American Boy

"No... we actually never talked about it," Qadira had to think back a bit, "but he's just... he hasn't touched me. Or tried. To him, we're friends."

"He suddenly doesn't like you? He seemed super into you a while ago."

"No, he's very sweet. He cleans and does the groceries, and he has dinner ready whenever I come home from work. I don't even have to ask—he just does all these things on his own." Qadira knew it sounded ridiculous even as she was fumbling to explain it.

"Geez, I'd fuck him just for that," Jennie deadpanned.

"I'm not sure he wants to fuck anyone." By this time, Qadira was simply talking while entranced by the traffic whizzing past the two of them. "Least of all his wife." Jennie shook her head.

"Can you go home now?" she asked, shaking her head further at the raised eyebrow she received from her friend. "Just go home and ask him why he hasn't been physical with you. What if he thinks you don't want him to be?"

"I... I can't—I mean, it's pretty self-evident, don't you think?" The idea of a discussion over something so personal mortified Qadira. "It's like having to ask why you weren't invited to someone's party."

"He was ga-ga for you before you eloped!" Jennie argued. "Something changed and you deserve to know what it was!"

Dread weighed Qadira down as she took the Yonge-University line north to Finch, then plodded the extra 10 minutes home from there. She knew this was a holdover from her upbringing, her fear of confrontation that stemmed from not being heard. Which was another thing she probably had to talk about with Phin, but one embarrassing topic at a time, she thought.

"Hey!" his voice called from the other side of the wall separating the front door from the kitchen. "I'm almost done cooking. I went walking to the library today and found a farmer's market that was actually reasonably priced!" He came around the corner while Qadira took off her shoes and hung up her purse.

"It was kinda fancy so I thought of course this is some bougie farmer's market posing as—"

"Why don't you want to have sex with me?"

Ohhhh, you didn't, Qadira berated herself as Phin's hands stopped on his stomach while he dried them on his apron. But the question lay there on the floor and there was no way she could pick it up and stuff it back in her mouth again.

"Let me... let me turn off the stove."

Qadira sat on the couch, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, breathing deeply enough to avoid hyperventilating. No, that's a little too deep, she realised upon feeling somewhat lightheaded. Phin pulled off his apron and sat down, turning his body toward her.

"Qadira... okay, first of all, what brought this on?"

"We've been married three weeks, Phin," she started, her heart pounding through into her voice. "You've been so sweet doing everything around the house so all I have to do is work... and I do still feel like we're friends. But aren't you attracted to me?" As Phin stared at her, she paused upon noticing she'd never seen his eyes this wide.

"I mean, I thought for the first week we were just filling out paperwork and changing account information so maybe you had other things on your mind. Now I'm feeling you're never going to want to..." She stopped when Phin closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, gently shaking his head.

I need the earth to swallow me whole, she begged any deity that was listening.

"This is the first I'm hearing that you feel like this is a real marriage," he finally said, to her bewilderment. "This is also the first I'm hearing that you're actually attracted to me the way I am to—" Shit, you could have stopped at the first sentence, Phin cursed himself.

But what was the point now? They were married and he had to be dreaming that she saw him as more than some charity case she was helping out.

"I mean—" Fuck, her eyes were as big as saucers. "I mean, look at you! It's not just that you're devastatingly pretty, you also happen to be my ideal woman except for being clueless all this time that I had a colossal crush on you since we first met."

Qadira felt like she had an entire sandbox in her throat as she listened to Phin ramble on.

"But I didn't think for a minute you thought about me that way when you arranged our drive-through wedding and then reminded me we were doing this fast so I could stay in Canada."

"Well, that was the purpose, sure, but I thought once we were married..."

"Qadira, let me ask you something. In the last three weeks, why haven't you ever come on to me?" The question visibly threw her for a loop. "Why haven't you climbed onto my lap or put your hands up my shirt? How would I ever know you were interested in anything but a formal arrangement if you're sitting back and expecting me to read your mind?"

"Because..." Shit, she conceded as her face burned. "Because I thought it's the guy's job to—" She grimaced when she noticed Phin's smirk. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm laughing because you somehow got through 29 years in the 21^st century while behaving like you're in the 19^th one. So much for feminism, huh?" Qadira tried to remain indignant but dammit, she couldn't. She always forgot herself and started giggling when she saw Phin's infectious smile.

"I'm going to be direct," he said, moving over to her and putting one arm around her while the other hand held her own. "You've done more for me than anyone I've ever known in my life, at great risk to yourself. If this really was just a favour, I didn't want to take anything more from you. Especially since..."

"I'm a virgin?"

"Yes. What if you were waiting for the real thing to come along after you and I split up?" He backpedaled when Qadira's eyes widened in alarm. "Not that we're going to split up! I mean, the likelihood is far lesser now than—shit." Phin tried to collect his thoughts but it was like herding a roomful of cats.

"That first night we spent together when you thought I might have a head injury—I didn't know I needed that so much until it was actually happening. I wanted to stay and cuddle with you instead of getting up and going back to my hotel room the next day, then carrying on like a corporate stooge. And now that I get to do just that—stay with you, that is—I didn't want to mess it up."

Qadira sank into his arms, which gave him the confidence to keep going.

"Now that I know you require me to do my husbandly duties and service you—" He flinched as she elbowed him in the ribs, "—I need to know how you feel about me first." A lull hung in the air as he hoped he wouldn't have to explain himself further. "I..." Dammit, he'd need to actually say it.

"I'm fine either screwing around for fun, or falling in love, but I can't do both and then learn this was an arrangement all along and eventually be separated from you."

"Phin..." Qadira swung her legs over his lap and put her hand on his cheek, his stubble scraping her palm. "I can't say I fell in love with you right when you burst into the café and told off the Green Lantern," she paused to take in his grin, "but I can definitely say I trusted you immediately. I probably fell in love with you one of the times we were sitting by the water this summer."

Phin couldn't believe the rush that hit when both relief and euphoria flooded him at the same time.

"I want to be your wife in every respect," she continued, tilting her face up toward his. "And you're right, I'm sorry. I expected you to carry out a set of actions I'd decided on in my head and then got weird about it when you didn't follow the script."

"I take it talking about feelings is not something you grew up with?"

"You take it right," she confirmed, curling up closer. Phin didn't want his body to react the way it did, and it was all he could do to adjust himself so Qadira couldn't feel him harden. At least not yet, anyway.

"You know when no one in your family ever expresses what they want because it's considered rude to be so forward?" she asked.

"My mom's Jewish and my dad's Mexican, so no."

"Fair enough," she grinned against his neck. Her fingers were now tracing his forearm tattoos and Phin willed himself to concentrate on her words. "I never asked for anything because it was implied that we were lucky to have everything we'd gotten, coming from a country torn apart by imperialism.

"So my sisters and I did the brown girl thing by behaving exceptionally, exceling at school and extra-curriculars, and never being demanding. If I'd known that way of thinking would one day be an issue in my marriage..."

"Wow, your marriage," Phin repeated, tracing the slope of her nose and the curve of her jaw with his fingers. "That's also my marriage."

"That's how I'm assuming it works, yeah," Qadira smiled. The cool metal of her wedding band almost hissed against the heat of Phin's neck.

"You never told me how your family responded when you called them and told them about us," Phin suddenly remembered. "Wait... please tell me they know about—" Her vigorous nodding let him relax.

"Yup, they were surprised and happy, and they were ready to let our crew run the business for a couple of weeks in Halifax while they came here and arranged a big, fat, Muslim wedding," Qadira explained. "Which would have been a nightmare, no matter how well-intentioned. I mean... it wouldn't have been just us. What do you think? Am I being too sensitive? I always worried I was ungrateful."

"No, no," Phin waved his hand. "I know what you mean. My dad never said it outright, but his dream was for me to play pro baseball. It was a huge thing where he grew up in Mexico. As a kid I thought I would design video games. So he's being super supportive and taking me out to the field all the time, and I didn't have the heart to tell him..."

"Oh my gosh, that's exactly what it's like," Qadira sighed in relief. "I wanted the freedom to make mistakes. If the film school had been in Nova Scotia, I don't know if I'd have had the courage to switch careers because I knew the expectation was to stick to one thing."

"I'd still like to meet them, though," Phin said, twirling a lock of her thick waves around his finger. "Maybe after everything with immigration is cleared? You know, since I'm now learning that this is a real marriage and all." She beamed, then shifted so her mouth could reach his.

"I would love for my family to get to know my husband," she whispered, lacing her fingers through his hair and pulling his head close.

The soft, wet heat of their first kiss all but scorched Phin's brain, in part because he'd waited so long for it, half-expecting the moment to never come. But it was pushed aside by a second kiss, then a third where Qadira brushed her tongue along his.

The hand that had rested against the side of his neck was now down by his waistband, edging its way into and up his shirt. Phin moaned while pulling his wife a little closer, unafraid to let her feel what she was doing to him.

"Still think I don't want you?" he exhaled as he put her hand against the bulge in his lap. He didn't expect for his breath to stall as she put her mouth on his neck and stroked him outside his joggers.

"Okay, okay, we can't," he panted, wanting nothing more than to bury his face between her legs until she wept. "I still need to finish dinner and feed you." Goddamn, her tongue on his neck was not letting him think. But thankfully, she pulled back.

"It's really okay to be forward?" she checked.

"I require it from you."

"Then let me shower while you finish dinner. Then you deflower me, then we eat, then you deflower me again." This was the Qadira he remembered from the night they met—unencumbered, lighthearted, and funny.

"I'm not the smartest guy," he nuzzled her cheek, "but I think the verb 'deflower' implies it can only happen the one time. You know what, I think it's best we just not use that word 'cause honestly, it's kind of creepy."

"Okay," she agreed, her hand back on his stiffened cock. "I'll shower, you cook. Then you fuck me, we eat, then you fuck me again." Phin's breath came out more belaboured than he intended, as Qadira hopped off the couch, leaving him stranded for a minute before he could comfortably get up again.

Maybe deflower was the right word, he thought as he tasted the stew cooling down on the stove, having no idea whether he'd added salt or not. After all, this was going to be his first time with a virgin, and he was scared shitless about hurting her, nevermind being unable to make her come.

The excitement he felt at finally being with the woman he loved battled it out against the crushing pressure of... well, finally being with the woman he loved. He made sure for the umpteenth time that the stove was totally off, heading toward the living room when his heart stopped.

Qadira smirked at him from down the hall as she slipped out of the bathroom and toward their bedroom, freshly toweled off but without wearing a stitch. Phin stumbled along, desperate to get a better look at her swaths of golden-brown skin, the fear in his mind taking a backseat to his instincts.

Her pert breasts pointed toward him as he let his gaze slowly float down her body from where he stood in the doorway.

"Phin, you're making me self-conscious," Qadira said, her confidence from a moment ago now wavering.

"Don't be," he muttered. She didn't know how, but he was somehow making her nipples stiffer just by staring at them.

"This is all I'm going to do to you today," he said, surprising her. Before she could let out a flood of questions, he whipped off his shirt and pushed down his sweats.

"What... what are you—if we're not going to—"

"Fair's fair," he shrugged. "If you're going to stand there bare-butt naked, why shouldn't I?"

"Phin, I thought we agreed..." Qadira stammered, somehow feeling more embarrassed at her husband stripping down than she was at being nude, herself. But the sight of his upright cock made her forget the end of that sentence.

"We actually didn't agree to anything, if you recall," he countered. "You told me what you wanted, we debated the usage of a weird-ass verb, and then you flounced off before I had a chance to respond." Clearly taken aback, Qadira put her hands on her hips and Phin gritted his teeth as a vision of mounting her ankles on his shoulders pushed its way into his head.

"C'mere," he told her, drawing back the bed covers. She had no reason to feel shy, he reasoned, when his erection had preceded him across the room. Every sway of her hips as she followed seemed to make him harder, if that was at all possible.

It was so natural how she fit her curves against him and rested her head on his bicep, the skin-to-skin contact sending a rush through Phin's brain.

"Tell me about your day," he said, to which Qadira erupted in laughter.

"Phin, I want to have sex with you!"

"Look, I know you wicked Canadian ladies love to chase tail," he deadpanned, secretly reveling in how the puffs of her breath hit his bare chest as she giggled, "but I am not an easy man and I demand some emotional intimacy. Now tell me what your day was like, woman!"

"Fine," she said, turning so that one leg rested between the both of his, her knee closer to his crotch than he thought it'd get. The warmth between her legs radiated against his thigh. Phin really, really hoped she'd start telling him about work because he really, really needed to hear it.

"Fortunately, there were no fatalities because it's always an awful day when you lose someone," she started, "but I did have to cut a man's pants off."

"You hussy."

"I thought you'd say that," she smiled. "There was a gash on a guy's thigh at an arena, but I was able to treat it by cutting his jeans well, pretty high up there." Now Phin was giggling.

"You made him some homemade jorts?"

"I did, indeed." God, Phin was so beautiful when he did that little chuckle, she thought. And he's only doing this to make sure I'm relaxed. He was a different animal altogether to have the self-control he apparently had, being naked in bed with his wife for the first time but being this considerate.

He continued telling her about the farmer's market and getting the spicy veggie stew recipe from one of the vendors.

"I tells ya, that chick was totally into me," he nodded assuredly. "I said to her, 'lady, just because I bought bell peppers from you doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on my wife!' but she just kept pushing different-coloured bell peppers on me until I held my ring right up to her face and said, 'I'm married, and you're 75 years old!'"

Qadira's stomach shook against his as he pushed a few of her tumbling curls off her face. When she slowed down, he couldn't hold himself back anymore and took her mouth in a leisurely, deep kiss. Another followed, and then another, after which Phin found himself holding her rear and pulling her closer as her fingers tangled in his hair.

"I thought you said all we were going to do was look at each other today," she hummed against his cheek as he kissed her forehead. "Not that I'm complaining."

"That's a cultural thing," he replied, delighting in how her lips parted in awe when he cupped her breast and rubbed her nipple. "We Americans lie to ourselves a lot to get through major life events." He kissed her twice more, taken aback a bit when she grabbed his lower lip in hers and gently sucked. Oh, I am not gonna be able to handle you, am I?

"Seriously, I want you to know I love you," he told her. "I also desperately want you, but I love you first."

"Phin, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me unless I already loved you."

He growled as he devoured his wife's mouth, his head already buzzing when she took one long leg and hooked it high up on his waist. There was nothing more he wanted to do than flick her nipples with his tongue, but somehow, Qadira had read his mind.

Before he knew how she did it, her plump lips were on his chest instead, her legs straddling him. His hard-on strained against her stomach while she had him on his back, nipping and sucking one little nub while kneading the other with her thumb.

"Arrrgh, you're sure this is all new to you, baby?" Phin flinched at the electricity shooting through his chest. Qadira turned her dark brown eyes up toward him, making sure he saw her catch his nipple in her teeth.

"There's a lot to be said for anticipation," she purred. "And there's a lot of waiting around in both filmmaking and first response, so I always had a Harlequin in my pocket." She punctuated her sentences with kisses to his collarbone. "You know they were founded in Winnipeg?" Phin wanted to die when she sucked at him again. "I ended up learning a lot over the years."

"Thank the lord for that," he said, turning her onto her back and pushing the comforter off them. As he held her knees apart, he swore he had to be the luckiest guy on the planet.

"Baby..." Qadira squirmed while he rested on his haunches, his forearms against her inner thighs.

"No, love, I'm not going to compromise on this," Phin told her. "I won't be able to come unless you do, so you lie there and think of England, you got it?"

And with that, he spread her apart and lapped her up until he heard a low whine emerge from her throat. Gently licking his way inside her, he was encouraged when she whimpered and spread her legs further for him. Phin's tongue sped up, whirring its way upward until Qadira's squeals told him he was stroking the right spot.

She didn't know at first what that tingling sensation humming through her thighs was, but it got stronger and spread all the way up to her stomach. As Phin transitioned from licking her clit to full-on sucking it, Qadira swore she was being lifted right off the bed.

"Phin..." She melted into the sheets as the tingles became a full-on buzz and overwhelmed her head, making her scream while her husband held her legs down. He didn't stop what he was doing with his mouth, of course—at least not until her body calmed and she was left panting, her eyes on the ceiling in a hollow stare.