A Simple Conversation 04: Astrid

This one is only a shorty, in fact, I had to cheat a little to get it up to 750 words. No sex, sorry, and it is mostly dialogue. It was inspired by Imhapless's fine tale, 'Tradimento'.

I don't know why everyone raves about how hard exactly 750 word stories are, this one was easy. Well... Okay, I did cheat a bit.

My thanks to CTC once again for the ideas and edit.

To those still out there saying there are no new affair discovery methods to be found, I say this. Bollocks!

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THE SCENE: Astrid is on the phone in the kitchen, multitasking; talking and cooking. She looks up as her husband, Dave comes in from work. Behind him is another man; muscled, blonde and rugged looking. Dave blows her a kiss. Astrid waves at him in acknowledgement while casting appreciative eyes at the guy. Dave grabs two beers from the fridge and leads his friend into the lounge. Astrid goes back to dinner and conversation with her sister.

"Undskyld, Ingrid, mister forudsigelig er lige kommet tilbage fra arbejde. Nu hvor var jeg, åh ja. Jeg blev næsten fanget af Petes kone i dag, gud det var tæt. Vi havde kun været der femten eller tyve minutter, jeg formoder. Han havde fyldt ham op en gang, og jeg gav ham den storslåede pik en lille slik for at få ham op igen.

"Ja, ja, jeg bliver bedre. Jeg fik mine læber inden for omkring to inches af bunden, da den store prik greb baghovedet og forsøgte at tvinge mig resten af vejen. Jeg gagged, han og lavede et løb til badeværelset, før jeg puked. Hans kone kom hjem tidligt og ringede op ad trappen for at spørge, hvor han var.

"Han standsede ved at sige, at han var kommet hjem tidligt fordi han var syg. Jeg greb mit tøj ud af gulvet og gemte sig i skabet, mens han kastede sit tøj på. Da hun kom ovenpå, tog han hende ind i badeværelset, tilsyneladende for at se på hans øjne under de lyse lys derinde. Jeg snukkede ud af huset og måtte gå hjem.

"Ja, det ved jeg, det bliver meget risikabelt. Jeg har tænkt på at kalde det alligevel. Efter seks måneder er det begyndt at miste sin nyhed. Den gamle risiko belønning...

Twenty-five minutes later, Astrid finally gets to the part of dinner that requires two hands for longer than she can hold the walk-about phone between shoulder and cheek. She says goodbye to her sister and hangs up. Quickly cutting the vegetables into suitable sizes, she opens the oven door and lays them in the baking dish, before calling through into the lounge.

"Dave, do you and your friend want another beer?"

"Just one for me, please."

Astrid grabs a stubbie for Dave, pours a wine for herself and walks into the lounge. To her surprise, her husband is sitting there alone.

"Where is your friend?"

"Oscar? He left."

"Is he coming back? I thought he was staying for dinner."

"No, something came up."

"That's a shame, you've told me so much about him. How he's helped you since he started at the plant, what, six weeks ago?"

"About then."

"How you've been helping him find a house in a nice neighbourhood. Is his wife still moving their kids up here after the end of the school year?"

"Yep."

"You never told me he was so bloody big. He looked like a Viking warrior; Chris Hemsworth, eat your heart out."

"Yes; he was just telling me that his folks are Danish, like yours. Denmark was one of the Viking countries wasn't it?"

"Yes. The Danes, Swedes, Norwegians and Icelanders all were. The lower Europeans knew them as 'North Men' which was shortened to 'Normans' before 1066.

"Hang on. You said his folks are Danish. Does he speak Dansk? It would be great if he does. It would be fantastic if I could practice on someone other than my sister. Can he come over tomorrow? I could get Ingrid over, and—"

"No, he won't be back tomorrow, or any other night in the foreseeable future, for that matter."

After saying this, Dave stood, grabbed his bottle of Islay malt and a glass from the booze shelf and poured himself a very generous tot.

"Why ever not, Dave?"

"Because, Astrid, he does indeed speak Dansk."

"But why would that stop him? My Danish mightn't be the best but it's not that bad either. Come on, Dave. It would be fantastic. Get him back here tomorrow. Tell him I'll cook Flæskesteg. Dad would crawl ten kilometres over broken glass with his fly unzipped for Flæskesteg."

Dave downed his tot in one go, then turned cold eyes to his wife.

"Oscar does indeed speak Danish. He speaks it so well he was able to tell me what you were saying on the phone to your sister. Now, fuck off out of my house before I do to you what you so thoroughly deserve but is not worth my going to gaol over."

THE END

For those that want it, below is what I typed into google translate to generate the Dansk one sided phone conversation.

"Sorry about that, Ingrid, Mr. Dependable just got back from work. Now where was I, oh yeah. I was almost caught by Pete's wife today, god, it was close. We'd only been there fifteen or twenty minutes, I suppose. He'd filled me up once and I was giving that magnificent cock of his a little lick to get him up again.

"Yes, yes, I'm getting better. I got my lips to within about two inches of the base when the big prick grabbed the back of my head and tried to force me the rest of the way. I gagged and made a run for the bathroom before I puked. His wife arrived home early and called up the stairs to ask where he was.

"He stalled by saying he'd come home early because he was sick. I grabbed my clothes off the floor and hid in the closet, while he threw his clothes on. When she came upstairs, he took her into the bathroom, ostensibly to look at his eyes under the bright lights in there. I snuck out of the house and had to walk home.

"Yeah, I know, it's getting very risky. I've been thinking of calling it off anyway. After six months it's started to lose its novelty. The old risk reward equation is starting to swing to 'it's just not worth the risk for the thrill of new cock anymore'. Besides, Dave is starting to bleat on about starting a family again.

"Now, tell me how...

Now lighten the fuck up.

INSTEAD OF "SINGLE" AS A MARITAL STATUS I PREFER "INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED".