All The Young Punks Pt. 26

---- The next two parts will be posted back-to-back. They're long chapters connected by the holiday season bringing an end to 1979 and leaving Joe with a resolution for the New Year. ----

Joe arrived home to find the house empty. He checked all the rooms, took a drink from a carton of orange juice in the fridge, and went down to his room. When he opened the door, he found two missing sisters.

"What the hell are you doing?" he said.

Jules lay on his bed with a book. Jeanie sat on the floor with his headphones listening to records.

"I'm reading."

Jeanie pulled the headphones off. "Hi. I didn't know you were coming home today."

"Where's Mom and Dad?"

"They took Jackie to a doctor's appointment," Jeanie replied.

"Is she okay?"

Both girls shrugged. The fact both Mom and Dad accompanied his sister to a doctor's appointment set off an alarm inside Joe.

"Why are you hanging out here... in my room?"

"I dunno," Jules said. "It's quiet down here."

"Yeah," Jeanie smiled. "It's nice and quiet."

"The house is empty. It's quiet everywhere... and if you have headphones, it doesn't matter."

He threw his duffel bag on his bed and began pulling out clothes that needed laundering. It didn't escape Joe that neither sister made a fuss about him coming home. There were no hugs. He didn't feel good about it. Jeanie opened his leather backpack.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Joe pulled it away.

"I'm checking to see if you bought us something?"

Joe reached into a side pocket and pulled out a map. He handed it to Jules.

She smiled. "A subway map?"

"Yeah, it's the whole New York Transit System. I thought you might like it."

"I do."

"What did you get me?" Jeanie asked.

Joe handed her a miniature Statue Of Liberty on a keychain. It fit in the palm of her hand.

Jeanie smiled, "Thanks. What did you get Jackie?"

"More of those bangle things she likes."

When the rest of the family arrived they were surprised to see Joe. After the greeting, he pulled Jackie aside.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why did Mom and Dad take you to a doctor?"

"I had a checkup, that's all, lady stuff. Dad had to go to the DMV." Jackie stared at Joe. "We have one car. We always combine errands. You know that."

"Sorry."

"Were you worried about me?" Jackie smirked.

"Yeah. A little. That's why I asked."

"You always worry about us." She leaned against him as she often did.

"Yes, I do."

Joe did worry about his sisters and now that was home less often he felt he was no longer watching over them as he had for years. Ever since Janie's death, Joe had been a vigilant brother, keeping his sisters safe and cared for. He didn't like not knowing their day-to-day lives. He worried.

It seemed the family had adjusted to his not being around. It didn't feel like the same house he grew up in, because in some ways it wasn't. Joe couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. He didn't want to live at home, but he missed home. He wanted to move on with his life without losing his old life.

After dinner, Mom found Joe on the front porch. He was staring at the street where the worst day of his life happened. There was a time when Joe wished Dad would sell this house so he could get away from the scene. Joe looked out at Mom's Catholic shrine on the front lawn.

"Mary on the half shell needs paint," he noted. "She's looking a little ragged."

"Are you volunteering?"

"I didn't say that."

Mom sat on her wicker chair. "Don't be upset the girls are using your room."

"I'm not upset. I'm just surprised they moved in so easily."

"It's because they miss you. Jackie sits on your bed and reads your magazines. Julie reads your books. Jeanie's been sleeping in your room. She listens to your records and dozes off. She asked me to never wash your pillowcase because it smells like you. Then Julie did it a couple of times. They hang out in your room because it's what they have of you when you're gone."

"Yeah. It wasn't hard to figure out. It's fine, as long as my stuff has a place and they take care of it."

"They do. It's their Joey museum."

"Whatever. They didn't seem too excited to see me."

"Everyone's adjusting," Mom put her hand in his. "Including you."

Joe was beginning to trust his mother again. It had been so long since he felt that way. Before Janie's death, he was her perfect little boy. They'd been through a lot since. So many things were changing, some for the better. Being home felt like being home never felt before.

---- CODEPENDENCY ---

Joe arrived at the garage mid-morning after he helped Mom get the girls off to school. Sal and Pops were in the kitchen, and Nate was lying on the couch.

"Hey, look what the cat dragged in," Pops said. "I just made a fresh pot. You want a cup?"

"Sure," Joe said. "Where's Johnny?"

"He's at his girlfriend's house," Sal said.

"Johnny has a girlfriend?"

"Yeah. I guess he's known her for a while. They hooked up a while back."

"So what's the deal on the next road trip?" Nate asked.

"We're playing The Living Room Thursday," Joe said as Pop's handed him a Red Sox mug of black coffee. Joe was thinking about Johnny's girlfriend.

"Where do we go after that?"

"Boston, Worcester, Springfield, and the new clubs in upstate New York."

"Are we going to the city?"

"Yes. We'll play the four boroughs last." Joe was distracted by a mystery character that just entered his life... Johnny's girlfriend.

"How many nights are we playing?"

"We have twelve gigs over sixteen days. That includes three weekends."

"Cool."

"So," Pops stood beside Joe. "How did the 95 plan work out?"

"I was good," Joe said, still distracted by his thoughts.

"We're gonna have to get to work on getting an RV," Sal said. "Being away for that long, the van doesn't cut it."

"I'll call my guy on route 44," Pops said. "He has lots of used RVs, big and small. Reggie's had tour buses on his lot."

"We don't need that," Joe said abruptly. "Not yet." He couldn't shake what troubled him. "So what's the deal with Johnny's girlfriend?"

"I don't know," Sal said. "They go to the clinic together."

Joe felt his chest tighten, he eased his way down to take a seat on the sofa. He stared at Sal in disbelief. After an audible breath, he spoke softly to not reveal what he was feeling inside. "You're telling me that Johnny has a junkie girlfriend, and you don't see a problem with that?"

Sal didn't see a problem. "I think him having a girlfriend is a good thing."

"Not a fucking drug addict!" Joe popped up off the sofa, suddenly animated. "Jesus Christ, Sal. Do you know what codependency is?"

"No."

He talked fast, pacing the parlor, in a manic moment. "She increases the chances of Johnny failing. What if she decides to get high? Now we have to worry about her recovery because if she relapses, Johnny goes down too. I cannot believe you guys couldn't put your heads together and figure that out. What's her name?"

They both shrugged.

"So you haven't met her? " Joe's arms went up. "That's fucking perfect."

"What's codependency?" Nate asked.

Joe paced, then stopped, looking down at Nate on the porn sofa. "I went to the library and read more than I should on addiction and recovery. I just needed to learn some shit. When I read about codependency, it was like they were describing that creepy couple in 1B. Addicts feed off each other."

Sal defended Johnny. "He's keeping his doctor's appointments and going to the clinic."

"Is it a methadone clinic?"

"Yes, " Nate answered. "I think Johnny was on that, at the very beginning."

"What's her drug? Was she a heroin addict too?"

Sal became annoyed. "How the hell do we know? What's your problem?"

"I filled my head with too much information, and now I know what to look for. That girlfriend is gonna be a problem. Where does she live?"

"South Providence," Nate said.

"Of course," Joe raised his arms again. "Where else would a junkie live?"

Sal and Nate insisted Joe was overreacting. Joe paced the garage again. They claimed Johnny had been seeing his mystery addict girlfriend since he went back to the clinic with no sign of trouble. The fact Johnny never once mentioned that he had a girlfriend was enough to trouble Joe. He stopped pacing, exhaled slowly, and sat back down. Maybe he was being paranoid.

He sat, quietly looking straight ahead. "I need to meet this girlfriend. I have to see her."

"Why?" Sal asked. "What business is it of yours?"

"I wanna see if we have our own Sid and Nancy."

Joe would not meet Johnny's girlfriend. He found it strange that none of the guys mentioned this woman during the last road trip. They busted Joe's balls about him calling Tina every day but never mentioned that Johnny had a girl back home. Joe was certain they all knew she was a problem and chose to hide it from him.

---- ROUTE 90 TOUR ---

The Turnpike Tour started in Boston where Joe would see Kelly for the first time in many months. She walked up on him near the bar, as the band acquired beers for the stage.

"I can't believe I missed your show here last month. I just spaced out." She put her arms around Joe's neck and kissed him. "I really missed you. I heard you spent the whole summer in New York." Joe kissed back, but it was a courtesy kiss, not wishing to embarrass her with a rejected advance. Joe then realized this might be harder than he thought it would be. He could feel Nate's and Sal's eyes on him as they delighted in his girl trouble.

"Yes, we had a crazy summer."

Kelly leaned against Joe, her hand going under his leather, rubbing his belly. She leaned in and whispered. "I also heard the band broke up, and then I heard you played here. What happened?"

"It's too long a story to tell you right before I get on stage," Joe stepped away. "But after the show, if you wanna hang out..." Joe smiled. "I'll tell you everything."

"Okay," Kelly smiled, pushing a brunette wave of hair from her face. "It's a deal."

As Joe walked to the stage, he looked back at Kelly Marsh, a classmate who never spoke to him in high school, then fucked him hard at her parent's beach house during her summer before college. Then Kelly invited him and the band back to BU for a night of Warren Towers debauchery. She was tall, leggy, and gorgeous. Joe adored her full dark hair. Best of all, Kelly was fun. They joked about Providence as if they were outsiders. It was going to be difficult to not party with her. Kelly was his best friend in Boston.

Joe debuted a new T-shirt that night. After Sharon, one of Kelly's BU girls ripped his yellow B-52s shirt off his back, he walked side-stage, reached into his back of tricks, and put on a red shirt with his back to the people. He then turned to the crowd and the band. In large white letters with blue shadowing read, ROCKET SHIP.

No one in The Brickyard would know the joke, except his bandmates. Sal's eyes bugged a little, then he met Joe's eyes. He didn't like the new shirt. Nate shook his head in disbelief. Johnny nodded and smiled at Joe. He liked it.

After the show, Joe didn't join the band at the bar. He sat on the front edge of the stage talking to college kids, soaking up their compliments like a needy sponge. Attention was his drug, and the fans of his band liked to dish it out. He knew Kelly would make her way over, and she did.

"So what's the plan?" She bent forward to kiss him. Joe kissed her back vowing to himself that would be the last kiss. "Are we going for a bite or straight to my dorm?"

"I can't crash at your dorm tonight," Joe patted the stage for her to sit beside him. Kelly joined him. "I had a great summer in New York, for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is a girl I met."

"Oh," Kelly said, "I see. So you're like... in a relationship?"

"Yes, and I'm with her and only her. That's what I want."

Kelly smiled, "Good for you, Joe. What's her name?"

"Tina."

"Does she have a last name?"

"Costello."

"Christina Costello?" Kelly scrunched her nose. "Did you hook up with an Italian chick?"

Joe blushed, "Yeah, I did."

Kelly laughed, "You left Providence to find an Italian chick in New York? You once told me you can't date Italian girls because of all the big hair and nails and they're so precious, and fucking disco."

"Tina is none of that, she's a cool, bohemian NYU art student who loves punk rock... and me."

"How about we go out for breakfast and pie," Kelly patted his hand. "and you can tell me all about New York."

Joe looked over at his bandmates. "They look like they're heading back with your girls."

"That's fine. I'll tell them we're doing our own thing."

Joe watched Kelly walk off, admiring her perfect bottom squeezed into tight jeans. She she got back, she took Joe by the arm. They walked to the Greenline subway and points west, near BU. They talked the whole way, on the walk, on the train, and in The Commonwealth Diner. Joe delivered his New York story in pieces.

Kelly smiled at the end. "I was looking forward to hanging out with you tonight." she leaned in and placed her hands on Joe's hand. "I bought some lube and got myself all ready for you... down there." She smiled. "But I promise I won't try anything or pressure you. I'm happy for you."

"Then what the hell was that?" he said. "Why would you tell me that?"

Kelly smiled devilishly. "I just wanted you to know how hard it is for me to be a good girl. I had so many naughty thoughts about tonight."

"I'll make a note of it," Joe sipped his coffee, thinking. 'This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought it would be.'

In Worcester the following night, the crowd at Barney's was raucous, happy The Young Punks were back again. Monica jumped on Joe's bones, gave him a big kiss on the lips, and then went back to her boyfriend, the same big dude she was with at his graduation party.

It was after Barney's gig that Joe noted a new behavior of Johnny's. He had always slipped out back doors and onto patios for a smoke. That's what smokers do, They congregate and smoke. He began wandering off with his cigarette, just walking and smoking alone. At Barney's, he was gone for a long time on a cold night with a light rain. Who walks in that weather?

Joe thought back to the nights they played down I-95. Johnny did it a few times, just walked away to smoke alone. Now Joe was watching for it, in Springfield, Troy, Albany, and Syracuse.

Every time Johnny wandered off, Joe noted the time and the time he returned. Then he watched Johnny closely, looking for signs. He hated himself for being paranoid. He felt like a narc. After their debut gig in a Syracuse Orange bar, Joe phoned Tina the following morning.

"We're grabbing breakfast shortly and then we'll be on the road. I'll be home when you get out of class."

"I can't wait to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"How's Johnny doing?"

Joe exhaled. "I think he's getting high."

"Why do you say that?"

"Johnny's always been a chill dude, but not a loner. That's what he is now, withdrawn, he wanders off alone for long stretches. I think he's getting high."

"But you don't know for sure?"

"Last night he was smoking a joint alone. When Nate reached out, thinking Johnny would pass it to him, Johnny looked at him blankly and walked away. I looked at Nate. He shrugged and called Johnny a Bogart. I don't think that's why he...."

"What do you think it is?"

"I think the joint is laced with heroin. The punks at Tommy's taught me the tricks... how functional junkies get high. They use cigarettes or weed to deliver a quick fix. Johnny hates the cold more than me. A few shows back he walked off for 23 minutes in a poorly lit factory complex in near-freezing temps at 11 PM. Why would he do that?"

"You timed him?"

"I noticed the time. This is not normal Johnny behavior. Last week he took a stroll in the freezing rain. It's hard to not notice shit like that."

"Is he playing okay?"

"He's been fine, but not great. He waits until set break or after the gig to get high. Johnny knows I'm listening closely. I know when he fucks off on guitar."

"Does Sal see anything?"

"As long as Johnny shows up Sal doesn't give a fuck. I can't mention this to Sal unless I know for certain he's getting high. I'm worried about them staying at The Chelsea. Sal won't keep an eye on Johnny."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I can't babysit Johnny H. I can't do that again. I want to enjoy my time with you, not obsess over the band."

"I appreciate that, and I have ways of keeping your mind off your troubles."

"Yes, you do."

--- TINA VS JADA --

The band had a night off in NYC before a show at Tommy Guns. As they were setting up before the show, Joe asked Nate what the guys did on their off time. Nate said they all did their own thing.

"You know I love Sal, but sometimes I need a day off from his bullshit."

"I'm aware of that need. What did Johnny do?"

"I barely saw him."

Tommy's was the first gig of this trip where Joe was 100% certain Johnny was fucked up. He played sloppy and took shortcuts, just like last summer. Because Johnny never performed with flair, as if he was too cool for stage moves, it was hard to judge body language. Johnny was low-key sober and low-key stoned. Joe had to watch for the swaying and unsteady feet, but mostly, he listened to his guitar parts. Joe heard the missing notes and muted strings most people would never notice.

He tried to not obsess over that problem because Joe had other issues to contend with that evening. A moment he dreaded had arrived. Every time Tina attended a show at Tommy's, Joe knew there could be drama. He knew it was coming.

One minute after he and Tina walked into the club, Jada Jones blew right past Tina and put lips on her man. Joe saw Jada coming but was still taken by surprise. Jada's lips landed on his. He didn't kiss her back, but there was enough contact to make Tina wonder. Jada had her arms around his neck, looking up at him, her long, black, shining mohawk falling down her back.

"I've missed you," she said loudly.

Joe glanced at T who was visibly annoyed. He put his hands on Jada's shoulders and turned her sideways. "Jada, this is my girlfriend Tina. Tina, this is Jada Jones."

"I know who she is," Jada said, not looking at Tina. She grabbed Joe's hand and pulled him. "C'mon. You have to meet someone."

"No," Joe held his ground, refusing to be pulled away by firmly planting his feet. She was tugged back by his unmovable stance. "I have work to do. Maybe later."

"It'll only take a minute."

"No!" Joe pulled his hand from her grip.

Jada stood in silence for a moment, finally glanced at Tina, giving her the up and down look, then walked away in a huff.

"I'm sorry about that," he said to T.

"Did you just kiss her?"

"No, I did not."

Between sets, the band retired to the backroom at Tommy's. There was a storage room behind the stage near the restrooms. Tommy kept cases of beer in there as well as cleaning supplies. The band sat on the cases, going over changes Joe wanted to make for the second set. Tina was there when Jada walked in and sat herself on Joe's lap. Tina's face instantly turned pink.

"So," Jada's arms went around his neck. "What surprises do you have for us?"

"Look," Joe said, peeling her hands off his neck. "I know what you're doing. Just stop." He stood up, denying her his lap, but kept her from falling by holding her up. She used that as an opportunity to hold Joe close. Jada whispered in his ear, "Her? Really? You can't be serious."

"Yes," he moved Jada away with a stiff arm and spoke clearly. "I'm serious!"

Jada looked up. Joe's tone and expression left no doubt. She then backed off to the opposite side of the small room. Sal and Nate observed. Johnny had walked out the back door when Jada interrupted the band meeting.