Aaron Ch. 36-40

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Kate, Gem, Lexi and Rose were all at the lodge with Luna, getting ready for the ceremony. "I can't believe we are finally here. So much has happened in the last month." Luna spoke.

"You look beautiful Luna. I am so glad John and I are here today." Rose wiped a tear from her eye.

"He isn't still sulking is he?"

"He's trying to understand."

Luna nodded and then turned towards Kate, "Kate, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Kate felt her alpha and her friend examine her swirling thoughts and gave her a gentle smile as she added silently "No Luna I'm not fine, but I'll get through this. Don't be thinking about me today."

"I will always think of my family, my friends, my pack. My wedding day is no exception."

"You and Thorn are so perfect for each other and the pack."

"Lucas has had enough fun teasing Thorn about how late you are, so how about we get out there?" Gemma pushed them to get moving.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Rose, Gemma, Lexi and lastly Kate walked ahead of Luna and began the walk along the path that had been created.

The pack had gathered from far and wide. Thorn stood at the alter waiting with Russ, Lucas, Alex and Aaron at his side. Russ would partner Kate, Alex would team up with Lexi, Aaron would be with Rose and of course Lucas would be with Gem. She hoped there wouldn't be any problems tonight.

Kate had made a promise to Luna and knew from her that Thorn had threatened Aaron if he didn't behave. It hurt so much to have him right there, so close, and yet so far away. Shit he looked good in his formal clothes. She tore her eyes away from him to focus on the marriage of her best friend and Thorn who she loved like a brother.

Luna ran her hand over her belly lightly and looked straight into Thorn's eyes. "It's a lovely night for a wedding." Kate couldn't disagree it was beautiful. The pack gathered like this was lovely but the reason itself made this more special than any picturesque setting could, or even the stunning evening Mother Nature had provided. The whole pack not only depended on their alpha pair but loved them too.

Melody and Michael began the traditional words of the ceremony and Kate listened to them in a way she never had before. Being mated now she heard things she had never had at previous pack weddings, and her heart ached to have the chance to be joined with Aaron by the vows their pack had made for so many years. She wiped away a tear of her own now, not just the happiness of her friends joining in marriage, but her fear she may have lost her mate forever.

***

Aaron argued with his wolf again. The beast thought they should just take their mate until she saw sense and accepted them. He was too hurt to forgive her and didn't believe she was really ready. She was saying all the right things, but he was sure it was the therapists and her desire to please Luna and Thorn, not her own heart she was following. She had made it clear she still didn't believe he was good enough for her. She also didn't find herself worthy of anyone's love. He had seen her with her brothers and Emily and knew they were part of her healing. Maybe if he waited long enough she would be whole again and they could... but how could he know it was real? He couldn't let her in again just to lose her all over again. The pain had been terrible. He stiffened as it crossed his mind that a rejection from his mate would be a death blow.

"She isn't rejecting us idiot. She barely manages to keep her eyes off us. She weeps because you are too stupid to forgive her and pull her close. She was broken, we should have bloody seen it. We were too busy boasting, how proud we were of our mate, to all those near us. Too busy bragging about how lucky we were to have such a gorgeous woman as ours, to busy going on to even notice her breaking. We showed off her picture and her stories to our workmates, while she sat alone getting more and more freaked out. Then she sought us out for comfort and distraction on one of the worst days of her life. Comfort, I might add I was begging for myself, and you declined to fuck our mate. You owe her, and me, you idiot. I want to fuck her into a bloody coma, for how long she and you, have kept us apart."

"Quiet dog. Thinking with your cock is where I went wrong for years."

"Don't get that tone with me you stupid shit, I begged you to stop being a manwhore and wait for our mate. You couldn't go a week without dipping your cock in a..."

"Shut up. I know."

Aaron looked quickly at Kate not wanting to get caught. "Our mate is bloody gorgeous. I know you want her and I am sorry for everything. You know that."

"Then move on. Stop sulking about it, forgive yourself, and forgive her. We can help her heal, better than her brothers and all the therapy, better than Emily. I love that girl too human, but our mate needs us."

"We have a month. If she doesn't come to us in the next few weeks..."

"If she doesn't come to us by the end of next week I am taking over. You two are useless. Can you really just wait, and if she doesn't find the magic unknown words or gesture to make you believe it is real, just let her go? Let Thorn break the mating bond?"

"I don't know."

"Well I fucking do. You will die. We will die. You will kill her and us, if you let him break the bond."

"Without her I don't care if I die."

"You don't care if you kill her?"

"She wouldn't die. She's strong. She isn't weak like me. She can survive this and find someone as good as she is. Someone who can do what I couldn't."

"Oh brilliant. This is even worse than I thought. You aren't just weak, you're on a bloody suicide mission."

Aaron growled quietly and then stopped speaking to his wolf, who growled loudly back then turned his back on him. He grabbed another peek at Kate and argued with himself. It wasn't a suicide mission. He needed to know she loved him and wanted him. Not just because of the pull. Or to please everyone, like she had tried to do her whole life. Needed him because without him she was less, without him she hurt. That she forgave him for hurting her. Before they mated and after. Forgave him for not seeing how much she was suffering. He wanted to be her everything. That was what she was to him, everything, and if he couldn't be hers what was the point?

He watched the binding ceremony of his brother to Luna, and couldn't stop the pang of jealousy even though he felt true happiness for them.

He felt his lips quirk when Thorn broke their kiss to wipe her tears away, "I don't like seeing you cry."

"Girls are supposed to cry at weddings. Look around." Luna teased his brother.

Thorn did and was surprised to see woman in tears everywhere he looked. "Fuck, I'm alpha this isn't good." Thorn's wall gave enough for the family to hear due to his emotions.

"They're happy tears Thorn, suck it up alpha boy, if I can handle it you can."

The wall came back up when Thorn realised Luna had addressed the family not just him, and they took pleasure in her response.

After the ceremony everyone mingled for a while and in human tradition there were many photographs taken. Aaron realised Kate was almost as quick to keep away from him in the many group photos as he was her. It made him question whether that was a relief, or just further proof she was ready to end their bond.

However when the family photos began he was surprised when Luna and Thorn addressed them both. "Listen up you two, you will stand together in these photos. No, don't say a fucking word to each other or complain to us. In years to come you will be thankful to have them."

Aaron watched nervous tension fill Kate and her bow her head slightly in agreement and submission. He nodded in agreement and took his place. He stood as directed, slightly behind her one arm around her middle, appearing to hold her close but not actually daring to do so.

"For fuck sake Aaron, hold your mate, you're hurting her so much by not touching her." Gem glared at him.

"Gem." Kate gasped and then went to bolt but her gasped word turned into a whimper as Aaron pulled her close. "I'm sorry Luna, Thorn. I'm sorry my drama is ruining your photos. Aaron, I am so sorry you have to hold me when you hate me so much."

"I said no talking to each other." Luna growled.

"I don't hate you Katie. Let's just let them have their photos and then we will talk okay?"

"NO! Not tonight. You both promised me. Today is my day." Luna yelled.

Thorn pulled Luna close. "You can leave after the photos for one hour only. If you can't find peace with each other in that hour you come back here and act like the perfect wedding guests on opposite sides of the room you hear me?"

"Yes Alpha." Aaron agreed.

"Luna?" Kate whispered even knowing her delay made Thorn furious.

"Fine. Fine." Luna growled and pinched Thorn's side. "Our day. You were meant to back me. It's our bloody day."

"I know how much you want them to sort this out Little One, as far as I'm concerned every day is about making you happy."

Luna rolled her eyes then gave Thorn a kiss.

"You just rolled your eyes at me baby." Thorn grinned.

"I know you lot are having a nice chat but if we aren't taking photos can Rose and I go sit down?" Gem grumbled

"Shit sorry." Luna quickly apologised then turned to Kate. "I know you're sorry but this is okay. We are okay."

"Thank you. I love you Luna. Sorry Thorn." Silently she submitted to her alpha, "Sorry Alpha Thorn, I will obey you and return in one hour."

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

"Even watching them hurts. They're screwing this up. How can they be so clueless?" Mickey turned to Emily and his brother.

"I think there's a significant loss of brain cells when you turn twenty. That's why it is so important to learn heaps while we are young and do well in school." Emily nodded in agreement as her new brother gave his wise answer. "Mickey, Em, it is up to us to help them out. If we leave it to Katie and AJ our family is going to be torn apart."

"Gabe, Luna and Thorn have given then a month. A month to sort things out or Alpha Thorn will break the mating bond."

"We are not waiting a month guys. This will be sorted before we return to the city."

"So while they're all busy after the wedding we'll make our plans?" Michael had a grin on his face. "Like secret agents."

"Crap, they want us to go get in the photos, as soon as dinner is over we will meet in your room." Emily stood as they agreed and they walked towards the group gathering for the next photo. "This is the immediate family. We shouldn't be in it."

"Get in the photo." Luna laughed as Emily rolled her eyes and the boys quickly obeyed. "You could learn from them Em, they never argue with me like you do."

"I wasn't arguing just pointing out the truth."

"Aaron and Kate have adopted you as part of the family. Kate's brothers are now two of my favourite boys in the world. I'm your alpha and the damn bride. Ergo if I say get in the picture, you get in the picture as quick as your behind can move, plaster the cheesiest smile you can manage on your face, and stay there till I tell you you're free to leave. Understand?"

"Yes Alpha Luna. Alpha Thorn, have you noticed your wife is very moody today? I think she needs a hug." Kate laughed as Thorn wrapped his arms around Luna and swung her around hugging and kissing his new bride until she was giggling in his arms.

"Squirt, come stand by me before she staggers over there and kicks your butt." Aaron laughed as a slightly dizzy Luna staggered slightly next to her husband.

***

The rest of the photos were taken and while the majority of the family and pack now were making their way to the large reception venue Aaron and Kate walked around the other side of the lake and into the woods.

"You don't really think I hate you?" Aaron walked with his hands in his pockets resisting the impulse to touch her.

"I hope I haven't driven you to it, but I would understand if you did. I've been such a mess Aaron, and as a mate... well everyone knows I've been a nightmare."

"I have loved you since you were too young for me to even be looking at you like that. Before that I was already addicted to you. I will love you until I die Katie. Baby, I could never hate you."

"You refuse to talk to me at all. You ignore all my pleas to meet. The boys said they met you but won't say anything else. I don't even know what you've been doing or if you've read any of my letters, or thought about me at all. I..."

"Stop walking and look at me." Aaron ordered quietly. Kate turned towards him and looked at his chin. "Eyes baby, look at my eyes."

She slowly raised her eyes and he saw instantly the fear in hers as she made contact with his. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Aaron. I am so damn sorry and I don't know how to make you forgive me. I know you probably can't. I understand the bond has you stuck loving me even when you don't want to. You will never know how much I wish..."

"Kate, baby-girl, please just shut up and come here." Aaron opened his arms and after a small hesitation she opened and closed her mouth and then stepped forward. When she was in his embrace he quietly spoke. "I hate seeing you with fear in your eyes. I hate seeing you hurt. I hate that I let you down so many times. I hate so many things about this situation. Katie, no matter what happened or happens I will never hate you."

She burst into tears and clung to his shirt sobbing into his chest as he held her tighter. "I love you so much Aaron." She spoke brokenly into his shirt.

"I love you." Aaron stepped back and raised her chin. "How about we sit down sweetheart?"

"Of course." Kate moved a little away and sat down. She tried to wipe away her tears and realised with her wedding day make-up she probably looked a fright.

"Katie, we both made a lot of mistakes so this won't be much of a surprise, I want..."

"Shit, you're going to end it. Get him to break the bond."

"No. I don't want to break the bond. Well actually in some ways I would like it. I'd like to know you loved me without it. I mean not just because fate made you love me. That you chose me and wanted me. If I could break the bond and have you still love me it would be amazing."

"Aaron I loved you before the damn bond. I would still love you without it."

"I'm too much of a coward to find out. Please don't ask Thorn to break the bond. I would die if I lost you."

"You're a liar Aaron Donald. You are no bloody coward and if the only way you will believe I love you as you are is to break the bond I'm getting it broken." Kate growled.

"Sexiest thing ever." Aaron smiled for the first time as she gave him an angry look. "My fiery mate getting ready to kick ass."

"Aaron don't change the subject. If you can't believe I love you and that I'm sorry I need to show you. I can't live without you."

"Kate, I read every text, every letter. I listened to the tapes you sent me from your therapy sessions, even though I felt like I was violating you doing it, I needed to know it all and I thank you so much for working that out. It ate at me to know I failed you. It hurt so much to be excluded from the team that helped you find your way through everything."

"You never failed me." Kate moved and now sat on Aaron's thighs facing him. "Aaron you couldn't have known, nobody did. I am very smart, too smart for my own good in some ways. I hid everything so well, there was no way anybody would see what was happening then, and when it was over I hid it even deeper inside and refused to even face the truth myself."

"Are you doing better, really?"

"Yes. I am, truly, better, so much better. I know you're worried I'm just hiding again."

"It isn't that."

"What is it then?"

"I've lost you before. I can't lose you again." He saw her wrinkle her face in confusion. "When I loved you and saw you with Alex it killed a little bit of me and I decided I would never open myself up to loving again. I never sought out a mate because I knew I could never love anyone the way I already loved you. Then you came into the bar and blew my defences to smithereens. Before I even knew it was you the mate bond had me in a daze. And you ran and I lost years off my life thinking I was so close to all my dreams coming true and I had ruined it. Ruined it by screwing all those women that weren't you. Ruined it even more with my reaction. Miraculously during our mission, and then when we came back here, and even while I was away training, you allowed me back in, you loved me, and I felt whole for the first time in so long... then you tore my heart in two. My world went dark and emptiness filled me. I exist because my wolf has hope you still want us, still love us, need us, but I know I cannot survive if you ever..."

Kate kissed him deeply. She pulled at his hair as she fed on his mouth silencing his words. Tears ran down her face as she opened her mind and heart to him fully. "Never. I swear I will never leave you in the darkness. I will love you, want you and need you to a degree you'll be begging for some space until the day I die and beyond. I have been drowning for so long but I couldn't see a way out. I didn't want to drag anyone down with me. I didn't think I deserved to have anyone save me or love me. I couldn't see how to make up for the past and hope for happily ever after. Aaron I'm not the monster, she was. My mother was a monster but I never was. I was a victim. It is embarrassing to admit that I was so stupid and weak for so long. That I bought into her lies. That I lost everything because I was too messed up to see the truth. Please don't leave me lost and drowning, please?"

"I think we should do this the way it was meant to be. If she hadn't masked your scent and I had known you were mine when you were younger than Emily. I would have been your best friend, your protector. When you got old enough we would have gone on very PG dates and then one day I would have asked for a kiss. I would have treated you like a princess and made you fall in love with me slowly."

"What are you saying?"

"I want to date you. Please when we get back to the city can we go on a date?"

"Like to the movies?"

"Yeah, like to the movies. Stop laughing at me in your head," Aaron grumbled.

"I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because I am so happy. Aaron I thought we were over. I thought I had wrecked everything beyond repair. Then you hold me and kiss me and tell me you love me and I ache for it to be the start of a chance, but I was terrified. You want to date me, go to the movies with me? I can't wait to go on a date with you. The laugh is joy Aaron. I am fucking over flowing with JOY." Kate bounced on his lap slightly.

Aaron laughed with her then, feeling her joy flow through him also, until he stopped, suddenly holding her still and frowning slightly. "It won't be easy Katie, and you'll need to behave."

"I swear I will behave. I'll be the perfect girlfriend. I'll make it easy I promise." She continued to squirm on his lap.

"Yeah well baby, perfect I know you are. Easy you have never been. Rule one, stop wiggling all over my cock or I'm going to want to fuck you. Rule two, no lies Kate. Not real lies, and not by omission. You need to be honest about everything to do with us."

"Only two rules?" Kate smiled, "Rule one will be hard."

"Very." Aaron nodded and then felt her rock on him slightly, "KATE."

"Ooops, sorry it's just that my wolf and I agreed we're never masturbating again and I am very sexual, and you smell so good, and feel so good and..."