Aakaash Ganga

"Of course I have a whale of a time with you around, Jams, but your HR pals are not my idea of fun," I would exclaim.

"You know what? You are going to end up nerdy and stiff like our genius boss. Let your hair down man," she would retort. I genuinely liked Jamuna and had a lot of respect for her abilities.

Then one day, she pulled off a stunt that would change my life forever.

On a Friday evening, as I rode in on my bike, I saw a lovely graceful couple getting into their car that was parked in our driveway. Dad and Mom were seeing them off and Dad introduced me to them. I took off my helmet and greeted them respectfully, but I did not pay attention to their names when Dad mentioned them. They drove off, I went in, had a shower and then sat down at the dining table for a cup of coffee.

Mom had this look on her face that I knew spelt trouble. That same old topic was going to come up. That I had a well-paying job, and some random family was looking for a groom for their beautiful and accomplished daughter, that they had sent in the girl's photograph, resume and horoscope..., the typical process of an arranged marriage that still seems to be the norm in India.

I had my standard set of responses for this, but a sixth sense told me that today, I was going to be cornered.

This time, Mom and Dad dispensed with the preamble, like the proposal is from a well known and respected family, that the girl is the only daughter, she has a degree, blah blah, blah and came straight to the point.

"Take a look at the photograph, Aakaash, the girl is beautiful and she is a brilliant software engineer like you," she said, as she slid an envelope towards me. Then she added, "I have fallen in love with her."

"Well, then you marry her, Mom, and then wait till I fall in love with someone," I responded with a grin.

"Take a look, my son, I think you will say, 'yes' to this one," Dad intervened gently.

Pretty exasperated, and irritated by all this, I pulled out the photo from the envelope, it came out upside down and even as I flipped it around, my eyes popped out.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed, even as I realised Mom and Dad were across the table and I am normally careful with my language in their presence.

"Her name is Jamuna, such a beautiful name," Mom whispered, and from the tender look in her eyes, I realised she was already dreaming of this woman as her daughter-in-law.

"You may be knowing her, she works in your organisation," Dad added.

"This is crazy Dad," I said, "of course I know her and know her well, she is my closest team-mate."

"Good!" Mom exclaimed, "You shouldn't have any problems becoming mates for life."

"One moment, Dad, Mom, who brought this proposal to you?"

"Her parents, they were the ones who were leaving when you came in," Dad said.

"How did they get our address?"

"I didn't ask them, they called up, introduced themselves, said they wanted to meet us and discuss this alliance, and came over at the time I requested them to."

"Why are you in this investigation mode?" questioned Mom. "You know the girl, so think about it, call her, talk to her and work things out. Her parents told us a lot of things about her, she seems to have innumerable skills, and I would love to have her as my daughter-in-law."

I needed to handle this differently, and I was confused.

"We have the weekend coming up, let me talk to Jamuna on Monday, I need to think this through, and I am not making any promises or commitments now." I walked off to my room and when I entered it, I found I still had Jamuna's photograph in my hand.

I flopped on my bed and held the photo in front of me. I had to admit that while I had never looked at her sexually before, she indeed looked beautiful.

"You have a lot of explaining to do on Monday, Jams," I said to her photograph. Then, I don't know what came over me, I kissed those beautiful pouty lips in the picture.

Jamuna wasn't there when I reached our workplace. After an hour, when she still hadn't turned up, I walked into the boss' cabin.

"Any idea where Jamuna is, boss?" I asked.

"She called me, said she had some personal work to attend to and will be here at lunchtime," he replied, without taking his eyes off his computer screen.

I tried to do some work, but I wasn't able to concentrate. At lunchtime, I sat all alone in the cafeteria, my eyes were periodically scanning the entrance. That stupid HR gang was seated a couple of tables away to my left and causing a cacophony with their idle chatter and stupid laughter.

Jamuna entered the cafeteria. I was straight in her line of sight, and she cheerfully waved to me and went straight to join her HR friends. That had me seething. Keeping my calm, I walked back slowly to my workstation. About 30 minutes later, I saw Jamuna ease herself into her seat, her workstation was a few feet away from mine.

My phone tinkled, there was a message from her.

"There is smoke coming out of your ears, you will set off the fire alarms if you don't cool down soon enough, lol"

"We need to talk," I replied.

"Only talk? Are you sure?"

I did not reply. After a while, another message came in.

"Coffee shop across the street, 20 minutes after quitting time. But if you don't smile at me, I am walking out."

I sent back a big grinning smiley.

"What's going on. Jams?" I asked her as we took our seats in the coffee shop.

"What's going on?"

"Jams, your parents met mine with a marriage proposal."

"Yeah, I asked them to," she responded with a very straight face.

"How did you get my address?"

"What is more important, the marriage proposal or how I got your coordinates? If you must know, I do have these lovely friends at HR whom you can't stand." She was grinning now.

I remained silent.

"Okay, Aakaash, I will be brief and to the point. I don't want to force anything on you, but I do know a few things. One, you have no girlfriends, never had any. Two, I love you and I want to marry you. Three, if you can make up your mind and say, 'yes,' I promise you, I will do everything I can to make you happy."

"Jamuna, I have never seen you so serious, and if you love me, why didn't you tell me straight away, why take this parents' route?"

"The way I saw it, if I declared my love for you directly, being the nerd that you are, you would have tucked your head inside your shell like a tortoise. But if our parents met and approved at the family level, your parents would have done more of the convincing."

"Jamuna, system engineer par excellence, you are stupid."

"Well, if you don't like me, say it to my face, don't call me stupid."

"You are stupid. Both of us know we are best friends at work even though you spend more time with those jokers at HR. If you had just hinted that you wanted to take things to another level, I would have responded. You fucking well know that I genuinely like you and respect you."

"But you don't love me?"

"Between, Friday evening and this morning, I must have kissed your photograph a few hundred times. What does that mean to you?"

"Aakaash, you are stupid," she responded with a huge smile. Then she grabbed my hand.

"Come with me,"she said as she dragged me through the door that leads to the back of the coffee shop, the sort of 'smoking lounge' where the coffee shop customers hop over for a few quick puffs. There was no one around.

"Everyone says I look a lot better than my photographs."

"You do, and though this is the least romantic and stinkiest of all places, what the fuck..." and I pulled her to me and kissed her.

It was obvious that for both of us, this was our first kiss ever, but instincts always help you out when needed. When our tongues touched, there was a crackle of electricity, or so we felt, and we held each other tighter and tighter, till we were gasping.

"Jamuna, I just want you to know, this is real stuff, I am not trying to take advantage of your feelings. When I go back home, I am asking my parents to talk to yours and fix up the wedding as soon as possible. Meanwhile, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow evening?"

"You know, something? You are right. I am stupid and you are not a nerd."

"Now Jamuna, if we can get back to our coffee, I can commence my courtship song and dance routine to woo the most beautiful woman I know."

"I love you Aakaash, and you just made me cry."

I met Jamuna's parents when I went to pick her up for our date the next evening. They invited me in, asked me if I would like to have something to eat or drink.

"Jamuna is wearing her saree, she will take her own sweet time over it till every pleat is perfectly in place, so have some fresh fruit juice at least," her mother offered.

While we waited, her parents asked me a few questions, politely, not too much of probing, and I really started to like them.

Jamuna came down and she just took my breath away. She looked so gorgeous in her blue-green silk saree, with matching heels and a simple hairdo. I gave her the huge bouquet of flowers that I had brought for her, she smiled, shyly.

"Run along, both of you, I will take care of the flowers," her mother said.

"I will drop her home by 11, Uncle, Auntie," I said. They beamed, I had assured them that their daughter was in safe hands.

"Will you dance with me, Jamuna?" I asked her when we were seated in the restaurant.

"I can't dance, can you?" she countered.

I held out my hand. "Come with me, Jamuna, let me teach you the dance of the nerds."

As we swayed to the music, I held her tight to me, so that she would not stumble, but more because she was so sensuous and I was feeling very possessive about her.

"I really am an idiot, I wish I had just let you court me your way. He who I thought was a nerd is a die-hard romantic."

"You love me, I love you, nothing else matters, I said and I kissed her softly."

"Oh god! I thought you will never say it."

"Say what, Jamuna?"

"Those three magic words. 'I love you.' I have been dying to hear it."

"Didn't I tell you yesterday?"

"No, you didn't."

"So you were right all along, I am a nerd."

"Nerd or romantic, Aakaash, you are mine. Now let us get our dinner, I am hungry."

I stopped the car a kilometre or so before her place, turning into a street away from the main road. We kissed and kissed till it was nearing curfew time.

"I need to drop you back before 11, Jamuna."

"We still have 20 minutes."

"Jamuna darling, if I drop you before 11, your parents will be impressed. Then you can invite me in and talk to me for a while in your balcony, so we get an additional 30 minutes together."

"You are a devious devil, Aakaash, and I am wondering how my Dad's Devil Detection Device didn't lock on to you!"

"We nerds have stealth technology."

Her door opened as we neared it and I stopped in my tracks and just stared, shell shocked. I looked at what seemed to be an apparition before my eyes, then looked at Jamuna, then again at the exquisite woman at the door.

"Welcome home, my sweet budgerigars, she said, looking at us."

I found my voice, and I looked at Jamuna.

"You told me you have an older sister, Jamuna, but you didn't tell me she is as beautiful as you."

"The name is 'Ganga,' and I am exactly 41 minutes older than my younger twin," she exclaimed. Even her voice sounded exactly like Jamuna's.

"Hey, you on some kind of a festival offer? The buy one, get one free kind?" I joked.

"Jamuna, this nerd of yours is a flirt, how could you make such an error of judgement?"

She turned to me. "Okay brother-in-law to be, sorry I couldn't meet you earlier this evening, but you are family now, so you get a big hug." Then she hugged me.

By then the parents came out. "My little sis, show him around our home, don't forget to show him your untidy room, so that he knows what to expect in the future." She winked at both of us. She was having a blast.

"Your room is lovely, Jamuna, and Ganga is awesome, that was a cool way of giving us some privacy," I said, as I took her in my arms and kissed her. We fell on the bed, I stroked her face and kissed her eyelids. My hands strayed to her rather large breasts, and she let out a small moan as I grasped one gently.

"You are a very tender nerd, my romantic Aakaash," she whispered.

Driving back home, there was one question that was bothering me. "How will I be able to keep my hands off my beloved while at work?"

Well, it wasn't all that difficult. When you are in a work environment, and you love your work, you hardly get time to think of other things. Jamuna made it easier. She told one of her HR friends that we are soon to be engaged, and the news hit the office grapevine. So no tongues were wagging nor idle gossip circulating about us. Now when the HR guys used to join in when we were at the cafeteria, they didn't seem such a bad crowd at all. I guess when you are in love, everything suddenly turns rosy.

A fortnight later, we were engaged in a simple cosy ceremony, with just our families and a few close friends in attendance. The wedding was to be a couple of months later.

Jamuna and I planned our future together. Both of us were just 22. We wanted to work, save up a lot of money, join some courses and get masters degrees while working, make a career for ourselves, travel during our vacations. We had many dreams. We wanted to delay having children, though both of us wanted them. We were in our own paradise.

We had to beta test the applications we had developed at our client's premises. Their main servers were at their head-office, in another location. It is not that Jamuna and I had not travelled together to out locations before. We used to stay in separate rooms, meet up for breakfast, work late into the evening, grab some dinner and retire to our rooms.

But this time, though we had checked in to different rooms, the inevitable happened. We ended up in her room, on her bed, where we tenderly lost our virginity to each other. We were careless in our passion that night. We did not have a condom, we wanted nothing between us during our first time, and Jamuna probably miscalculated her safe period. Though we used protection for the rest of the three nights we spent together, 4 weeks before our wedding, Jamuna was pregnant.

I assured Jamuna that I was solidly behind her.

"The baby is ours, Jamuna, but biologically, it is you who have to carry it to term, so whatever you decide will hold," I said.

Jamuna was ecstatic that we were going to have a baby, and though the parents were a bit upset that we had been hasty, the families stood by us. And anyway, we were getting married in a few weeks.

Our wedding was a grand affair, we and the guests had a lot of fun, and we spent an exciting week honeymooning at a beach resort. We shifted in with my parents who doted on her, and life was blissful.

Then at the happiest moment of our lives, disaster struck.

Jamuna's pregnancy was progressing beautifully, the best doctors in the city were monitoring her, there were no complications, and none were envisaged as the date of delivery neared. Then one day, early morning, Jamuna's labour pains began, and I drove her to the hospital. I informed Ganga, and soon the rest of the family were waiting outside the delivery room. I was of course with her when she delivered and at 8 in the morning, we had our beautiful baby girl.

In a while, a nurse took the baby out to show her to the rest of the family, and then Jamuna was wheeled into her room. She was tired but she was very cheerful. Soon the baby was at her breast.

"Ouch, she seems to be a hungry kid," Jamuna exclaimed as the baby gnawed at her breast.

"Her stomach is no bigger than a large-sized marble, Jamuna, and she is just getting some fluid called colostrum, that has some great antibiotic properties that shield babies from infections. Your milk will flow from tomorrow," Ganga, who was studying for her Masters in Biology, said.

Then she took the baby from Jamuna. "Oh, my sweet baby," she cooed, "you are so gorgeous, so loveable, I am going to call you 'Manjula.' Do you know that your namemeans 'beautiful,'my darling?"

"Your 'Periamma' has already decided on your name," my mother said gleefully, using the typical Tamil word for an aunt who happens to be the elder sister of the mother. The word literally means, 'elder mother' and is used in a similar form in multiple Indian languages. Family ties and bonds are very strong amongst Indians, and there is a specific identifier for every relative in Indian languages, not just a generic 'aunt' or 'uncle' like in most western cultures.

"Yes, it is a beautiful name, we love it," she continued. Everyone smiled and nodded, Manjula opened her eyes for a few seconds, as if acknowledging that she has understood all this, then went right back to sleep.

"Carry her, Aakaash," Ganga said.

"I already did, in the delivery room, and I am quite willing to hold her again," I said as she delicately handed over the baby from me.

We took turns holding the baby, then had our lunch in the hospital cafeteria, and by the evening, a lot of Jamuna's colleagues and friends turned up to see her and the baby.

Manjula was two days old, Jamuna and she were bonding very well. She was a hungry child, or so I thought, as she was feeding every four hours or so, until Ganga told me that she is just being a very normal baby.

We were expecting to bring Jamuna and the baby home the next day when Jamuna complained of a severe headache, an impairment in her vision, and soon was unconscious.

The emergency procedures kicked in. A scan revealed an aneurysm in a cerebral vein. As they were preparing her for a procedure called Endovascular Coiling, where platinum or polymer coils are inserted using a micro-catheter to stop the internal bleeding, Jamuna's heart stopped beating. They could not revive her.

My mind went blank. Much as I have tried over the last so many years, except for a few snippets, I cannot remember what I did, or what anyone else did in the next 48 hours.

I remember a lot of crying faces. I remember being prompted to do certain things at the crematorium. I remember my boss hugging me tight for a substantial period and holding me up so that I did not just keel over.

I remember not seeing Ganga around. I remember asking for Manjula and being told that Ganga was looking after her. Thankfully, I remember Jamuna's face, looking extremely beautiful, calm and serene, as if she was in a deep sleep on the hospital bed.

All I know is that those two days of my life do not exist in my brain any more. My life started again, when I walked into my room, to see Ganga with a device attached to her breast.

She covered herself up and turned away from me. I sat down on the divan positioned to one side of my bedroom, too confused and disoriented to decipher anything.