, though not as carefully as if it had been in someone's ass. She stepped out of the shower, dried and pulled on her pajama top. He dried and put on his bottom.

They went to their room and lay down together.

He snuggled behind her and she asked, "Did you really go in there by accident?"

"You don't think I would intentionally climb into bed with Carl?"

"But you might if it were Laurie."

"Well, yeah. But we hadn't done anything with them before. What do you think?" he asked.

"I think they need some time to think about it. Jan is certainly ready for it but Carl isn't."

"How was Carl?"

"He was okay. Not as big as you and not as active."

"Hey, don't forget, you were on top. There's not a lot he could do."

"Yeah, maybe if he were on top or if I were on my hands and knees, he would do better. And he went limp quick."

"Come on. It's three in the morning, he hadn't had any pills and he's sixty-two."

"Well, if we started earlier and he took his pills, maybe he'll do better. How was Jan?"

"I think she would like a little adventure. Her tits are small and tight. But she's got a great ass."

"Did you fuck her ass?"

"No. And in looking at it, I don't think anyone has."

"Maybe we can change that."

"And she has a wild bush. I could hardly find her clit."

"Maybe she'll let you shave her like you do me."

They snuggled and dozed.

They were awakened by Jan sitting on the bed beside Laurie.

"Hey," said Laurie as she sat up.

"Hey. I talked to Carl. He loved doing you but he wasn't happy with Roger doing me."

"The double standard again," said Laurie.

Roger sat up, "Did you like it?"

"Oh, yes. That's why I came in here." She hesitated, then smiled. "Carl's asleep."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He's like that, what's the saying, 'he comes and goes. And Roger promised me...."

Laurie turned, "What did you promise her?"

"That you would kiss her clit."

Jan shook her head, her curls bobbing, "That's not what you said. You said you would do me in back while she kissed my doobie."

Laurie tilted her head, "Has Carl ever screwed you there?"

"No. He tried, but it wouldn't work. I was too tight."

"Ah. We'll have to work on that." Laurie moved to make room between her and Roger. "Come to bed."

As Jan started to climb in, Laurie stopped her. "And take off that granny gown." And Laurie pulled her pajama top off, exposing her breasts and belly.

Jan giggled, "But I am a granny." She stood and lifted the gown over her head and crawled into bed between them.

"Haven't you ever shaved?" Laurie asked."

"No. They shaved me at the hospital when I had Michael, but I haven't since then."

"Tomorrow, we're going shopping. We're going to get you some sexy undies, some shelves, and we're going to...."

"What's a shelf?"

"It's a bra that goes under your breasts, supporting but leaving the nipples exposed. It pushes your breasts up, making the most of them."

"Like Scarlett."

"Who?"

"Scarlett O'Hara. She had small tits, but made the most of them with a corset."

"Well, now they call them bustiers."

"I'll get one. Or two."

"And then I'm going to bring you back here and trim you." Laurie threw the covers back. "You like mine?"

Laurie's muff was a neat little gray triangle that could easily be hidden in a small bikini.

"Yeah, I would like that."

On various occasions, Roger had fondled Jan's tiny breasts, but only through her clothing. At a company party, he had even stroked her wet panties once. He expected that she went home and pounded Carl until the wee hours of the morning.

When Carl was on the road, they had invited Jan over and tried to entice her into a threesome but she had always resisted.

But not tonight. She was horny and Carl was asleep.

Laurie rolled over and kissed Jan, nibbling at her lip, her hand caressing her chin. Roger nibbled on Jan's ear as his hand found her naked nipple. He touched it lightly with his open palm and felt it harden. He moved his palm to the other and felt it harden. His hand was pushed aside by Laurie kissing the nipple, so he kissed Jan's lips, as his hand found her other nipple and tweaked it.

Jan gasped and he turned to see that Laurie had her head between Jan's thighs. Laurie was kneeling with her knees at Jan's shoulders and Roger easily reached and began caressing Laurie's ass.

Jan had one hand on the back of his head, moving him from one breast to the other, and the other in Laurie's hair. He took the one in Laurie's hair and moved it to Laurie's ass, moved it down between her legs and into her cleft.

"I'm touching a woman, " Jan whispered.

"Is Laurie touching you?"

"Yes."

"Touch her as she touches you." After a moment Roger asked, "Do you have a finger inside her?"

"Yes."

"Use three fingers. Stroke in and out." With his hand on hers, he could feel her moving. He took her hand, pulled it out and drew her fingers to his mouth and kissed them.

"Here, taste." He brought her fingers to her lips. She hesitated, sniffed, and he gently pressed them to her mouth. She sucked.

"Wait until you taste her."

He pushed Laurie away from Jan's vagina and on to her back. He sprawled across Jan and began kissing and licking Laurie's slit. He spread her legs and her lips so that his tongue could reach deep inside her. She was wonderfully wet, her juices all over his face.

He returned to Jan and kissed her, letting her taste Laurie's juices on his tongue. He eased Jan up, and let her kiss Laurie's cleft.

Laurie reached over, and with Roger's help, moved Jan on top of her so that she could return to tonguing and fingering Jan.

Unlike Laurie, Jan's ass was wide and heavy. He had often stroked it while dancing, as he pulled her against his erection. He had dreamed of plunging his cock into it.

Roger kissed Jan's neck, ears, whispering encouragements. As he worked his way down her back, kissing and caressing, he saw that Laurie was stoking Jan's asshole. He kissed Jan's cheeks, ran his tongue down her cleft. Laurie had the first fingers of each hand in her ass, stretching it. He used his tongue to add moisture as she pulled, widening. When it looked big enough, he straddled the two of them and eased his cock between Jan's cheeks. Laurie reached up, stroked and guided him. He entered very slowly, inch by inch, not wanting to hurt her.

Jan was pushing back against him, not trying to escape. He continued pressing deeper until he was as far in as her beautiful ass would allow.

He eased in and out, Jan twisting beneath him. Then Laurie popped one of his balls in her mouth and he could no longer contain himself. He welled up and shot wad after wad deep inside Jan. He felt Jan shaking with another orgasm and held on to her even as he began to lose his erection.

When she quit shaking, he fell down beside the two of them and Jan rolled over and spooned against her. They lay there for a moment and Laurie turned around to face Jan, and they kissed.

They snuggled together, dozing.

Suddenly, Jan sat up. "I've got to get back to Carl. He can't wake up and find me here."

She climbed out of the bed, grabbed her granny gown and kissed them both a quick goodnight and was gone.

Laurie spooned her back against Roger and after a moment asked, "What do you think?"

"I think it's going to be a fun week."

"Yes, but it appears that Carl has to be taken out of the equation."

"Tomorrow, Carl and I will go fishing and you two can go shopping. Get some toys, and the sexy underwear."

"That could work."

"Or don't go shopping at all."

"That sounds like more fun. And the next day, I'll get Carl to take me somewhere."

"Won't work. Carl is not going to trust Jan and I alone."

"You're probably right."

"It's simple, at night you two are going fuck him till he passes out, then come in here and play."

Laurie took a deep breath, "Yes, I guess that will work."

"Just do me a favor. After you two fuck him, take a shower."

"You could join us."

"I might."

"You know, it's going to be fun teaching her to eat pussy."

"And you are a very good teacher."

"Yes, you've become quite proficient. In fact, I think I'd like to test you right now."

She rolled over, pushed him on to his back, straddled him, and pushed her muff into his face.

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by Anonymous08/28/17

Great story

Loved the story please write another part soon !

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