All The Young Punks Pt. 12

The school did the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. Joe spoke every word except two - under God. The Friday before a national holiday, Mrs Janey played the National Anthem or God Bless America in place of the pledge.

In a subsequent office visit, he witnessed Mrs Janey remove the tape from her desk drawer and place it near the cassette player. When she left the room, he looked at the tape. It was a common sixty-minute Memorex cassette with the national anthem on one side and Kate Smith on the other. He'd been holding this intel for more than three years, as well as other vital information.

On the Friday before Memorial Day, after attendance was taken, every student in the building was standing beside their desk, hands on hearts, facing the star-spangled banner. Kate Smith broke into God Bless America. The song went as expected until she got to the end of the first chorus. When she sang, 'Home sweet home', a drumbeat began. '

Joe watched his homeroom classmates' faces, first confused, sharing glances, and then smiling as that beat launched into a different anthem. When Joey Ramone began singing -

"Rock rock rock rock rock 'n' roll high school

I don't care about history, rock rock rock 'n' roll high school

'Cause that's not where I want to be, rock rock rock 'n' roll high school

I just want to have some kicks, I just want to meet some chicks

Rock rock rock rock rock 'n' roll high school."

- every classroom in Central High School erupted in laughter and dancing. Joe stood at his desk with a cat-ate-the-canary grin on his face. Several classmates looked toward him, assuming he was the guerrilla who planted the bomb that blew up their school morning.

The best part of the prank was the intel he learned casing the school office. Mrs Janey always used the faculty ladies' room after morning announcements or while the anthem played. The purpose of having Kate Smith sing the first verse and the chorus was to give her time to cross the corridor and reach the toilet.

When the drums kicked in, Joe assumed her panties were at her ankles, because the song kept playing. By the time Vice Principal Reed realized she was not in her office to kill the Ramones, the school had over forty seconds of punk rock in every room, cafeteria, library, and gymnasium. Kids arriving late heard it outdoors. More than two thousand students enjoyed happy chaos. Reed ran from his office to intervene. He struggled to stop and pop the tape. Everyone heard him cursing over the classroom speakers, "Goddamnit! Son-of-a-bitch!" - then silence.

Mrs. Janey squawked at Reed, caught by the PA, "Joe Theroux was in here, after school yesterday, snooping around."

Mr. Reed composed himself. "Joe Theroux, report to the office... immediately."

Joe's classmates clapped as he left the room. When he reached the office, Reed, Janey, and Miss Murray were waiting for him. He strutted with pride, took a seat, and didn't speak a word. Reed berated him for a minute. When he ran out of breath, the three of them stared at Joe, waiting for him to say something.

"It was a harmless joke," he said. "Every student is smiling right now. No one got hurt." He smiled. "And you don't have to repaint the goalposts."

"For this tomfoolery," Mr. Reed said, "you get three hours with Mr. Cardoza. Don't ever pull this crap again, Theroux."

"I can't do detention today. My band has a thing to do. I'll see Jock Itch on Tuesday."

"If you don't show up today, you can make that a week."

"There's only a week and a half of school left."

Miss Murray snickered at his nickname for the muscular gym teacher who was the warden of detention, and dumber than a goalpost. Outside the office, Joe smiled at her.

"Can you believe I'm getting three days detention for... tomfoolery?"

She shook her head. "You couldn't do it, could you? You avoided trouble all year but you couldn't make it to the end."

"Hey, this is a misdemeanor. A week of listening to Cardoze-off babble stupidly is not an appropriate sentence. No one got hurt and there's no property damage."

"You can serve only three days if you show up today."

Joe sighed, "I know. But that's gonna be tough."

The following Tuesday, a group of senior jocks broke stink bombs all over the school, in more than a dozen classrooms, the cafeteria, the library, in corridors, near the front office, and even the locker room they use... because they're idiots. The stench of rotten eggs lingered into the following day. Some kids used the foul smell as an excuse to go home sick. By comparison, Joe's prank was small, but the entire school got to enjoy hearing Vice Principal Reed cuss over the PA, and no one suffered.

--- THE HOMESTRETCH ---

In the weeks leading up to graduation, Joe planned for the summer season and life after high school. Last summer they played gigs along the Rhode Island shore. Those were some of the best shows the band had. That's how Joe envisioned the upcoming summer of '79.

Joe sat at the kitchen table in the garage late on a Saturday afternoon, the day after Rock & Roll High School, flipping through a guide to New England colleges he picked up at the Brown University bookstore. He was waiting for Claire to arrive.

Sal, Pops, Nate, and John Bucci Senior were waiting on the starting gun for the Preakness Stakes. Sal had recently bought a new RCA 19-inch Colortrak television. Johnny didn't care about horse racing. He was reading nearby while Joe worked.

"I have June and most of July booked," Joe said. "I have five dates set for the week after graduation, all the beach bars."

"Five shows in one week?" Johnny looked up from his magazine. "That's a lot."

"We did that a few times last year."

"Yeah, and it was hard."

"It won't be five shows every week. I'm just trying to get us re-established in the beach clubs. I have another five-show run set up around the Fourth of July."

"What bars?" Sal asked.

"The same places, from Newport to Westerly."

"Same old shit," Johnny said. "I thought you were looking for new clubs."

"I'm working on it. I'm looking for Connecticut beach bars so we can just keep driving west playing the coast."

"I thought the focus was college towns?"

"It is," he gestured to his college guide. "but we won't need them until fall, after the beaches close. That's when we'll expand our turf up north."

"How far do we have to go?" Sal asked. "We're putting a lot of miles on Pop's van."

"I don't know, all of New England? We're stashing cash for gear, and maybe we'll need a new ride someday."

Sal walked over to the lounge area to watch the race. One year before, Pops and Johnny Bats won a nice little haul betting on Affirmed. They bet on each of the Triple Crown races. What Pops later regretted was not making the triple crown bet before the Derby. He bet race by race. This year, prior to The Derby, he and Johnny bet on Spectacular Bid to win the Triple Crown.

Spectacular Bid won the Kentucky Derby. The Preakness was the second race for the crown. They were glued to the television, beers in hand, watching the horses being walked and loaded into the starting gate.

When Claire arrived, she waved at the horse-racing spectators and walked over to Joe. First, she stood, observing. She eyeballed the two empty bottles in front of Joe and one in his hand. She then sat beside him.

"Day drinking, huh? After last night?"

Joe ignored the rhetorical questioning. Claire flipped the cover to see what he was reading. She furrowed her brow.

"Are you looking at colleges?"

"Yes."

Her face bore a look of confusion, "It's a little late for that. I thought you..." She looked at his notes and a map laid out on the table. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for college towns to find more gigs."

"Oh, I get it. Of course. Silly me. I thought you were thinking of going to college."

"Fuck no. There are so many small schools in New England and I don't know where they are. I'm using this guide to map out possibilities. Joe gestured to the road map."

"How does this lead to a gig?"

Joe exhaled. "I'll call the numbers listed for these schools and maybe a helpful person will tell me where the students hang out in town. Then I can look up the bars. Sal and I are planning a road trip to New Hampshire and Vermont to check some out. If this works, we'll have new gigs to play this fall."

The gun went off and the race was underway. Sal and Nate leaned close to the TV. Pops was on the edge of his seat. John Senior stood behind the sofas.

"This is a lot of work," Claire said. "and you have no idea if these places are any good."

"How else can I do this? I saw this at the bookstore and had a Eureka moment. If I get five new venues from this book, it's worth my time and expense."

The 1979 Preakness had a small field of five and Spectacular bid went off at 1 to 9. So big a favorite you can't make a buck unless you bet big. Pops didn't care. He wanted glory as much as cash. From the start, it was a two-horse race as General Assembly and Spectacular Bid ran away from the field. Pops was now on his feet.

"How were you feeling this morning?"

"Fine. Why?"

"You passed out last night," Claire pointed at the porn sofa. "Right there."

"I fell asleep."

"Feel asleep," she chuckled. "After how many beers and shots?"

"So what? I woke up fine, had some of Pop's ravioli for breakfast, walked home to shower and hang with my sisters, came back, and went straight to work. What's the problem?"

"Don't get defensive. I was just wondering how you were feeling."

After the second turn, the pack of three horses began closing in on the leaders. Pops was now hopping up and down, practically screaming. Joe smiled and nudged Claire. "Hey Pops! That's as much exercise as I've ever seen you get."

"Shut up, kid!" The pack caught the leaders on the backstretch. Going into the third turn it was anyone's race. "C'mon, you fucking nag!" Pops shouted. "Get the lead out of your ass!"

Claire was glad Joe had changed the subject. "I heard a rumor that you're planning a big graduation party."

"Yup. We bought a PA system and were setting up for an outdoor show." He smiled. "It's gonna be epic."

Sal and Nate leaped to their feet as the pack entered the final turn. They were jumping up and down, three men doing the pogo yelling at horses running three hundred and sixty miles away. John Senior put his hands on the back of the sofa, leaning into the race. Spectacular Bid made the final move around that turn and had the lead entering the homestretch. Pops was spitting as he shouted.

"Pops!" Joe yelled. "You're gonna have a damn stroke!"

"Tell me about the party plans," Claire said.

"Just a party like we always have, pizza and beer, but we'll do it outdoors so we can have more guests."

Down the homestretch, Spectacular Bid pulled away from the field, leaving them in the dust. Pops was losing his mind, arms flailing, with Sal and Nate along for the ride. John Senior remained cool. That's when Joe realized Johnny got his chill demeanor from his old man. The Derby winner crossed the line eight lengths ahead, winning the second jewel in the crown. The four men went nuts. Joe enjoyed watching them far more than the race.

When the commotion died down, the betting men watched the ABC Sports replay and then joined Joe, Johnny, and Claire in the kitchen... all smiles.

"So, Pop's," Joe said. "At one to nine odds, how much did you win?" He smirked. "You must be rollin'."

Pops ignored him.

"How much did you put down? Ten grand would win you what... eleven hundred? Did you go big?"

Pops ignored him.

Johnny Bats smiled at Joe, shaking his head... no. He put up two fingers.

"Twenty grand to win two grand?"

Bats nodded.

"Have you ever considered that you might have a gambling problem?"

"Only the ponies," Johnny Bats said. "He loves going to the track. When they closed Narragansett Park last year, he was crushed, but it was a blessing."

"Are you that bad at the ponies, Pops?"

"Shut up, kid! I just won two grand."

--- COMFORTABLY NUMB --

Joe was having an amazing time with Claire. For three months she fucked him every chance they had and he was enjoying her attention. There were moments he felt as if he was in an altered state after sex. As great as that was, he was having a difficult time keeping his expectations under control and his heart in check. Their deal had not changed but he found it hard to believe her passion was not based on love.

This struggle, as well as his feelings about Sandy, and his conflicting thoughts about girls on the road, put Joe in a confused state of mind through the spring. On the surface, he seemed okay, hanging out with his road girls when he played in their towns and being Claire's boy toy at home.

Joe was skilled at concealing his feelings. Years of therapy taught him to control or even cage his demons. But his mask didn't change what lurked inside. For the first time, he resorted to self-medication. Claire was the one who told Sandy Joe was drinking too much. It wasn't directly, Sandy was on the periphery of the conversation.

He was never a big drinker and rarely got drunk. That's why his benders stood out. He'd have a few beers and maybe smoked a joint, but he insisted on maintaining control. He had a job to do at these clubs. He wasn't going to blow it on booze. Also, he'd seen enough drunk people make fools themselves and never wanted to be that guy.

April and May were as close to a binge as Joe had ever been on. He drank every day, usually within his limits, and never drunk on stage, but once he went off the clock he didn't care. There were a few stumbling drunk incidents in April and several more in May. Claire witnessed two of these overly inebriated moments but most of his benders happened on the road. Last night was just a nod-off with a warm beer in his hand at 2:45 AM night.

After one of his pass-outs at the garage, Joe woke on the sofa the next day hungover, popped open a beer for breakfast, then walked home. Mom got in close for her sniff test.

"You stink. What did you do all night, drink at that garage?"

Joe leaned even closer and breathed on his mother. "Just a few beers."

She demanded answers. "What are you doing all night? Why didn't you come home? I don't like you staying out. I don't know what you're doing but I know it's not good."

"It's not bad, either. I'm fine, and I'm eighteen, Mom. I don't owe you an explanation. I fell asleep on the sofa. And now I'm home."

Joe wasn't drunk, but that breakfast beer turned his hangover into a morning after re-buzz. She knew he wasn't sober. Mom carried on, as she does, on and on, not letting it go. Joe glanced behind Mom to see Jeanie and Jules eavesdropping in the other room. He smiled and winked at them.

Mom's eyes got wide. "Are you mocking me?"

"Mom! Stop! I'm okay and I'm home. So I stayed out. Who cares? I'm eighteen and it'll all be over soon. You won't have to worry about me anymore."

"I'll always worry about you," she said, her hands shaking from the emotions. "You make bad decisions. You don't go to church anymore, you drink beer, and that band... I don't know what you think that nonsense will amount to. I wish you wouldn't hang out with those older boys. They're trouble."

"They're not boys."

"Exactly, but you are. There's nothing good going on in that garage. You're gonna get in trouble with those men." She stared at him. "I will always worry because you give me reasons to."

"Goodnight, good day, whatever." He waved a dismissive hand. "I'm going to bed."

"Hey, Joey," Jules said. "Are you taking us to the museum today? You promised."

Joe looked at his sisters and saw the hope in their eyes. He then looked up at the kitchen clock. It was 7:40. "Wake me at ten. I'll shower and we'll catch the bus."

After taking them to lunch at Haven Brothers, Joe escorted Jules and Jeanie to the RISD Museum of Art and Natural History. When he was a kid, his grandparents took him there twice. He loved it. He passed that down to his sisters, and they loved it too. He was happy to see them excited about learning... even as he suffered through his lingering hangover.

---- THE FINAL COUNTDOWN ---

During exam week, Joe was preoccupied with graduation party planning. He didn't study for his exams. His grades were fine, but not outstanding, and he knew he'd pass his finals and graduate. These exams were a mere formality, a speed bump between him and his future.

When Joe's sisters learned of the graduation party, Julie ran to Mom with the information. Joe was testing her, to see if Jules was getting over her spy and informant stage. He planted a falsehood to see if she would tell Mom. She did, and Mom confronted Joe.

"What's this about you not attending your graduation ceremony? This is a big occasion for us too. You're the first grandchild. We're celebrating with Nana and Memere."

Joe had prepared a reply, "That's your problem. I promised you I would graduate. I didn't say anything about walking. I'm done. I have no interest in the lame, bourgeois convocation."

Mom stared at him, she didn't know if he was serious. "And what's this about a big party you're having that night?"

"Yeah, we're expecting three hundred kids at this show. I can't back out."

"I asked that you make no plans on graduation night. Your grandmothers are more important than your punk friends."

"And I didn't say one way or the other." he shrugged. "Sorry, I have other plans."

Jackie looked up at Joe as she chopped veggies. Joe smiled at her. She knew he was just winding Mom up, and Mother sensed it too.

"You wouldn't deny me this big night. I don't believe you. You're just doing what you do, tormenting me."

"We have six kegs of beer, dozens of pizzas on order, and Pops is cooking. He's filling the fridge and freezer with meatballs and sausage and all kinds of stuff. The party is on."

"We made reservations at Andino's. It's your favorite. Your grandmothers are coming here Friday, and you'll be here."

"But Pops is cooking Italian. Have Memere and Nana come to the garage and we can have dinner there." Joe smirked at Jackie again. "They could even stay for the party."

Jackie snickered. She knew the facts and enjoyed watching her big brother pull Mom's strings.

"Your grandmothers are not going to that garage. They'd die a thousand deaths."

"It's a garage, Mom, not a strip club."

"I don't know what goes on there, but I know it's not good, and it's no place for your grandmothers, me... or your sisters." Mom shifted her eyes to Jackie. "So, don't you get any ideas about going to this party."

That was enough to break Jackie, "Mom, Joe's party is on Saturday. He's just messing with you. Everything is fine for Friday night."

Mom stared at Joe. "Why would you make me worry like this?"

"I never said the party was Friday. You believe everything Jules tells you and when you start on me I just let you go."

"I'm going to the show, Mom." Jackie declared. "This is my big brother's party. I'm not missing it." Her hands went to her hips. "I've never seen his band!"

"You are not going to that garage." Mom's hands found her hips. It was a showdown. "That's no place for a good girl."

"That's for sure," Joe said under his breath.

Jackie punched him. "You're not helping." She turned to Mom. "I'm going to the party and you can't stop me. I want to see his band."

This is where Joe felt he was most useful to his oldest sister. Jackie was cool, but she was a bit of a goody-two-shoes, with the church-going and the excellent grades and always being helpful around the house. Joe liked to encourage his sister's rebellious side. Jackie had an independent streak and Joe felt she didn't show it enough.

"We'll see about that." Mom barked back. "I'll have a talk with your father about this. He'll be home all day Saturday, and as of right now, you're grounded."