Andrea Donovan Pt. 01

There was nothing wrong with any of these people; I was just used to being around guys with a little more dirt under their nails and chicks that looked like they belonged on the back of a Harley. Andrea was very capable of playing this role too, but unlike me she could also dress-up and play in the big leagues of the corporate world, navigating her way through the hierarchy of a large office building while negotiating her way through the endless maze of bureaucratic bullshit, something which I was completely incapable of doing and quite frankly had no interest in. I think Andrea simply enjoyed the challenge of a complicated project and then experiencing the thrill of watching it come to fruition.

She also knew how to play rough and she could wheel and deal with the very best of them, something which I admired greatly in her. "She could sell sea water to the Captain of a sinking ship" I had often bragged of her but it was true. If in fact Andrea ever did sell salt water to the Captain of a foundering vessel then that man would go down with his ship, convinced that he had taken advantage of Andrea and gotten the better end of the deal. Andrea's skills at salesmanship were absolutely phenomenal; she was a natural at sales and was also known for her honesty and integrity - I came back to the moment now as everyone broke out in laughter to something which had been said at our table, whatever it was though, I had no idea.

...When all of us had finished eating I stood up and collected everyone's plates and utensils and then carried them to the plastic bin which had been set out for their collection at the front of the room, near the kitchen on a small table.

"Excellent job tonight, thank you, sir!" I said as one of the kitchen staff came out to retrieve the bin and replacing it now with an empty one.

"Thank you, glad you enjoyed it" he replied, nodding.

I found my place beside Andrea at the table once more as everyone was continuing to converse and enjoy a drink or sipping on their ice water. Putting my arm around my wife, I looked around the room now which was filled with the noisy din of plates, silverware and low crescendo of conversation mixed with the occasional laughter of comradery. There were probably a few hundred people in attendance now, some of which had just arrived within the last half hour. These were all birds of a feather, they understood each other and they were all in the same racket of flipping houses or buying and selling "pieces of dirt." They worked with each other and they had probably argued, negotiated and seen each other in their absolute worst moments, as well as their very best. These people were comrades in arms and they all spoke "Real-Estate," the elusive language that was so foreign to the rest of us. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves I now noticed and even Bob Harrington was chatting and smiling a few tables away as he sat with several people, himself seated beside a white haired lady whom I assumed was his own wife. Maybe the guy had just needed to blow off some steam a while ago when we had talked, I now pondered...

A few minutes later as if on cue, everyone in the room slowly began to stand, repositioning their chairs around their own respected tables with the sounds of chairs scraping the floor. All present at our table did likewise and we were soon facing the westward side of the banquet hall, so as to have clear view of an erected podium.

"It's nine o'clock now - nine o'clock ...its nine o'clock, you guys - what time does it start, oh now you mean? ...Who's this guy, again? ...it's nine o'clock" the entire crowd began to murmur.

"What's going on now?" I asked Andrea.

"It's time for our distinguished speaker for the night, Arch Stanton" Andrea replied, as she looked at her watch.

Andrea and I had already been facing the west wall, so neither of us had needed to move our chairs. I sat now within the aura of Andrea's perfume and thought about the little Texaco gas station again. ...At nine oh seven a very robust man of seventy-something strode to the podium with a manila envelope in his hand, pausing just long enough to quickly converse and then laugh with someone seated close to him. Arch Stanton had a great suntan and moved easily up to the podium, a place where he appeared to be quite comfortable. He looked like he was having a blast this evening and he was definitely surrounded by his own kind of people - Arch Stanton spoke real-estate and it showed.

"Hear me OK, Flip? ...How's this, better?" Arch now asked from the podium as he spoke into the microphone and looked toward someone in the rear of the banquet hall.

..."Why did the real-estate agent cross the hotel lobby? - To get to the bar, of course." He now opened to a fair amount of halfhearted laughter from the crowd, including Andrea's

I decided immediately that I liked this guy, even though I didn't speak a single word of real-estate. A computer generated chart now appeared on an overhead screen to Arch's right and he began to run down a list of numbers pertaining to the chart's graph, using a red laser light as his pointer. I understood none of it yet found it to be quite entertaining with the exclamations and punctuations which Arch used to emphasize certain points of interest "-You're sure as hell gonna lose money if you do it that way" ..."- My grandmother used to always say that you can't get blood out of a turnip" ..."- Hell, anybody can see that" ..."- At least that's what my ex-wife used to tell me" ..." - Nothin's for nothin', folks" ... "- You don't keep running, after you catch the bus, simple as that"...

As I sat with Andrea and continued listening, I suddenly realized that Arch reminded me of Doc Feldman, an elderly gentleman that I had grown-up in the shadow of, whom we had all loved. Doc had been notorious for telling uproariously funny stories and he had been able to brighten any room simply with his presence alone, regardless of whatever circumstances may have been prevailing at any one time. I suddenly realized just how much I missed Doc as I continued listening to the man known as Arch Stanton. ...I stole a brief glance at my wife now sitting next to me, her exotic perfume evident. Yup, she had me hooked, ain't no doubt about that. ...As I sat looking at her I marveled, as I always had, at her hair and facial features - damn woman, you're one sexy wench, I thought to myself. She was the one woman that I couldn't live without. Damn, she was good looking, I acknowledged to myself again. Andrea turned toward me and caught me looking at her; we kissed briefly, she then rolled her head back as if saying, "Not bad, I'll take some more of that later."

Arch continued onward in his presentation now as Andrea turned her attention toward him again. If Andrea was paying attention to the guy, then he knew what he was talking about. ...My mind began to drift now, Ricky and Brenda would be here soon, Brenda had taken early retirement and Andrea wanted me to do the same, yeah that'd be nice but it also brought up a lot of questions around money that needed to be answered. Andrea had been planting "money trees" here and there over the last twenty years and some of them could very well bloom and bear fruit in the very near future. One in particular was interest that she had in a small neighborhood strip-mall which was just on the verge of paying for itself and hopefully begin generating some return revenue for the investors who'd help finance its construction, at least that's how I understood it.

The place was in Phoenix and I'd even been there a few times with Andrea. It was really a rather dumpy little place with a coin-op Laundromat at one end, a pawn shop, vacuum cleaner store and one or two other shops, one was a tattoo parlor or something, I think. -"Don't laugh at this place, Tim, those quarters and wrinkled up dollar bills eventually ad up and this place could be a goldmine someday" she had said to me. I wasn't laughing; I understood perfectly well that she knew what she was talking about. I began zoning out again now as Arch Stanton continued with his presentation.

...Yeah, but damn, why couldn't someone set up some kind of little shop in the old Texaco station? - Why not? I'd seen other places where people had fixed up old gas stations and made them into quaint little shops - hell I could do something like that I bet, selling antique car parts and stuff. ...Pay your health insurance every month, food, gas and taxes at the end of the year and also have everyday walking around money, really that's not a whole lot of money. ...I hadn't talked to Andrea about the Texaco station and I probably needed to. I just had a fear of spending any more money and I didn't want to be one of those guys that squeezed his wife for money.

- "I dunno dude, I gotta talk to the old lady first and see if she'll let me buy it"

...I'd dealt with those kinds of idiots when selling cars and stuff on the internet, complete losers. I never wanted to be like that; I made my own money and never wanted to place myself in a position where Andrea would no longer respect me...

-The crowd around us suddenly broke into heartfelt laughter at something Arch had said...

"We'll go in about twenty minutes, Tim, he's almost finished" Andrea whispered to me, looking at her watch.

I nodded an affirmation and a few minutes later we found ourselves standing in the line with several dozen people to shake Arch's hand and say thanks. As we stood, Andrea introduced me with some people behind us whom she had apparently not seen in a fair while, conversation between Andrea and the couple then ensued for several minutes, all of which revolved around real-estate. ...Reaching Arch, we shook his hand and thanked him for his presentation and words of encouragement. Andrea then said a cordial good-bye to several of her closest associates before I drove the two of us toward home in Andrea's BMW.

Andrea and I talked about Arch and how much fun we'd each had at the gathering that evening, and really ...I had enjoyed the evening. ...It would be close to midnight when we got home, I noticed, looking at the B.M.W's dash mounted clock as we pulled onto I-10 and merged into the light traffic. I was looking forward to sleeping -in the next morning and sharing some extra cuddle time with Andrea. Presently, Andrea yawned and then elaborated on Arch Stanton some more. Apparently the two had been colleagues for quite a number of years now and they were quite fond of each other, somehow this didn't surprise me. ...Making the left hand turn off of Sunland Gin road enroute to the ranch now, I couldn't help but steal another quick glance at the little Texaco station, standing all alone in the pale moonlight.

____________ (2) _____________

DUFFY

..."Tell me about the Spitfire again, Tim, elaborate, please" Duffy now said, as she sat looking at me.

"(sigh) OK, like I said ...you got a Supermarine Spitfire Nine, got the Merlin Rolls-Royce V-12 engine with seventeen hundred horse, eight machineguns and all that, right? The Spitfire Nine is long and lean, beautiful, graceful and fast, damn fast. Now imagine you give this big beautiful machine to a twenty year old kid, he knows how powerful she is and how fast, and it's the ultimate ego trip - for this kid. He loves the Spitfire and knows that with her he can fly, really fly, and that it's the most exhilarating thing that he can ever imagine, but here's the thing, he also knows that she's WAY out of his league and that she can turn around and bite you too." I explained, trying to describe it as best I could.

I knew Duffy didn't like the use of the word LEAGUE in any of our conversations but I couldn't think of any other way to convey my feelings.

"And this is how you see Andrea, more or less, a Spitfire? Duffy asked.

"Figuratively, Yes" I replied, nodding.

"So when you say, she can bite, - you mean, do something wrong and crash - end in tragedy." Duffy asked.

"Yeah, the kid and Spitfire fly gloriously together until the kid fucks up at the controls and then the beautiful Spitfire turns around and bites him because she's out of his league to begin with" I answered.

"Tim, Andrea tells me that one of the first things that you ever said to her when you began courting was - 'We'll either fly or crash.' That's pretty black and white isn't it? ...Is it possible that if you ever made a mistake and got a Spitfire into a flat spin or something that you might be able to correct the controls and not crash?" Duffy asked.

"I don't know anymore, Duffy" I replied and I didn't.

"How do you feel about your marriage now?" she asked.

"I'm in love with her more than I've ever been but it also feels like I've got a fucking piano strapped to my back right now. I said.

"...Let's go back to your first marriage with Susan for a minute. Why do you think it failed?" Duffy asked.

"We were never in love to begin with" I said simply.

"Why did you marry her then?" Duffy asked.

"(sigh) ...I was in love with my first cousin, Adeline, and Susan had similar mannerisms and she also looked very much like Adeline" I replied. I'd been over this ground several times before with Duffy.

Were you and Adeline intimate, did you ever sleep together?" Duffy asked.

"No" I said, shaking my head.

"OK and how old were you when you were in love with her - Adeline?" Duffy asked.

"All along I think" I said.

"You just said, a minute ago, 'Now imagine you give this big beautiful Spitfire to a twenty year old kid'... Were you close to the age of twenty when everything with Adeline fell apart?" Duffy asked.

"...Yeah" I replied, trying to keep my composure.

"Did the Spitfire crash then, Tim? Did that relationship with Adeline end in tragedy?" Duffy inquired.

"Oh yeah; it was a real shit-show. It took me thirty years to get over Adeline - the fuckin' Spitfire plowed into the fucking ground with me in it." I acknowledged.

"How does this relate to Andrea, now?" Duffy asked.

"...I just feel, sometimes, like Andrea's going to wake-up one morning and realize what a total fucking loser I really am." I said, hiding my face now.

"The Spitfire will bite you and crash again, you mean?" she asked.

I nodded affirmative without speaking.

"OK, I see a couple of things that you could maybe think about. Number one, Andrea isn't Susan or Adeline, either one. Number two, you and Andrea have gone from being care-free lovers 'fuck-buddies' as you've referred to it, to now being man and wife, committed to each other in a serious relationship. It's going to take some major adjustments on both of your parts to make this work. Both of you are fiercely independent people, Tim, and your sharing living space and all of your combined net worth now, you're both TRUSTING someone - and that's heavy for anyone. ...Both of you are hard workers but you're each selfish and spoiled too. I also believe that the two of you are genuinely in-love with one another" Duffy said, looking at me.

I made no reply.

"Do you know a good definition for marriage, Tim?"

"Devotion" I replied.

"That's part of it but more specifically - SERVICE, we SERV our spouse. Tim, marriage is a selfless institution and it's a lot of hard work to be married but there are also a lot of wonderful benefits along the way with it too. You and Andrea are both very selfish people but I think you'll eventually -straighten out and fly in unison, to use the Spitfire analogy, because you're both honest and willing to work toward a common goal, despite however much I have to prod and preach at you both sometimes." Duffy said, pausing to take a sip of water.

"Yeah, I think you're right" I replied.

..."Tell me about the girl at the traffic light now" Duffy said.

"Yeah, what's up with that, Duffy?" I asked incredulously.

"She flashed you?" Duffy asked.

"That's TWICE now that women have flashed me, good-looking women. ...I was just sitting at the light and heard someone yell 'HEY' - I look up and this good looking chick has her shirt up to her chin and she's running her tongue over her lips and looking at me while her and her girlfriend went through the green arrow in the lane beside me. Where the hell were all these women when I was dying of a broken heart - what's up with this, Duffy?" I asked.

"Did it turn you on?" Duffy asked.

"Sure it did, for a moment, I mean. Why didn't I have these experiences when I was single?" I asked.

"The reason you're experiencing this now is because you have all of your needs met and you're not LOOKING for anything, women can sense that. When you were single you conveyed that you were looking, and women can sense that too. You're also a mature and very attractive man that takes care of himself, that also draws women, just ask Andrea" Duffy said.

"Makes no sense to me, Duffy" I replied tiredly.

"What do you miss the most about being single, Tim?" Duffy asked.

"My freedom and the thrill of the chase" I replied bluntly.

"What do you miss the least about being single?" she asked.

"The loneliness and superficial bullshit, I don't miss going on first dates either, that's for damn sure." I said.

"Andrea's your soul mate?" Duffy asked.

"(sigh) ...yes she is and sometimes that pisses me off" I replied.

"The reason you didn't chase down the flasher girl at the turn lane is because you didn't WANT her, Tim, you're BETTER than that, I know it and Andrea knows it, only you don't quite know it - yet. When the girl showed you her boobs at the traffic light, it had nothing to do with you anyway; it was all about her, inflating her own ego. It also allowed her to go home and masturbate while she replayed the scenario in her mind. As far as LEAGUES go, you're obviously WAY above where you'd place yourself, Andrea is head-over-heels for you and she's a tough sell, Tim, I know her well enough to tell you that.

She pursued YOU when the two of you were courting and you didn't win her over with some cheap line of bullshit either - she's too smart to fall for that. ...Did you know that you're the only man that's ever acknowledged that she's a good businesswoman? You're also the only man that's ever respected her as a person. Yeah, Tim, you're in her LEAGUE and you've won her heart until the very end of time, I can guarantee you that. So you better buckle-up and plan on going for a ride and it's going to be a wild and wonderful adventure, Amigo" Duffy said now, a little passionately.

I remained silent as she continued.

"The piano on your back is your resistance to change. You'd rather carry the piano on your back and bitch about it than do anything to change the situation because carrying the piano is FAMILIAR to you. The reason, being in-love with Andrea pisses you off sometimes is because now you know that you'll HAVE to change, because there isn't a damn thing you can do about being in love with her - you've lost the ability to control the situation and this frightens you. You're also not afraid that the Spitfire will crash - you're afraid that it's going to FLY and that also takes courage to face. Andrea isn't the Spitfire, your marriage to-her is the Spitfire, what we're doing now is learning how to MAINTAIN and fine tune this Spitfire that you're so afraid of" Duffy said in quick succession like a boxer throwing a sudden combination of devastating punches at her opponent just before a knock-out...

I lost my composure for a few minutes.

"Why is it so fucking hard, Duffy?" I asked.

"Growing pains, my friend, that's all these are - for you and Andrea both" She smiled.

"Andrea always said you were sharp, Duffy. I was completely composed when I walked in here forty minutes ago, now I'm a sobbing mess." I joked as I began to collect my composure again.

"Tim, you and Andrea are my, Free Money, that's why I always schedule you and her as my last clients of the day and that's also why I only charge you fifty bucks a session. With either of you two, I know that I'm not going to be lied to and that you really are looking for solutions - this gives ME encouragement and I need encouragement just like anyone else. Whenever I look at my schedule and see that one or both of you are scheduled to see me that day I always think, Yay! ...I look forward to seeing either and both of you and I know that whenever we sit down together that we're actually going to make some progress in changing your live, and mine too, for the better. - I have people that have been coming here to see me for YEARS and we're still exactly no-where, they won't open up about themselves, they lie to me and they won't lift a finger to help themselves. You say that you're a sobbing mess now, maybe so but you're also a little wiser about yourself now and also a little stronger - we just did about six months worth of therapy, in exactly ...forty one minutes, because you're honest and open with me." Duffy said glancing at the clock.