An Analysis on IncestbyTh3Desi©
In this day of sexual liberation, incest is the one kind of copulation hardly anyone is willing to stand up to defend. Most of us define incest as sexual intercourse between two closely related people. It's a sickening thought to imagine sex between two family members. There is no human group that approves of father-daughter, mother-son, or brother-sister marriage. Incest is the only taboo which is almost universal. If you had asked my opinion about incest a few days back it would have been similar to the above lines. But now after doing some research on the subject my opinion has changed a bit.
Earlier my opinion was based on what society had thought me about incest. From a very young age my subconscious was programmed against it. While defining incest we just talk about the sexual aspect of it. We just judge the person committing incest nothing more than a sick pervert. We don't think about the emotional and psychological circumstances under which it was committed. We judge people without knowing the actual facts. Incest is neither a mental illness nor a perversion. There is no denying that in a society incestuous couples do exist. One should not demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime. It is a violation of human rights.
Here, by incest I mean the sexual relation between two consenting adults. Sex with a non-consenting adult or a child is one of the most hideous crimes. Consensual incest and Pedophilia are completely different. Pedophilia may include incest (interfamilial child sexual abuse) which we all should condemn. For a pedophile, incest is a secondary issue to the pedophilia. A pedophile doesn't care if the child is his or others. While doing some research, I visited many incest communities on the web. I was pleased that all most all members were against child sex abuse. The first thing I discovered was that they are normal people just like us. One of the new friends I made runs a NGO for underprivileged children. They are doctors, engineers, teachers and even lawyers. Here I just want to say that don't judge them only on the basis that they practice incest.
Few things that I noticed on the communities were a bit disturbing. Some people were posting nude pictures and videos of their mothers and sisters. One should respect privacy of a partner, especially in this kind of a relationship. One more thing that I found disturbing was the tendency of some members to encourage other members to start an incestuous relationship. Love shouldn't be planned; it should take its own course.
Recently I had a chat with the 'Head of the Department of Psychiatry' of my medical school. Initially he was shocked when I bought up the subject of incest.
"I have never seen a single case of Incest that has ended happily," he said. "Incest is a complex phenomenon. The consequences depend on the individuals involved and the environment around them," he said smoking a cigar. He put out his cigar, looked at his watch and said he was getting late for a meeting.
"Thank you sir for sharing the information," I thanked him.
"But remember people come to a psychiatrist only when they have a serious problem. There may be cases of successful incest which didn't come to the attention of a mental health professional. People with positive experiences know that they will be in deep trouble if they come out and admit their relationship," he said as he left. He is one of the most famous and experienced psychiatrist of the country.
Why incest is considered as a mammoth taboo? According to majority of the people who are against incest, it is because of the risks producing defective children. If we prohibit it on the grounds that it risks producing defective children, we must also prohibit reproduction by hemophiliacs and the carriers of a host of other defects. Women above 40 years should also not be allowed to conceive a baby. There are plenty of other diseases which are transferred from parents to children. Then this implies that the couples who are carriers of these diseases shouldn't be allowed to have children. Does it mean that the couples with known genetic risks will be punished?
If the restriction is purely based on the principle of risks producing defective children, then majority of sexual acts (oral sex, anal sex, foreplay, mutual masturbation and the rest) will not lead to pregnancy. Does it mean that these sexual acts are acceptable? Then why aren't these acts legalized? What goes on between consenting adults is nobody's business but their own. Family is defined by love, not by conventional morality.
In some cases reproduction will be impossible for one or both of the parties, as when a woman is postmenopausal or either is infertile. In some cases the male may have undergone a vasectomy. If one or both of the parties of an incestuous couple are infertile then why can't they have a relationship? Birth defects could also be prevented by subjecting the sibling marriages to the same rules which already applies to cousin marriages. How can we oppose two people living together who are harmless to the society? One more question I would like to ask- if gay sex is private, then why isn't incest? If the Constitution forbids the states to criminalize private sexual conduct between consenting adult heterosexuals and homosexuals, lovers who happen to be siblings can no more be sent to prison. The government has no right to peek into their bedroom.
Scientists are split on the extent of the risk of genetic defects. Closely related individuals are more likely to carry a negative recessive gene. There is also a rare probability that the given gene may even express itself. But the people who make a fuss about the negative recessive genes forget to mention about the positive recessive genes. It's worthy to note that the expression of negative recessive genes provides the opportunity to eliminate them form the genetic pool. The longer they stay recessive, the more widely distributed throughout the population they become. As a result the net expression of the negative recessive gene gradually increases with time. There is some increased mortality in the children of close-related parents, but the number is not remarkable. The rate is slightly more when compared to normal couple.
Even if there is a significant genetic threat, criminalizing sexual unions may not be the most effective remedy, given that genetic counseling, genetic testing, and contraception are available. Therefore it is clear that genetic issues cannot explain the prohibition on sexual activity between relatives by affinity. We must also not confuse sex with marriage. Just because something is distasteful to the majority doesn't mean it ought to be outlawed.
Other assumptions are the existence of Westermarck effect and that we are genetically programmed to avoid sexual intercourse with close relatives. This is completely false. We are not genetically programmed, instead mentally (and subconsciously) programmed by our elders to avoid sexual intercourse with close relatives. From a very young age we are thought that incest is bad and it's an evil practice. If you believe we are genetically programmed to avoid sexual relationship with a close relative then how can you explain GSA?
GSA or Genetic Sexual Attraction is sexual attraction between close relatives, such as brother and sister, who first meet as adults. The effect is also seen between cousins. GSA often occurs as a consequence of adoption, when the adopted children knowingly or unknowingly encounter biological relatives. It is generally highly distressing to both parties, as this sexual attraction is contrary to their socialized sexual and moral structures as well as against the law.
We do know that every human group has some form of the incest taboo. According to some historians exogamy stared because of the need for extension of people's relationships and to create alliances. In early human history, this would have been important for survival as alliances would have diminished war making between small human groups. As time progressed the practice of exogamy became more and more prominent and the practice of endogamy became extinct. The small human groups pushed their children outside the family for marriage for the safety of the group. This theory explains the introduction of incest taboo into the society.
Why a brother is attracted to his sister? What is the main cause for the attraction? There is something more than physical attraction. One of the main reasons is the unconditional love and emotional attachment (and dependence), which are expressed as sex under certain circumstances. Several other factors may contribute to the attraction between family members. People commonly rank faces similar to their own as more attractive and trustworthy. Heredity produces substantial similarity between family members. Shared interests and personality traits are commonly considered desirable in a partner and may contribute to the attraction. In cases of parent-child attraction, the parent may recognize traits of their dead spouse in the child.
Some people just enter into an incestuous relation just because of curiosity. This is common especially among young siblings and cousins. The reason behind this is simple, what is proscribed becomes all the more attractive. What will happen if the government legalizes incest? If you think that half of the world will be fucking a close relative, then you are absolutely wrong. There will be some people who will obviously abuse the law. The government gives you permission to have sex after you become an adult. This doesn't mean that you have sex with every other female/male form you come across. There isn't a single law that is abused by someone or the other.
Let the truth be told, the psychological damage that could occur even from a purely consensual act of incest will be unknown for years to come. Incest has the potential to destroy families. Most of the incest cases don't end happily. This is because of the guilt the couple experiences. This guilt arises as they have been subconsciously progmmmed that incest is an offense. The guilt also arises as incest is condemned by the law. Moreover there is huge amount of pressure from the society. The success of an incestuous, homosexual or even a normal relationship depends upon the love, understanding, involvement, loyalty and sacrifices of the individuals involved.
One more truth that needs to be told about an incestuous relation is it leads to role conflict. For understanding the concept of role conflict let us take an example of a mother-son couple. What will be the role of the mother? Will she still be able to guide her son as a parent? Or would her role change to that of a lover? What a son expects from a mother as a parent and a lover are quite distinct matters. If the couples are not careful about role conflict then the expectations and obligations that are attached to one role would conflict with those attached to another role. Therefore the issue of role conflict should be sorted out before the couple decides to start an incestuous relationship. The couple also needs to understand that everything is going to change once you enter into this type of a relationship. This is irreversible and you cannot get the old relationship back. It's a commitment for life. You can't just break-up with a family member so easily. If you ask my opinion, sibling incest is more acceptable than parent/adult-child incest. The reason is age difference, power and responsibilities the parents have towards the child.
I purposefully didn't mention about incest that was practiced in the past and in different cultures in this article. I am planning to write a separate article on that subject. Moreover it doesn't matter if our ancestors practiced incest or not. Because ultimately it's your life, your relationships and you have to face the consequences for your actions. You can't blame anyone if anything wrong happens.
The purpose of writing this article is not to convince you to commit incest. It's neither to condemn it. This is just my opinion and I don't expect you to agree with it. It's just my small effort to understand the complex subject a little better.
People who have grudge against incest, my suggestion is you don't commit it. If you don't like it, you don't do it. If you are concerned about the welfare of the society, then I have an advice for you. Please donate 2% of your income to any children welfare organization or stop smoking cigarettes or work as a volunteer or at least make an effort to reduce carbon emission. If you find the above mentioned tasks difficult to perform then at least try to be good to others and yourself. Why give so much importance to this when there are more serious issues like terrorism, corruption, racial discrimination, poverty, pollution, global warming...(the deadly list is endless). For those engaged in incest or any other act (sexual or not), see that there is no hurting any one in the process, no force, no coercion, no betrayal of trust and no victims.
Life is a journey; the important thing is to enjoy the journey. It's not that important if you reach your destination or not.
Refer Wikipedia.org for precise scientific information, clarification, studies, surveys and statistics on incest.
Please Note: I know there are a lot of mistakes in my writing (I am in the process of learning English as it is not my mother tongue). Criticism and comments (negative as well as positive) are always welcome. It's always interesting to chat with female readers of any age or location (male instincts, I guess). Good looks not at all important but should have a sexy young brain (brain is my favorite sexual organ). Bye, see you soon.