Amusing Train Ride Ch. 05

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"I'm not an expert on the subject, but I do have a smattering of knowledge, as does every educated person. You are not now about to tell me that we have a hypogryph or an unicorn in the baggage car are you?" I chuckled.

"Oh no! It is much worse than that; much worse I'm afraid."

"Ah ha. I see. Then of course we must exercise all precaution possible." I was suddenly nearly sickened by the horrid sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My young lover; this perfect picture of brilliant feminine youth, my image of precociousness; was absolutely hatter mad.

My expression must have betrayed my dismay because her next comment showed that she read my thoughts.

"Dearest, you must trust me about this, as absurd as it may seem. With your help, we have little chance of success; out you, I have none."

"OK. What is that you have in mind for me?" I had few options. We were on a train in the wee hours of a cold spring morning, speeding across the heartland. I had just fucked myself stupid with a partner who was likely underage or insane or both and about whom I knew very little. How could listening to her now worsen my situation. Little did I know.

"Not everyone on this train is as they appear to be. You went into the smoking car after dinner, correct?"

I nodded.

"While you were there, did you notice anything or anyone strange?"

"Every person was male except the bartender and I have known her for several years."

"Haven't you frequented the smoking car every evening after dinner, both on this trip and on every other trip that you have ever taken?"

Again, I nodded. I was trying to follow her direction.

"Didn't you notice a very tall man dressed entirely in black leather? He had very pale skin and iris so pale a blue as to be nearly white. He had been sitting in the front smoking car nursing a beer when I saw him."

Yes, I had noticed him and had thought him a strange one. And there were two dark skinned men who didn't seem to be comfortable, but these are hardly menacing evils.

"The worse thing that we can do now is to underestimate our foe."

"One more caution, my love. I am almost sure that we have a shape-shifter to account for. I mean besides me, of course." And she giggled as she kissed me on the tip of my nose.

(To be continued, if you are interested, of course!)

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Too much brutual force

I absolutely love the character of the exotic, unique girl that you conveyed to us. Thank you for creating this wild beauty. Your male is however...typically male. The sex scene was vigerous, continous, and envigorating, and then his vulgar reappearing dialouge tainted the love I felt between them. While she claims him as her truest love, and attempts to describe their earth shattering experience in words, while engaged in the act, he unfavouarably dominates her. Why is it that he labels her as a blossoming orchid, love goddess, sexy innocent in his own secret thoughts, without so much as a compliment on her exstique beauty to her in person? His being a "new and improved",

more youthful, more agile, studly "fuck machine", is no excuse for his ill advised words. I have marveled at the talent of your passages, but I must excuse this one from my list of favourites. I rob him of excuses, as in his earlier behavoir, he did not reveal his admiration of her beauty, and when they are reveling in the love between them, he falls flat. Where is the love? I feel as if she is the one doing all the giving, and he is only concerned with his own petty pleasure. Bitch is a very derogatory term. Unfit for her role. He makes the quality of their lovemaking reach a new low. If this was roleplay and he called her a bitch, because she said she was his skank, or something to that effect, that would be an acceptable turn on. But because she clearly shows her devotion and love to him in her actions, and especially her words, I would expect him to mimic her reaction, instead of turning into a brutual monster. She is the shape shifter not him! He even goes on to tell us how he draws his newfound power from her, and how radiant she is. She rubs off on him. I am annoyed at his false machoism. He should give her credit, by actually telling her. I find him quite cowardly. Good thing she can "sense" he loves her. But this is very vague. You built up his morale and character... When they are making love, DO NOT make him lose his previous depth :( Treat your lover kindly, and do not exert force :( Other than my quite lengthy rant, Your story is very thourough and enjoyable. But you have ignited my anger. I don't mean to sound pompous, although my writing style refelcts it. But this is A classic case of stereotypcal male behavoir in the bed. If you couldn't trace the clues, I'm female. Not gay. And no I don't despise men, I just desire in stories a horny man who isn't so plain mean and selfish. If you think I'm a warrioress, (not bitch.) I'm not a hypocrite. Thank-you. Ladies and Gents, honour your inner warrior/ess.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Visceral Victorian

Interseting way to develop or control the scene...Murder on the Occidental Express?

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
ethralling and arousing both, please please, more!

I love it! I can't wait to read more. Your story unfolds slowly, in an almost leisurely fashion, yet it's not something that I would hurry in any way. It's like good long sex in that it's exciting but not something that's going to be over anytime soon. I find myself completely immersed in the story, wonderfully aroused by the sexuality, and intensely frustrated that there isn't any more to read at this point.

Well done. I'm going to bookmark your bio and will be checking back here hoping to find more "Amusing Train Ride" chapters.

Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
I didn't think this story could get any better . .

but this is all cumming (ha!) together! Incredible. I was eagerly awaiting the manifestation "otherness" in this story. It has . . please don't leave us hanging for too long, Matadore!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
i'm quite interested

i hope you do write more chapters

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