A Soldier For All Seasons Ch. 20

*Ready, Nate?* Isabelle asked.

Nate arched his spine, scanning the rest of the sleeping dormitory. Snores, both soft and loud. The group's positive energy from their visitor's day had quickly drained away in the face of Rivera's brutal training scheme.

He wanted to collapse into his pillow and never leave it, but he'd promised Ana. Promised he'd do better.

And that meant bending the rules.

He gently left his bed and tiptoed around the beds, avoiding wayward boots and bags.

Bastian let out a loud snore, the unhealthy whine of a thirty year old ship engine. Nate froze.

Out in the corridor, he breathed a sigh of relief.

He could do this.

To the medbay. In the dark, the corridors became eerie. In each shadow, he saw Rivero's glaring face. But she never came.

The medbay. His old friend. He'd spent more time there than any other recruit. Every duel, skirmish, obstacle course, he ended up with some bone that needed resetting, some cut that needed patching up. And earlier that day, when he'd been getting the good Doctor to reset his shoulder, he'd left a little something.

The room was alarmed to stop trainees from stealing the drugs within, as much good as that had done him when he'd been attacked. But the alarm only kicked in when the door was shut.

And a little chewing gum on the strike plate stopped the dead bolt from sensing it was locked. Nate simply walked in.

When the sun rose, he had a duel with Tanzin the Tiger, the bald man that fought like the devil from the Tigers team. He knew he'd lose...unless.

Oh, yeah, plug it into me. Isabelle said enthusiastically.

Why have you got to make this weird? Nate grumbled, disconnecting the medbay's computers from the analytical and pain-relieving state of the art med-bed.

Just do it already.

He hooked Isabelle in to the machines.

Oh yeah. She sighed in bliss.

It can't possibly feel that good. Nate accused.

Three, two, one...and it's gone. What good is a star that burns too bright? Isabelle bemoaned.

*Have you got it or not?*

*Oh yeah, I got it. Just you wait until your fight. We're back on the winning road, baby.*

*It's never that easy.* Nate sighed, but he was smiling despite himself. At least he was doing something.

He cleaned up after himself and scampered back to the dormitory. Inside, as he slipped into bed, he caught the slightest movement.

Lunar stared at him with unblinking eyes.

"I...was just...yeah." Nate whispered lamely.

"Goodnight, Nathan Clancy." She whispered back.

He gave her his brightest smile. "Goodnight, Lunar Moon."

***

Tanzin kicked his legs high into the air, balancing with just a single hand as he whirled around, showing off for the crowd with a big grin. His head was shaved and he wore a mockery of a monk's robes — this was a man that had long forsaken any vows he'd taken.

Behind him, the Tigers smirked. They were confident.

They had every right to be, Nate thought. Tanzin was a frightening slip of a man who danced around like a butterfly and stung like a fucking rhino.

Nate was a perennial loser who could barely see the punches that hit him. But today, today would be different.

Or at least that was the plan.

*You're sure about this?* He asked Isabelle.

*I've told you already.* She said exasperatedly in his mind. *His calf, the back of his shin. He's extended that muscle too many times and got it fixed on the cheap in some backwater. Hit it enough times and he won't be able to stand.*

Nate looked at him dubiously. The man was dancing around like he was in a nightclub.

"You know the rules." Rivero eyed him as she said it. Nate looked back innocently. "Three, two, one."

Rivero stepped back.

Tanzin swayed from side to side, drunkenly, legs wide, arms following. In the crowd, somebody snorted. Nobody was falling for that, not again.

Nate stood still, keeping his arms up. He just needed to guard, wait for the right opportunity.

Tanzin bored quickly. He swayed forward and jabbed a low left kick that turned into a spinning right kick. A heavy heel landed on Nate's outstretched hands, but not before he responded with a dirty jabbed foot as Tanzin landed.

Right on his calf.

Tanzin didn't wince. But his smile slipped.

*Hello, Mommy.* Isabelle said.

"Bad landing?" Nate said cheerily.

"What is your people's phrase?" Tanzin rotated his neck slowly. "The pride before the fall?"

Tanzin faked a punch; Nate dodged to the right, but he'd been read like a book — Tanzin's left cracked him across the face. His nose crunched but didn't break.

Nate just smiled, trying for another shin-kicking low swipe, hoping to swipe the calf behind it. Everytime he did, he overextended, earning another hit to the face.

But he could take the pain.

He always had.

Tanzin stepped into his guard, raining down punches, but Nate just held him, laughing through the pain, kicking that reddening calf.

"The fuck is wrong with you, man?" Tanzin growled angrily.

"Honestly, I wish I knew." Nate spat blood and wiped away the snot spiraling from his disjointed nose.

Tanzin's next kick made the room spin, but Nate's response smashed his calf as it landed.

"Hope you'll be alright for the ten kilo run later." Nate taunted.

*He's slow, Nate.* Isabelle noted.

It was true. He was moving gingerly, warily.

Nate sensed a trap. He faked a launch forwards and just about leaned back to avoid a one-two jab that grazed the skin on his nose.

But it wasn't all for show. Tanzin couldn't retreat fast enough, and Nate felt his window closing. He stepped forward to launch a rabbit kick into his calf, rewarded with a roar of pain.

He didn't stop there. Tanzin was there for the taking, stationary.

All he had to do was dance. He took three steps to every one of Tanzin's.

The man fell within seconds to a barrage of clean blows and Nate didn't stop until Rivero separated them, until Tanzin's face was an ugly red distortion, a reflection in a funhouse mirror.

Behind him, his team roared. Bastian picked him up and practically threw him back at his team-mates. Hakeem clapped his back so hard it hurt. Lita kissed his cheek. Lunar just palmed his face and smiled, that mysterious smile. Even Graziano shoulder-barged him in some strange affection way.

"That's the fucking shit, fuck yeah, fuck." Graz said incoherently, grinning.

The rest of the trainees clapped, some cheering. The Tigers looked distraught.

When his team let him go, Rivero held his arm high, announcing the winner.

"The winner is Clancy! Remember, winners do whatever it takes." She caught his eye and gave the slightest of nods.

Did she know?

He decided she didn't.

She let him go to be surrounded by his team, and for a moment he let himself feel the glory of victory, after so many losses. The smiles so wide his face hurt, the touch of hands on his back, shoulders rubbing, hair tousles.

He'd almost forgotten.

It was like when he and his squad returned from battle, that desperate almost biological need to remind themselves that they still lived. Loud crowing, dirty jokes, boisterousness that turned to drunkenness if there was any liquor nearby.

It felt good.

But through it all, he felt a burning deep inside, an itch that he couldn't scratch.

He really wanted to tell Ana that he'd won, finally.

Would she be proud of him? He'd cheated, sorta, kinda, really.

But she'd told him to start winning, whatever the cost, just to remember what it felt like.

And it felt good.

*Ana is always proud of you.* Isabelle reminded him.

And wasn't that true?

***

Ana stared out at the stars, resisting the urge to check their navigation plans again. She'd already optimized the route three times. And then re-checked it three times more, making sure she couldn't speed them up by a minute more.

Love is love is love. A book on marriage, on partnership, on love, by a Lunari couple who'd been married a hundred years.

Something she'd picked up on her armguard while feeling particularly lonely, reminiscing over her time with Nate.

Giving is the most important part of love. Love is a doing word. It does not pour out of your pores. It is not in your aura. It is in your actions. You've read all this and more in previous chapters.

And yet how does this change when your partner is in desperate need, who struggles and flails and looks to be drowning?

If your partner loves you, then they will try to sink alone. They will drown themselves rather than risk splashing you with even a drop of water.

And if you love them, you'll have to give even more of yourself.

You'll need to strip naked, strip off your self-doubt and insecurity and fear of being too pushy, fear of being rejected, fear of being unloving or too loving or even the fear of drowning yourself.

You'll need to jump in.

Because when they're in need, sometimes all they need is...

You.

Ana flicked the holo-screen away, sighing. Nate needed her. She'd felt in his touch, in his peppered kisses, in the way he'd been reluctant to let her leave his embrace. In the way he stroked his fingers down her spine. And then crossed his arms behind her and squeezed her tight, burying her head in his neck so she couldn't see his face.

She didn't need to see his face to know his heart.

And his heart hurt.

She had to get back to him.

But that wouldn't make the dockyards of Watta Lien Bay arrive any quicker.

She could almost cry.

A cry came from the ship, loud and piercing. Not hers. Cora.

Ana ran.

Cora wept in their bedroom, curled up in a ball, wracked with heaving sobs. She buried her head even as Ana swept her up.

"Cora, honey, what's wrong?" Ana shifted her from side to side, trying to examine her.

The pink-haired girl pulled back and stared at her.

Ana stared back.

For Cora stared with no eyes. Her eyesockets were red and black, bloodied and bruised shells lining wriggling flesh.

Ana pulled back, revulsed despite herself.

Between them, Cora opened her hand, revealing cyber-implants, ugly bulky fake-eyes with a metallic sheen, along with a long squirming cable, a worm untethered.

"Cora, I'm so sorry, we'll fix this, Nate will—"

"No." Cora smiled, a smile tinged with madness. "Don't you see? Don't you see? I can feel the itch, the pain, the nerves. I want to rub my eyes raw."

"Cora—"

"They're growing. My eyes...they'll come back! Not fake eyes, not implants, not optics that hurt and don't fit and burrow into your brain, but real real eyes."

Ana couldn't believe that, but she could believe in Nate.

Cora wailed and clutched her tight. "Why does he have magic cum?" She laughed, the emotion so sharp that it felt like a sob, and Ana didn't know whether she was happy or sad. And she suspected Cora didn't either.

Ana just hugged her tighter.

"I thought I'd be a f-freak forever." Cora admitted. "I didn't believe. It's Nate. It's all Nate."

"Sssh...we're here for you. Nate will help you."

Cora pulled back, hands patting blindly down her body until they found her hands. She squeezed them so hard it hurt. "Ana, I'll do...whatever it takes. You hear me? Whatever."

"Easy, honey." Ana told her gently. "You're recovering, growing, whatever. But you need sleep, and the pain will probably be better if I knock you out for a while. I'm going to give you some pills, okay?"

"Ana," Cora bit her lip. "You're not listening. Nate—"

"Nate's not going to sleep with you, not yet." Ana said firmly. "It would fre—unsettle him, I mean, to have sex with a girl that's not...receptive."

"But—"

"But we can still make sure you get a full belly." Ana patted her skin comfortingly. "We can give him a show to get him in the mood and we can have some fun together." She scrambled in the drawer behind for the pills she'd found but never used, the ones that reminded her that this ship was once meant to kidnap her, was once piloted by a false Captain, a member of a conspiracy she still had to uncover.

"Get some sleep and maybe we can practice once you can wake up, huh?" Ana kissed her cheek before pushing a pill into her mouth. She pulled the unresisting girl onto the bed, pulling the blankets over them.

"Ana, Ana, Ana," Cora cried out as Ana made to leave the bed. "Where are you?"

"Sssh, I'm right here." Ana said soothingly. When someone is in need, give more of yourself.

"I w-want him to know." Cora stretched her hands out, feeling for Ana's hands. "I need him to know, before any-everything changes."

"To know what?"

Cora pulled Ana closer, so close the Lunari could stare into the eyes Cora didn't have.

"I want him to know that I was so grateful, so grateful." She let out a long yawn, squirreling into the blankets, nestling into the pillow. The pill was working. "E-even if it makes me different, even if it doesn't work, even if it doesn't work, even if it hurts, even if I die. I was so happy and so fucking grateful. Can you tell him?" Cora asked sleepily, so exposed that Ana felt like she could strike her down forever with the wrong words.

"I will." Ana answered, but Cora was already gone, lost in a dream world, a furrow on her brow at odds with the smile on her face.

***

The dropship left them at the bottom of a verdant hill, each green blade dewy with the wet mist that enveloped them, swirling in pale vapors. The sodden grass sunk under their feet, imprinted with their prints.

Lunar went through some swing and stab forms with her gunblade. Hakeem yawned. Nate watched as Graz bit back the urge to chastise him. They'd only woken thirty minutes before.

Rivero liked to surprise them with skirmishes.

Even through their exhaustion, there was a thrill in the air.

The Eagles were back. Nate's duel had sparked something — not hope, they'd lost too much for that. But possibility. And the more extreme the possibility, the more it hung over them as...doable. That most human of qualities, Nate mused — the unerring belief in the magical power of the underdog.

And the possibility was extreme indeed, given their opponent was the Serpents. The unconquerable swaggering Serpents, led by Xavier. Nate burnt to hand him a taste of his own medicine, but he couldn't do that with Graz leading.

Behind them, a geyser erupted, spitting up boiling water hundreds of meters in the air, high and wide and loud. Steam hissed and billowed around the huge white water eruption, a waterfall in reverse. A wash of heat dried their skin.

They watched with interest for several minutes until it dissipated. It cut off abruptly, like nature hanging up a phone call. A swarm of blue lizards skittered excitedly into the geyser as soon as it was gone.

Lunar oohed as the water abruptly turned from a boiling, steaming white to a glacial blue. The lizards were heat-eaters — together, they could reduce the boiling water of the spring to a cool swimming pool, drawing in the thermal energy through their pores.

Nate had seen a holo-video once where they exploded after eating too much.

Their dropship hung in the air, holding Rivero and the Serpents both. Rivero looked frustrated. No pilot wanted to fly while geysers were active.

"Don't move for five minutes!" Rivero yelled into a megaphone from the dropship. "The other team's gotta get into position. I'll know if you do."

Graz swore at her as soon as her head turned. "Fucking psychopath." He muttered.

"Listen, Graz—" Nate started.

"Don't do this again." Graz growled.

"Nate, seriously, is this the time?" Lita rolled her eyes.

Even Hakeem looked to the skies. They were all used to his common attempts at leading the team in these skirmishes.

Nate wasn't going to give up that quickly. "For fuck's sake, just listen to me. Will you at least take some suggestions from me?"

"Because that's worked so well before." Graz snorted, kicking up wads of grass.

"Graz...I was at the battle of Pelham Industries, you know? When their mercs went mad, I fought alongside your father. He was a good man." Nate lied. He and Isabelle had been busy reading newspaper articles and obituaries.

Graz stopped short, neck snapping around. "You were there?"

"I was." Nate swallowed. This was a low move, even for him. Whatever it took, Rivero said. Ana had said. "He was a good man."

"Why—why didn't you say sumthin'?" Graz pushed him back, but there was no strength in it.

Nate kept his gaze locked on Graz. "Because it's not an easy thing to tell a man's son."

"Fuck." Graz blew out a long breath. "The fuck you telling me this now?"

"Because your dad was a fucking fighter and a fucking winner. And I want you to be one, as well. Because," Nate swallowed the bile in his mouth. "Because that's what he would want."

Graz bowed his head to hide away but not before Nate saw him. Saw him all. He toed the grass lightly. Clenched his fist. Unclenched them.

Checked his magazine.

Checked his safety.

Stared at the sun.

Gulped.

Growled.

"Alright man, fuck. You fuck me up like this right before the match, you take responsibility. Fuck." He spat saliva into his hand and held it out.

Nate shook it. "Thanks, man."

"Yeah, yeah. Your moves always seem like bitch moves though."

Nate smiled, even if it didn't reach his eyes. He felt gross. "War is a lot of bitch moves." He said truthfully. "We used to win with a lot of them."

"Pops probably taught you them. He was a winner." Graz said uncertainly, scanning his face.

Nate nodded, keeping his face light. "Sure did, sure was."

"Alright," Lita clapped her hands together, looking between them uncertainly. "Nate, you've got the floor. What's the plan?"

They'd seen the battle map. They couldn't be certain of it, but the dropship had flown high.

Over that verdant hill, a valley of a dozen geysers. Spitting dangerously high, the springs alternated, bubbling gently as the lizards did their best before finally erupting, smoke billowing outward to join the morning mists.

The erupting geysers would make great cover. Temporary cover, but cover nonetheless. He knew what Rivero expected of them. At the end of the short valley, another hill and Nate would bet all his credits on the Serpents' flag being over that hill.

He tested the heat of the hot spring behind him with a delicate finger and then promptly stuck his head in, wresting himself as far down as he could.

It was clear within and clearer still once Isabelle adjusted his vision to account for refraction and low light. There was no end to the spring, none at all. Nate nodded in satisfaction as he pulled himself back up.

Above, the safety and camera drones buzzed. The watching eyes waited for them to lose yet again.

Not this time.

Nate clapped his hands together, running a hand through wet hair.

"Alright, here's the plan."

***

"Ready, boss?"

"March out." Xavier confirmed, keeping the smile on his face small and tight. It wouldn't do to show everyone how much he was going to enjoy it.

His team-mates felt the thrill of adrenaline themselves though, whooping and hi-fiving.

"Let's celebrate after, huh?" He chastised. "Cornered tigers bite hard."

"Yes, boss." His number two said, tossing her blonde hair back. Jessie, he noticed, didn't hesitate to sway that behind of hers as they started up the hill.

"Got it, Jay-jay?" Xavier stayed behind to check.

"Yeah, yeah. Stick with the flag, keep my eyes out, let you get all the glory, I get it." The short bulky man said, waving him away.

"Next time, I promise." Xavi called behind him.

"You said that last time!"

At the top of the hill, Xavier surveyed the battlefield. Not much in the way of tactics, but it was a small valley. There was definitely the possibility of hand-to-hand. He really wanted to pay that old man for all the dirty groin punches he'd received — who the fuck fought like that? He'd not been able to touch Jessie for a good fucking week, and the little bitch had enjoyed teasing him.