A Submissive's Journey Pt. 01

This was just what I was looking for and I started stroking it harder.

My eyes flicked over the next few pictures. She kissed him and he felt her up and she bent down to kiss his chest. I turned another leaf.

There was a full-page picture of the girl, now down on one knee, her lips just covering the big hard purple helmet, tongue sticking out caressing the undercarriage. Her cheeks were sucked in and her eyes seemed to stare right through the camera at me with a glint of dirty glee.

The next page on the top seemed to be the same except, yes, she was pointing at the camera now as well. I looked hurriedly down to the bottom pane.

I was pounding my cock in a frenzy now. It wouldn't be long.

The last image still sticks in my head anytime I want to pull it up. She had pulled the cock out and had pointed it at the camera as if in an offering. Her finger now was curled towards her as if she was beckoning me.

The mind flashed, "Why don't you suck him off for me."

And I came. It was amazing. The words reverberated through my head and I shot load after load, eyes drawn not to the attractive puck girl, but it the rock hard penis. I was the one that was on my knees.

I knelt there panting for a few moments gathering myself and quickly cleaned up. Thankfully I hadn't got any on the magazine. The last thing I wanted to do is return it with the pages stuck together. I tried to forget exactly what had made me cum. I wasn't really into guys at all, or cock really. That was stupid. It was just something taboo or whatever and it did make me cum hard, so I guessed it was alright.

--
The next couple weeks I fell back into my old routine. There was a lot of studying to do with finals so I stayed pretty much to myself. Everything was the same except one thing. I couldn't concentrate for any length of time before this really horny, dirty feeling would come over me.

For a while I tried to just push it away and ignore it. My studies where in-depth so if I got into the material enough, I would get back on track, but before long I would hit a boring patch and my mind would wander. I took to studying in the library. The presence of all my fellow students helped keep me on track and then no.

I found that after a while it was more productive to just give into it. The first time I got really heated to the point I just couldn't take it any longer was during a long study session at the library. I had taken to sitting back by the stacks away from the distraction of the windows. The scenes of nature passing by would spark my mental lapses so I figured if I hid back here nothing would bother me and I could finish up.

One thing that my mind kept going back to on the first night was that I really had no idea who the guy who sat on the couch pleasuring himself was. I only really remembered that he was tall and didn't have any really distinguishing characteristics other than his nice, big dick of course.

I had kind of given up on trying to control my thoughts in that regard. At first I was shutting down my brain every time I thought something positive about the cock, but it was impossible to deny how I started to stiffen when I reflected for even a second on it.

It was that day, however, that I realized. I was LOOKING for him. Not consciously. I knew I would never really recognize him, but every time a tall guy would walk by the hairs on my neck would stand up or I would lick my lips or feel the need to shift myself in my jeans.

That day, a guy walked by and my mind just went, "That's him."

There is almost no chance that it was him but I had such a strong reaction that was just the culmination of all of the suppressed urges of the days past. I got rock hard. I grabbed my cock through my jeans and started to stroke it, looking desperately around to see if I was about to be found out, but no one was looking.

It took me less than a minute to cum and it was so strong that I moaned out loud. Kind of an "oh" that I hoped sounded like a realization more than me releasing my seed down my pant leg. I slipped my hand off quickly and sat very still, trying hard not to let my emotion show on my face.

Even without touching it any longer, my vein kept pumping and I could feel a huge wet spot gathering halfway down my thigh. I reached down and just brushed my fingers over the head, nearly gasping aloud again it was so sensitive.

My fingers were wet with my juice and I had a sudden urge to take a little taste. Something I had never done before. Had never wanted to do. Usually after I came I thought the whole ordeal was pretty gross and I just wanted to clean it up and get on with my life, but I was still horny, probably because I was sitting in a crowded library with cream in my jeans.

I decided then that if I was getting horny to just go jack off in the bathroom or back at my place and that would let me get back to concentrating, but it seemed like it was always back on my mind. I had thought of sex in the past, of course, but now I seemed ravenous. I was afraid that I was turning into a pervert.

My new schedule had me playing with my self literally morning, noon and night. Those were the three times something seemed to come up. The daytime ones were actually more like maintenance for me but in the evening I would lay on my bed and just let my mind wander in the dark.

I had taken to thinking of a certain couple of the girls from school that had seemed a little bossier. At first, I would be stroking thinking about how pretty their face and hair was or how nice they looked in a skirt but by the end they were always 'making me' jerk some guy off or kiss his cock and that would send me over the edge.

This particular evening my mind went to the conversation I had had with Bollman about the stores and how there was all kind of dirty mags and the booths you could jerk off to some lady. I had never even seen a place like that outside of the movies, but was aware of where to go in town. It was an easy bus ticket there and back. The idea once it got in there tossed around like a grain of sand, making it pretty much a foregone conclusion that I was going to head down and check one out.

--
It was an overcast, dreary day, the day I picked to head to the dirty shop. Beside me on the bus bench was an old lady with plastic wrapped over her hair and a younger black dude bebopping to some tunes over his headphones. I kept getting the feeling that I could just quit now. Go back to my dorm and forget the whole stupid idea.

I think in fact that I was about to do just that when the bus with the big white letters DOWNTOWN came around the corner. Even at the moment I almost left, but I didn't want them two people to feel I was strange for waiting all that time and not getting on the bus. When the doors closed behind me it was like a sentence. There was no turning back.

The ride wasn't terribly long, but it was a bunch of city people that made me uncomfortable. I was used to quiet. I was used to people that were just fine with you looking them in the eyes. I didn't know really how to act. Also, I couldn't shake this odd feeling that everyone who saw me knew that I was going downtown just so I could check out some sleazy bookstore.

The thought gave me a little feeling of shame, but it was titillating as well. I was just going to go in, mind my own business, check what the lady looked like and maybe buy myself one of those hardcore glossies. Then I was out of there and back on the bus. Back home with a little adventure no one needed to know about under my belt.

I could tell when I was in the right district. It wasn't nighttime, but with all the gray skies you could still see the neon lights glowing at the different shops. I got off at the stop and perhaps now some of my co-occupants pieced together what his college boy was doing down here. But oh well, let them think, it kind of turned me on anyways. Not that I looked any of them in the eyes.

The first shop I saw was the one I picked. It didn't even seem to have a name just glowing lights XXX and ADULT. I pulled on the heavy white door with the dingy gray curtain and entered.

There is a smell about these sorts of places that I can't really place. Well, maybe I can guess, but at that point I really didn't want to think about it.

I kind of hung in the doorway for a minute afraid to actually move in, but then I looked up at the guy behind the desk and the scowl on his face told me to "move it buddy."

The first racks were your more tame variety that you might find at the local newsstand with brown paper wrapped around the parts too salacious for young boys and older women to look at. Following those were the more hardcore ones that I supposed I would be getting. Oh wait; I would have to get back on the bus with a pretty obvious brown bag. Forget it. I would cross that bridge later.

The next part was they toys and they were kind of frightening to tell you the truth. I looked at awe at some of the sizes of the dildos and inspected some of the stranger fare that was available. Always being careful not too lingers too long on any one item, lest the other patrons perceive some heightened interest in that particular item. I was trying to play sightseer not customer. A little porn was fine, but I wasn't going to get beads. Eww.

I had almost made the circuit of the relatively small shop when I got to the doorway to the back section. Again I kind of poked my nose in and then moved on past in a hurry to a rack of videos.

Now I had happened to go around this particular establishment in a clockwise direction, meeting one after the other the particular goods for sale as I described them. Had I instead gone counter-clockwise I would have first off, passed the clerk, which was the main reason I didn't go that way, then gone past all of the popular video titles, followed by some lamer ones, then weird ones and ended up on this side of the doorway.

So when I got to the rack, instead of the expected big boob girl sucking voraciously on a big dong I saw and younger man, a boy almost hairless and kneeling looking up at a heavily muscled man. The boy had a simply shameful look on his face; he looked to be blushing, and a big dong in his mouth.

I had never seen anything like that before. Everything that was available to me was straight for the good reason that no one would have anything like this laying around or people would think that they were into it.

Now in keeping with my policy of not lingering on anything that might incriminate me I should have quickly dodged this section and moved to the more socially acceptable to me at least ladies with a dong in their mouth section, but I simply could not move.

He was young and small and thin like me so I related to him immediately. The tough guy above him had his cock in my mouth. I became acutely aware that I was staring at the video and had even picked it up to look more closely at it. I also knew that by now I was making a serious tent in my pants. There was a need to get out of sight and quickly.

The only place left to go for me at that point was into the back area. I kept my head down and walked down the row of booths to the left. The first few had doors on them with red light bulbs on top. The lights were on so I supposed that meant they were occupied. The next couple booths were open and I could see a screen inside, so I figured that those were movies booths like Bollman had described.

All of the sudden I got this really creepy feeling that Bollman was there and would see me and that I just had to head out of there now so I turned quickly back to the doorway, almost knocking over a man that was coming down the hall towards me.

I couldn't make him out in the dark really, but it was obvious he was rather big and had a sort of blue-collar look to him like he worked construction of something. I had bumped into him touching his chest with my palm when I turned.

Pulling my arm quickly away, I backed up against the sidewall of the corridor. There was barely enough room for two people to pass. He stopped surveyed me up and down for a second, gave me a little knowing smirk and walked of down the hall entering the next booth down.

The shock of meeting someone so suddenly after being kind of alone in my little world jarred me somewhat to reality. I wanted to see if there was one of those booths with the girl I told myself. It would be stupid to leave now, plus the next bus wouldn't be back around for nearly an hour anyways I straightened myself up, took a deep breath and walked down toward the end of the hall.

There we're only three booths left. The one the man had walked in still didn't have the door shut yet, which I wondered about, but the two after his booth looked to be a little bit bigger and I wanted to check them out so I stepped off down the hall past his booth.

These last booths didn't seem to be girl booths either. They were larger and in addition to having a screen they had a little bench that you could sit on. There was always the other side and if nothing down that way I would probably just jump in a booth and check out a video.

Turning to go back, I noticed that the light was on over the booth the blue-collar man had entered, but as I got close to where you would enter, it was apparent that the door wasn't actually shut. Curiosity it seems got the best of me at that moment. I think I told myself that maybe I would catch a peek of what was on the screen. As it turned out the screen was the last thing that caught my eye.

The movie was on giving off a faint light, but the man was standing in front of the screen thus blocking most of the direct illumination. He was standing with his pants around his ankles, facing not towards the moaning girl on the film, but facing the hallway and therefore, me. His hand was on his cock, which was semi hard and he was slowly stroking it.

We just stood there like that for a few seconds, me staring at his crotch and then slowly raising my head our eyes met. I instinctively bit my lip. It was easy to see it was clear to him that he was the superior specimen of man, and that he could take what he wanted. So he did.

While I paused a second the man simply reached out with his right hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me towards him into the booth. I started to protest but, before I could get very far he put his left hand on top of my head and pushed down. Now I could easily have resisted if I wanted to, but the wasn't time for it to even register. One second it seems I was standing in the hallway the next I was squatting down in front of the man with his cock bobbing up and down just six inches from my face.

Then he spoke in a soft stern voice.

"Kneel."

It was a request, but at the same time it wasn't, but the force of his words acted as if the synapses of my brain had fired on their own. First my one knee and then the other touched the ground.

I knew at that moment that any chance of me becoming a real man had passed as he moved his right hand to my head as well and pulled my lips ever slowly to his cock.

"You do this before boy?" The same soft-stern voice commanded my answer.

"No." my voice was weak and of a higher timber than I ever remember it being before.

The voice came back again. "No teeth."

It was only seconds until my first taste of man, but I had so many thoughts flash through my mind. The man jerking to the television, the girl sucking a cock with a devilish knowing look in her eye, even Bollman saying "have fun." The boy on his knees was me

The smell of his manhood was so strong now that I was so close. I looked down cross-eyed at the tip of his penis as he pulled forward and my lips touched for the first time the sweet meat of man. They parted naturally as if his cock was docking at a station made just for that purpose.

He slipped the dick in my mouth, the fleshy head, and then it got hard. He just kept pushing forward feeding me little bit by bit. I as very conscious of his warning of no teeth and was being very careful just holding my head still and taking his penetration.

Suddenly, I realized I didn't have enough mouth for him as I could feel it pushing halfway down my tongue and I could still clearly see a few more inches of shaft. He didn't stop though and kept slowly pressing deeper into my cavity

As the head reached the back and started to pass into my throat, a sense of panic washed over me and I raised my hands to his thighs with the intention of pushing back. He seemed to have anticipated this and quickly said.

"Hands at your sides."

I obeyed, still fearful of what was to come, but he was almost gentle in his approach. He pushed it back into my throat and I involuntarily gagged. My hands came up for a second, but I stopped them and flapping them in a kind of sissified way placed them back at my sides. His soft steady firmness made me want to behave for him and take his cock the way he wanted it.

I kept gagging form time to time but his cock in my throat prevented anything from coming up. Before long my nose was buried in his jet-black pubes.

"You see, boy, every little fag like you can deep throat, you just need discipline."

My mind rebelled a little at being called a faggot, but then I was here on my knees with a man's cock buried hilt deep in my throat.

"When a man asks you if you can deep throat, you can say, Yes. Now say it boy."

I hesitated a second and then understanding tried to say yes but only an odd mumble came out.

He pushed back on my head releasing his beast from my throat, pulling it the whole way out then moved his hands from my head, resting them on his hips.

The cock bobbed in front of me as if nodding in approval, soaking wet with saliva. One long drip hung off the tip in a string about 4 inches long.

He waited. Willing to have taken the first step, but now it was clear that it was my choice completely. If I stayed there on my knees and took his dick in my mouth of my own accord and sucked him with my energy I was accepting my role as cocksucker.

The wait wasn't that long. Even though the penetration of my throat had been stressful, already it felt as though something were missing. It seemed right, like I was made for this. My small stature, the way I was mesmerized by the man's penis while he jacked off, the simple fact that this man above me had pegged me instantly as someone who would willingly just kneel with the slightest of encouragement. All of these things plus the peculiar taste that was in my mouth that I couldn't quite place, mildly salty, slippery and viscous all at once. I felt it on my tongue and moved it to my lips and blew a little bubble.

Then leaning my head forward took on the fate of one who kneels and services the stronger members of his kind. The cockhead intrigued me it was so soft and supple. The slightest touch here or flick of a tongue there, or quick suck with my lips made the whole of the shaft jump with excitement.

I made kind of a cup with my lips and made soft little sucks in rhythm on the tip and then I dove deeper taking half his length at once and then back again. The sensation of fullness in my mouth just seemed right to me and I got another little taste. I wasn't quite sure if he was cumming yet actually. It didn't take me that long sometimes and maybe he was worked up doing it here in public with the...

Oh my, the door was still open.

He waited, letting me decide for myself, knowing what the foregone conclusion was to be.

I turned back around and this time I started sucking in earnest. Taking him about half down until he felt like he was almost in my throat and then pulling back to where just his cock head was in my mouth. I didn't seem to need training, but I wasn't sure if I was doing a good job.

I kept a rhythm watching the pubic hair move back and forth towards my nose. The shaft, which previously had seemed pretty solid, now became incredibly hard. The ridges along the sides worked my lips like little road bumps. I could feel his cock literally jerking up and down in my mouth.