Amanda and Jeff Ch. 18

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amanda cried.

Jeff looked at Vince and said, "You haven't said much, Vince."

"I'm at a loss for words," Vince said.

Yvette asked, "Jeff, you seem different. I wish you could see Dr. Jerome. Are you feeling alright?"

"It's funny, you should ask. See, Dr. Jerome may have told you that he's gone on vacation, but truthfully he's fled the country. It seems the company doctor was playing games, prescribing drugs, giving an actor or two questionable medications. He gave quite a lengthy deposition at my lawyer's. He fled afterward." Jeff said, "my lawyer is waiting for my 'ok' on bringing him back for justice."

"See, I woke up one morning a couple of months ago; my nipples were tender and leaking a milky fluid. I went to my regular physician. I had suspicions before as I'd been losing strength and body definition. After a series of tests, he explained that I needed to quit playing around with female hormones. He did a full blood test. It seems like Dr. Jerome decided I should be more feminine, so he started me on estrogen. My doctor also told me that I was unable to father any children; it seems Dr. Jerome wanted me to be sterile as well."

"Under questioning by my lawyer, Dr. Jerome admitted to chemically castrating me before Amanda's pregnancy. He further said that you, Vince, were part of the decisions. You had put him up to it."

Yvette and Amanda turned to Vince. Yvette said, "You didn't. We only talked about that as a potential script. Real-life, Vince, that was too far. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"So the question remains to Amanda, whose baby is it? You were supposedly exclusive to me for three months. There had to be at least one other partner." Jeff asked, "or is this Jesus' second coming?"

Amanda was crying. "I couldn't do without the sex, so I slept with Vince a few times, but we were using condoms. I'm carrying your baby, Jeff, I know it."

Yvette looked at her husband, "You're uncharacteristically quiet, Vince."

Vince looked down at his hands, "I was 'stealthing' you, Amanda. Once we got started, I would take the condom off. I hate those things. Truthfully, I wanted to knock you up."

Yvette was pissed; she had grown as close to Amanda as friends can be. Although she wasn't totally upset about Vince's actions, but throwing doubt into the paternity of Amanda's baby and now a possible breakup of Amanda and Jeff pissed her off. She and Amanda had talked about Amanda being a surrogate mom for Vince and her. Jeff floored her with what he said next; it was as if he could have read her mind.

"Ironically, Vince, Amanda, and I had talked about her being a surrogate for you two after we had our baby. Now it looks like the hand was already dealt, but fuck, Vince, why did you have to fuck me over, castrating me, making me believe I could be a father, taking away any chance for me. Were you going to film my shock at the delivery? You had to crush me more than you have in the past?" Jeff said through tears; he was losing his composure. "Why didn't you just kill me?"

Everyone was looking at Vince. "I don't know what I was thinking. I was hoping that you would have become more submissive, Jeff. We've all made a bunch of money with the movies. I was always looking to push the edge a little further; our customers like what we're doing. I saw it all coming to an end. I should have realized how much my actions would hurt you." Vince said softly. "I shouldn't have done it."

"I don't care what you all say; I'm carrying Jeff's baby. It's mine and Jeff's baby." Amanda shouted.

Jeff quietly said, "It's your baby, anyway."

Amanda looked at Jeff crying, "You wouldn't leave me even if I had Vince's baby; you said I could surrogate for them."

"After we had ours. Amanda, for someone who is supposed to be so attached and loving to me, you continuously lie to me and ignore my concerns. I do everything for you, and yet you do nothing for me. I don't want to be part of raising Vince's baby. After what Vince has done to me, I don't want that constant reminder. It's too late to abort; I wouldn't be cruel enough to ask you to give your baby away. We no longer have the option of having our family because of Vince."

Yvette said, "We'll raise the baby."

Amanda said, "No, This may be the only child we have if Jeff has truly been chemically castrated."

Yvette said. "There has to be some way to make this right."

Jeff stood and said. "Help yourselves to another drink if you want or any food for a snack. I'm heading to bed. There are two other bedrooms; the beds are made if you need to stay the night. I've heard enough shit for one night...I don't want to hear how you think you can make this right."

Amanda asked, "Where do I sleep?"

Jeff said. "Either of the other rooms, the sofa, I don't care where, but not with me. We're done."

Jeff left the room and entered his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Amanda, Vince, and Yvette remained at the table.

"What am I going to do now?" Amanda sobbed.

"There's got to be a way to fix this," Yvette said.

"There isn't," Vince said. "I fucked this up; I can't buy back his virility. I so wanted to have a child by you, Amanda. If you and Jeff part company, I think Yvette and I would love for you to come live with us; we'll raise the child together."

"I still love Jeff; I'm sorry that I hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him. You guys are great friends, but no one has ever loved me as Jeff does. He always did everything he could to please me. I abused him and that love. He deserved better than me. I wanted to have a family with him." Amanda cried.

Yvette took Amanda's hand in hers. "It's not over yet. A lot was revealed tonight. It has to settle in. We'll be there for you if you need us if you guys break up. Come to bed with me. Vince can sleep in the other room; he needs time alone to think about his actions.

Amanda and Yvette walked to the bedroom, holding hands. Vince skulked off to the other room.

Although it was quiet, people had trouble sleeping well that evening.

Yvette and Amanda chatted quietly. Yvette reassured that despite everything, they would remain close friends, and Amanda wouldn't be alone with the baby. They cuddled together. Yvette wanted to find a way to make things right, but Vince had taken it too far. Jeff had already been screened by another doctor, brought in an investigative lawyer who was already working up a case. There would be criminal charges; Jeff could probably close the company in a lawsuit. Was there a way to appease Jeff, buy him out? She thought, "He's playing his cards close to his chest. This hospitality, his calmness was tough to read.

Amanda was pondering most of the night how she could make things up. She might be carrying Vince's son. That would mean at least eighteen years of parenthood, a lifetime of being reminded of how she cheated. She couldn't have another child that was Jeff's to re-establish her marriage to him. Why did she take things so far? She always followed along with whatever Julia, Yvette, and Vince suggested. There were times she should have said no. Her relationship with Vince was just sex. She and Yvette were best friends. Despite the lack of sexual satisfaction with her husband, she was deeply in love with him. She never wanted to hurt him; was she that blind that she didn't see this coming? Jeff had complained to her numerous times. She thought she didn't deserve it, but she hoped she'd get another chance. She couldn't believe that Vince had been so mean to Jeff.

Vince was lost in his thoughts as well. He knew that he'd be facing jail if his actions were exposed. Then no doubt, Jeff would be suing. He and Yvette were on the verge of losing everything. Yvette hadn't even scratched the surface in criticizing him. He would have a can of "whup-ass" opened on him when they were alone together next. How could he have been so stupid? The thought of having Jeff killed crossed his mind, but there was already a lawyer building a case. It was too late for that. Jeff was giving no hints as to where his mindset was.

Jeff, unlike the others, slept well. He was in his established territory. The others would have to be leaving tomorrow. All of the bullshit they had put him through in the past five years had made him a stronger person, especially now that his male hormones were being re-established. He was going to treat himself to a nice dinner the following evening after they left.

Jeff was the first one up in the morning. He went to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. He started up breakfast. He cooked up some bacon and whipped up some scrambled eggs. He staged the serving dishes on the island. He made some toast for himself, served himself bacon and eggs, poured another coffee, and sat down at the table. He was enjoying his breakfast.

Amanda woke when she smelled the coffee. She put her clothes on from the previous night. "I must look like a wreck," she thought, "I'll clean up when I get home." She quietly went out to the kitchen. She saw the spread that Jeff had made; his hospitality and quiet demeanor were troubling.

Jeff saw her enter the kitchen. "Help yourself." He said to Amanda.

"Thank you," she said, and she served herself a plate of food. She set the plate on the table across from Jeff and then fetched herself a cup of coffee. She sat at the table and dressed her coffee.

"Are we going to get a chance to talk about things?" She asked as she picked at her food. "Your silence is driving me nuts. Can't you yell, scream, or throw shit around."

"We can talk about 'things' anytime you want. We've always talked about 'things,' and it never seemed to change anything as you did whatever you wanted to. As far as yelling, what's the point? It's all water under the bridge. You're not going to change your ways. There's no way to fix things, so; I'm out. I'm also not going to allow Vince, Yvette, Julia, or any of the others to hurt me anymore." Jeff said.

"I'll change, I promise," Amanda said softly.

"How can I believe you? I look at your belly and see a baby that isn't mine. You promised me that we were going to start a family; you were going to be exclusive to me until we conceived." Jeff said.

"I didn't expect Vince to trick me," Amanda complained.

"Yeah, that was terrible, but you fucked him a few times a week during the time we were trying when you said you wouldn't. Your word is no good to me. At the beginning of this relationship, you said that you would always see to my needs, too; make sure I was satisfied. That never happened. My masturbating was getting satisfied, being humiliated, and having a forced climax was being satisfied. Sex was no longer about love. I don't see you changing. Am I going to be left home with your baby while you continue to fuck around? Ain't going to happen. We can have a quiet divorce or a messy divorce; I don't care about publicity; maybe it's about time others felt some humiliation." Jeff said.

Amanda sat in silence; there was nothing she could say. There was no reason for Jeff to trust her. Hell, she knew she couldn't trust herself.

Yvette entered the kitchen with Vince.

"Smells good," she said, "You didn't put poison in it, did you. I know you're pissed at us all."

"No, I wouldn't do that. I'm not the mean person here." Jeff said, "I'm not evil."

Vince felt the burn but let it slide. He was starving. He and Yvette served themselves. They set their food down and poured themselves coffee.

Jeff got up, finished the pot, and started another.

"This is a nice little retreat you have here, Jeff," Yvette said.

"Thank you, it's going to be home for a while, I'm afraid," Jeff said.

"Long commute," Vince said.

"I won't be commuting. I guess you can consider me retired." Jeff said.

Everyone was sitting at the table now.

"So I don't want to ask, but I have to know. What are you going to do about what we've done?" Vince asked.

Yvette interrupted, "What you've done, Vince, be more specific."

"Since the can of worms has been kicked over, I'll tell you. My lawyer is building a case; he says I've got claims against the company, the doctor, and you, Vince. He says that the doctor and Vince could see jail time, long terms."

"But I also have a financial investment in the company, and I've managed the finances for the firm. So all of that goes to waste if I sue the company. I will probably divest my holdings and turn the books over to whoever you hire to replace me. I'll provide a smooth transition. It doesn't serve any purpose other than revenge to see Vince incarcerated. I don't want to see Amanda's baby's father in jail, so I'm probably not pressing charges. The doctor will probably never come back to the US again. My remaining dealings with the company will be through Yvette as she is the only one who hasn't changed her colors through all of this, she was mean to me from the get-go, and I just can't trust Vince again. All of that is dependent on a clean, amicable divorce from Amanda. If people want to make things messy, I can do that too."

Vince felt a great relief. "I'll back down as CEO and give running the company to Yvette." He said.

Yvette looked at Jeff. "Thank you, Jeff. Do you have to divorce Amanda? I'm asking as her best friend. Already, you've been better to us than you had to be. Can't we make things right?"

"I don't see how. From the start, this was supposed to be about sex with other people, experiencing new things. It became entertainment for others to see me humiliated. Despite forced or ruined orgasms, I wasn't enjoying the experiences as others were. Some of it was fun at the start, but then you all pushed it too far. Promises that were made to me were never fulfilled or were fulfilled in a manner that was even more humiliating for me. On the set, I didn't mind too much as I was getting paid. In an arranged role play, it was fun because it started as play, then when I complained that it was going overboard, my concerns were dismissed, and it got worse. The tattoos, piercings, and now Amanda's baby are permanent. My sterilization is the icing on the cake. You've moved it beyond play; you want the full-time lifestyle. I don't." Jeff answered.

Yvette absorbed what he said. "From a business perspective, you and I have an unfinished movie project with another company. If we don't finish, they'll sue. That eventually affects you."

"I'll take that under advisement and let you know within a week. Unlike others, I don't want to hurt other people. I want to put this shit behind me and get on with my life with what you've all left me with," Jeff said.

Jeff asked if anyone wanted anything else. When they passed, he collected the breakfast dishes and brought them to the sink. He soaked them. He poured himself another coffee and sat down.

Amanda asked, "Won't you come home?"

Jeff answered, "This is home, at least for the near future. I'm comfortable here."

"Then how can we talk about... things," Amanda asked.

"You can call me; I'll answer next time," Jeff said.

"I want to fix this; I don't want a divorce," Amanda said.

"It's unavoidable. I don't want to join you on your current path. I can't trust you to change even if you said you would. Everyone seems to get something out of this deal, but for me, all I get is out. You'll have the baby. Vince and Yvette will keep their company. Vince won't be going to jail. Everyone keeps their money. Yet, I go on as less a man because of others' actions. Enjoy fatherhood Vince, since you screwed me out of it. I'm sure you all have other plans today you need to get on with." Jeff said.

"You were part of those plans; it was an anniversary party," Yvette said.

"I don't see much point in playing along; you'll have to find your entertainment without me," Jeff said.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table.

Amanda sniffled.

Vince held out his hand to Jeff. "If this is it, then I want to say it's been a hell of a ride."

Jeff didn't take the handshake. "It's been a much better ride for some."

Yvette asked, "When will I hear from you... about business?"

"By Thursday afternoon, I'll call your cell," Jeff said.

They all stood up. Amanda approached for a hug. Yvette intercepted her, whispering, "You've got to let it go, don't make it any more painful... for either of you."

The trio left through the door and closed it afterward.

Jeff heard them get in the car and drive off. He washed the dishes.

Yvette drove the car. During the ride, Amanda was obsessing on how to get Jeff back. Yvette engaged in the conversation. Vince stared out the window and tried to figure how he screwed things up so bad.

"I need to get him back," Amanda said.

Yvette answered. "Girlfriend, I don't see how. Do you think you can change? Can you go back to a vanilla lifestyle again? Jeff's wounded. Despite his new assertiveness, his manhood isn't going to recover. He wanted to be a dad; he wanted a family. Because of Vince, Jeff wouldn't be able to have a family with anyone else either."

"He always took care of me; he always put me first. I took advantage of that; I never rewarded him or showed him that I appreciated it. It was always about me. When we started this venture, he suggested an open marriage, but I couldn't go along with the idea of him dating other women; he might have someone nicer to him. I wanted to swing so I'd be involved in his relationships. Then you guys came along and showed me a lifestyle that was everything I wanted: extreme sexual pleasure for me, exclusive loving husband at home. I should have given him some concessions; instead, I rubbed his face in it more. I always promised to take care of him and then never delivered." Amanda said.

"I don't know where that rewind button is, honey. I think all of us could use it right about now." Yvette said.

There was a subdued atmosphere at Vince and Yvette's that afternoon. Yvette and Amanda had set up food and beverages for their guests. They didn't set up the rooms for sex play as they thought the day wouldn't go that way when they told the guests why one of the celebrants of the anniversary party wasn't there. Yvette pondered it, and the more she thought about it, she realized that they had been pure shit to Jeff. If the relationship hadn't fallen apart last night, it would have been shattered today with the humiliation that Jeff would have felt. Why did things go too far?

People arrived, and when everyone was in attendance, Yvette and Vince took everyone out onto the back deck.

Yvette cleared her throat, "What I'm about to say will probably upset most of you, but there's no way around it. We came here today to celebrate Jeff and Amanda's anniversary."

Amanda was already quietly crying.

Yvette continued. "Yesterday, Julia, Amanda, Steve, and Mike were enjoying some role play at Amanda's house. Jeff came home early and was upset. He left a note that he wanted to divorce Amanda. We followed him to his camp upstate and stayed the night talking to him and trying to patch things up."

"We couldn't patch things up because Jeff revealed other actions made against him that could never be corrected. It seems my husband and Dr. Jerome sterilized Jeff and started him on female hormones to feminize him."

Everyone turned to Vince, who tried to avoid eye contact.

"Then to further the damage to Jeff, Vince and Amanda carried on an affair behind Jeff's back when she told Jeff she'd be exclusive until she conceived. Amanda's baby may not be Jeff's; it may be Vince's."

"It's Jeff's. Why won't anyone believe that?" Amanda cried

Yvette walked over and hugged her friend. "We certainly hope so. Furthermore, the damage done to Jeff is irreversible; he'll never be able to father a child. Vince, would you care to say something?" Yvette asked.

Vince looked nervously at everyone. "I fucked up. It's my fault. I wish there were something I could do to make things right, undo the damage I've done. I've given control of the company to Yvette. I think I've proved that I shouldn't be trusted with big decisions."