Accidental Cuckold Ch. 07

I took that as my cue as I swiftly approached from behind.

"Kakogo chyorta!!" The man said lowering his gun to wipe his eyes, he was crying with laughter.

I had tried this very distraction in past with the Taliban to great effect, I truly wasn't sure if it would work with trained, disciplined men.

I punched the man in the lower back as hard as I could with my fist full of nickels. He grunted in pain, but was too slow to react, I had him in a sleeper hold.

"What the fuck!" Exclaimed the husband in surprise, his erection swaying as he spoke.

The gunman struggled to no effect, he tried to grab for his gun as he passed out. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the bag tags to bind his hands behind him.

"What are you doing?" The husband asked completely forgetting the need for silence.

A shrill and oddly familiar female voice barked out commands in Russian. Picking up the MP5, I cocked it then observed the round that came out. After that I ejected the mag, it was as I suspected. Dropping it all next to him, I moved away from the bound man.

"Don't you need his rifle?" He asked, "and... maybe take off your shoes, socks and shirt?"

Not wanting to give away my position I held in my laughter, as for the weapon, it was useless to me.

Moving along behind desks and filing cabinets I kept low and out of sight.

"Pizdets!" Shouted a deep voice moving towards us, I stopped moving.

He passed by without noticing me, he was much taller with a much thicker neck than the first gunman. I would have to try a different approach.

"Naveshat' pizdyley!" The thick neck man yelled out when he saw the naked husband.

This gunman wasn't laughing, he also wasn't shooting, which I took as a good sign.

"Uh... hello... I want to surrender." The naked man said more scared than before.

"Past' zabej, padla jebanaja!" Was the reply.

"Um... can I put my hands down?" He asked in a shaky tone.

"Past' zabej, padla jebanaja!!" The new gunman repeated raising his MP5 to take aim.

I was too far away to react, I crawled on my stomach towards them, I needed more time!

"Where is he!" The gunman said in English.

"Who?" The husband responded too bravely.

"Pizdobol, Pizdoon!!" Was the reply as the muscular man approached him.

I advanced silently, but I doubt I'd get there before he hit him. The metallic grinding sound started up again.

"Where," He said emphasising his words, "is... he!"

"Oh!" Was the reply. "Your friend?"

I worried for the naked husband, he didn't know what I knew.

"Da!" Snapped the gun totting villain.

The naked man tried to point, but a sharp reply from the thick necked man halted him. I was nearly in position.

The thick necked man moved closer, then shoved the naked husband back as he looked for his friend. That was my cue!

Getting up I ran at the man. He was looking down at his unconscious and bound friend. I could tell he was shocked, how could an unarmed naked man with no muscles and an erection take down his comrade.

He turned towards the husband, then dropped his MP5, I assumed he was reaching for a pistol. I didn't wait to find out, I punched him in the temple, he collapsed like a ton of bricks.

"Did you get him?" Asked a weak voice nearby.

I got up to see the naked man tending to a gash on his head. He was smiling and still very hard. In the background the sounds of grinding stopped, it however was replaced by that female voice.

"What's your name?" I asked him an hour too late.

"Bob, but you can call me Bobby." He said with a wink.

I laughed as I checked the man's pocket, there was a pistol and a flashbang. The pistol I kicked under a desk, I didn't want to get caught with it when the cops stormed the building, the flashbang I stuffed into a pocket.

"Bobby," I said, "can I ask you a favour?"

"Depends on the favour." He replied.

"Tie this guy up, then hide." I said handing him the bindings.

"Sure! Where are you going?" He said loudly, the metallic whine was going again.

"I'm going to end this." I declared with a confidence I didn't feel.

"You don't need me?" A sullen Bobby asked.

"No they might actually start using bullets now." I replied. "Besides I doubt your wife will have me over later if you turn up dead."

We shook hands as friends.

"Dinner it is!" Bobby shouted as I ran away.

I got into the front of the bank to see dozens of terrified faces looking back at me. I didn't have much time.

Moving through the bank I had felt like the infamous Léo as I combined stealth, boldness and aggression in the face of overwhelming odds. That woman I stealthily shagged years ago by the Scheldt; I had met her on a road named for Léo.

"Everyone remain calm!" I shouted.

"Who are you?" Said a voice behind me.

"I'm the branch manager." I said reluctantly to the crowd of cowering people. "The situation is almost under control. Stay here and await the police."

Several people spoke at once, all asking questions. I didn't have time for this. Scanning the room I spotted a branch employee I recognized, she sported a black eye.

"Saunders," I commanded, "where is she?"

Saunders pointed towards the stairwell, I turned and started running. I reached the door it was locked! I kicked it then swore. The door didn't have a lock, she must have jammed it shut from her side! I didn't even get a look at her!

The grinding sound started up again, it was coming from the vault. I approached swiftly, but with caution.

"Поторопись!" Shouted a deep voice from within the vault.

Peaking around the corner I could see another tall and muscular man with an MP5 at the ready. He seemed to be arguing with someone, but kept his body pointed towards the vault entrance.

I wished that Bobby was with me, I could use the distraction, I didn't think I could take this fellow on. He reminded me of a bouncer I once scrapped with in Paris, I however was lucky that time.

Rummaging through my pockets I found the roll of nickels and the flashbang. I took a few combat breaths to steady myself, I was going to put my head into the mouth of the lion.

Gripping the flashbang tightly, I jumped into the room and tossed it at the giant man's eye. He brought his hand up after it bounced off his face, then leveled his MP5 and started to shoot.

"Jri govno i zdohni!!" He yelled in anger.

Stupid me I instinctively started zig-zagging, I heard the bullets and cringed. I felt so dumb! As I suspected the rounds were all blank!

"Chyort voz'mi!!" He bellowed as he realized he wasn't hitting me.

His roars of anger rang throughout the vault. I kept running towards him as he threw his MP5 down. Like an American football kicker I cocked my foot back and brought it forward with all my might. His crotch was the pigskin ball, and I was launching it to the moon!

I had done the same thing with the Paris bouncer and it worked very well. This time it was only partially so. He must have had a jock strap of iron, my leg and foot connected, only to be rewarded with a stabbing pain!

I didn't fall down, but he did, whatever he wore it was not enough. He yelled in agony as he gripped his groin.

If this were a bar fight, I'd leave him alone, it was however a duel to the death, so I started kicking him repeatedly. He curled up to protect his vitals.

Remembering why I was in there I cleared my throat to speak up.

"Take off your pants and turn around!" I yelled, then followed by "Ya hachu tebya trakhate!"

Silence was my reward, the smaller man using the machine tool to open the boxes threw it down and swore. The man on the ground was even angrier!

"Blyat!" Snapped the smaller man.

If that cursed necklace were in any of the safety deposit boxes they would be doing my bidding. Why they didn't do a similar test before was beyond me?

"Unbju!" Screamed the bigger man, as he pounded a fist on the ground.

The brute on the ground was fueled by pain and rage, his veins were popping from all the adrenaline pumping through them. My kicks and punches were nothing against him as he arose like a vengeful Lazarus.

"Prishju! I am going to fucking kill you!!" He roared at the top of his lungs.

I believed him as I ducked and dodged his blows. He was by far stronger and angrier than any foe I had fought before, which included Gaston!

There was no giving up for me, if I were to die it would be on my feet! The thought of dinner with that woman and sex with her again invigorated me, but I didn't know if that were enough.

I heard a metallic clink noise nearby, in my peripheral vision I could see it was another flashbang. The calvary had arrived and hopefully they weren't going to shoot me.

I turned my back on my foe and covering my eyes I leapt towards a corner. The flash was very bright even with my eyes closed. As I hit the floor there was darkness.

Later I didn't want to open my eyes, I could hear Russian voices which convinced me I wasn't in a hospital. When the voices switched to laughing I finally gave in and took a look around me.

I was seated in the back of a paddy wagon, handcuffed and shackled with the bank robbers! Bobby was there too!

"Kanker!" I swore at the top of my lungs!

Anger was too light a word, I had disarmed nearly all the assailants only to end up with them headed to jail. The Russians started laughing again!

"Bobby!" I yelled out, "what the fuck!"

He was still naked, his head wound was undressed and worst of all he was still sprouting a boner, his reluctance to speak made me madder!

"Why did they arrest us!" I stated. "We saved the day!"

"Well the thing about that..." Bobby started to say.

This Bobby fellow was a real joker. The way he smiled and spoke had disarmed my anger in moments. He was alright.

I started to laugh, then everyone started to laugh with me! We were enemies before but now comrades in a shared experience.

"We are all as you say fucked!" Said the giant. "We all go to jail, you too! Ha ha!"

I laughed with him, he was mostly right. Unlike him I had a lawyer waiting at the station.

"That bitch fucked us all!" Said the blonde one to a chorus of cheers.

I tried to ask her name or details, but they were all shouting at once.

"So dinner is off?" Bobby asked when the laughter died down.

I really wanted to ask him how many Viagra he had taken, but feared the answer would be zero.

"Sorry I slapped you..." I said, "and... stripped you down. I thought it mattered at the time."

"I understand." He said with a smile.

The blonde Russian I had choked out earlier was staring at Bobby, and not at his eyes.

"You fought good this time." The giant said. "Last time you tricked me, this time I was going to win!"

I opened my mouth in shock! Everyone went silent as they stared at my astonishment. When I didn't respond immediately they all burst into laughter. He was that bouncer I fought in Paris! Why was he in America? Why did they use blanks? Why do they seek that blue necklace?

The Russians commenced with a song, it drowned out all my words. I recognized it from Afghanistan. I thought it was an Afghan folk song.

Turning to Bobby I tried to say the words in English, I only knew it in Dari. He grinned broadly and tried to keep up.