A Slave to the Servants Ch. 32

I leaned back and the soft seat I was in allowed me to recline almost entirely. One hand separated my soft vulva and fingers explored the wet area between. Two fingers explored the entrance to my vagina. I fucked myself slowly and then dragged the moisture over my distended clit.

It felt so good I couldn't help myself, a moan slipped out and I heard Rose shift on the bed. The lust cooled some and I waited for her to either awaken or fall back to sleep. Her breathing stayed slow and deep, so I continued to play.

Ever so slowly I rubbed my slick clit. The protruding nub got larger as I stroked it. Images filled my head, but they were no longer ones I'd seen. Now it was my imagination and my game as I played with myself.

In my mind, I stood over Damien with the lash in my hand. His cries of want and frustration were music to my ears. With each stroke of my fingers I brought the flogger down over him. I warmed his chest and upper thighs, but I came just as the strips of leather slapped his erect cock.

The power felt so good as I lay recovering on the soft chair. I'd forgotten how wonderful it felt to be in charge. It had been so long since I'd been in charge of anything. Now my body, my mind, my sexual needs, and all my other needs were mine to control. I decided to test out what I could do for myself.

I tried again to find a family that I could have some fun with. For some reason, I didn't want to ask any of my friends. Ratru and his Brothers were cute, but asking them for sex felt wrong. Armant and his Brothers were too old and they were coworkers. Arik and his family didn't appeal to me "that way". Instead I introduced myself to other men, most just didn't understand what I wanted.

One family of men understood my overtures. They offered to mate with me for fun. I walked with them to their rooms before I decided against it. Feeling like a real human woman, I feigned a headache and left. The next day I heard they'd just found another willing partner.

No one in the camp begrudged me my choices. The men and women here just trusted that left on my own, I'd do what was best. It was my life and I was allowed to live it how I wanted.

I needed time to think when I wasn't surrounded by my talkative campmates. That was hard to do in what was essentially a commune. I did find one place that I could work and think.

There were things the men grew that tended to do better wild. Arik and his Brothers had spread berry seeds in nooks and crannies all over the protected area in front of the camp. I wandered the mountainside in the afternoon plucking the wild berries inside the defensive barrier. It gave me a chance to think without interruption.

I walked the sunny slope finding the elusive fruit and pondering my circumstance. This wasn't a job the other men in the camp liked, although they liked the berries. Everyone was perfectly happy to let me have my afternoons to myself if this was my preferred activity. It gave me time.

There were things I did like about Damien's family. When I met other men I always compared them to the men I knew best. Everyone always came up lacking. They didn't have Christof's gentleness, Kein's fierceness, or Evan's sense of humor. I appreciated Damien's forthright command and Bane's quiet strength. To me, Damien's family was the perfect blend.

There were other things, too, that I found I liked. Damien and his Brothers had tried to change when it became apparent they should. The novelty of the situation was just something they weren't prepared for. Even now they were struggling to let go of their old teaching. The beliefs they had were deeply ingrained.

Change was difficult for everyone on Pateria. At least Damien and his Brothers had made an attempt. The men in the camp couldn't seem to let go of their old thinking about slavers. They didn't even give the new men a chance. Damien's ability to adapt was unique.

It struck me that my own actions may have made the situation worse. Damien and his Brothers had quickly trained me to do what they wanted and let them provide. Even after they had freed me I'd maintained that out of habit.

When I thought back on it, I'd rarely been forceful in helping to lead the family. The times I was persistent, they took my feelings into account. Honestly, I was rarely forceful with them. More than once, I'd just blithely assumed they would care for me.

In truth, I'd known I was not taking any contraception when I'd become pregnant with Jonathan. Instead of demanding the men discuss it with me, I'd just let it continue. I'd allowed them to care for me entirely. I'd followed the slave training and not thought about the responsibilities of a free Sister.

I sat with my basket of berries and looked up into the sunlight. In the distance I could hear men talking and laughing. Birds and other creatures called out into the bright afternoon. There was no gloom here, except in my thoughts.

Perhaps I could have told them how much they hurt me when they punished me. The morning after I had expressed some of it, but I'd buried most of it. I'd kept the dreams a secret and not really helped them understand the psychological damage they had inflicted on our relationship.

While I could not have stopped the corporal punishment, I could have helped them understand it was a mistake. If I'd really been honest about how scarring that experience was, they might have listened. Instead I had buried my feelings and let things go on. It was a slave's reaction to accept their will without question. I should not have done that.

At the end of the day, the issue was clear. I loved Damien and his Brothers, despite their past mistakes. They had forced me into performing sexually for them, but they'd never asked that I come to love them. In the beginning I don't think they'd even been aware I could feel this way about them. Now everything about this situation was my choice.

There were two options really. I could ignore the way I felt and let it fade into a memory. We would share offspring, but be no closer than a divorced couple in a similar circumstance. The second option to offer Damien and his Brothers real forgiveness and a chance to do right. If I really had it in me to pardon them for their past crimes and failures we could try again. Neither option was without flaws and I risked something either way.

Several days later, I went to the giant bathing cave in the early morning and sat beside the dryer on a warm stone. Men's clothing was there, so I was sure Damien and his Brothers were in here somewhere.

After many moments Damien and his Brothers moved into the light. They looked pained as they filed out of the water. I watched stoically as they dried themselves and sat in a semi-circle around me. We didn't speak and merely sat quietly with one another.

"You made mistakes," I told them after a while. "I won't tolerate those mistakes again. No one is going to beat me or force me to do things. I won't be tricked or trained anymore. Our relationship must be as open as the one you share with each other."

"We talk to Kennedy and Hannah," Christof said softly. "They help us understand things. My Brothers and I acted dishonorably many times. We know that things are different here from what we were taught. We are learning to think differently."

"Pain is not a tool we should use," Kein said bluntly. "Bringing pain is a way to train someone. We are all intelligent. If we are taught we can learn to change without pain. My Brothers and I don't need pain, neither do you. What we did to you never should have been done, especially after we called you family."

"Thank you," I said accepting his understanding. "I am not as physically strong as you, but that does not give you the right to dominate me. I demand your respect and consideration in all things."

"We believed you weak, Sister," Evan said solemnly. "We thought we had to protect you, but the things we did were wrong. Even if it brought you pain, you deserved the truth as we knew it. My Brothers and I were so desperate to keep you, we pushed you away."

I nodded and knew they were learning, finally.

"We apologize," Damien said, "for our wrongdoing, all of it. We wish to change and learn the new ways. All of us want you in our life, we are lonely without you."

Heads bowed with left arm crossing each chest the men waited for my decision.

It was a huge choice and turning point for me and I chose to stay. My men had made mistakes, loads of them, but they were willing to change. I wanted to be with them for that. Somehow I knew I would treasure this about them as time went on.

"Promise to respect me," I whispered getting down on my knees in front of Damien, "and I will promise you the same."

I didn't bathe with the men that morning. We hugged and kissed, promising to meet like this every day. We were family and family does not separate.

Over the next moon, my men learned and the relationship changed, which was good, because all sorts of things were happening.

Rose and I both got callouses on our fingers from the hard work with Armant's family and the time we spent outside working. The rough patches on our hands were a point of concern at first. Our families realized the patches weren't hurting us and it was normal.

As time went on we got more callouses, so it was good the men understood. Hannah, when she was around, insisted we become proficient with weapons. Rose and I carried our swords and were taught to use them. Much like the rest of the camp, we would be responsible for ourselves in case of attack.

Ratru's family taught us to fight and to use the swords they had made for us. The men were surprised and impressed I already knew some of the drills and moves. That Damien's family had actually trained me seemed to startle them. It gave them a tad bit more respect for the men they still called "slavers".

Rue and his Brothers, much to their dismay, were instructed to teach Rose and me about the guns. Much like everyone else, Rose and I should be fully armed. No one was surprised by Rue's treatment of us. Apparently Rue treated everyone horrid, not just humans. They were good teachers though and I learned to use the weapons they'd made.

As time went on, I was getting braver and braver. While everyone else was indifferent to Rue's subtle underhanded remarks, they finally put me in a mood. Even in the middle of many families I felt my temper flare. We were standing in the "training range" where we learned to fire the weapons when I exploded.

Rue had explained in an exaggerated fashion how to aim the weapons, since I had missed, which was actually unusual for me. His Brothers laughed as he repeated his instructions. They commented about how slow and stupid I was. I heard the remarks and couldn't resist.

"So," I asked loudly, "will you lock me in a box overnight for this? Perhaps there is another punishment you would like to inflict on me KEEPER?"

The training ground was suddenly silent as the men around us registered the comment.

"Why do you call these men Keeper?" a man asked from the side. He was a rescued man from the Barnas compound. That word had meaning to him.

I crossed my arms and stared at Rue with open malevolence. "Didn't you tell them how you used to keep slaves in exchange for stones? Aren't you proud of your role in supporting slavery in the compounds?"

"For stones!" Rue's Brother said loudly, "We never used you for your purpose or showed any interest in you."

"Slavery is an abomination," a man said loudly to our left and I grinned.

"You participated," I said to Rue smugly. "Really, what kind of men does that make you?"

I turned and stalked away, leaving Rue and his Brothers to deal with whatever mess I'd stirred up. Some part of me wanted to feel guilty, but I didn't. I deserved a little payback for all those nights locked in that little vault. Odds were the Administrators would sanction the other men, but in my opinion it was worth it.

The men weren't supposed to fight and usually they behaved. I heard the scuffle begin behind me and grinned knowing what it meant as I walked out. A little payback wasn't a terrible thing.

I saw Fuji rarely in this new life, but when I did the differences were striking. The more freedom Reed and Hassar insisted she take, the better she looked. Her skin practically glowed and when her hair started to grow in, it looked like I'd never seen it before. It was an extraordinary difference.

Instead of the thin mangy look her red hair had always had, it was now thick and lush on her head. A strip of it even ran down her back along her spine. She looked truly magnificent and wild.

Fuji's favorite activity was hunting and the women encouraged her to do that. She roamed the outside world and brought back meat for many of our meals. I'd see her sometimes on the mountainside beyond the protected perimeter. She was fast and they'd taught her how to fight. My friend had become a brutally efficient hunter. Everyone respected her skill at it.

We'd talk sometimes when she came back into camp. She was so entirely different than she had been prior. Gone was the demure girl who had no opinions of her own. Fuji used the resources available to her and became an individual in her own right. She had become proud, stubborn, and opinionated. It was a miraculous change.

I saw her one day dragging the bloody carcass of a rack through a ground level entrance into the transport storage area. The men surrounded her as she entered and eyed her catch with appreciation. Every piece of a rack was valuable in the camp, none of it would be wasted, but catching and killing one was a feat. The men were honored when she gave her prize over and instructed them to make good use of it.

"How did you do that?" I asked as the men carried the body away with hoots and calls, alerting everyone to the bounty.

"Racks aren't hard," Fuji informed me, shaking her hair out. "I could catch more, but the Administrators only want me bringing the population down, not decimating it."

Up close I could see several healed lines on her flesh. My friend had no use for clothing and continued refused all offers to furnish her some. Fuji had scars that crisscrossed her torso and arms. Knowing what it took to penetrate her skin, I imagined learning to kill a rack had not been an easy chore. She was too proud of her ability to be worried about that. Her worth was not based on her perfect physical self anymore.

"You've changed, my friend," I told her. "I never thought you would be like this."

Fuji looked at me and then at the world outside the cave.

"My home planet was like this," she said. "I was not able to explore it. Women on my planet are only valuable for sale. My male breeder secluded my sisters and me underground. We were trained to serve and then sold, so he could continue his habit..."

I felt foolish, but I didn't know much about Fuji's home world. I wasn't sure what habit she referred to. My confusion was evident.

"I've learned about my home planet, Batra," Fuji explained. "The worms that are so nutritious for you are from there, but we hunted them to near extinction,once we discovered them. They are very difficult to afford, now. Before the worms, my people were proud fighters. We did not sell our children to be slaves on other worlds. The worms took away our sense."

I nodded sympathetically, knowing that drugs had ruined many proud humans on Earth.

"The hold of those things can be hard to break," I said sadly.

"I have broken their hold over me," Fuji stated with obvious pride. "I do not need the worms to feel good. Hassar has brought them here and I was able to sit and look at them. It made me feel strong to ask her to take them away from me."

In the distant past I'd seen Fuji react to the worms. If she no longer felt the pull for them, that was really saying something. It was a testament to her new strength she didn't need them to feel good.

Several men approached and wanted Fuji to hunt for them. They wanted to work at a place they knew to be infested with racks. My friend could help them keep the creatures away and under control while they worked.

We bid each other goodbye as she walked casually off with the men. I watched her leave with some awe. She looked like a radiant goddess and carried herself the same way. Freedom had done amazing things for her.

Rose was changing, too. Once upon a time, she'd been a bright energetic girl with strong opinions and midwestern work ethic. Her husband had started to crush her spirit and then slavery had taken away what she had left. Free and encouraged, she found herself again.

I watched with admiration as my friend took on the task of being a free woman. She was unstoppable when a job needed to be completed. When the men around us were tired and frustrated Rose became their cheerleader. Everyone appreciated having her around.

Time came and went and I timed it by my menses. They seemed to follow the cycle of the main moon, which I found odd. It took three cycles before things started to change in the way the camp's men felt about the "slavers".

During the day Rose and I talked nonstop to the men around us. We made every argument we could in favor of our families and it started to work. Actually the argument Rose chanced upon started to work. She had asked me innocently if all men on the planet were part of the Great Harmonious Spirit or just ones like the people in the camp.

By the time we tried it on our coworkers, Armant's family, we were sure it would be effective.

"Of course all men are part of The Great Harmonious Spirit," Armant answered her. "They must only accept that part of themselves and bond with us. We are all part of The Great Spirit."

Rose laughed, a light sound that did not even hint at the power of what she was about to say.

"Basin's family and Damien's family are not part of your Spirit," she scoffed. "They are outcasts and forbidden from blending into the camp. No, it seems to me you pick and choose those that are allowed to join your Spirit, everyone is not part of it.

Armant's family was offended and bothered. I saw Rose's sly smile as I stitched diligently. I would never have thought to try that argument, but it seemed to be working.

As we walked to our afternoon chore, we were in the fields today, I told Rose what a good idea that had been.

"It seemed to me the only argument they might listen to," she said quietly gripping the hilt of her sword. "Basin and his Brothers are learning and so is your family. They have been loyal to us, we must be loyal to them. We must fight for their rights."

I agreed and gripped the handle of my own sword, she was right. Damien and his Brothers had been willing to fight for my rights, I owed them the same. Since we'd finally found an argument that worked, we would use it.

Rose and I went to the garage with the transports and caught a ride with a friendly family. We both knew how to drive the transports now, thanks to men generously teaching us, but we didn't like to go out alone. There was just two of us, which was not enough to man the transport's weaponry. We were safer going with a family.

The men we went with today were Abram's family. They all wore their hair in a long style, tied back. They were nice men and liked to tell jokes. They usually worked in the kitchens, but it was harvest time for many plants. They'd do whatever job the Administrators put them to, including field work.

Rose and I rode with them outside the protected area to a large field growing rupe. We could not eat it, as I already knew, but native Paterians digested it fine. It was harvested and put on the tables when it was in season. Rose and I knew what it looked like and avoided it, just like any man with human ancestry.