After the Christmas Party

"Anyway, the whole butch and femme thing... it pretty much popped up the moment the first lesbians started peeking out of the closet a hundred years ago." Jay shrugged. "Back then was the first time that women could go to bars without male escorts. So naturally, women who preferred the company of other women started seeking each other out. And in order to signal that they like other women, they started doing certain things. A starched shirt. Certain jewellery. That sort of thing."

Claudia nodded to indicate that she was still listening while glancing at her personal assistant, trying to figure out where she fit in. Sure, sitting there in her cocktail dress, she was the picture of femininity, but at work she mostly associated Linda with dressing... conservatively for lack of a better word. She realised she had no idea what Linda looked like and dressed like outside of work.

Jay continued her lecture. "Now, in the fifties, you get the first organized groups. And then the question pops up. Do we keep doing the butch thing? Or do we try to act like society expects us to ask to fit in better?"

Claudia hesitated for a moment, and when no answer was forthcoming Jay continued. "So fast forward a few decades. A bunch of different feminists and lesbians write all about it. And no two of them can agree. Are relationships between a butch and a femme needlessly heteronormative? Do femmes have it easier because they can more easily integrate with society, or do they lack visibility among lesbians for that exact reason? And what about those women who don't fit either category?"

Claudia opened and closed her mouth a few times. She glanced at Linda for help for a moment, but her personal assistant was just grinning. Was this what Linda was trying to show her? That these were the sort of things they might have to deal with if things ended up more personal between them? Finally she turned back to Jay. "I really don't know... I mean, I don't even know if I like women... but I do like Linda." she added quickly. She wasn't sure why she did. She trusted Linda not to share their working late together with anyone. And she had a feeling that Jay was used to keeping secrets. "But I like the way I look." she added, a little defensively.

"I can see that." Jay said with a grin, the first time Claudia had seen the bartender with an expression that wasn't somewhere south of dour. "However, the real question is... the salons and the manicures and the boutique clothes... Who is it for?"

"For myself." Claudia said immediately and firmly. She definitely felt like she needed to regain some ground. Linda just smiled and nodded. It was hard to imagine Claudia not looking immaculate even just staying in for the evening with a good book and something asinine on TV.

Jay nodded at that, either accepting Claudia's answer or Linda's affirmation of it. Either way she seemed satisfied. "Anyway, it's not like it matters much, right? It's not like you're really into women..."

Claudia's cheeks actually coloured a little at that, something that wasn't lost on Linda. "I don't know." she admitted after a moment's hesitation. "Maybe I am? Or just bi, or..." she paused again, glancing to her left. "Maybe I'm just into one woman?"

"Well, you could do a whole lot worse than that one woman..." Jay chuckled. "Besides, we all look after each other here, and you don't want to anger the pack."

"I think..." Linda said a bit pointedly. "That you've scared and confused poor Claudia enough for one night Jay. Anyway, I didn't think it would be you working tonight?"

Jay shrugged. "Classes are already over for the semester. I figured I might as well do my reading here. Besides, others will probably come in later."

"Uhm..." Claudia ventured. "You didn't have to come down here and open up just for us..."

"Oh, I didn't have to go far..." Jay said with a cryptic sigh. "Besides... responsibilities, y'know?"

Claudia didn't know what Jay meant by that, but she decided to drop it. "Well... thank you anyway... You've given me a lot to think about..."

For the first time Jay actually seemed to be smiling at her. "Don't worry about it too much babe. You do you. If Linda makes you happy, good for you. You don't need to worry about learning the secret handshake or subscribing to the newsletter."

Claudia nodded, then remained silent for a moment, mulling over Jay's words. Finally she spoke up again. "I should leave you two to it for a moment, I need to answer some e-mails." With that she collected her purse and retreated to one of the couches that sat in the corner.

Jay gave a shrug but Linda wasn't sure what to think of that. There was always the possibility that Claudia had some private e-mails that needed to be answered, she certainly knew that her boss's professional inbox didn't require her attention at this time, but her intuition told her there was more to Claudia's retreat like that. Maybe it was because Jay had addressed her as babe. Maybe it was something else. Either way, she knew Claudia wouldn't want to talk about it.

So she turned her attention to Jay. Her friend actually looked marginally remorseful over making Claudia uncomfortable. The two friends talked for a while, their voices not carrying far enough for Claudia to make out their words as she scrolled through her phone.

Eventually the two women ran out of things to talk about, and Linda rose from her stool with a sigh. Claudia looked up from her phone. "Hey, I'm about to head home... do you want me to call you a cab?"

"I'm sure I haven't forgotten how to..." Claudia smiled wryly as she got to her feet. "Just give me a moment, yeah?"

Linda nodded and disappeared into the hallway as Claudia put in the call for a cab. As she did she couldn't help but glance at Jay, although the bartender had retreated to her laptop and wasn't paying her attention. It had been odd seeing her personal assistant in a setting like this.

After the taxi had been called Claudia gave Jay one last wave that went unacknowledged except for a grunt. Claudia decided to put it down to Jay being lost in her work rather than any ill will the younger woman might still feel towards her.

As she and Linda stepped outside she noticed that it was snowing again. She tightened the collar of her coat around her neck as she and Linda climbed the stairs that led to the street level. At the top Linda turned to her. "Will you be alright waiting for the cab Claudia?"

The older woman glanced up and down the street for a moment. It was very well illuminated, and she had been assured that it would take five minutes for the cab to arrive. "I'll be fine... if anything happens I'll just run back downstairs."

Linda sighed and nodded at that. She had no doubt that Jay would let Claudia back in if she somehow got in trouble, and besides, this wasn't a bad neighbourhood. "Well..." she said after a moment. "I'll see you on the twenty-seventh."

With that she turned around. Claudia watched the retreating back of her grey wool coat illuminated by yellow streetlights and streaked by flurries of snowflakes. She licked her lips nervously. As Linda slowly retreated she couldn't help but think back to the party, when she felt uncharacteristic feelings of jealousy flare up whenever someone had talked to Linda. She couldn't help but think back to the conversation they had had in the bar, how Jay seemed to have automatically assumed that Claudia was there as Linda's date, not just her boss. She couldn't help it.

"Linda!" she called out, then louder again when there seemed to be no immediate response. "Linda!"

The younger woman was about halfway to crossing the distance between where Claudia was standing and the corner where she'd disappear out of sight on her way back to the subway. She turned around slowly, eyeing Claudia curiously. Finally she turned around and started heading back until she was finally standing in front of Claudia. "Yes?"

Claudia licked her glossed lips nervously. Calling Linda back had been an act of impulse, and the fifteen or so seconds it took for Linda to walk back had brought on a rush of second thoughts. Linda could see the hesitation on Claudia's face, which was not an emotional state she associated with her boss. She was just about to ask what she needed when Claudia pushed through and said what was really on her mind. She reached out, placing a hand on Linda's lower arm. "Go home with me tonight..." she said, a waver of doubt in her voice.

Linda took a deep breath at that. As far as requests from her boss went, this was pretty out of left field. "Claudia... you don't need a mistress tonight... and besides, we agreed, only at the office."

"I'm not asking for my mistress." Claudia said firmly. "I'm asking for you."

Linda blinked a few times at that. Where had that come from? "Claudia... we have our rules for a reason... only at the office, and only after everybody else has gone home..."

"Fuck, Linda!" Claudia groaned in frustration. "I don't need to wear my collar right now. I need you."

Linda swallowed. How long had Claudia had these feelings? The whole point of the rules was to make sure that feelings didn't get in the way of either their professional relationship or the assistance Linda gave Claudia after hours. "Claudia..." she sighed after a moment that seemed to last a minute. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend."

"Neither am I!" Claudia quickly interjected. "Just... go home with me." she repeated her request. "Just for tonight. I can even call you a cab if you don't want to spend the night. I just... I just want to..."

Linda raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest, looking at Claudia questioningly. Clearly this was one time she wasn't going to anticipate Claudia's needs for her.

"I want to sleep with you Linda." Claudia finally said. Linda had suspected as much, but she needed to hear her say it. "No collars. No relationship. Just... just a night. Just the two of us."

Linda sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is too much Claudia..." she said after another moment's thought. She almost wished that her boss had been drinking more than fruit cocktails at the party. Claudia being intoxicated would make it so much simpler to turn her down now.

"I really don't think this is a good idea Claudia..." Linda sighed, brushing some errant snowflakes from her hair. "We should keep our distance..."

"You're the one who dragged me out here." Claudia said firmly. "What did you think would happen?"

Linda faltered for a moment. Because while it might still have had her doubts about Claudia's request she knew that her boss was right - it was Linda's idea to go here, and she knew that she shouldn't have brought Claudia to Petra if she didn't want her boss to think about things like this.

She was pulled from the jumble of confusing thoughts by the sound of a car pulling up besides them. The headlights framed Claudia from behind for a moment, framing her in a white glow. Claudia seized that opportunity to push her faltering friend. "My ride is here... and I'm not going to ask the driver to wait while you make up your mind..."

It was a stark reminder of the woman Claudia was - strong-willed, determined to get what she wanted, but unwilling to stoop so low as to beg or grovel for it.. And now she wanted her. Not as a mistress, not as a girlfriend either. A one night stand... with the added complication that she'd have to see Claudia after the holidays, and go back to working for her...

And that was the question, wasn't it? Did she trust Claudia - and herself - enough to believe that things could go back to normal after tonight? At least to the extent that normal still applied to the both of them...

Claudia was just about to pull the door of the cab shut behind her when Linda's hand suddenly shot forward, grabbing it. "Alright." she said firmly. "I'm in."

Claudia smiled, scooting over so that Linda had room to get in besides her. The cab driver glanced at the two women in the back seat for a moment. If he was the type to comment on certain things he suppressed it. The address that dispatch had given him suggested the possibility of an above average tip, especially with the holiday spirit in the air, and he wasn't about to jeopardize that.

The ride was spent in silence. Claudia occasionally glanced sideways at Linda. The younger woman's cheeks had reddened. She couldn't help but wonder whether that was an effect of standing out in the snow while they talked or the matter they had talked about. Claudia was sure that the tension between the two wouldn't be lost on their driver.

It took nearly fifteen minutes for the taxi to reach its destination. The roads were fairly empty but the flurries of snow meant that those who were driving had to do so carefully. Once they did arrive Linda got out of the cab first, holding the door open for Claudia while she paid and tipped the driver.

One step into the lobby of the building made it obvious that Claudia lived very well, if only because they were greeted by a doorman who was more neatly dressed than most of Linda's colleagues, bright and chipper even this late at night. "Good evening miss Braddock." he smiled at Claudia, adding a polite 'miss' and a nod of acknowledgement for Linda. "You have some mail waiting for you."

As Claudia followed the doorman back to his desk Linda took in her surroundings. The floor was a pleasantly geometric pattern of black and white marble, converging at a point about two thirds of the way between the elevator and the doors they had entered through. Some strategically placed couches and plants broke up the acoustics enough to stop footsteps from echoing too loudly. Everything was illuminated by soft yellow light coming from a chandelier hanging in the centre of the open area, a modern thing of steel and glass pipes, with wall mounted lights picking up some of its slack around the edges.

Claudia returned from the desk with a handful of envelopes. The size and colour seemed to suggest Christmas cards. "Are you ready to go up?"

Linda nodded, following Claudia across the lobby. One of the elevators opened up in response to Claudia producing a key fob from her purse and holding it up against a panel of matte black glass. It wasn't until the doors closed that she turned to her boss. "You never told me your building has a doorman..."

"I never expected you to come to my apartment." Claudia shrugged before adding "He's not going to breathe a word about you coming up with me, if that's what you're worried about."

Linda sighed, deciding to let the matter drop once her boss seemed to pick up on her implicit concerns.

The high hallway they stepped out into had a subtly vaulted ceiling, with circles of pale yellow light running along the very top of the arch, forming a line of illumination on the black marble floors. Their footsteps created soft echoes as they walked.

Linda watched as Claudia reached into her purse, pulling out her keys. "Uhm... I didn't exactly expect guests..." she said, holding the doorknob.

Linda gave a small shrug. She had a hard time imagining Claudia's apartment being anything other than pristine, even if she wasn't expecting visitors.

Much to her relief her assessment turned out to be right. She wasn't sure what she would do if she found out that her normally so meticulously dressed and presented boss somehow enjoyed clutter in her own home.

The front door opened up into darkness. Linda could just make out the silhouettes of the furniture with what little light came in from the windows. Claudia reached for the light switch by muscle memory.

They were standing by the front door, where a panel of glass with a geometric pattern etched in it created a pseudo-hallway. They walked past it to find a living room that seemed an almost perfect reflection of the style Claudia had used to decorate her office, modern minimalism, the furniture mostly black and white, framed art prints on the wall to create colour. The only thing that seemed out of place was a red fleece blanket that had pooled on the black leather couch. Linda couldn't help but smile, knowing that her boss had a slight soft side that enjoyed this kind of small comfort.

She turned around to find that Claudia had taken off her coat and her shoes, making her about an inch and a half shorter than she had been in her heel. She held out her arm. "Can I take your coat?" she asked softly.

Linda nodded and shed it, handing it to Claudia along with her purse. She watched her boss briefly retreat to the front door to hang them from the coat rack. Then Claudia turned back to Linda. "So... how would you like to do this?"

If Linda had been more of a smartass she would have pointed out to Claudia that the whole thing was her idea. But even if she wasn't Claudia's mistress right now she was still the far more experienced woman, and her boss had just admitted, indirectly, that she would like Linda's guidance.

"Well..." she smiled as she walked towards Linda. She took the older woman's hands in her own, bringing them up to her lips and softly kissing along the knuckles. All the while she held eye contact. "That depends... would you like to sit and talk for a while? We could have another drink... or you could show me where your bedroom is..."

Claudia bit her lip and nodded, shivering a little. "I don't have any cherry coke in the fridge..." she smiled. "So..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Her left hand let go of Linda's right but she used the other to guide Linda along. The younger woman smiled and let herself be led, stepping out of her shoes as she followed Claudia's lead.

Their destination turned out to be a door that led straight to what she assumed was Claudia's master bedroom. As Claudia turned on the light Linda saw that the general aesthetic matched the living room, although it was a lot smaller than she had imagined. She was still taking it all in when Claudia released her hand and spoke up. "I'm just going to take a moment to change... I'll be right back."

Linda nodded, watching Claudia disappear into what she assumed to be a walk in closet. The older woman closed the door behind her, so Linda decided to take in the view. The far wall consisted of floor to ceiling windows, the view beyond the white gauze curtains surprisingly similar to the one from Claudia's office. All glittering lights, mostly yellow, with the occasional trail of red indicating cars on a road. Various street lights and signs interjected more colour in the scene. The flurries of snow that were still falling only added to the quality of the view. The fact that it was so similar to the view from Claudia's office at night, when she was mistress Linda and not the personal assistant, only added to Linda's fascination with what she saw.

She regarded her own reflection. Her hairdresser had done a wonderful job on coiling her hair into a bun, but she knew from experience that that same elaborate hairstyle would only distract her when she was rolling around on the bed with Claudia. She reached up, using her reflection in the window to guide her hand, plucking out the bobby pins until the bun came apart, her hair falling around her shoulders, the tension of being held in the bun for half a day enough to leave her with temporary ringlets.

She was so lost in the view that she didn't even realise that Claudia had returned, the door to the wardrobe sliding open silently as the older woman stepped out. Linda didn't realise she was back until the older woman placed a hand on her shoulder.

Linda turned around and was caught off guard. She was just barely allowed to take in the sight of Claudia out of her dress, wearing some wonderfully lacy underwear in a dark red colour that had clearly been picked out to complement the deep amber tone of her skin. Then she was deprived of that view by Claudia's hands coming up against her shoulders, pressing her into the gauze curtains. She felt her back pressed into the glass of the window. It was cool enough to make her shiver.