...And Stay There!

When he was through, I gave him a paper towel I'd gotten from the bathroom to wipe his face. "Jim, I'm very sorry to have to show you this. If you're still angry with me, I understand and I'll walk away without any hassle. I had to show you this because you need to be aware of it.

"I didn't film this; a friend of ours did. He and the two of us are the only ones who know. That is the only copy as he taped over it and I deleted it off my computer after I made that copy. He has been sworn to secrecy.

"They have been meeting for three or four weeks—that we know of—on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."

"It figures," Jim said as he spit into the trash can. "We have lunch meetings with my boss on those days. She knew I'd be busy."

"There's one more thing—if they are true to form, they will be meeting in about fifteen minutes, and I know where—if you're interested."

"Let's go."

"Okay, but let me drive. You probably shouldn't be driving right now."

It was a quiet ride for a while; I could tell Jim's mind was reeling from my news. Suddenly, Jim spoke, "Ray, I'm sorry. I never should've believed her over you. She said that you broke it off with her when you caught her and another guy walking together. She said you went apeshit and started yelling, making a public scene. She thought that you wanted to get back with her and start something on the side, and she was going to tell Catey, but I talked her out of it. I should've known that you wouldn't do that, bro. It's just not like you. I'm sorry, man."

"Don't worry about it—we're bro's! I'm just sorry that she came between us and I missed you all the time we were apart. When you called me that day, she had already called Catey with her pack of lies. When I got home, Catey jumped my butt and chewed me a new one for hitting on Jenny and making her cry!"

"She did what? I'm gonna kill that sneaky bitch!"

"Easy, Jim. We don't need you going off to jail over the likes of her. I ain't saying that a payback isn't on order, but think a minute before you do it. The best revenge ain't worth a shit, if she can visit your sorry ass in jail, laughing at you all the time."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll try to keep a cool head."

"By the way, it was Oscar that took out Nate Berkins in bathroom that night, not Jenny. I assumed that she didn't tell you the whole story of what happened..."

"You're shitting me? What else has she been up to?"

I filled in the rest of the drive with that story.

We drove by the alley slowly, and about three houses down was a red Mustang, parked off to the right side. There was a large truck parked just across the alley, so we couldn't drive through the alley, even if we wanted to. We parked on the street just past the alley and walked on down to the all too familiar sight of the bouncing red auto. Jim got alongside them and I saw his face melt as he saw them.

He paused as it all became a bit too real, and was about to fling open the car door when I stopped him. I held my finger to my mouth to remind him to be quiet, as I whispered to him, "I have an idea."

As the oblivious couple grunted and groaned their way to glory, I lead Jim over to the truck parked across the alley and started to connect the hose to the tank. This was a water truck, the kind that people with backyard pools call when they need to fill them; I know this from the sign on the side. Jim picked up on my plan, and connected another section of the six inch diameter hose to the one I just attached to the truck. He carefully placed his end in the front seat through the open window and waved to me. I opened the valve to full on. Within seconds, the inside of that car filled with water, and it was overflowing out the open windows! We stood back to watch the fun.

Jim and I laughed as a couple heads came up for air, sputtering and coughing. We laughed even harder when various articles of clothing began to wash out over the newly created waterfall and into the street. We heard laughter coming from behind us and saw Nick standing there, laughing so hard that he had trouble getting his breath.

When Jenny stuck her head out the window, I shut the water off. She reached the outside door handle and opened the door. After the big wave rushed onto the alley, she got out, not noticing that she was topless, and angrily ran over to the three of us.

"You sons-of-bitches! Ray, I should've known you'd be behind this! If you wanted to get in my pants, you didn't have to..."

I cut her off, "I NEVER want to get anywhere near you or your filthy, cheating-slut pants again! I thought I made that clear years ago and again in my office, last month! Remember, if you don't learn from your mistakes, you're doomed to repeat them. You got wet last time; this time you got soaked. By the way, I don't know where you get off trying to bust up my marriage and my friendship, but you better cover up, or you'll get arrested! I think your bra is headed for the sewer drain over there..."

She looked down at herself, and saw I was right. Flushing three shades of red, she looked around to see her undergarments (including her matching red panties) flowing rapidly downstream. This brought about another round of laughter from the three of us, as she quickly ran after them, her wet heavy skirt sliding down as she went. She almost fell when it got down to her knees, pulling it back up as she chased her garments.

Manny had retrieved enough of his clothing to appear normally dressed, but still was soaked to the bone. He came over towards us, yelling angrily in Spanish, probably cussing us out. Then he saw Nick, and suddenly thought better of the beating he was going to give us.

Nick spoke up, "Manny, I'll give you a ride back to work. I parked at the end of the alley. Get in the back of the truck...you're too wet to be in the cab. Sorry about your 'lunch.' Well, actually I'm not; you were screwing my buddy's girlfriend. " Manny headed for the truck, muttering under his breath.

Jim asked, "Nick, what made you show up?"

"I'm sorry to tell you that I'm the cameraman for the video you saw. Ray told me he was coming over today, and I guessed that you two would be here, so I came to help out. You guys already have it under control, so I'll be going. What made you guys flood the car? That is so damn funny! I thought I was going to bust my gut laughing! The look on her face was priceless! The best part is, I caught it all on video!" He held up his camera phone.

"It was Ray's idea. I was just about to pull him out and beat the crap out of him, when Ray stopped me and...well, you saw the rest. It would've been even funnier, if..."

"Yeah, I feel your pain, man. Been there, done that, and got the fucking tee shirt. If you need anything, be sure to call me." Nick gave him a one-armed man hug, and started down the alley. He called back, "Don't be a stranger, Jim."

"Thanks, I know who my real friends are now; that includes you, Ray," he said, turning to me. We did the hug thing again, adding a friendly pat on the back. As we finished, we noticed Jenny coming back up the alley towards us. Nick, who was walking towards her, stopped to pick up a piece of pink cloth and threw it up into a nearby tree. When it stuck in a branch, it unfurled to reveal itself to be Jenny's shirt. We chuckled as we saw the infuriated look on her face. Nick laughed loudly as he walked away.

Jenny was as mad as a wet hen, and even wetter than one. She was dripping wet and splashing with every step, lacey underwear in the hand of the arm she held across her bare chest. If possible, I think she was even more pissed now than when she first approached us.

It was about that time that I heard the driver of the water truck make a loud and angry inquiry about what happened to his water. I went off to take care of that, while Jim and Jenny shouted back and forth. I explained to the driver what was going on and offered to pay him for the whole truck load. He refused my offer, saying, "I only wish I could've seen that cheating whore get her reward."

I walked back over to the car as Jenny was starting it and getting ready to leave. Jim gave his final decree to her, "Jenny, I never want to see your cheating slut ass again! If you want anything of yours from my apartment, you can send a friend over to get it. One last thing, Jenny, you can take your lying, cheating, cheap, sleazy ass and go to hell..."

I joined in with Jim, adding in unison, "...and stay there!"

After note:

Somehow, a DVD of her sex scene with Manny in the backseat began to turn up around town. It was mailed out anonymously, but I did NOT lie to Jim when I said that I deleted it from my hard drive.

It turns out that my dear wife knew how to recover a lost file from a computer hard drive (okay, I may have shown her how), and burned a "few" copies (about thirty, at last count). She sent them out to Jenny's friends and her rich elitist family. Seeing their precious daughter going at it with a "lowly Mexican worker" didn't set well. It was sent with a label reading, "In case you were wondering why Jenny will never marry a classy guy like Jim."

Jenny left town in less than two weeks.

*

Author's Note:

I considered using a septic tank pumping truck, instead of a water truck, to fill Jenny's car with raw sewage, but I felt she had "stunk up" the story enough!