A Vision of Love

"You have to listen to your mom, okay? When she tells you to hold onto the swing properly, you need to do it, alright?"

Thomas nodded back at me before continuing on like nothing had happened. I went back over and sat down with Brittany.

"You're such a good dad to them, you know that."

"We're both doing the best we can. I just hope to watch them grow up to be good people too."

"Same. I can't believe Brianna will start school in a few weeks, and Tommy will be in Pre-K in a years' time. They're growing up so quick."

"And we're getting old way to quick, I'm thirty already. You might need to trade me in on a newer model soon."

"No, I'm happy with my current model."

"But you've been test driving the newer models every now and then though, right?"

"Sure, that doesn't mean I'll trade mine in though."

I nodded at Brittany, this was as good as a confirmation as I wanted to the fact that she wasn't looking to replace me.

"Besides, I know you've been test driving a few yourself Billy. Any of them catch your fancy?"

"No, they don't compare with my current one. I just wish I got to drive it again, it's been in the shop for a while now."

"Maybe one day it might be ready for you to drive again. Not yet though, it's still needing some work done."

I nodded back, our thinly veiled metaphors were as close as we've been to discussing our current predicament. It's good to have an understanding with her now at least.

"You're not upset Billy?"

"I try not to be. How about you?"

"Sometimes, but it passes."

I called the kids over so they could eat their lunch, it was a good day being with my family, out having fun together. Thankfully, days like today were still common for us, and I wanted to keep it that way.

Later that night I again found myself sitting in the lounge room drinking a scotch, contemplating my relationship with my wife. Brittany had already gone to her room to sleep, leaving me alone to slowly nurse my drink.

We pretty much admitted to each other today that we were both having affairs but that neither of us intended to leave our marriage. I was happy about that, although I'd still prefer that neither of us needed relationships outside of our own. But it was better than the alternative, which was divorce.

On Wednesday night when I got home, Brittany asked if I could mind the kids again as she wanted to go out. While she didn't use the word 'date', I felt like it was clearly implied.

I'm not sure how I feel about sitting at home minding the kids while she goes out to have her fun, I had always had my dalliances during the day, where it wouldn't be obvious to Brittany of what I was doing. I wondered if after our conversation on the weekend that perhaps the secrecy veil had been lifted, that we could both be a bit more honest about what was going on. It definitely seemed that Brittany was less concerned now to be hiding what she was doing.

I was still up when Brittany got home just after midnight, I was sitting on my bed reading a book as I heard her come up the stairs and go into the bathroom. Moments later I heard her bedroom door close as she went to bed.

Shortly after I was ready for sleep myself but went to the toilet for a piss first. While in the bathroom I couldn't help but notice Brittany's dress she wore out sitting on top of the hamper. I lifted her dress to smell it, her perfume was the only scent I could smell. As I went to return her dress, I spotted her panties that were laying underneath them. They looked damp, very damp. It was clear to me that Brittany had just returned home from having sex. This wasn't surprising, I knew what she was doing when she left earlier tonight. It's just that I was still trying to get used to how open about it Brittany was becoming. I went back to my bedroom and turned the lights out for the night.

Now that I was no longer seeing Sara, I figured I'd better find someone else to enjoy my time with. Sitting at home watching Brittany go out to get fucked wasn't my idea of a happy home life.

On Friday I had a meeting with a client cancelled, it was almost lunch time and I was just a few blocks from home. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed that Brittany's car was parked there too, maybe she was home for lunch as well. I walked into the house from the garage, stopping in the kitchen to get a glass of water. I quickly realized that Brittany wasn't downstairs, maybe she was feeling ill and had come home to rest.

I went to the fridge, trying to decide what I could make for lunch when I heard a distinctive groan, one that I had heard from Brittany many times when we used to have sex together. Was she masturbating upstairs? Then the next thought entered my mind, was she fucking someone upstairs? Really? Surely, she wouldn't be bringing someone into our home to fuck. That's something I'd never done over the last three years, it never crossed my mind to bring any of my women into our home.

I found myself slowly walking up the stairs, with the sounds of lovemaking growing louder. She definitely wasn't masturbating, the sound of her bed straining under the rhythmic movement was a clear sign of that. As I turned to walk down the hallway towards her bedroom, I could see that her door was wide open. As I neared the door I could see the wall on one side of the room, one that contained a large mirror.

What was I doing? I knew she was fucking someone, what was I going to do? Go in there to stop them? To say something to Brittany or to confront her lover? If I took another step or two, I'd be able to see them fucking in the mirror, do I really want to see this?

As if driven by impulse alone I took another step forward as they came into view on her large mirror on the wall. Brittany was laying on her back, her legs up in the air while her lover was in between them, fucking her hard. Brittany was kissing him in between her own joyful screams, her eyes were closed for the most part.

I stood there transfixed, watching them fucking each other with animalistic passion, I looked down to see Brittany's hands on his ass, willing him to fuck her even deeper and harder. As I slowly moved my gaze back up to see her breasts undulating with every thrust, then back up to her face, she was staring at me via the mirror.

My heart almost stopped as our gaze connected, there was an expression of confusion on her face, she was probably trying to absorb the moment as much as I was. Then after we had held our gaze for about twenty seconds, she closed her eyes for a moment as she began to scream again, this time I'm sure she was cumming. A few moments later she opened her eyes again, again staring into mine. I was standing still, unsure how to react to what I was seeing, but I couldn't look away either, I kept looking into my wife's eyes as she was still getting fucked by her lover.

She then raised his head to kiss him again, hard and passionately for a good thirty seconds while he continued to pound into her. She then moved his head back to the other side of her face as she again caught my gaze with hers.

"Keep fucking me Ricky, nice and hard. My god you feel so good."

Brittany kept my stare as she encouraged her lover on.

"I want you to make me cum again baby, keep making me cum."

This seemed to spur her lover on more, he was fucking Brittany even harder now, the bed was banging up against the wall, their grunts and heavy breathing could be clearly heard. All the while Brittany kept staring into my eyes, her expression was that of pure passion, not anger or happiness, it just seemed like she was totally caught up in the moment.

"My god I'm cumming Ricky, don't stop, don't stop."

Brittany closed her eyes and let out a passionate scream that I'm sure the whole neighborhood could hear, I wondered how much of that was for me. As she came down from her orgasm she again looked into my eyes.

"Cum in me baby, I want you to cum inside me."

Only moments later I could see her lover begin to tense up as he began to cum inside my wife. She wrapped her legs tightly around his back, holding him in, all the while keeping eye contact with me. Her eyes were somehow softer now, her gaze was no longer of passion, but more of a pleading look, like she was hoping that I wasn't upset with what I'd just seen.

I stepped back from the door, and quietly made my way down the stairs and out of the house. I can't remember driving back to our site in West Dallas, my mind was foggy to say the least. How do I speak with Brittany after this? What do I say? I didn't really understand how I felt about what I had just witnessed, let alone how I could possibly express that to her.

I tried my best to focus back on work for the rest of the day, it wasn't easy that's for sure. Even Kevin commented on my seemingly absent mindedness this afternoon, if only he knew what vision was swirling around in my head.

I got home after 7pm, I had stopped at a bar for one or two on the way. It was a delaying tactic on my part, trying to put off any conversation with Brittany. I was thankful that it was her week to be picking up the kids.

As I entered the house, Brianna sort me out asking me questions about something she had just seen on TV, I tried my best to answer her as I made my way into the lounge room being dragged in there by my daughter. Brittany was laying on the couch, with little Tommy asleep in her embrace.

As I made eye contact with her, we both looked at each other for a few moments before Brianna forced my gaze away. I sat down on the floor with my daughter watching the animal documentary that was on the TV, answering her many questions along the way. When it was over, I told Brianna it was time for bed, to go brush her teeth and that we would be in there shortly to say goodnight.

I went over to Brittany and picked up Thomas from her embrace, he didn't even stir as I carried him upstairs to his bed. After saying goodnight to Brianna, I returned downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. I was starving, having missed out on lunch when I was home earlier today.

"Your dinner is in the oven, it should still be hot enough." As Brittany stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Thanks." As I grabbed a cloth so I could take the hot plate out, placing my dinner on the kitchen table.

"Would you like a scotch with that?"

"No thanks, I'm all good tonight."

Brittany stood there in the doorway for a good minute while I began to eat my meal, as if waiting for me to discuss what had happened at lunch time. I was more than a little confused about everything that happened, I didn't know how to even begin talking about it with her.

Eventually she stepped over to where I was sitting and rested her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm going upstairs to read. Good night, Billy."

"Good night."

As Brittany then went upstairs to her bedroom, I was left thinking about all the things I could've said, that I wanted to say, but there were way too many thoughts running through my head.

The most worrying thoughts were about Brittany bringing her lover into our home, being so open about going out to meet with him or to fuck him here. It would be so easy for her to now ask me to leave, to have him replace me. The fear of being separated from my family was my greatest concern.

The most confusing thoughts I had wasn't about watching her enjoying herself having sex, but that we stared into each other's eyes while she was fucking him. That it seemed to help her to enjoy it more. It's almost like she took it as a sign of acceptance or approval, when really it was just me trying to understand why she was doing it, to get some sense of how she felt seeing me watching her fuck her lover in our own home.

This whole encounter left me feeling more than a little emasculated, something I wasn't used to feeling, ever. What I couldn't understand is if she was doing it on purpose, or was it just that I witnessed something I wasn't meant to see?

I found it hard getting to sleep that night, it was hard trying to get my brain to quieten enough so that I could rest. I awoke in the morning with little Tommy jumping on my bed, telling me to get up.

Regardless of what I saw yesterday, life rolls on. We all went grocery shopping later that morning, anyone who has dragged a five and three-year old through a grocery store will know the constant hassle of trying to stop them from doing bad things, like their sole purpose is to test your resilience and patience.

For lunch we again took the kids to the park, letting them play while Brittany and I sat on the bench watching them. We still hadn't discussed yesterday's events, it was like we were both trying to pretend it didn't happen, at least I was. It would most likely create friction between us if I told her of my true concerns.

Later that afternoon Brittany again asked me to mind the kids while she went off to the movies with a friend. It seemed that she was seeing her 'friend' probably three times a week now at least. It's almost like she's single and this guy is her regular boyfriend. I looked up into Brittany's eyes, I'm sure she could read the discomfort I felt by her request.

"It's just the movies, Billy. Nothing more."

I kept her gaze, then slowly nodded 'yes'. I wasn't sure what else I could do at this point. It's not like she would stop seeing him if I'd said 'no', or that I wouldn't be here to watch over the kids anyway.

The following week began a bit hectic and stressful with my work, we had three jobs going which wasn't unusual for us, but two of them now required major alterations, which meant getting guys back on site who had already completed their work. Just the amount of coordinating resources and contractors to make sure it ran smoothly was where the stress was.

By Wednesday afternoon I got a text from Brittany again asking me to look after the kids tonight as she's got a date. This was the first time she actually used the word 'date'. It was my week to be picking up the kids from daycare anyway, so I replied with 'okay'.

Again, she didn't get in until around midnight, and just as with last week, she went straight to the bathroom before going to bed.

Her Saturday nights at the movies and Wednesday night fuck sessions seemed to be becoming a routine for her and her 'boyfriend'. I wasn't even sure what to call this guy. It made me wonder if the Friday lunchtime session was a routine for them also.

So, with much of the hectic week behind me and things getting back to normal on the job sites, it meant that I could go to our local sports bar for a Friday lunchtime meal and a few beers. And I felt that I needed them. I was going to call Kevin to see if he wanted to tag along, but for some reason I found myself turning into my street before I had placed the call. It's like I was subconsciously wanting to check in on my wife once again.

And once again, her car was in the driveway. This time another car was parked in my spot, her boyfriend must be with her once more. I parked out on the street, sitting there for a couple of minutes trying to decide if I should go in or not. I knew what I would most likely find in there, did I need to know that they were fucking once more? Did I need to see them, again?

I didn't want to drive away, it was like I had something inside of me wanting to know, wanting to see with my own eyes of what my wife was doing. I entered the house through the garage, stopping in the kitchen to see if I could hear anything. There it was, that familiar sound of the bed moving, of Brittany's groans.

I found myself walking towards her open door once again, pausing for a second to listen to their lovemaking before taking that last step to where I could see the bed from Brittany's mirror. She was being fucked in a doggie position, I could only see the top half of her body and none of his, he was obviously standing at the end of the bed, fucking her.

This time I wasn't as confused by what I saw, not as many emotions or bewilderment at what was going on in front of me. This time my mind was more than prepared for what I was seeing. I stood there, watching Brittany, listening to her. There was something extremely erotic about it, being able to watch the woman you love enjoying sex, not as a participant, but simply as a voyeur.

After a few minutes, Brittany moved further up the bed and rolled over onto her back, with her legs spread inviting him in. As he moved up between her thighs and entered her, I again looked up to Brittany's face, and again she was staring back at me. A small smile came across her face, not a sexy or snarky type of smile, just one of happiness that I had seen from her many times before. Was she happy that I am here to watch her? Was she hoping that I would be here?

Her boyfriend began to resume his rhythm, fucking her well as she wrapped both her arms and legs around his body. She pulled his head up to kiss him for a few seconds before pulling his head back down to her shoulder, while returning her gaze back to me.

"That's it Ricky, show me how well you fuck me baby, give me that lovely cock."

It was strangely erotic hearing her say that as she was staring directly at me, only occasionally closing her eyes when he was hitting the right spots. We kept staring at each other for the next few minutes, as Brittany would occasionally give her lover some encouraging words, although I was starting to wonder if they were meant for him, or for me.

He then raised her legs up, pinning them back as he started to really pound into my wife.

"Oh my god yes Ricky, fuck me hard, you're fucking me so good right now, please don't stop."

She was still staring into my eyes as she spoke those words, I could tell she was getting close to her own climax.

"Do you like that baby? Do you like it when I fuck you hard?"

"Yes baby, don't stop Ricky, I'm going to cum."

"Take my cock, you like how it feels inside you, don't you baby?"

I watched as Brittany's eyes closed, her moth was wide open as her orgasm hit, letting out a loud scream as she began to shudder under its impact. Fuck it was hot to see her like that.

He kept fucking her though as her orgasm resided, she slowly opened her eyes to again stare into mine. Once again that smile reappeared on her face.

"Wow, that was so good. That was one of the best yet."

He released her legs that were pinned back so that she could again wrap them around his body as he continued to fuck her. She maintained her gaze with mine, it's like we were connected in this moment, neither of us wanting to look away.

"I'm going to make you cum again before I'm done with you."

"Go on baby, keep fucking me, make me cum again on your lovely cock."

"You love my cock don't you baby, do you like it better than your husband's?"

Brittany didn't respond to him, she was still staring into my eyes.

"Do you like it better? Tell me baby."

"Keep fucking me Ricky, I want you to fill me up baby, cum in me."

"Do you like my cock better? Do I fuck you better baby? Tell me."

Her eyes were pleading with mine now, it looked like she didn't want to respond to him. I'm not sure whether it was to not hurt my feelings or to not hurt his. I nodded to her, as if it to say to her to just say what he wants to hear.

"Yes baby, you're better. I love your cock, I love how you fuck me with it. Cum for me Ricky, fill me up."

With that admission she pushed him over the edge, cumming deep inside of my wife. My wife, still staring into my eyes, mouthed the word 'Sorry' to me silently. I nodded back to her, before turning to walk away.

I drove to the sports bar and ordered a beer while checking over the menu when my phone rang, it was Brittany.

"Hey."

"Hi Billy. Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"I mean in person. Where are you?"

"I'm at our regular bar, the sports bar."

"Are you going to have lunch?"