Aiming to Please

"Oh, sure. It's just that I thought it might be nice to get away for a few days. You know, actually take a vacation somewhere. Starting tomorrow. I know that's short notice and all and I'm sorry for not bringing this up sooner."

Mandy was heartbroken. That meant she'd done all of this for nothing. Her last several days would be spent here in Seattle while he and Breanna were off somewhere spending time together. Trying hard not to show her deep disappointment Mandy said, "That sounds wonderful. I'm sure Breanna will enjoy some time alone with her daddy."

Ethan tilted his head slightly and said, "I'm sorry. I just assumed you knew I meant that the three of us would go together. I can't imagine going somewhere without you."

Mandy's roller coaster ride of emotions took another steep climb after the short-lived crash. "Oh. I did misunderstand. I just assumed you'd be going without me," she said.

"Definitely not, Mandy. I've booked three tickets for the day after tomorrow. We'll gone for five days then return home. I even took the liberty of lining up an RN who needs some extra money to provide 24-hour care for your mom."

Mandy felt a warmth spread through her body that began somewhere between her legs. Could it be that her plan was working? Was he finally noticing her for herself? If he was, why hadn't he said anything to indicate that? Could this trip just be a coincidence? Was he taking her along just as the nanny? The roller coaster took another dip as she found herself at a loss as to what all of this meant.

"I'd also like you to do something for me. It's for you actually, but it's also kind of for me."

"Of course," she said as she finished her cigarette. For the first time ever, she reached for a second one as Ethan lit it for her.

He took out his wallet and handed her a gold credit card. "I'd like you to go shopping. For Breanna and for yourself." He waited to gauge her reaction then said, "Without giving away the suprise, we'll be going someplace warm but not hot. So please get her a few new things to wear and I'd like you to do the same for yourself. Consider it another kind of bonus."

"Ethan, that's really not necessary. I truly appreciate it but you don't have to do that."

"I want to," he said. "I don't tell you often enough how pretty you are and how much I love the way you dress. You always been an attractive young woman to me. It's just that the last few months you've changed. You've become...what? More...sophisticated? I'm not usually at a loss for words, but I'm having trouble expressing what I want to say so I'll just say I really like the changes."

Mandy was again on top of the world. Her heart was beating fast and that warm feeling was back. "So do you have a particular style in mind?" she asked as she exhaled another long stream of smoke.

"It's up to you, of course, but I love the things you've been wearing. Maybe those same kinds of things only either sleeveless or with short sleeves?"

She decided to be just a little big coy and said, "Along with the short skirts?"

Ethan didn't blush but she could tell she'd hit some kind of button. "I would like that very much. You would look amazing in a rib-knit top and a skater skirt, Mandy." He seemed to regret having been so specific and quickly added, "Not that I'm trying to say that's what you should buy. It's your call. Completely. Same for Breanna. I trust your judgment. In fact, I trust you completely with my little girl."

Mandy finished her second cigarette and this time she forced herself to smoke it all the way to the filter. She was so jazzed by this good news that she actually wanted to take the last two drags. After all, it was an investment.

When she got to the house that morning, she brought along two suitcases and set them by the door. Ethan saw her and said, "Wow! Don't you look nice!" Mandy was wearing a sleeveless, white, rib-knit top with a very short black skater skirt and black sandals.

Mandy thanked him for the compliment and for the clothes. He suggested she have a cigarette before leaving for the airport and he offered the same advice before they checked in. "It could be 3-4 hours before you'll have another opportunity," he warned her.

Once they went inside Sea-Tac airport, Ethan led them to the United check-in area and finally told them where they were going. He picked Breanna up and said, "Are you ready to go see...Mickey Mouse?"

Breanna took in a very deep breath and squealed, "We're going to Disneyland? Oh, Daddy! I love you SO much!" She threw her arms around her father and squeezed his neck oh-so tight.

Mandy was a little bit concerned about pretending to be a full-time smoker when the most she'd smoked in one day was two cigarettes and both of them in the evening with Ethan. The good news, at least from her perspective, was that she wouldn't be able to smoke in their room or in any restaurant thus reducing the number of times she would need to smoke to something manageable. Regardless, she was determined to pull this off and with any luck, well, who knew where things might go.

Once they landed and picked up their bags, they went outside and Ethan pointed to a sign and said, "You should be able to have a cigarette over there, Mandy. You've got be dying for one after four hours in the airport and the plane."

"Oh, definitely," she said even though she had no need whatsoever to smoke. At least not from any physical urge or craving. The only need was to keep the man she loved looking at her and interested.

Breanna had never seen her smoke before. When she lit up, the little girl said, "My mommy used to smoke, too. Before the bad men kilt her." She made a pouty face not because she understood death or what happened but because she missed her mommy.

"Does that remind you of your mommy, honey? Does it make you sad?"

"No," she said shaking her head. "It makes me happy to remember her."

Ethan smiled at Mandy as she quickly burned through her first cigarette in southern California. They checked into a five-star hotel and Mandy was simply amazed at the room. It was more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen except maybe for Ethan's home. There were no-smoking signs everywhere so Mandy knew she wouldn't have to smoke as much as she otherwise would. Or she thought that until Ethan said, "I made sure the hotel had a balcony where you could smoke. All you have to do is go right and there anytime you like."

She was so stunned she didn't know what to say. She looked outside then back at him and mumbled, "Um...that's perfect!" It had only been 45 minutes since her first cigarette and she definitely didn't feel like smoking again and he didn't press the issue. Ethan got everything put away then said, "I don't know about you, but I'm starved. Do you wanna get some lunch?"

All that day, Ethan turned out to be as attentive in every way as Mandy could have hoped. He was almost too attentive when it come to looking for opportunities to let her have a cigarette. As she was out on the balcony that night, she noticed there was only one left in the box. She'd started the day with 11. This was her 10th cigarette. No wonder her lungs hurt like hell! She'd quintupled the maximum number she'd ever smoked in one day and she hadn't had her first one until she got to Ethan's house. The thought of waking up and having to go outside first thing to smoke wasn't a pleasant one but what choice did she have? In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

Ethan had offered her her own room, but this one was huge with two king beds and there was even a thin divider that could be pulled between them. Therefore, she had a ready-made excuse to stay with him and of course, Breanna.

When she awoke the next morning, the aroma of freshly-brewed coffee filled the room. The next sensation she had was of someone having put a vice on her chest. "Oh, my God," she thought to herself. She knew she was supposed to wake up desperate for a cigarette. What she was desperate for was a break from smoking.

"Hey, sleepy head," Ethan said quietly. It was just after 8am. Breanna was worn out and still fast asleep. "I just brought back some fresh coffee."

She sat up and thanked him for it then looked at the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. "Care to join me?" he asked as he nodded toward the balcony.

"Oh. Yes, of course. I'm dying for a cigarette," she said bravely.

As she took her first drag, her lungs felt like they were on fire. It got slightly better after the second and was much less painful after the third.

"It's so...peaceful out here," Ethan said as they looked out from the balcony. "The birds are chirping, things are still." He paused and said, "And you're here with me. What more could I ask for?"

Mandy forgot about her own woes and let that roller coaster take her back to the top. She took a long, deep drag and held it in knowing Ethan was openly staring at her. "I'm so glad you came with us, Mandy."

Mandy exhaled, smiled, and told him, "There's no place I'd rather be than with my two most favorite people in the whole world."

"You know, I loved the things you bought for Breanna. She doesn't want to wear anything else. And I really like what you chose for yourself. I'm just so impressed with you, Mandy. I can't think of anything about you that I don't like." He saw her look down and away in a rather shy way. "Did that make you feel uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No, not at all. It was a very nice thing to hear, Ethan. Thank you for saying that and thank you for inviting me."

Mandy put the other pack of Virginia Slims she'd brought with her in her purse. She was sure that would be more than enough for the few days they'd be gone, but she could already tell she'd be out the next day at this rate. The thought of smoking that much again seemed like a daunting task, but based on the success she was having, it would be a very small price to pay for his continued attention.

That night, she noticed there were only eight cigarettes left in her pack. One from the other pack plus 12 more that day and she still had to go out on the balcony and have at least one more that evening. Ethan saw her checking and said, "Oh, I picked up a couple of packs for you today while you and Breanna were taking a nap." He sat them next to the other pack.

"Thank you, Ethan. That was so thoughtful of you," she willed herself to say.

"My pleasure. In every way," he added.

Mandy understood what he meant but didn't comment. By the time they left, she was well into the last pack. When they got back to his place that night, there were just five left in that pack and Mandy realized her lungs no longer hurt. In fact, shortly after she woke up that day, she found herself feeling almost like she was getting a headache. When she and Ethan went outside so she could smoke, the feeling went away. She'd had the same feeling again when they landed back in Seattle only it was more pronounced. It also went away once they got outside and she was able to smoke. She hadn't connected the two things until now when she realized she not only wanted to smoke, she was needing to smoke.

She was at the 30-day mark and while Ethan had been very kind and very sweet to her, there had been no romantic overtures. As she finished her 17th cigarette of the day, she felt like she was trapped between the proverbial rock and a hard place. If she didn't say something, he might never make a move. If she did, he might reject her and she'd be crushed and have to give notice.

Almost reflexively, she reached for another cigarette. After Ethan lit it for her, he said, "Mandy? May I speak directly?"

She exhaled and said, "Of course. After all, you are my boss, right?"

He smiled and said, "Technically, yes. But this isn't coming from your employer. It's coming from Ethan Davis; someone who needs to tell you something."

Mandy's heart rate quickened as she expected something bad. "I'm listening, Ethan Davis," she told him.

"Well, first of all, I need to fess up. I knew from the first time I came out with here with you that you didn't smoke. At least not regularly." Mandy was in the middle of a deep inhale when he told her he knew. She exhaled and asked him how he could tell. "It was they way you smoked. It was tentative and forced." He paused to watch her and said, "Not like it is now." He let her take another long hit from her cigarette then said, "Did you somehow find out I find women who smoke attractive? I won't be upset no matter how you learned my little secret. I'm just curious."

Mandy felt terrible. She sat there for a moment then looked over at him and confessed. "Oh, Ethan. I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, it's just that I came down to tell you Breanna wanted you to read to her and you were talking to someone and..."

"That's my older brother, Paul. He lives in Portland. We try to stay in touch, but it's tough, you know. He's a trial lawyer and he's as busy as I am. He's one of the only people who knows about my um...fetish."

"I also snuck into your study one day and looked at all the pictures of your wife."

"And you saw the one of her smoking."

Mandy couldn't even look at him. "Yes. And between those pictures and Connie...the way they both dressed and the fact that they both smoked, well..."

"That was very intuitive of you, Mandy. And for me, it was very important."

"How so?" she asked as she finally looked at him again.

"I'm not sure how much you heard me say, but I could never—and would never—ask any woman to start smoking for me. For that matter, I wouldn't even try and talk her into wearing what I like. But both of those things are critically important to me. I can't fully explain why. I just know they are. I only know I could never be happy with a woman who didn't enjoy willingly and happily doing both of those things."

"But didn't Abigail start because you asked her to?" Mandy asked with genuine interest.

"Eventually yes, she did. She was 27 when I finally told her about how much I love women who smoke. She was shocked at first but sympathetic. Even so, it was almost a year later before she agreed to try it."

"Why did she? Try it, I mean."

"Abigail was the kind of person who showed her love by giving and by doing. Many people say they love someone but don't really show it. Abigail was an 'all-in' kind of person whether it was her charity work or her marriage. She had a friend show her how so she could surprise me on my 29th birthday. I was so blown away that she was blown away by my reaction. We had a good love life, but this sent things through the roof for both of us. As time went on, the occasional cigarette before love making became one after dinner which became one after breakfast and lunch and before long, she was smoking quite a few every day. But the big change came the first day she woke up and said, "I need a cigarette! I followed her outside like a little puppy dog at 6am. She said that first cigarette that morning was the best she ever smoked although she also enjoyed the first one of the day the best of the 20-25 or so she smoked every day after that. She really, really enjoyed smoking and I loved watching her smoke and well, there was just nothing like kissing her after she'd just had a cigarette."

"Really? That seems so crazy. I'd think a guy would want his wife to brush her teeth first or use mouthwash to kill the taste."

"Oh, no. For guys like me, it's just the opposite. Kissing a girl who smokes is THE best part. Well, it's a tough call as to whether it's that or just watching her take a long, deep drag knowing how much she's enjoying it. Look, I understand the risks. Hell, I operate on bad hearts every day. Many are the result of damage done from smoking. But I'm a huge believer in individual freedom and if a woman chooses to smoke, then that's her right. I would never ask her to do so, but if she willingly chooses to, she should be able to make that choice."

"So tell me again how you knew so quickly I didn't smoke?" Mandy asked.

"That part was easy. If Abigail ever went more than an hour without one, but especially two or more, she became desperate. Her need to smoke was so strong it was overpowering. She'd inhale as deeply as she could taking two or three drags in a row. You barely drew on yours at all." He smiled and said, "That doesn't it mean it wasn't sexy as hell, though."

He sat there and stared at her before saying, "I wanted to say something else, too."

Mandy grabbed another cigarette and inhaled deeply. "I don't think I really need to ask this, but I would like to be sure I'm right."

"Go ahead," she said as she exhaled a very deep stream of smoke.

"Is it fair to assume I'm the mystery man whose attention you've been trying to get?"

Mandy smiled and said, "Was it that obvious?"

"Yes, but I wasn't 100% sure. Now that I am, I want to tell you that you most definitely have gotten my attention. Fully and completely. And since you confessed something, I need to do the same."

"Oh, really? Do tell, Dr. Davis," Mandy teased as she took a huge drag from her cigarette.

"I asked you to spend a few days with me...with us...to see if you really did want to smoke or not. As I said, I would never ask you or anyone else directly to smoke, but I was hoping it would give you the opportunity to smoke a lot more and give me the opportunity to see if my feelings for you were real."

"Feelings?" she said as butterflies filled her stomach.

"Yes, feelings. I told you I've always found you attractive, but until I felt comfortable that you were fulfilling my two unspoken needs on your own, I couldn't act on them. You see, I don't believe in the idea of a soul mate—this one and only one person destined to mine."

Mandy took another huge hit and asked why.

"Because a soul mate implies there's this one-and-only-one person out there waiting to be found. It almost invokes divine providence guiding them together, and I don't believe in divine providence. Rather, I believe there is a range of people with whom we can be happy. Within that group, some might be better suited than others, but for the most part, any of them would be a suitable husband or wife IF both of them are committed to love, marriage, raising children, etc. I am thoroughly committed to all of those things, but only with a woman who shares my values and who..."

"Enjoys smoking and dressing the way you like?" she said finishing his sentence.

"You see, you are intuitive. And beautiful. And very sexy. So now that I know you enjoy both of those things, you are in that range of women. In fact, you are right at the center of it."

Mandy felt herself blush ever so slightly as that warm feeling spread out from her very wet pussy to her legs and beyond.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those to me, Ethan."

"Mandy, as intuitive as you are, you have to know how I feel."

She finished her cigarette and put it out. "I know what I hope it is you feel, but I would much rather hear you tell me than have you make me guess."

He stood up and stood in front of her. He held out his hand and she took it. He helped her stand and as he looked down into her eyes he said, "I've fallen in love with you, Mandy Allen."

Mandy's heart was beating out of her chest. "And I've been in love with you for over a year, Ethan Davis."

He put his hands on her small shoulders and leaned down and kissed her for the first time. Mandy moaned softly and melted into his kiss. "Oh, my God, that was so...nice," she told him.

"Will you please stay with me tonight?" he asked as they broke their kiss.

"Yes," was all she could say as she stared into his eyes. "Yes, I will stay with you tonight or any night."

"Would you be willing to stay with me...every night?" he asked as he held her pretty face in his hands.

"I would," she said sincerely. "I promise."