Accepting I’m A Bottom Pt. 03

"But you enjoyed it didn't you?"

"Enjoyed what?"

"Looking at me."

"That's beside the point."

"No James, it's not beside, it is the point."

"It isn't."

"Be honest with me, you enjoyed it didn't you?"

"Gavin please don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Ask me such questions."

"But you did enjoy it didn't you?"

"Gavin stop."

"No James I can't."

"What do you mean can't?"

"I can't stop."

"Why not?"

"You must know why?"

"How can I know?" I asked, knowing full well why not.

"Because you're a man, an older man and you must know such things."

"You're talking in riddles," I said softly as he moved even closer and rested his hand on the work surface so that his arm pressed on mine.

"Oh James please let's stop messing around. May I ask you a question?"

"Yes," I breathed wondering just what might be coming.

"Actually there are two."

"OK."

"And promise you will answer them truthfully."

"I will try."

"Ok?" he said running his hand up my arm, both shocking and exciting me.

"Yes," I gulped.

"One, did you enjoy what you saw at the party."

"What do you mean?"

With a maturity far beyond his years Gavin held my gaze and looking straight into my eyes said. "James you know exactly what I mean and what I'm asking so don't let's fuck about. Did you enjoy looking at my hard on knowing that you had caused it?"

"Oh Gavin," I muttered. "That is such an unfair and loaded question."

"Yes I know, sorry, but did you?"

Plucking up my courage I replied. "You must never ever repeat this to anyone. Promise?"

"Of course, I promise," he replied resting his hand on my shoulder, his thumb touching my bare flesh.

Avoiding any eye contact and looking down I whispered. "Yes, Gavin yes, I did."

"Fantastic, now the second James ok?" he asked as he put his fingers under my chin and lifted my face up.

"Yes Gavin?" I replied as our eyes met.

"Do you want to see it again?" he asked grabbing his bulge and thrusting that towards me.

It all then happened so quickly. His hand that had been resting on my shoulder slid round my neck and his other snaked round my waist. As he moved forward, he pulled my body towards him. Our gazes locked as his face covered the small distance between us. I was thinking 'it's just like in the old movies' as his face turned, his lips parted, our eyes closed and our lips met. As they did, so he pulled me tighter against him and I felt the hardness of his erection pressed into the softness of my tummy. It felt so, so good and I let out a low moan, almost a grunt of pleasure and anticipation.

He wasn't a particularly good kisser, but then young guys haven't had the experience to become as good as older guys and women. They are not as patient or as creative with their approach and execution, but they are enthusiastic so what he lacked in technique was more than made up for by energy and passion. Our mouths had hardly met when his tongue was probing my lips apart and slithering its way round my gums and teeth. He pulled my body more firmly against his so that our chests were crushed together and his erection sank into my stomach. I tried not to respond and made a ridiculously weak effort to push him off saying.

"No Gavin stop, we musn't."

Despite his lack of experience, he knew as clearly as I did that I didn't really mean it and that it was only a token resistance so he simply carried on. From a sexual point of view it was probably the right thing to do, but from most other angles it was wrong. But when sex and other considerations clash, the former usually wins through and with us this was no exception. To my horror in many ways, but extreme pleasure in others I found myself responding. As my cock completed its hardness, my arms went round him, my fingers went into the hair on the back of his neck and I ran my hand up and down his broad back. But I did make one more attempt to stop.

Pulling my mouth away from his and squirming out of his embrace I said.

"Gavin please, no."

"We can't stop now James, you must know that."

"But it is so wrong," I stammered.

"This can't be wrong," he replied pulling me against him again so that my face rested on his chest as he cuddled me.

"It is Gavin, I am older than your dad."

"And sexier as well," he said squirming against my erection.

That made me smile. "Don't, you know what I mean."

"Yes, but age means nothing really.

"It does, it means a great deal."

"You know I fancy you like hell and I know now that you fancy me, so how is it wrong?"

"If anyone ever found out there......"

"Shush James, no one will ever find out," he whispered into my ear as he ran his hands up and down my back pausing suggestively on the left cheek of my bum."

"How can I be sure?"

"Well I won't tell anyone. This is so special to me."

"Gavin how has this come about?" I groaned as I felt his hand slip inside the waist of my track trousers and onto my bare skin. That made me jump.

"Because we both want it," he said pausing and then talking into my hair added. "Because we both want each other, that's why."

That got to me, it hit me hard because it was true, although so far it had been just a fantasy his hands on my bare flesh were starting to tell me that it was becoming a reality.

He lifted my face and we kissed again. This time it was slower, easier and tenderer, but none the less passionately and hugely intimate. And this time it was more physical. I was pressed back against the work surface making me a firmer platform for him to push himself against and he did that in a spectacular way. The base of his cock pressed right against my pubic bone alongside my erection with the rest of it surging up my tummy. As we kissed, he moved and slowly ground it against me slithering its length right against mine sending shudders of such desire through me that most of my earlier reservations simply slipped away. Soon, I found my body reacting and I started to squirm my body back against his.

It seemed as if he took that for what it was, although that was not my intention, as my sign of surrender. Almost as soon as I moved my body against him his hand slid upwards between us and onto my breast. He cupped and squeezed it and pinched my nipple. I knew that I should have stopped him there and then for that was the correct thing to do. It was what an older man should do to a friend of his son. And of course, it was exactly what I should have done. I knew that, I was acutely aware of what I should do and I realised the dangers inherent in doing anything else. But what did I do instead? I kissed him harder, slid my hand up the back of his tee shirt and writhed myself more firmly against him. And I knew very well indeed that by doing those things I was effectively saying to Gavin that he could fuck me.

He knew that too. Somehow my track top came off and his hand was inside the singlet wandering all over my fairly hairy chest. At the same time his other hand that had been squeezing and caressing my buttocks outside the track and gym pants slid inside them and was now on my bare bum.

Although generally he was a confident and assured young man with a sparkling personality, I couldn't really believe just how dominant he was in a sexual situation. Seemingly without even trying he had taken over and was directing, leading and controlling me. Him a nineteen-year-old boy treating me a forty-five year-old man as if I were a woman he was seducing me and I loved it!

I was gone. I knew that, I acknowledged and accepted it. I was going to have sex with him, and yes it hit me so hard my son's best friend was going to fuck me, but not like this. Not with my clothes in disarray, not in my kitchen, not with my gym shorts and track trousers round my knees and my singlet bunched around my neck. It was wanton enough of me to be about to have sex with someone who was little more than a kid, I didn't need all the sordid aspects of it as well. A degree of gentility and decorum was necessary on my part to maintain some self-respect.

I pushed him off and moved away.

"What? What is it James, I thought....."

"Shush stop, we are, we will Gavin, but not like this. I must shower," I told him.

"Oh ok."

"Come with me?" I said taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to the main guest bedroom.

Opening the door, I indicated to the bed and standing on tip toe I kissed him on the lips. "Get yourself ready Gavin, I'll be back soon."

As I showered, my resolve faltered a little and I asked myself just what the hell I was doing and what I was risking? However, I knew that I had let things go too far, or that's what I told myself, so I would have to carry on, which in the inner recesses of my mind I knew was what I wanted.

Wrapped in a large, white towel I was ready to make love to my young stud. Walking across the landing I found myself wondering just what Gavin would have done by way of getting himself ready. As I walked through the half open door, I was relieved and pleased to see that he was in bed. I was also pleased and thrilled to see that he had undressed for the sheet was pulled up to just above his waist. He looked delicious.

"Hi Gavin," I said walking across the room and standing beside the bed.

"Hi James, I thought you had dumped me."

Smiling I put one knee on the bed. "I'm not in the habit of leaving naked young men around my house you know, could be suspicious to some."

"Yes, I imagine it could be," he smiled back adding. "You look amazing."

"You don't look so bad yourself young man," I said rather huskily as I took hold of the towel. His eyes never wavered from me for one second as I slowly unravelled the towel and let it fall to the ground.

"Oh fucking hell," he groaned staring at my naked body and full erection as I leaned forward holding my tummy in and lifted the sheet. I pulled it back until I had uncovered him. He had a great body and a wonderfully full hard on. I smiled and mimicked him.

"Oh fucking hell Gavin."

I got in the bed with him and within moments I was committing gay adultery. We kissed, we cuddled, we ground our bodies together and then he fucked me. It wasn't long, languid lovemaking, that was not what either of us or the circumstances called for. It was a fervid, frenetic fuck and that was precisely what both of us and the circumstance demanded.

I was on my back with him beside me also on his back. My right leg was raised and he was in me from sort of under that leg. It was a rather complicated position but one that enabled us to kiss each other and left my cock available to both of us so, as he fucked me, we both jerked me off as well. Like that neither he nor I took long and quickly he was groaning and sighing his nearness as I rubbed my cock towards a full climax and came over both of our hands and my stomach and chest.

After that I lay beside him, we wrapped our arms round each other and squirmed our bodies together there really was only one realistic next stage. Half hour or so later. He rolled me onto my back and gently rubbed my semi hard dick as if he were checking its readiness which I suppose he was really. Seemingly satisfied he slid downwards kissing and licking my body as he went until his face was on my hip, my cock was in his hand and his lips were close to it. He kissed the very tip of it and then as I stroked and rubbed his head he licked down the length of it, onto my balls, around them and between my legs, that he forced further apart and right onto my perinium.

"Oh God Gavin," I groaned with genuine serious pleasure as we gripped each other's hand firmly. In addition to his active tongue and lips he started to use the fingers on his free hand as well and they found my hole that was a tad sore from being fucked so firmly just a short while ago so I stopped him. He reverted to rubbing that wonderfully sexy patch of skin immediately behind my scrotum as he sucked my cock.

Whilst earlier I had some doubts about his lovemaking abilities, especially when kissing, they vanished when he started the blow job as he was well up there with Kelly who's superb and the standard by which I measure I match anyone else!

Licking, sucking, kissing and gently biting with his mouth and pinching, rubbing and stroking with his fingers all over my cock and balls, between my legs and in the crease of my arse he soon had me stunningly hard and straining to cum; it was a hell of a long time since I had cum so soon a second time.

Quite wisely though, in many ways rather disappointingly as I got near, he took my cock from his mouth and continued to masturbate me with his hand so that I shot onto his hand and my belly and chest.

We lay there for quite some time with me feeling consumed by guilt. That was not so much because I had been indulging in gay sex nor, really that much that it was with such a young guy. No, it was mostly because of the closeness he was to my son and family and the thought of it getting out. Several times I made him promise that he wouldn't mention it to anyone including and especially Peter and, of course, he promised that he wouldn't but I was still so worried.

"Are you very active?" I asked him when we got up around ten and went downstairs after he had told me there was some carbonara left and it was fine heated up. Before putting the lights on in the hallway and kitchen I drew the curtains and blinds so we could have our supper naked. It was surreal but lovely and I wondered what anyone would make of seeing us, a middle aged married guy with two grown up children and a nineteen-year old student eating naked in the middle of the night.

"No not really, it's just a now and then thing for me like it is for most of my mates."

"What about Peter?"

He lifted a spoonful of the carbonara to his mouth and chewed on it before replying.

"Now James, you asked for my discretion and silence about us so please don't make me grass on Pete."

"It's a bit different."

"Yes true so put it this way. Nearly all my mates swing both ways, ok?"

We finished off the half bottle of red wine and cleared up before Gavin put his arms around me, pulled me to him and kissed me fully on the mouth.

"If you are really asking me if Pete and I have done it the answer's no, I tend to only go with older guys now."

"I see."

Smiling as he held my semi-hard cock, he said. "Hmmm I wonder if you do, but talking about older guys let me take you to bed as, quite frankly James, I can feel another fuck coming on.

As we got into the bedroom he said, rather considerately I thought, although I didn't really understand gay or bi sexual etiquette.

"Do you want to be top this time James?"

"Not particularly unless you want me to?"

Putting his arm around me as we got onto the bed he said grinning.

"No mate, like most guys I am a bit of a switch but much prefer doing the work, so are you ok just lying there?"

We were very close both physically and I realised emotionally as well as, after all we were just about to have more sex. The guilt and most of the worry had gone with the red wine and the 'nude feast' and I felt very warm towards my young lover so without hardly thinking I put my arm round his neck and pulling his face towards mine I kissed him full on the lips with my tongue plundering deep into his mouth. I managed to whisper that I was and he said.

"Ok James, on your back like last time."

Pulling my legs open, he knelt between them and slipping his hands under my knees he lifted them and opened them further. Holding them up and open he shuffled forward.

"Ok daddy," he grinned as he pushed his cock right against my hole. "Do you have any lube or anything?"

"Don't think so but there's probably some baby oil in the bathroom, shall I get it?"

"No, I will you just get yourself ready to be fucked again," he said clambering off the bed and walking out of the room, his neat arse swaying beautifully as he went. "Ok got it," he called out and then as he wandered back went on with. "And by the way James you are a pretty damn good fuck you know, have you had much practice?"

As he resumed the position he'd left to get the oil I told him that I hadn't and saw that he was carrying a towel and he asked if it was ok to use it to catch any oil that went astray. I told him it was and lifted up for him to slide it under me. I then had the exquisite sensation of him pouring some oil into the crease of my ass and rubbing it into my hole. Had he done that much longer I am pretty sure that I would have started to cum, but fortunately he didn't push his finger in very far and then poured some onto his still hardening dick that I reached out to touch. He slapped my hand and grinned.

"Naughty, no touching. Now lift up like a good boy."

I opened my legs and lifted them up he could get between them again. Holding his condom covered dick with one hand he pressed the end of it against my hole as with his other hand he took hold of my bare cock.

"See sexy, like this I can fuck and wank you at the same time."

And that is precisely what he did.

He started hammering away at me as soon as he was in me. I wasn't about to complain for once more that was probably what the situation called for. He had little finesse, but I didn't care. He was giving me precisely what I wanted and needed, a quick, hard and sordid fuck. I didn't want love, tenderness and consideration simply sexual satisfaction and gratification.

"Oh fuck James.," he moaned surging as far up me as he could go so that his balls slapped against my bum.

"Yes Gavin, yes," I groaned back lifting my legs even higher and wider.

"Fuck it I'm cumming, bollocks."

"Don't be silly, that's fine," I croaked as my climax started. "I am too."

Wrapping his hand around mine he placed it on my cock so that we were both wanking it as he slammed himself deeper and deeper into me as he prepared to ejaculate. I tried hard to grip him more firmly with my arse muscles but really, I was too far gone to know precisely what I was doing. And then with an array of 'yes, yes, yesses,' 'I'm cumming,' deep grunts, moans and near convulsions we roared to a magical, mutual orgasm.

"Oh James that was awesome," he sighed slipping out of me and rolling onto his back, but sliding his arm round my shoulders. Although I still felt some guilt, I also felt a lot of other things, excitement, pleasure, desire, expectation and the need to sleep.

We lay there quiet for a moment as the enormity of what I had let happen, or perhaps had encouraged, hit me. As we drifted off to sleep oddly, now that I had 'done it' I did not feel anywhere near the level of guilt that I had imagined I would.

Waking the next morning I couldn't at first work out where I was or what had happened but, of course, the events of yesterday quickly filled my mind. Gavin woke at the same time as I did.

"What's the time?" he asked.

"Just after seven," I told him.

"What time did we go to sleep?"

"Around two I think."

"Busy and long night wasn't it?" he grinned.

"Yes it was."

"Was it ok?" he asked as he slid his fingers down my chest and across the top of my flaccid cock.

"Yes Gavin, it was great."

"How do you feel?" he asked considerately.

"Not as bad as I thought I might."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, it is quite a big thing you know."

He giggled and muttered. "Yes, a couple of girls have said that."

I laughed and slid my hand down his body and took his cock in my hand. I was amazed and excited to find that there was some hardness there but then, I reconciled, nineteen-year-olds are like that.

"Mmmm that's impressive Gavin."

"Morning wood mate," he grinned.

"Hard to remember," I smiled.

What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," I went on removing my hand somewhat reluctantly from his cock.

"Not sure really love."

"It's not as simple as that at my age."