All American Man

My man cave was state of the art and had all the toys one would expect a millionaire's playroom to have. I had four main TVs and could have four different games on simultaneously. I had two smaller TVs at the bar that could have two other games on. It was the best place in the neighborhood to watch the games.

The first two weeks of the season, I had my neighbors and some acquaintances over. I realized that I hated watching football in a crowd. I couldn't stand their shouting at the TV and the flat-out wrong analysis of the play calling. I decided that was enough of an experiment, and I'd watch them alone.

Kendall wanting to join me was welcome, however. She picked up a lot about the game from working for me and knew what she was talking about most of the time. Anya was the opposite. She never got football and avoided watching it at all costs. She would never stoop so low as to watch the games with me.

*****

I had a tablet I used for following my fantasy score. She used her laptop and her phone. With five games to follow, I understood why she needed the extra help.

For all the years she worked for me, we never watched games together. Mostly that was because I was playing in them, but even if I were home on a bye week, she never watched a game with me. I quickly regretted that; she was an absolute joy.

We sat on opposite recliners, yet we talked easily. She seemed to be watching the same games I was at the same time and would comment on bad calls or great plays. I knew she was knowledgeable, but she proved to be even more than I imagined.

As the day went on, my game against KenBaller was too close to call. We volleyed the lead back and forth and after the last game I was down 9 points. Kendall seemed to be on the edge of her seat for the Sunday night game and actually cheered when the tight end for the Arizona team scored a long touchdown to win the game.

Because of the way fantasy scoring worked, he got six for the touchdown, one for the catch, and three for the yardage, which gave him ten fantasy points.

"I take it you had him on one of your rosters?" I asked her painfully. KenBaller had him and that stole the small lead from me. I still had my kicker playing on Monday night, so I hadn't lost yet, but I needed a good night.

"You bet your cute ass I do," she said as she typed something on her phone. She continued, "I've got him on three teams."

Then she blushed and said, "Um, it's late. I think I'll take off."

She didn't wait for me to walk her to the door and hurried out. My tablet buzzed with a notification from KenBaller messaging me.

"Good luck, tomorrow. You're gonna need it."

I nodded in agreement. Yeah, I needed a lot of kicker scoring. If the team scored eight touchdowns and no field goals, my kicker could only get one point for an extra point for a maximum of eight points. Field goals were worth three up to 39 yards, and 40-yard field goals or more were worth four points. I needed field goals.

Kendall was quieter than normal on Monday, and I felt like she was trying to muster up the courage to talk about something. I was proven right just before the end of her workday.

"Johnny, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course," I said as I muted the TV. "What's up?"

"Johnny, I need an advance on my next paycheck if that's okay."

"Really? It's no problem, but is there something else going on? I can help..."

"No, I just need you to advance me a thousand. That will take care of everything. I'm sorry to ask."

She looked forlorn.

"Kendall, it's no problem. Grab it from the safe."

"Thanks," she said quietly and walked away.

I had a safe in the office that had a few grand in petty cash and some papers related to things that Kendall would need access to. She didn't have access to the bulk of my worth, but she had access to some cash and minor accounts and contracts.

I followed her into the office and asked, "Kendall, if I can help get you out of whatever trouble you're in financially, let me know. I'll take care of it for you."

A tear fell down her cheek and she said, "It's personal, Johnny. I'm sorry. You can't help me."

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I thought we were close enough that we didn't keep anything serious secret, but okay. I won't press you on it. The offer stands and I don't care what it costs."

I walked out and went to my basement to watch the football game. Kendall was acting weird, and I wondered what was so bad she couldn't tell me what was giving her financial trouble. I paid her well and she should have been able to live comfortably. I couldn't figure it out.

A half-hour later, she walked into the basement.

"Can we talk, Johnny?"

I stood and walked over to her. I held her hands and said, "You can tell me anything, Kendall."

A tear fell from her eye, and she pulled me towards the bar. I cringed as she took an expensive bottle of tequila and poured herself a shot for courage. That wasn't shooting tequila, but whatever.

She started, "You know my mom died before I came to work for you."

I nodded.

"Well, we never talked about my dad. He left us when I was fifteen."

"I'm sorry," I said.

She shook her head, "Don't be. It is what it is. Anyway, six months ago, a guy showed up on my doorstep with a picture of my dad beaten bloody."

"What!" I shouted.

"Wait, please," she begged. "It was a bookie from Chicago. It seems my dad owed them a lot of money and the only way they could figure to collect was to come after me."

"Because of me," I sighed. She nodded. "You should have told me, Kendall. I could've gotten the police, I could've given you the money, I would have done anything to help you."

She started sobbing, "I didn't want to get you involved with a bookie. I could never do that to you."

I sighed. I understood her hesitance. If anyone found out I paid off a bookie, I would have been tarred and feathered in the press.

"How much did you pay them?" I asked.

"I paid him all of my savings, which wasn't enough. It made him happy enough to let me pay the rest in installments. I'm done paying them as of last month."

"And your dad?" I asked.

"They let him go. He tried to talk to me, but I blocked his number."

"How much?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter, it's over now. I can start to save again."

"How much?" I wasn't about to let her not answer me again.

"Forty-five thousand."

"Jesus, Kendall. You never should have paid that."

"What was I going to do? I couldn't let them kill him."

"They wouldn't have killed him for that. It's too risky. They took advantage of you."

"I couldn't take that chance. He was an asshole, but he was still my dad and a human being. If you saw the condition he was in, you'd have done the same."

I sighed. "Kendall, let me give you that money."

"No way!" she shouted.

"Please. You shouldn't be in a position like this. At least let me give you something to build your savings back up. Call it a bonus."

"I won't take it, Johnny. It nearly crushed me to ask you for the advance."

I took her hand and said, "Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

"I know, I really do. You're a great guy. Look, I'm gonna go. I'm not in the mood for football tonight."

I hugged her and said, "You can crash in one of the guest rooms tonight. You know you're always welcome here."

She squeezed me tight then broke the hug. "I feel more welcome here than anywhere."

She kissed my cheek and hurried up the stairs. I shook my head in disappointment. I wished she let me help her.

I grabbed a bottle of water, some baby carrots, and sat down to watch the game. I looked at Instagram and saw Anya was posting photos of her at some dance club in Los Angeles. She was surrounded by her usual entourage of party girls and various men. I recognized some of them as players for the LA NBA team.

I let that go from my mind and sent a message to KenBaller. "I hope the $500 won't hurt too bad. I'm gonna burn it in my fireplace when I win." It was probably too much, but I didn't care. KenBaller was an asshole.

As the night went on, I never got a response from him. When my kicker kicked the game winning field goal to give my team, and his, the win by one point, I admit to giving paw to Butkus in lieu of a high five.

I messaged KenBaller and told him to send a check to my PO box. I figured that was the safest way to protect my anonymity.

Kendall walked into my kitchen the next morning and it was clear she was angry. She slammed a coffee cup on the counter and poured the coffee in so quickly I thought it would spill.

"What's the matter, Ken doll?" I cringed and wanted to scream at my stupidity. I already knew she wasn't in a good place with the money issue, and I called her by that name she hated. God! I was stupid sometimes.

"Wait! Kendall, I'm sorry, it just slipped out."

"Screw you. If you weren't my boss, I'd smack you right now."

She stormed out and shut herself into my office.

*****

We got back to normal after a few days, and a couple of weeks later, I found myself in first place in my division of our league. KenBaller was first in his division and was talking more crap than before.

I was having lunch with Kendall one day and mentioned how I was dealing with an asshole in my league's chat room. She laughed and said, "Some people like to troll. You've seen it on your social media. Some people like to get a rise out of people." She was about to add to that but held back.

I agreed and said, "Yeah, I bet the stupid fucker $500 bucks on our head-to-head. By the way, have you checked the PO box lately?"

She frowned and said, "Yeah. The stack of mail is still on your desk."

"Okay," I said. I thought it was odd that she didn't mention seeing $500 dollars being received. "Take the $500 bucks the asshole sent me and round it up to $5000. Give it to a women's shelter in the name of my fantasy football league."

"What is the name of your fantasy football league," she whined. "You never told me anything about it."

"Sorry, it's called 'He Man Woman Haters Club,' like the..."

"Yeah," she groaned, "The Little Rascals. Real funny."

She turned back to the computer and ignored me as I sat at my desk. Something was odd but I chalked it up to my knowing about the problem with her dad. I knew she'd never elaborate on what it was.

*****

Week fourteen of the pro football league's season was the first week of the fantasy league's playoffs. KenBaller and I had a first-round bye as the division champions, so we didn't play. Kendall had some teams playing and she wanted to watch the games with me.

Things had been different with Kendall for the previous weeks. It was like she was ashamed to be around me. The banter we shared was mostly gone and it was more business-like than it was in the first few months she was with me before she got comfortable.

I hoped she didn't regret the advance I gave her. She was pissed for a bit when I didn't tell my accountant about it. When she saw her next check didn't deduct the amount, she gave him an earful, then I got it from both of them.

When she asked if she could watch the games with me that week I was ecstatic. I had been watching them mostly alone in my basement, except twice when my mother visited. I love my mother, but a football fan she is not. She even started flipping channels to some gardening show on one of my TVs the last time. I politely asked her to not visit on Sunday anymore during the football season. She laughed and agreed it would be better if she visited with her sister.

Kendall walked into my man cave and tossed me a tin of my favorite cheat snack, Garrett's Chicago Mix popcorn. Caramel, and cheese popcorn mixed in one. It's heavenly. I know it's called Garret's Mix now, but it'll always be the Chicago Mix to me.

"Hey! Thanks. What's the occasion?" I asked as I opened the tin of bad for me goodness.

"I've been...um...bitchy, the last few weeks. I'm sorry."

She looked sad and I felt horrible for whatever was causing her pain.

"Don't worry about it," I smiled. "C'mon, tell me who you've got playing today."

After that, she was back to her old self, and we were back to our old comfortable relationship. It was more fun than I'd had in ages.

Anya was hardly around by then. She signed a contract with a vodka company and was going to be the face for their next ad campaign. I was glad for her. She worked hard...sorry, I can't say that. She did absolutely nothing and fell into it from a combination of her looks, personality, and my fame. It still shocked me that she was able to make a career off of club hopping and social media posts, but whatever. Her latest thing was posting edited videos of her changing outfits on Tik Tok. Just changing clothes. Again, whatever. I was seeing less and less of her, and I realized I wasn't missing her.

Kendall was talking about her teams when she said something that jarred me. "Next week is the big week. I just hope Smith, Jackson, and Allen are healthy for my big money league."

My head snapped over, and she stuttered, "Um, do you think Marcellus Jackson will be healthy?"

KenBaller had Smith, Jackson, and Allen on his team. All of whom were injured. He had Davis Jackson though, not Marcellus Jackson. Davis Jackson was the best tight end in the league and had an ankle injury. Marcellus Jackson was a third string receiver, and no one played him in fantasy football.

I must've glared at her for too long. She repeated her question.

I couldn't believe it. She couldn't be KenBaller.

"Even if he were healthy, why would you play him, let alone have him on your roster?" I asked.

"He's not that bad," she sighed and went to get a drink.

"Yes, he is."

I texted Dan and asked if our league had any ladies in it. He responded that there weren't. I supposed it could have been coincidence that she had the same three guys as KenBaller. I suppose it could have been a coincidence that they shared a name. Plenty of teams had byes that week, it could've been a coincidence that she had a bye in her big money league with the same players. But I also knew it was possible to play the league anonymously, as I was doing the same thing. I had to find out if she were he.

"Hey, Kendall. Who's your quarterback on your big money league?"

"What?" she asked stalling. I knew she heard me.

I repeated, "Next week. Your quarterback."

"Rozner and Woods."

I couldn't prove anything either way. I knew she stalled to think of an answer. I had to find a way to figure it out. I couldn't believe she would say the things she said about me during the draft. I couldn't believe she was that much of an asshole all season long. It couldn't be her.

I wondered why she would try to cover up who her players were, but then I remembered, if she were KenBaller, she would know I was in her league because she had to pay me the $500 for the bet. That's when I realized all of our issues started at the time of that bet. It wasn't just the advance. She realized I was in her league and knew what she'd been saying.

I understood why the situation would have upset her when I pressed her on why she needed the advance. She didn't want to tell me it was to cover a bet and then she found out it was a bet with me.

There had to be some way I could find out for certain.

*****

I was drinking a smoothie the morning of the fantasy league championship and was looking forward to kicking KenBaller's ass when Kendall walked in and started making coffee. I was certain KenBaller was Kendall, but with Al and Dan confirming that although they didn't know him, they knew he was a man and there were no women in the league, I was stumped.

Before I could talk with her about it, Anya breezed into my kitchen.

"Knock, knock," she chirped.

Kendall looked at me and that was the moment Anya air kissed me. Kendall turned and walked out of the room.

"Johnny, darling. I have a photo shoot in Moscow this week. Come with me."

I laughed, "Moscow? Russia? Are you nuts?"

"It'll be fun," she countered.

"No way. You'll never see me setting foot in a communist country."

"Oh, pooh," she whined like a child not getting their way. I was getting annoyed.

She continued complaining about it a few more minutes, I finally got tired of it and said, "Anya, there's no way I am going to Russia. That is the end of the discussion."

She glared at me and said, "Well, fuck you then. I'll find a Boris or Vladimir over there to satisfy me."

She turned and sped towards the door, I yelled, "Hey! If you so much as touch another person, we're done."

I was shocked when she walked back to me and said, "Then I guess we're done."

I couldn't believe what she said. I watched her and she continued, "If that's your standard, we were done months ago."

"You cheated on me?" I shouted.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Yep. Found a couple of pro basketball players. They were way bigger than your pathetic little wienie."

She turned and sashayed out of my life. I couldn't figure out what happened. I couldn't believe she cheated on me. I fell into the chair behind me as a stared out the window of my back door.

"That was strange," Kendall said from behind.

"I can't believe she cheated on me."

Kendall walked around me and put her hand on my shoulder, "Your mom will be happy. You deserve better."

"It's not funny. I was just dumped. I don't get dumped."

She laughed and said, "Whatever, football star. Go out and pick up the next bubble headed bottle blonde you see. You'll have no problem getting a new slut to waste your time--even with your little wienie."

She laughed harder and walked away. I yelled, "It's not little."

She turned and said, "I know." She winked and walked out the front door.

How in the hell did she know, I wondered? Why did I care?

Notifications popped up on my phone over and over. It didn't take Anya five minutes to make social media posts calling me every name in the book. She lied about why she dumped me, telling everyone that I was a cheater, and she was tired of being crapped on. She tried to make herself look like the broken-hearted sweetheart of America.

I decided to do something I never would have done if I were still an active player; I made my own social media video to counter Anya's.

"Hey, everyone," I started. "I ended my relationship with Anya this morning because she told me she intended to cheat me when she went on her upcoming photo shoot to Russia. She also told me that she had cheated on me before with some pro basketball players. I'm sure you guys can look into her social media feeds and see when she was out with them. I never cheated on her; I don't have it in me to do that. I believe in monogamy. I would have rather this break-up been handled privately, but she clearly doesn't have the maturity to do so. I wish her the best, and I hope she finds whatever happiness she is looking for."

The dueling videos went viral and then Kendall did something without asking my permission. She posted a video, I did not know she took, of the last bit of my conversation with Anya. It didn't have it all, but it had Anya's telling me she cheated on me. Even though it supported my side, it was an invasion of my privacy that went beyond my boundaries. I was furious with Kendall. Thankfully, she edited out Anya saying I had a small dick.

I sent her a text, "Get back to my house ASAP."

I was hurt that she would do something like that and wondered what else she was recording in my house without my knowledge.

My rage flowed to the forefront as I paced the kitchen. How could she do that to me? I trusted her with my most secret information. I didn't have any skeletons in my closet, but she overheard conversations I had with other players and coaches. She had my bank account information for Christ's sake.

Why was I madder at her than Anya?